Anyway…onto the episode… Continue reading “snarkview: 10×07, no strings attached”
Episode title: CAPTIVES
What it should have been called: How Not To Captivate An Audience.
You know what I never noticed before? How disgusting the title card is? IT MAKES MY BRAIN ITCH.
Previously: I assume that Sam and Dean felt this way about each other (I know that Sam most certainly has this on his iPod).
Now that you’re out of my life, so much better. You thought that I’d be weak without you. But I’m stronger. You thought that I’d be broke without you. But I’m richer. You thought that I’d be sad without you. I laugh harder. You thought I wouldn’t grow without you. Now I’m wiser. Though that I’d be helpless without you. But I’m smarter. You thought that I’d be stressed without you. But I’m chillin’. You thought I wouldn’t sell without you. Sold 9 million.
They’re survivors, guys. They’re not gon’ give up.
Or well, in this case ‘sell’ would be ‘kill’ and they’re probably way too incompetent to kill 9 million demons, bad guys, inhuman nieces/nephews/ex-girlfriends. Oh well.
On Almost Human last night, the plot was smarthomes (I am surprised that they weren’t called iHouses) turning on their owners and killing them. The whole point was that the smarthouse provided extra security (in the form of a security guard with Cruella-de-Ville-esque hair – which would scare the fuck out of me, so I guess that makes sense). But the way it did this was very odd. Intruders were shot by a lasers. How many stray dogs would my smarthouse kill? Though I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog on Almost Human, so possibly they all have RoboPets in 2048? Anyway, seeing has how all technology can be hacked, it would be pretty stupid to have smarthouse when the guy who you called an asshole could pay some hacker $100 (or whatever hackers going rates are) to basically end your life in a few seconds. Why not going for a smartweapon? Huh? Like, say the smartbat. Or smartremote. Or hell, smartfrontlawn/smartgarden – the bad guys wouldn’t even make it in. I’m sure a smarthouse does all kinds of other stuff but surely companies would make more money through creating all kinds of smartshit. Smartbricks, smartchair. Smarttoilet. And then combine them all together and call it a SuperSmartHouse?
Smartness aside, the episode was great.
Anyway. I really wish that Sam and Dean’s house had smarthouse that would inevitably turn on them and kill them. But no, instead Supernatural’s been renewed for a 10th season.
The best time to quit a show is either right after a season premiere – “I’ll catch up later”, and then you NEVER DO – or, right before the finale because you can pretend that they didn’t fuck everything up beyond repair. Unfortunately when every episode of Supernatural is a lesson on How To Fuck Up The Show Even More, knowing when to quit is impossible. DO I QUIT TO SAVE MYSELF? OR DO I CONTINUE SO I CAN MOCK THESE PEOPLE AND CALL THEM STUPID JUST TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER.
We all know what choice I’m going with. I’m still half-quitting though. Ahem.
Anyway, finally watching the finale! Better late than…watching it at all, but I’m dense, you all know that. I’m a danger to myself.
What This Episode Was Called: Sacrifice
What It Should Have Been Called: The One Where The Writers Exceed All Previous Attempts At Ineptitude
I haven’t even attempted to watch an episode since the last one I saw…but I’m going to try and finish the season and get it out of the way. There’ll probably be something up by Friday. I don’t know if I’m going to do any of the ones I haven’t watched, is there any point? I do want to watch them though just to have it out of the way, and also because I have a few downloaded because I’m stupid.
I have no idea if I’m doing season 9. Ideally, I’ll be watching…but I’m extremely out of the loop right now and there’s a good chance that I’ll just forget that Supernatural exists between now and whenever the hell it airs. LOL.
Anyway…..ANOTHER SHITFEST OF A SEASON IS OVER! Rejoice with Carlton, people.