bad acting

Bad Moviethon #5 – Daredevil (2003)


Daredevil | 2003 | IMDB

Synopsis: A man blinded by toxic waste which also enhanced his remaining senses fights crime as an acrobatic martial arts superhero.

Rotten tomatoes score: 44℅

Review excerpt: 

Torn between moody grandiosity and cartoonish mayhem, Daredevil tries to have it both ways, and succeeds at neither.


Batman & Robin continues to elude me but I caught this on TV last week was inspired to blog about it. Sort of. 

I don’t even need to recap. This movie is garbage

I used to think that people were being unnecessarily harsh about it, but no, it’s bad. The only thing I liked was hearing Won’t Back Down by Fuel in the closing credits. That’s my song! Teenage me probably loved the movie’s soundtrack but overall, the film itself was a mess. It was boring and somewhat nonsensical. Colin Farrell was really cheesy as Bullseye. I have no idea what that first ninja battle scene with Elektra and Daredevil was. Or whichever one happened near that kids playground. I was just shuddering due to the cringe. Not to mention the whole ‘stay‘ thing as it’s raining buckets. UGH. 

The movie is basically like one long Evanescence music video, complete with the soundtrack. 

I don’t even know how Daredevil managed to survive after Elektra almost killed him. Or how he managed to catch up with the Kingpin. It was like time slowed down for me but not the movie? If that makes sense. It barely held my attention.

On the flip side, I suppose it isn’t completely worthless. The visual effects weren’t bad. It makes for good background noise/minor entertainment and there are probably worse movies out there. Like Playing It Cool (I’m still processing just how bad that movie was). 

Anyway, based on this, I can only imagine how bad Affleck’s Batman is. I haven’t seen Batman vs. Superman but I hear that it wasn’t great. How surprising. I suppose the upside is that Affleck still has the perfect jawline for the role. 

One Lamp To Live – Fight Edition


or…a collection of cheesy, stupid clips from One Life To Live!

I know, I know – I’ve reached a new low.

I have no idea how I ended up inside this One Life To Live YouTube black hole but it happened and I am dealing with it. Sort of. I think I might have to go back to recapping Supernatural. I might as well provide my one reader with topical snark. Although, #4 is kind of topical in the sense that I shoehorned in a Supernatural reference.


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NOT THE LAMP!!!!

In this first clip, I have no idea what these two woman are fighting about. I love how dramatically they take each slap. And I hope to hell the blonde one was wearing clip on earrings. ’cause damn. I would not sacrifice my ear lobes for no bitch. NEVER.

Hilariously, the guy saves the lamp and sort of stands there watching them. Except it’s hilarious in that it’s really, really, really AWKWARD.

I love how the Rama goes from fighting to blackmailing the lamp dude seamlessly.

From searching the web, I got an explanation (kind of) for this fight. What stood out was….

They soon found out Rama wasn’t pregnant after Robert Ford accidentally poked Rama’s water-ballooned pregnant belly.

Water balloon??? AMATEUR. (more…)

snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘Dirty Teacher’


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Dirty Teacher | Lifetime (2013) | Reading time ~5mins

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A high school senior becomes the victim of an elaborate frame-up after learning that her boyfriend is sleeping with their teacher.

You know it’s bad when a Lifetime movie plot instantly makes you think, ‘I keep reading about this fuckery in the news’. Once you can no longer question ‘Based On A True Story’ everything just goes to shit.

I’ve helpfully inserted a Youtube version of the movie below. Please don’t be fooled by the fact that it’s titled ‘Romantic Movie’ – THAT IS A LIE. Unless you’re someone who should be nowhere near a classroom.

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snarkview: 90210 (in which Liam Court was my brother from another mother and then he wasn’t).


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Well, my opening statement definitely has to be: 90210 is one of the dumbest shows I have ever seen. So, so, so very dumb. It was like watching aliens masquerading as pretty people for five seasons. The show is supposedly set on Earth, but you just have to wonder if the characters are living in a reality where the laws of logic simply don’t apply.

This show (and actually the entire franchise) is, as Google can attest, not very diverse. The CW casting policy appears to be vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

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I’m just sayin’. (more…)

This Means War (2012)


I watched this movie again recently and I was kind of bemused at how terrible it is. It should probably be called This Means Catfish. Or This Is Creepy. I don’t know. I only watched it for Tom Hardy because this is the one movie where he’s not bulked up to the high heavens and speaking in an awful accent (I’ve gotta keep it real with you, Tom).

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And the results are in!


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People actually voted, which is cool. Thanks! I have some results to present in the form of a gold cupcake that I uh, borrowed from Google Images. Please don’t sue me, oh great creator of this cupcake.

*drumroll*

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