HELLO!


Hey all, welcome to my blog.  

If you’re here because you’re tired of Supernatural and the cast- I have a lot of posts that will be of interest to you. Way too many. I kind of wish they’d retire the show and their stupidity. If you’re wondering why I’m trash talking your favourite show – there’s an explanation post here.

Please read the rest of this post if you’re wondering where the Supernatural recaps have gone.

If you have a general comment about Supernatural, the cast or whatever, I now have an open thread!

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Bad Moviethon #18 – Just Married


(Potentially) BAD MOVIE MARATHON 

#18

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

Just Married | 2003

Synopsis: Tom (Ashton Kutcher) and Sarah (Brittany Murphy) are two lovebirds from different worlds. He’s an average guy with a fondness for beer who works a low-level job, while she’s an aspiring writer from a wealthy and cultured family. The disapproval of family and friends doesn’t prevent the pair from marrying, but their disastrous honeymoon in Italy, with an unwelcome appearance by Sarah’s ex-boyfriend, Peter (Christian Kane), nearly succeeds in tearing them apart.

“Rotten” score: 20%

First of all, Brittany Murphy is so damn likable that this movie deserves waaaaay more than 20%. Secondly, Christian Kane looked downright delectable in this movie. I felt bad for wondering what happened to him. Thirdly, I watched this as part of my Ashton Kutcher marathon (which is ongoing. SOMEBODY HELP ME) which I feel a need to confess to. 

This movie wasn’t bad at all. Boy meets rich girl. Rich family hates boy. Rich family has rich guy who they would rather rich girl date. Boy kills rich girl’s dog. They get married. They go on honeymoon in France Italy. Boy cuts power in their rich hotel by being a Stoopid American abroad. They’re thrown out of said hotel. Rich father pays for another hotel. Boy wants to watch football the whole time, cause you know, vacations are basically like real life except you don’t have to work. Rich girl wants to talk about the sights, history and whatever else even though boy has never expressed interest in it. Rich boy swoops in, takes her to some other dude’s house and almost succeeds in smooching her. Boy finds out and almost cheats with ditzy girl. 

Rich girl and boy fall out and break up. Aw. Diddums. 

They fly back to Good Ol’ America. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, it’s over until it isn’t and WOO they love each other YAY! 

It was your standard romantic comedy and it aged surprisingly well. The plot was fairly stupid and predictable, but not offensively so. And it was far better than the next movie on my list (hint: also stars Ashton Kutcher), so I’ll take it. I’d even maybe but probably never watch it again. 

It gets a snark approval rating of: 5/10. Aren’t I generous?

who remembers lindsay lohan’s music?


I have a confession to make.

I Decide by Lindsay Lohan is still my jam.

I can even get down to Rumors.

Over was another, uh, classic. Or something.

She’s no Hilary Duff, but you know, it wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t great but you know, at least she tried. The furthest I’ve gotten is singing to myself at midnight (all fun and games until you realize that there’s a person in that car across the street).

Yeah, anyway, I just felt like I should admit to this. I should probably end the post here.

is this thing on?


I don’t post much here these days mostly because I recently just got back into watching TV and movies etc. Before I was watching In Living Color and MadTV skits on YouTube for two months straight. Oh and I watched three seasons of the Ashton Kutcher Two and a Half Men era.

It was a dark period for me.

I will have more reviews up soon hopefully. I just started watching The Arrangement, a dumb show on E! about dumb people being creepy and dumb. I watched the first season of Scream Queens and I liked it. If there was ever a show made with me in mind, it’s that one. Hilarious stuff.

I tried Night Of which is a dull HBO show. I will try to finish it, but… yeah, it was a bit dry. Maybe it’ll pick up.

I’m also making my way through That 70s Show. The main question I have is what happened to Topher Grace? He used to look cute and now he… well, anyway, it’s Sunday, so I’ll be kind and move on. It’s a funny show. I don’t think I ever watched it as a kid, it was slightly before my time.

In terms of Supernatural, I’m still on hiatus. Here’s an example of some recent Google search terms that have led to my blog.

Why is Supernatural still on?

I wish I knew. I wish we all knew.

Jared Padalecki is a douchebag

I guess nothing has changed? Lol, that’s quite a common search term. Oh, well. I merely reported on his actions. I’m the innocent one here.

Moving on, I’m on hiatus with a lot of shows. Chicago Fire, Chicago PD, Chicago Bakery, Gotham. I keep seeing adverts for Gotham and it looks good, but… anyway, one day.

I also never finished The Mentalist which saddens me.

Apparently not enough to finish it, but you never know, one day.

One day. 

Bad Products, cont. 


It’s that time once again. I recommend the products, you decide which one is the least ridiculous and get yourself something special!

1. For the handyman coffee enthusiasts I present the Power Tool Battery Coffee Maker.

Power Tool Battery Coffee Maker CM501DZ means you’ll never be short of a cup of coffee even on a construction site, as long as you have a drill or other power tool lying around

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Bad Moviethon #1 [REPOST]


(POTENTIALLY) BAD MOVIETHON

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

#1 POINT BREAK [REMAKE]

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SUMMARYA young FBI agent infiltrates an extraordinary team of extreme sports athletes he suspects of masterminding a string of unprecedented, sophisticated corporate heists.

WHY I’M WATCHING IT: You know when you watch a trailer and you’re just mystified by what you’re seeing and at the same time, it looks really bright and sunny and PRETTY! And then you finally process it and your reaction is WOW. Just wow. Yeah, that was mine when watching the PB remake trailer. Followed by WHY? And then, ‘Yeah, I don’t think too many people are going to pay to sit through this shit…’ (more…)

SIX (History Channel)


The series chronicles the operations and daily lives of operators who are part of the U.S. Naval Special Warfare Development Group (DEVGRU), more commonly known as SEAL Team Six, which is one of the U.S. Armed Forces’ primary counter-terrorism units. [Wikipedia]

I only watched this show for one reason and one reason only. 

