And I haven’t done a recap or watched the show for about a month. Oh well. Apparently the show’s improved blah, blah, blah. People say this every year when the show starts off with five shitty episodes and then reaches such a particularly woeful level of shit that takes it takes another five episodes for them to realise that it didn’t get better, it was just slightly less shit than the REALLY SHITTY episode that preceded the ‘good’ episodes. I’ve got fandom’s number. And my armchair psychology diploma. I see everything.
Episode title: CAPTIVES
What it should have been called: How Not To Captivate An Audience.
You know what I never noticed before? How disgusting the title card is? IT MAKES MY BRAIN ITCH.
Previously: I assume that Sam and Dean felt this way about each other (I know that Sam most certainly has this on his iPod).
Now that you’re out of my life, so much better. You thought that I’d be weak without you. But I’m stronger. You thought that I’d be broke without you. But I’m richer. You thought that I’d be sad without you. I laugh harder. You thought I wouldn’t grow without you. Now I’m wiser. Though that I’d be helpless without you. But I’m smarter. You thought that I’d be stressed without you. But I’m chillin’. You thought I wouldn’t sell without you. Sold 9 million.
They’re survivors, guys. They’re not gon’ give up.
Or well, in this case ‘sell’ would be ‘kill’ and they’re probably way too incompetent to kill 9 million demons, bad guys, inhuman nieces/nephews/ex-girlfriends. Oh well.
The best time to quit a show is either right after a season premiere – “I’ll catch up later”, and then you NEVER DO – or, right before the finale because you can pretend that they didn’t fuck everything up beyond repair. Unfortunately when every episode of Supernatural is a lesson on How To Fuck Up The Show Even More, knowing when to quit is impossible. DO I QUIT TO SAVE MYSELF? OR DO I CONTINUE SO I CAN MOCK THESE PEOPLE AND CALL THEM STUPID JUST TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER.
We all know what choice I’m going with. I’m still half-quitting though. Ahem.
Anyway, finally watching the finale! Better late than…watching it at all, but I’m dense, you all know that. I’m a danger to myself.
What This Episode Was Called: Sacrifice
What It Should Have Been Called: The One Where The Writers Exceed All Previous Attempts At Ineptitude