i don’t even know

We’re waiting for a train


…and it just won’t come.

Even though we all knew it would happen, season 13 is officially a go. WOOOOOOO!!!!! And many more charity campaigns will be on the way too, I’m sure. Congratulation$, fandom.

I’ve lost interest in drumming up any outrage over this show, so I’ll leave any willing takers to do so on my behalf.

Or not.

At this point, we all have better things to be doing!

I’m pleased to announce that SPN fans are still pleasant individuals…


Or not, because what I’m announcing is the opposite.

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So, I was checking my emails from YouTube the other day – I do so every now and then because I have it filtered on account due to too many annoying notifications. I have a couple of clips from Supernatural uploaded, typically clips from or before season 3 and they tend to get more comments than any of my amazing videos that I took the time to put together for no real reason at all. My most popular video is one set to a Nickelback song with awful audio because I used Audacity to cut the song and screwed up somehow. It’s kind of fitting.

To get to the story, what happened was that I saw that someone had left a comment on one of these videos – something along the lines of, ‘[Name], shut the fuck up’ and I went onto the video page and was confused. I don’t really read the comments because…they’re all the same shit and it’s been, what…eight years? So I replied with a simple ‘??’ – perhaps I could actually asked a question but, ain’t nobody got time for that. They hit me back and told me to shut the fuck up too! I thought it was hilarious. I pointed out that I was genuinely wondering why they had just randomly told someone to shut the fuck up (without responding to them – hence why I even bothered replying) and their response was ‘Oh, I thought you had the same opinion. My bad’? (more…)

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snarkview: The Following (all seasons)


FYI, this show clearly went downhill when they killed off Warren Kole’s character but whatever, let me get into the post. Apologies in advance for any spelling issues, types etc. It’s all Kevin Bacon’s fault. Also this is kind of LONG.

The Following’s first season centers on former FBI agent Ryan Hardy (Kevin Bacon) and his attempts to re-capture serial killer Joe Carroll (James Purefoy), following the latter’s escape from prison. Hardy soon discovers that Carroll has surrounded himself with a group of like-minded individuals, whom he met while teaching and while in prison, and turned them into a cult of fanatical killers, including his right-hand, Emma Hill (Valorie Curry). When Carroll’s son, Joey Matthews (Kyle Catlett), is abducted by his father’s followers, Agents Mike Weston (Shawn Ashmore), Debra Parker (Annie Parisse), and the rest of the FBI team discover that it is the first step in Carroll’s wider plan to escape custody, humiliate Hardy, and be reunited with his ex-wife Claire Matthews (Natalie Zea).

The first season of The Following at least had shock value. Crazy serial killer (Joe Carroll) breaks out of jail and kills more people. Crazy Serial Killer is obsessed with his own high-school level analysis of Edgar Allen Poe. YAY. TELL-TALE HEART, WHEE!!! His nemesis Kevin Bacon puts him back in jail. He breaks out again due to the cult he’s managed to build up of those weird (yeah, I said it) people who write to prisoners they have no prior affiliation with. Oh, and Crazy Serial Killer has his son kidnapped because he wants to reunite with his wife. The same wife who shacked up with Kevin Bacon. Who put him in jail. Twice. Anyway, yeah…

Season 1 was okay. At the end, Crazy Serial Killer fakes his own death by switching his DNA with his dead half-brother. Oh, and they didn’t know about the dead half-brother. Or they did? I don’t know. It wasn’t very clear.

In the middle of this there’s some bullshit love triangle. Jacob and Paul have been pretending to be gay for X number of years so they could get close to Crazy Serial Killer’s unfinished/business last victim (who was saved by Kevin Bacon). Yeah, Crazy Serial Killer is all about the long con because, you know. Poe. Anyway, somewhere along the line Jacob and Paul started smashing but like, Jacob’s not gay. And he immediately gets back with Emma (they met in prison – classic love story) when they kidnap Crazy Serial Killer’s son. Paul is jealous, Emma is annoying, Jacob spends much of the first half of the season looking as if he’s been continuously stubbing his toe for a month.

Paul is really, really, really jealous so he kidnaps a girl as retaliation…? Jacob tries to help her escape because TWIST! He hasn’t killed anyone yet, he just…didn’t want to be a doctor like his Dad wanted him to be. I suppose joining a murderous cult was better than getting a job or something. Anyway, Emma basically abandons them after a run in with Kevin Bacon and Paul gets an infection that’s deadly so Jacob smothers with him a pillow – but not until after they confess their love blah, blah. Oh, and that’s the first person he’s killed, so. Yay for him. It added zero to the plot. Emma kills Jacob after he asks her to run away with him. If only he knew that Emma basically wants to be Mrs Crazy Serial Killer.

This show is a blatant abuser of the bad guy monologue. In between Crazy Serial Killer’s long rambling monologues and Kevin Bacon running after people and not collapsing every five minutes due to his alcoholism/pacemaker combo, there were at least four episodes worth of irrelevant conversation. I honestly exercised my yelling STFU/EYE ROLL combo many, many times. All you need to know is that Crazy Serial Killer is obsessed with Kevin Bacon. And Kevin Bacon is obsessed with him. Yawn.

 

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and you could have it all

 

There was also someone called Roderick, who was Crazy Serial Killer’s wingman and sent up a nice mansion for all of Crazy Serial Killer’s fan club. He was a sheriff who made the stupid mistake of beating up Weston, an agent working with Kevin Bacon, and apparently not realising that someone could…recognise his voice. For someone who was supposed to be so smart, it was pretty stupid. He dies.

