whole lotta fuck no

We’re waiting for a train


…and it just won’t come.

Even though we all knew it would happen, season 13 is officially a go. WOOOOOOO!!!!! And many more charity campaigns will be on the way too, I’m sure. Congratulation$, fandom.

I’ve lost interest in drumming up any outrage over this show, so I’ll leave any willing takers to do so on my behalf.

Or not.

At this point, we all have better things to be doing!

snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘Widow On The Hill’


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Widow On The Hill | Lifetime (2005)

A sexy young hospice nurse (Natasha Henstridge), is hired by a wealthy man (James Brolin) to care for his sick wife who eventually dies. When the nurse becomes the widower’s new bride and then he dies suspiciously leaving his vast fortune to the new Mrs., his daughter becomes convinced that her gold-digging stepmother is up to no good and could be a murderess.


I think I might just spend the rest of my life snarking about Lifetime movies. They are the gift that keep on giving. I came across this by accident. Someone was so outraged by it that I had to just check it out, lol.

The movie starts with an interview of a woman called Linda. She’s been charged with the murder of her husband and – despite the presence of her lawyer – has agreed to do this interview. Sounds legit.

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We cut back to some point before she became rich and got a tiny dog (it’s always a tiny dog) and she tells us that five years ago she was on her 3rd husband. Oh dear. I can tell that this is going to be good. Anyway, hubs number three leaves her and she finds herself staring at this house on a hill. She puts herself through nursing school and shows up to care for wife of the man who owns said house. CONVENIENT. The daughter Jenny is home from school, ’cause the movie needs a main character that’s young enough to remain alive. The daughter is immediately suspicious of the nurse, because she’s young and hot and y’know, not dying.

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snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘A Deadly Adoption’


A Deadly Adoption | Lifetime (2015)

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A distanced couple decide to take in a seemingly innocent pregnant woman in hopes of adopting her unborn child. However, there is more to a book than its cover.


I love a good Lifetime movie. They always tend to follow a similar pattern. There’s a husband of good social standing; a wife who’s either a nag or as interesting as cardboard. There’s a young heathen, who inevitably ends up dead or jailed, who tempts the husband and usually gets a little clingy. The husband has a huge revelation and realises that he loves the wife because she’s sane. The wife also gets to prove that she’s strong by (usually) taking down the young heathen. And then husband and wife live happily ever after!
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stupid and senseless: part infinity – Jared Padalecki is a human being that ‘breathes oxygen’


STUPID & SENSELESS: PART INFINITY!!!!!

Last updated: 18th Aug ’16

(ETA: he’s done it again)

FINALLY, an edition about the man that started it all! We knew it was coming and here it is. I would first like to announce that, not only is Jared a human being that breathes oxygen, he’s also a superhero:

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LOL. Someone posted this on the ONTD post and I laughed myself SILLY. No wonder this dude has a complex.

Anyway!

In today’s edition, a server in Minnesota was extremely mean to Jared and apparently ruined his entire night, month, life, bad hair day, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving as well as his entire adult life. So in response, he publicly blasted her on Facebook, posted her picture and was unapologetic about it. In fact, an unedited version of the post is still up (or it was last time I checked)

ETA: He apparently removed the post and had this to say (after the fact of course):

In regards to my recent post, please please PLEASE do not send ill-will in anybody’s direction. I felt it necessary to voice my opinion, as I have made a promise to myself that I will not let somebody mistreat me just to swallow it, as if I “deserve” it. It’s a promise I hope y’all can make to yourselves as well. But it’s in the past now. And I sincerely hope everybody involved will be better for it. Please, for the love of Chuck, don’t send any hatred or ill-will in their direction. That is the exact OPPOSITE of what I want.

He’s still a tool and it was EXACTLY what he wanted.

ETA 2: Oh, wow. Apparently lawyers are involved now. He’s really messed up badly this time. SMH. More & the original post under the cut.

ETA 3: The person that Jared initially responded to has graciously allowed me to add their (now deleted) comment to this post. It can be found below.

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I would like to congratulate all cyclists


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I would like to congratulate all cyclists for being cyclists.

Well done. You can ride a contraption with two wheels. You’re doing your bit for the environment. You’re getting some exercise; getting some smog filled/fresh air depending on where you live. Well done!

That being said, some cyclists are the most annoying people that I’m faced with when venturing out. The number of times I’ve almost been hit by a cyclist is ridiculous. It’s as if they expect special treatment while being completely ridiculous at any given location at any given time. I’ve seen cyclists with headphones on, cyclists on the phone, cyclists texting, cyclists doing wheelies in the middle of very busy streets. Taking selfies! The most irritating thing though, is when cyclists run red lights with pedestrian crossings attached to them. Especially the ones with a junction in the middle, linking traffic from four different directions. By the time the lights are green, I’ve been waiting to cross the road for five fucking minutes – longer in some cases. Given that these days, you almost need to be Usain Bolt to make it across before the light goes back to red, the last thing I need to do is to be dodging cyclists and making sure they I’m not knocked over in the middle of the street. If it’s in the city, this all happens before the damn buses get the green light to go. On one hand, fine, they’re trying to get out ahead of the rest of the traffic and I guess dodging people is less dangerous than dodging cars but on the other hand, those other vehicles will catch up with them anyway. Waiting five seconds won’t hurt.

