Amusing search terms #3

I always love looking at the search terms in the stats section on here – mostly because the stuff that people put into Google is kind of funny. Some of these might be repeats from #1 (I can’t find the post!) and #2 because WordPress has screwed around with the stats page. Siiiiigh.

First of all I have to start with this:

mitch pileggi eyebrows

Why? Why would anyone search this? His eyebrows are terrifying. Someone could literally write a horror movie with his eyebrows as the monster and we would all be genuinely scared. No points for you, anonymous searcher!

A day in the life of….supernatural snark

I was going to write a completely nonsensical and probably irrelevant step by step of how I recap. Mostly because I need to critique myself and figure out how to make them shorter (and I didn’t want to use this time to actually watch an episode). However,  I couldn’t be bothered. So I spent twice as much time as I would have writing that making a comic strip version of my watch/recap process.

I am currently questioning my life choices.

Anyway, click ‘read the rest of this post/continue/read more/whatever the hell it says’ to see the comic strip 😛

And the results are in!

 

People actually voted, which is cool. Thanks! I have some results to present in the form of a gold cupcake that I uh, borrowed from Google Images. Please don’t sue me, oh great creator of this cupcake.

*drumroll*

snarkview: 8×23, a horrible, horrible way to waste 45 minutes of your life.

The best time to quit a show is either right after a season premiere – “I’ll catch up later”, and then you NEVER DO – or, right before the finale because you can pretend that they didn’t fuck everything up beyond repair. Unfortunately when every episode of Supernatural is a lesson on How To Fuck Up The Show Even More, knowing when to quit is impossible. DO I QUIT TO SAVE MYSELF? OR DO I CONTINUE SO I CAN MOCK THESE PEOPLE AND CALL THEM STUPID JUST TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER.

We all know what choice I’m going with. I’m still half-quitting though. Ahem.

Anyway, finally watching the finale! Better late than…watching it at all, but I’m dense, you all know that. I’m a danger to myself.

What This Episode Was Called: Sacrifice

What It Should Have Been Called: The One Where The Writers Exceed All Previous Attempts At Ineptitude 

Well, the episode titles are improving.

I am sure Dog Dean Afternoon will be an exquisitely disastrous episode that lives up to its name.

In other news that gag reel is out.

I have no interest in watching the season 8 one, because while I’m sure that they spent ten minutes carefully planning out what to include, the gag reels are as blatantly staged as the end of episode roadside conversation. I don’t need to see any more BJ mimes and crotch shenanigans, so none of that.

Despite the fact that you pretty much know what you’re getting with these shit reels, fandom (or well, parts of fandom) were enraged about a particular clip where Misha shoves Jensen’s head in the vicinity of his crotch.

E N R A G E D

PLEASE. Like they’re not all going to go out and buy the DVD. Like they don’t laugh like hopped up hyenas when Jared and Jensen do stuff like this. LIKE THEY WEREN’T EXPECTING AN INSANE AMOUNT OF CROTCH SHENANIGANS. Like this shit wasn’t aimed at them in the first place. Like they haven’t realised that every single male on the SPN set has a mental age of any digit not exceeding 9.

ANYWAY. I NEED TO GO AND WATCH SLEEPY HOLLOW NOW.

snarkview: 8×22, not saving people, hunting things unsuccessfully, the family business

WordPress has changed!

Oh and I don’t remember anything that’s happened, but whatever!! I’m sure there will be brand new plot for me to get my head around that contradicts the rest of the season somehow.

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What The Episode Was Called: Clip Show

What It Should Have Been Called: 9.12, because Supernatural does not need 22-episode seasons. THEY SUCK AT IT.

RECAP: As usual it is FULL OF ALL THIS SHIT. SOME OF WHICH I HAVEN’T WATCHED….WHO IS ABBADON? Some red-headed chick by the looks of things. That Dean cut into strips and laid under cement. Okay then.

Anyway.

Our pre-credits soiree comes with one of the original Dumb Kids In The Woods!!!!!!!!™ All the way back from season 1!

“WENDIGO” HE SCREAMS. Right before he bursts, and blood splatters on his girlfriend and everywhere because that’s not old yet.

snarkview: 8×21, in which no Transformers characters are mentioned at all.

This is terrible but not very long. Haha.

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What This Episode Was Called: I actually have no idea.
What It Should Have Been Called: Dean Winchester, M.D.

Sam and Dean show up at Kevin’s shack with the second half of the tablet and he declares that he can find out the third trial. Sam and Dean are overly ecstatic and Sam calls him Special K and they leave and oh, they’re demons and really, it’s all an elaborate set up by Crowley, who claims that he was born to direct. For some reason he actually has a backstage area set up and everything. How wonderful.

the rest of season 8

I haven’t even attempted to watch an episode since the last one I saw…but I’m going to try and finish the season and get it out of the way. There’ll probably be something up by Friday. I don’t know if I’m going to do any of the ones I haven’t watched, is there any point? I do want to watch them though just to have it out of the way, and also because I have a few downloaded because I’m stupid.

I have no idea if I’m doing season 9. Ideally, I’ll be watching…but I’m extremely out of the loop right now and there’s a good chance that I’ll just forget that Supernatural exists between now and whenever the hell it airs. LOL.

Anyway…..ANOTHER SHITFEST OF A SEASON IS OVER! Rejoice with Carlton, people.

How wonderful.

I haven’t watched the episode (or any since the last post I did) but someone (for some reason) just told me what happened. All the angels have been expelled from HEAVEN!!!! Wooo!!! What an interesting development!!!! Such a great plot twist. I had no idea that this would happen, and it just makes me so excited for season 9! Here’s to another season of Cas whining about how hard his life is, while Dean whines about how hard his life is, because he’s sacrificed so much, yet people keeping letting him down, and none of it is his fault. Sam will just…be there, somewhere, with his hair looking ludicrous. Depending on what mood the writer is in, we may get a line or fifty about how Sam just wants a normal life/wishes he could save people again. So basically, CAKE!

Also, how great of them to bring Sarah Blake back just to kill her off. Sam’s PEEN’O’DEATH STRIKES AGAIN…just, it took a long while in her case. Oh well.

snarkview: 8×20, the saga of felicia “her highness” day, volume-fucking-three.

supernaturalsnark says: Hi guys! The awesome Trish agreed to write up this episode for me because I’m still allergic to Felicia Day. Of course, because Jared Padalecki is a saint, I wasn’t able to miss out on the episode entirely because he decided to live tweet it. Thanks for that Jared.

Honestly, I’d have preferred a live tweet of an episode with Amelia in it. I want to know all about the chemistry he had with Liane! LOL.

Anyway, over to Trish!