snarkview: real housewives of vancouver | season 1, eps 10-11



Episode 10

Cocktails debrief over the incident in the previous episode. Zzzzzz. Ronnie wants them all to go away together to wine country. Oh god, can someone take the alcohol away from them? Please.

Anyway, Christina admits that she spent time with Mia. Mary is shocked. Christina reveals that Mia spent the night at her house. In fact, she hid Mia in her bedroom. She implies that they slept together, but whatever. We never get any clarification. Mary is upset and Christina realises that maybe she shouldn’t have told her. Someone give her a medal.

Reiko is upset that Jody is trying to make her pay a merchant’s fee. Even Reiko’s drama is boring.

Next, they’re on their way to Okanagan, which Wikipedia tells me is known for its wineries. Sigh. The jokes write themselves at this point. Reiko is suddenly questioning her friendship with Jody. This is classic RH picking a side.

Jhordan is in Okanagan just to provide us with some sanity. Poor guy. Doesn’t he have any age appropriate friends? Why is he always hanging out with his mom and her tipsy friends? #FreeJhordan

I guess the producers tell Ronnie to play a game, because there’s something about saying nice things about the person across from you.

Obviously, Mary and Jody are seated across from each other. They manage to utter some niceties about each other. I am surprised that Jody didn’t erupt into a ball of fire.

Anyway, somehow Christina reveals that Mia spent the night at her place (again) and Jody is unimpressed. In better news, Jody finally extracts a fake apology from Mary.

I suppose wine is the cure. For now.

Episode 11

Mary and Ronnie discuss Jody. Again.

Boring Reiko is throwing a Bollywood themed party for her husband. Elephants may be involved. Oh and it costs $80,000. And she’s going to do a dance. Considering that he’s paying 80k for his own party, she might as well. It’s not like she has anything better to do.

Jody meets with Christina to find out what happened with Mia. Christina says that Mia slept over. One wonders why Christina keeps spreading this. And why Mia wasn’t smarter, but whatever, alcohol was involved.

Jody: I don’t think that they slept.

Jody is disgusted and disappointed. Eh, what’s new. LOL.

Meanwhile, Mary is recording her song. I remember liking the song but her session starts off terribly. In the end, she pulls it together. Mary can saaaang, y’all. For some reason, all I think of when I see Mary is

JODY, THESE ARE MY REAL CHEEKS!

Jody instructs Mia to come over and she’s wearing her ‘kimono of truth‘. Oh dear. I don’t think she gets the truth. She might want to buy another kimono.

Meanwhile, Jody has hired a food stylist for her cookbook photoshoot.

A food stylist? That’s a thing? Where do I sign up? I can style food. Sort of. Not really. Anyway.

At the party, everyone is having fun. Jody throws some subtle shade and says that Bollywood parties were very in 10-15 years ago. Meanwhile, Jody and Reiko are waiting for apologies from each other. Neither of them get one.

Jody finally manages to flag down Ronnie and she starts bitching about Mary. Again. Meanwhile, Mary is upset that Ronnie is talking to Jody…ugh.

The only decent thing about this episode is the cute poker player helper guys. I don’t know if that’s some kind of rich thing, but anyway. I don’t even know how they got to that poker room. When Jody enters, they all leave. Considering that they’ve been accusing Jody of bullying that was along the same bus route, but okay.

Ronnie ends up hanging out with Jody and Mia and Mary is jealous. Yaaaaawn.

They all decide to go and then somehow Ronnie becomes part of a bizarre tug-of-war and Mary and Jody race to collect her so they can leave. Mary wins.

Yaaaawn.

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