HUMOR

Bad Moviethon #20 – John Tucker Must Die 


(note: just realised that I owe a few people replies on the last supernatural post – I’ll get to it!…eventually…)

#20

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

Rotten Score: 26%

Synopsis:

After discovering they are all dating the same same guy (Jesse Metcalfe), three popular students from different cliques band together for revenge, so they enlist the help of a new gal in town and conspire to break the jerk’s heart, while destroying his reputation.

This is basically the ultimate fuckboi movie. 

John Tucker is the quintessential high school quarterback hot stud douche. All the girls love him, all the guys want to be him. Everyone’s existence is dependent on him somehow. 

Somehow, a new girl swans into town and immediately identities John Tucker as a effboy because her mom has dated a long line of effboys (hence why they keep moving lollllll). 

Coincidentally, New Girl happens to work at a restaurant for five minutes and determines that John Tucker has three girlfriends. She also manages to get herself in detention with those three girls and the nasty truth is revealed. 

To make things worse, John Tucker dumps all of them with the same speech. 

New girl then helps them concoct their ultimate revenge plan – destroy his rep and when that fails, make John Tucker fall in love and then cruelly reveal it was all a trick. 

The new girl is basically one huge deux ex machina. She even sets the pace for her own happy ending by crushing on John Tucker’s brother early on. By the way, no one thought it was weird to make the other love interest the biological sibling of the main antagonist? 

Oh and no one thought that Penn Badgely’s hair was a huge no-no? 

Well. 

Actually, it was kind of cute. 

Anyway, after some hilarious hijinks in which John Tucker remains unbothered and unscathed, the movie ends up with him…remaining unbothered and unscathed. 

Yeah, he literally goes back to his fuckboi ways and everyone is like, ‘LOL, THAT GUY IS SOMETHING ELSE!’. He’s literally openly dating multiple people at the end of the film. 

The moral of the story seemed to be… you can’t con a conman because they have no moral compass?

Sadly, that’s true. However, this is movie. It was supposed to deliver me a dead John Tucker, but it didn’t and I am deeply disappointed. 

That being said, I think this movie warrants a 50% at least. 

It was entertaining and endearingly stupid and there was no noticeably bad acting. The soundtrack was cool, too. 

Verdict: 5/10

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Bad Moviethon #4: The Perfect Match


(POTENTIALLY)

BAD MOVIE MARATHON #4

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

[Previous movie]

The Perfect Match | 2016 | imdb

Summary: A playboy named Charlie, convinced that all his relationships are dead, meets the beautiful and mysterious Eva. Agreeing to a casual affair, Charlie then wants a bit more from their relationship. (more…)

The Girl That Hates Everything | intro


So, it has come to my attention that not liking things that other people like means that I hate everything. Or that talking about what I don’t like means that I hate everything. I know that I don’t hate everything and I actually don’t like being known as the person that hates everything. I’m quirky and weird, dammit. I listen to 90s music. That is a sure sign that I love everything.

Well…maybe that’s a slight exaggeration.

Anyway, I’ve decided that the best way to figure this shit out is to interview myself, so here goes nothing.  (more…)

snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘Widow On The Hill’


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Widow On The Hill | Lifetime (2005)

A sexy young hospice nurse (Natasha Henstridge), is hired by a wealthy man (James Brolin) to care for his sick wife who eventually dies. When the nurse becomes the widower’s new bride and then he dies suspiciously leaving his vast fortune to the new Mrs., his daughter becomes convinced that her gold-digging stepmother is up to no good and could be a murderess.


I think I might just spend the rest of my life snarking about Lifetime movies. They are the gift that keep on giving. I came across this by accident. Someone was so outraged by it that I had to just check it out, lol.

The movie starts with an interview of a woman called Linda. She’s been charged with the murder of her husband and – despite the presence of her lawyer – has agreed to do this interview. Sounds legit.

screenshot-2016-09-25-02-11-22

We cut back to some point before she became rich and got a tiny dog (it’s always a tiny dog) and she tells us that five years ago she was on her 3rd husband. Oh dear. I can tell that this is going to be good. Anyway, hubs number three leaves her and she finds herself staring at this house on a hill. She puts herself through nursing school and shows up to care for wife of the man who owns said house. CONVENIENT. The daughter Jenny is home from school, ’cause the movie needs a main character that’s young enough to remain alive. The daughter is immediately suspicious of the nurse, because she’s young and hot and y’know, not dying.

(more…)

A day in the life of….supernatural snark


I was going to write a completely nonsensical and probably irrelevant step by step of how I recap. Mostly because I need to critique myself and figure out how to make them shorter (and I didn’t want to use this time to actually watch an episode). However,  I couldn’t be bothered. So I spent twice as much time as I would have writing that making a comic strip version of my watch/recap process.

disappointed___gif__by_themischiefmonster-d7ej23k

I am currently questioning my life choices.

Anyway, click ‘read the rest of this post/continue/read more/whatever the hell it says’ to see the comic strip 😛 (more…)

stupid and senseless: the fraud chronicles


Yes, Jared Padalecki is at it again. This time he’s put his role as an Airline Justice Warrior aside and is taking on Verizon for alerting him to the fact that someone opened a fraudulent account under his name and suggesting that he alert the authorities. How dare they?! (more…)

Let me tell you about my day.


Or well, let me bitch about my day, because we all know that’s the only reason why I’d be talking about my day. I have an entire blog dedicated to a show that I kind of hate – my life is clearly not that exciting.

My alarm went off at 5.30am. That was already a bad start to the day.

(more…)

Christian Bale’s Reverse Lozenges


I love how the Supernatural fans are happy that their faves are in this video, lol. I suppose they didn’t get the ‘growling instead of acting part’. Haha. Thanks to JoJo for telling me about this! It is hilarious.

Posted from WordPress for Android

So yeah….


 

I’m just kidding.

No though, I probably won’t be posting until the next episode is on which is like October or  something.

I have nothing to comment on really.

Jared was in some hilariously awful music video

Most of the spoilers sound so fucking shit that I can’t be bothered to comment on them.

Jared still REALLY NEEDS A HAIRCUT.

And really lol, who is responsible for this manip? Hang yo’ head in shame bitch.

Adios.

snoredom: from someecards.com with love. or something. i’m bored.


Or well. Look forward to them. Or more bitching anyway. This whole snark thing does wonders for my blood pressure.

Contenders for worst line of the season, you ask?

“See you next season?” as quipped by the useless alpha vampire from the worst season of the show

or

That stupid shit Sam said about Megatron and transformers.  Ugh.

or

CURING CANCER by that random leviathan

or

The entire wedding episode

or 

The entire Garth episode

or..

Gah, who the fuck even cares.

Love from,

your non-silent minority!