Anyway.  After a completely ridiculous series finale, they think Crazy Serial Killer is dead and then….

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I am officially no longer a fan of anything*


This is kind of a response to this: Vision. Fans all have different visions etc. Yeah. Anyway. Rant incoming.

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*Well, except for Manchester United, Chris Hemsworth, certain boybands and Simon Baker. And Tom Hardy on the days when he doesn’t annoy the shit out of me (I am pretty sure most of what he says is just pseudo-babble).

Anyway, for the sake of this post I will mostly refer to football/soccer fans because they’ve really captured my disdain for ‘fans’. At least with SPN, there’s the ‘these people have [insert adjective] fantasies about [insert annoying person affiliated with SPN]’ aspect. It’s stupid but whatever. They’re gullible consumers and whatnot.

Either way, sports fans don’t really have that excuse. Man-crushes don’t count.

Anyway, I used to read the Guardian for sports comments. Basically, I’m the kind of football fan that spends two hours POSTING IN CAPS on Twitter and after that, I go into lurk mode. I stopped reading the Guardian Sports section because it was just full of silly opinion pieces in which the writers would argue against points that they had been writing about for weeks. There was also an aggressive campaign to get a manager fired which was distasteful. In the end, the amount of rage said manager (of my team, no less!) generated was hilarious to me (well, not during matches). They also have this annoying habit of not linking sources. I get it, they have a business to run but it is kind of frustrating to read an article that assumes the readers knows what the fuck they’re talking about it despite providing no information. They do it a lot and I am over it.

So I started using r/soccer, which is basically the subreddit for everything soccer related. I actually started off at the sub for my team but it was very all late teens/early males’ ish and kind of hilariously bad so I switched to r/soccer.

It’s even worse. (more…)

Jared Padalecki and the evil golden arches


If you’re on a phone, you can see the video: here

So, let’s do a checklist (as opposed to receiving a check for eating McD’s. Sigh):

  • Using the kids as part of his Big Mac Pimpin’ – CHECK
  • Adequate information about whatever the hell he’s promoting? – NOPE
  • Adequate information about himself? – YEP!
  • Statement implying that he’s not just doing this for the money? CHECK. He owns his own business, y’all. I’m not hating on that, I just wouldn’t have put it in the clip if I wanted people to really go out and sample this All Day Breakfast thing, which doesn’t sound healthy but…
  • Some sort of clip hinting that with the right amount of exercise, we can all eat McDonald’s All Day menu and end up with chiseled abs and an excessive amount of beanies. – CHECK.
  • Another inexplicable explanation about how he flies back and forth by his own choosing – CHECK.

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stupid and senseless: november round up edition


1. Jared Ponzilecki

https://www.instagram.com/p/-g8IAjycYr/

Need I say more? This big-headed buffoon probably answers to Padajesus. *eye roll*

ETA: The instagram link originally led to a post in which Jared posted some kind of manip of him as Jesus and basically LOL’d all over it and stated the [his] head was too big (the irony) instead of saying his prayers and moving past it swiftly. If anyone has a screencap please let me know! The one time I don’t take screenshots Rapunzelecki goes ahead and deletes the post! Ay dios mio! 

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This gif seems fitting both for this point and the rest of the post. Sigh.

(more…)

Music Monday #1


I thought about making a separate post but there’s nothing I have to say that hasn’t already been said, in a more eloquent way, so I will just post a brief message below this point.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those in Paris, Beirut, Nigeria, those poor students at the University of Missouri and anywhere else where bad shit happened. I wish we could all just get along. One Love, y’all.

In true padadeuche fashion, Jared managed to tweet ‘#friday13th’ in the middle of everything that was happening. Sigh. I have a post on his bs saved in my drafts but I don’t think today is the right day for it.


I have decided to share my guilty pleasure songs with my loyal reader(s) every Monday. Or whenever. I have no idea what day it is. Actually, most of what I listen to these days are guilty pleasures and I will own it! I need my hype playlists. Especially in light of recent events.

I have three songs for you all today.

Ray J ft Bobby Brackin – I Hit It First

This song…speaks for itself. It’s just so hilarious to me. It has everything – catchy beat, silly but catchy lyrics, the rhyming of ‘function’ with ‘something’, a completely moronic video and some kind of low budget Lil Wayne clone. Perfect.


Blue – One Love

This song also speaks for itself.


Corbin Bleu – Push It To The Limit

This video is terrible but whatever. This song is EVERYTHING. I dare anyone to tell me otherwise.

Does anyone else have any cheesy, silly songs they listen to every day once in a while? 😛

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GOTHAM: 2×06, that girl is on fire


…yes, my title is from that Alicia Keys song about the girl with some kind of rash.

SNAK

previously: theo burned some shit to the ground and some chick called firefly killed some cop with a flamethrower and all kinds of hell broke loose. butch had his hand chopped off. (more…)

stupid and senseless: once a douchebag, always a ‘deuchebag’.


First things first…

I made that as a joke, but it’s now a very pleasant viewing experience. 😀

This isn’t really a specific post but more a round up of Jared’s douchey ways.

  • Talking about accidentally hurting his kid at cons. WHY? I really don’t understand. They’re not cute stories, or ‘lulz, aw, what a shame’, they’re just ridiculous. I think the general gist was:

I put my sons head through the wall

OKAY? AND? SHUT THE FUUUUUUCK UP.

wtf2 (more…)