supernatural snark

FRIENDSHIP SNARK


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featured image credit: x

Yes, nothing is off limits. As you all know, I hate everything except for the Backstreet Boys. Anyway, friends are great. We all need them. To laugh with. Cry with. Do other boring bullshit with. But some of them are just annoying as fuck. Including me. I pity my friends every day. I am THE WORST. (more…)

chicago fire: 4×01, jeremy from tvd lives on


My favourite soapy TV drama has returned for another year! (I’m three weeks late but whatever).

So last season, Dawson was pregnant but !!!! she found a dead body in baby daddy’s (Casey) apartment.

I love this show.

That’s all wrapped up in the first five minutes. Casey’s fine and the police catch the bad guys. Oh, but I guess we’re getting flashbacks. Sweet.

The dead body left behind a notebook exposing some seeding people smuggling ring so they’re also looking for that.

FRED LEHNE IS HERE? EW. But anyway, yeah, he’s here to do a employee check or something. They strip Severide (Lady Gaga’s boyfriend) of his rank and replace him with some dude called Texas or Dallas or something. WELP. They can’t just do Severide like that! Rude.

Casey says he’s fine, but he’s not fine. Dawson is doing that staring-into-space-thing characters do to show they have a lot on their mind.

Oh boy….there’s a new candidate for the firehouse and it’s a naked and taped up Jeremy from TVD. Jeremy stays losin’, y’all. His name is Jimmy but I will call him Jeremy. He gets his ass fired. But not before he makes eyes at one of the paramedics. SIGH.

Texas brings pizza and they’re all like, ‘Severide can we eat or nah?’ Severide takes a bite and then bounces. What a waste! LOL. Welp. Guess they’ll be beefing this season.

Later, Casey realises that the bad dude probably already has dead body’s notebook.

Jeremy from TVD comes back at the end of the episode and begs for his job back and he GETS IT! Jeremy from TVD wins at last!

Texas is all like, ‘Well, Severide doesn’t like me and skipped my boat party, but that’s his problem.” Alright, dude.

Btw, pregnant!Dawson’s ass shouldn’t be ANYWHERE near fires but I saw her up in there evacuating some old dude! Teratogens, girl. Look it up.

Molly’s (the bar that some of the firefighters co-own) has some new neighbours and they come to complain about the noise. Uh…they moved next to a bar? It was a bar before they moved in! Whaaat. LOL.

Meanwhile, Severide is on his 38939303th love interest since the show started. Oh, and he’s decided to quit Firehouse 51.

EYE ROLL.

The baby that the paramedics helped bring to life survives, yay! They made sure to give the dude from Chicago Med some screen time, ’cause you know, NEW SHOW STARTING THIS NOVEMBER. These spin-offs exhaust me.

At the end, Casey’s all like, ‘Dawson, I love you, let’s get back together blah, blah, blah” and she blurts out that she’s pregnant.

UGH. I cannot stand those two. Anyway.

It ends on that lovely note.

A day in the life of….supernatural snark


I was going to write a completely nonsensical and probably irrelevant step by step of how I recap. Mostly because I need to critique myself and figure out how to make them shorter (and I didn’t want to use this time to actually watch an episode). However,  I couldn’t be bothered. So I spent twice as much time as I would have writing that making a comic strip version of my watch/recap process.

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I am currently questioning my life choices.

Anyway, click ‘read the rest of this post/continue/read more/whatever the hell it says’ to see the comic strip 😛 (more…)

Automatic hand dryer adventures, Empire and One Big Happy (plus an update on the recaps)


Some don’t work. Some require you to do some sort of inverted, jazz hands for at least thirty seconds before they come on (at which point you’re already frustrated and about to leave and then you have to wait for another thirty seconds now that you know that it is actually working), and some are just kind of crazy. Every time I use one of the exuberant hand dryers I forget what it was like the previous time and ending reacting like this:

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(Jared’s padanormous turbo charged nostril flare would probably cause the same reaction. :P)


Empire

Empire isn’t really my kind of show. I have an aversion to anything where people break out into songs, usually because I have a very bad attention span and it startles me LOL. I actually do really like the show though. Which is surprising given all the hype surrounding it! The only reason I even watched it now is because I had no internet so I was stuck with nothing to watch and I happened to have the first few episodes on hand. I might post a longer post on it later but if you’re thinking of checking it out, it’s pretty good.

One Big Happy

I know that I wrote a whole post on how terrible this show is but the following two episodes have been a lot better. It’s actually kind of funny in a quirky, offbeat kind of way. I’m still not feeling Nick Zano’s hair though. 😛

Recaps

I still haven’t watched an episode past the last one I did (the musical episode) and that won’t change for a while. At this point, I’d say there’s a 70/30 chance that I’ll do some episodes over the summer hiatus or just skip straight to the finale or something. I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone without watching the show, which is either awesome or sad, I haven’t really thought about it much, lol. I certainly don’t miss being visually and aurally assaulted by Sam’s haircut and Dean’s addiction to gravel. If all else fails, I will snark about the final *sniff but yay* season of The Mentalist (which I also can’t quite bring myself to watch just yet. Mon dieu!).

snarkview: 10×02, esca(k)e to sandwi(t)ch mountain


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Quick note: natewinchester is posting his remixes here this season (because I’m probably going to do a vanishing act at some point!) so be sure to check them out 🙂 [10×01 | 10×02]


Considering that last season I watched the first episode and then skipped the next nine or so, I have no idea why I’m watching this one. Probably because they managed to keep Bobby out of the episode.

Anyway, yesterday I got caught up in a Cristiano Ronaldo inspired Youtube black hole. And I came across this video, specifically the 3:55 mark. I was amazed. Not by the free kick but by the commentary. I don’t know who he is but I am inspired. Usually when commentators lose their shit over a goal it’s just unintelligible noise but for this guy, it was a dream. And not just any dream.

“This is not just a dream, it’s a wet dream of orgasmic proportions!” 

Once he had time to regain his composure, he turned his attention to the replays and remarked: “This has got more curves to it than Jessica Rabbit on steroids!” 

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I can only imagine how he’d describe Sam’s hair. Probably something  along the lines of, ‘An oil drenched wanton hairball that spreads in a Japanese fan-esque semi-circular arched wave‘.

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This week’s ramble.


I’m just going to freestyle here and I’m challenging myself not to curse. It’s amazing how those sneak in here. During the recaps it is understandable but I just drop f-bombs like they’re hot these days! So you get a new me. For one post. On a trial basis.

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Christian Bale’s Reverse Lozenges


I love how the Supernatural fans are happy that their faves are in this video, lol. I suppose they didn’t get the ‘growling instead of acting part’. Haha. Thanks to JoJo for telling me about this! It is hilarious.

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