Road rage is also a thing with cyclists. If they don’t hate drivers, then they hate pedestrians. Nothing irritates me more than joint pedestrian/cyclist pathways because to them, it’s either their own irrelevant Tour de France, or in the case of the slow cyclists, Snore de France. I’ve had cyclists give me dirty looks and swear at me for having the temerity to exist. I get the sense that some of them just wake up angry and are too stupid to realise that they can just swerve around people. That’s what the steering handles are for. No one is going to stop in the middle of the street and give way to a cyclist that has just sped around the corner. Huffing and puffing won’t lead to wheels sprouting under people’s feet. I’m going to keep walking at my own pace, thanks.

And then you have the Lycra wearing cyclist who treats every venture outside like it’s a competition. They are the worst. If I saw someone I knew wearing Lycra and cycling, they would instantly cease to exist to me. I saw one recently who called a driver a c**t, for…driving past before he could run a red light? It was so bizarre to me. And then I noticed the Lycra and I knew that crazy had just cycled past me.

Anyway, I’m guessing that it will get worse. Soon you’ll have cycle lanes in stores whizzing past as you’re trying to find a loaf of bread that doesn’t expire tomorrow because no one has the time to eat 22 damn slices in one day!. There will be express express queues. Oh, I can’t wait.

Congratulations, cyclists! You deserve it.

Film Reviews: ‘Edge Of Winter’, ‘Pacific Rim’ & ‘The Boy Next Door’


I don’t know why every movie I end up seeing is pants, but well. Apparently I am drawn to pants.
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UnREAL (Lifetime)


 

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Unsurprisingly, the first I heard of UnReal was when I saw that it was on Amazon. With ten episodes in its first season, I figured that it would be the perfect antidote to my Sons of Anarchy marathon, which was a nightmare in itself.

This show, though. I feel like everyone likes it because everyone else likes it. I’d watched 4/5 episodes before I saw any reviews and my reaction was, ‘whaa’. It has a 98% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. The critics have spoken!

It started off well but then I realised it was just another show about terrible people doing terrible things, and oh look, something sad happens and…they go back to being terrible. The aspect that intrigues people is probably the whole Bachelor (which I’ve never watched) scenario. However, the show mainly focuses on the nasty shit the producers do and acts like some kind of expose. The showrunner apparently worked on The Bachelor, so I guess she’s in her element here. However, is it really an expose when anyone with some common sense knew exactly how much the producers manipulated things? It’s not rocket science.

Either way, I’ll probably continue to watch the show because of Michael Rady. I’m weak. I’ve also seen some interesting commentary on the second season, so…watch this space.

Sons of Bromanarchy


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Sons of Anarchy ¦ FX

A man in his early 30s struggles to find a balance in his life between being a new dad and his involvement in a motorcycle club.

Well. This will go down as another show that didn’t live up to the hype. Not even during some of the earlier seasons. I can only hope that this show was just less idiotic when watched on a weekly basis. I’m not the best binge watcher, so it has taken me about 3 weeks to get through the first six seasons. Right now I’m on season 7. Imagine my shock when I saw that the first episode’s run time was 1 hr 15 minutes. Marilyn Manson showed up as a prisoner. And Courtney Love as a preschool teacher. Goodness. There has been a lot of fast forwarding to say the least. (more…)

I’m pleased to announce that SPN fans are still pleasant individuals…


Or not, because what I’m announcing is the opposite.

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So, I was checking my emails from YouTube the other day – I do so every now and then because I have it filtered on account due to too many annoying notifications. I have a couple of clips from Supernatural uploaded, typically clips from or before season 3 and they tend to get more comments than any of my amazing videos that I took the time to put together for no real reason at all. My most popular video is one set to a Nickelback song with awful audio because I used Audacity to cut the song and screwed up somehow. It’s kind of fitting.

To get to the story, what happened was that I saw that someone had left a comment on one of these videos – something along the lines of, ‘[Name], shut the fuck up’ and I went onto the video page and was confused. I don’t really read the comments because…they’re all the same shit and it’s been, what…eight years? So I replied with a simple ‘??’ – perhaps I could actually asked a question but, ain’t nobody got time for that. They hit me back and told me to shut the fuck up too! I thought it was hilarious. I pointed out that I was genuinely wondering why they had just randomly told someone to shut the fuck up (without responding to them – hence why I even bothered replying) and their response was ‘Oh, I thought you had the same opinion. My bad’? (more…)

I am officially ashamed of my country.


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stolen from Google

 

I am officially ashamed of my country – if I can call it that.

Before yesterday, I was one of those people who had never voted before. If you tell people that you didn’t vote, depending on who you are, you might get an earful. People will tell you that your vote could be the difference and what not, but in some ways, all it does is make you complicit when the vote is read out. The same way that not voting does. Yesterday, I felt as if I finally had to make a stand (for my own benefit if anything). It helped that I wasn’t voting for a particular party. As I write this Labour – who I’d probably vote for – are unravelling rapidly. The result largely came about due to their lapses.

Anyway. Another reason why I’ve never bothered is that in a lot of the developed world at least, there is an increasingly ageing population. There are more over 60s than anyone else. There are so many of them that what they want is what we end up with. Apparently, they run this bitch now. America – watch out. The silver-haired people will fuck you all over and stab you in the front. That’s exactly what has happened in the UK. The UK has just held a referendum on whether or not it leaves the EU (European Union). So basically, we all voted either to ‘Leave’ or ‘Remain’. Leave won. That is to say, the people who have used every dirty, racist, xenophobic trick in the book have won.

I could not be more disgusted. (more…)