Kyle. Freaking. Schmid. 

Imagine my disappointment when I saw he was playing yet another drunken lothario type (although, it’s not like anyone else remembers Copper). Still, his hair is adorable so I forgive him. 

I have one major issue with this show. It uses a very real and still ongoing crisis as the backrop and falls into that white saviour bullshit extremely easily. It was borderline offensive. Completely distasteful and next time, they should maybe pick another crisis. 

To give you a quick summary, we meet the team in Afghanistan. They are looking for a known terrorist but they don’t find him. Instead they end up shooting an American in cold blood. In front of his brother. They destroy the camera footage and apparently forget all about the witness to the crime. 

Years later, the guy that shot the American – RIP – is working security and no longer part of the team. He’s in Nigeria with some people who will be renovating a girl’s school and want to do a photo op. Before that can happen, Boko Haram storm in and kidnap everyone.

In Dubai, the brother of the dead American (Michael) is working with ISIS. When he learns that Rip has been kidnapped, he does his best to get a hold of him. That happens, and we’re forced to watch as the poor girls are dragged from one place to another. 

Eventually, after taking a very long time, the SEAL team are sent in to rescue them. It takes about three attempts, but they do. At this point the teacher of the kidnapped girls seems to think that Rip is some kind of hero. Everyone lives happy even after. 

Until the last scene where an American girl that Michael had been grooming magically finds Rip and shoots him in cold blood. 

Questionable plot aside, the show was easy to watch. Time flew by and it’s good background noise. I’ll probably watch the second season. It’s nothing special…It has the same propaganda-ish feel that these shows generally do. And it was stupid. So stupid. The side plots were the worst part. 

We have one guy trying to pay for his kids tuition. One guy is finally leaving his deadbeat father status behind him. One is trying for a baby (until his wife leaves him). The worst part has to be when one the team members dies. At his wake, the duaghter of the deadbeat dad finds video of her deadbeat father ‘comforting’ the widow. 

Is this a soap opera or a serious show?? The narrative is a little confused. I also didn’t care for the fifty-eleven flashbacks. I’m curious to see how they approach season two. 

Verdict: 5/10. Worth it mostly for Kyle Schmid’s hair. 

when you’re too smart for your own good


I’ll be honest, 2018 has gotten off to a shaky start and I haven’t been keeping up with the news much. It’s been Trump, Trump, Trump for a year and it’s become rather tiring. 

That being said, it’s time to check back in and this week didn’t disappoint. 

We have Melania and her Einstein visa, Hope Hicks and her wife-beating ex-boyfriend, and her resignation. We have Jarvanka getting their security clearances downgraded. Gen. Kelly appears to have gone power mad. Sessions and Trump are like two old pensioners who spend their time arguing with each other. Sarah Huckabee Sanders is still the resident WH Bullshitter. It’s been a long week for Trump.

Oh and Roy Moore has no money. 

Former U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore is pleading for money to pay for his legal bills as he fights a lawsuit against a woman who says he molested her when she was 14.

Moore said on a campaign Facebook page Thursday that his “resources have been depleted.”

Maybe he should auction off his guns? Just a suggestion. 

However, what caught my attention was an ethics story. We have whistleblower drama, extravagant furniture and feigned ignorance.

The worst thing about smart people is that they can easily go rogue and end up with a severely inflated opinion of themselves. Being an expert in their field means that they can do anything. Yet, they struggle with basic tasks like operating a toaster. Maintaining budgets, being able to talk about what they do. Or, not being smart enough to know that they have no business running a governmental department. 

Yes, these musings are in honour of Ben Carson. Ben Carson is one of those frustrating black people who had his black membership revoked a long time ago. He’s an embarrassment as far as I’m concerned. The kind of person that misuses the good fortune they’ve been given. His comments on people on welfare are disgusting. His comments about slavery are even worse. He truly has no shame. 

However, people like him are always the ones that are thrifty with their money while playing fast and loose with other people’s.

Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson is under fire spending $31,000 on a lavish dining set for his office.

Call me crazy, but why does he need a dining set at all? Are we supposed to believe that there are going to be enough working lunches and dinners that’s it’s a requirement? Not only that, it’s custom made. Supposedly the order has been cancelled but somewhere out there there’s someone with half a dining set who’s probably not happy.

I know that government officials think they’re above the rest of us, but what’s wrong with IKEA? Maybe Ben Carson can get a team of people on welfare to assemble it for him, seeing as how poverty is a ‘state of mind’ and all that.

I think the most ludicrous part is that the actual budget for redecorating was $5,000. That’s still a lot of money. However…

Carson’s wife, Candy, said that “$5,000 will not even buy a decent chair”.

Carson’s department also signed a contract last year to spend $165,000 on “lounge furniture” for its Washington headquarters from the retailer OFS Brands of Huntingburg, Indiana, according to federal procurement records.

All of this amidst the fact that they stand to lose at least six billion dollars of funding. Oh, wait. Ben Carson couldn’t care less about housing. That might be because you know, he’s a brain surgeon with absolutely no experience and also someone with no basic human compassion or understanding of how people less fortunate than him live. 

Naturally, Ben Carson is denying all knowledge of this. I guess he just signed off on a bunch of papers that he read but only comprehended after the ink dried (that’s actually plausible). 

To conclude: Ugh.

Meanwhile in the UK….

Theresa May’s Mansion House speech on Britain’s future relationship with EU was dismissed as vague and unworkable

…not much has changed.

The big news this week was the collapse of Maplin and Toys’R’Us.

Two of the UK’s best-known retailers, Toys R Us and the electronics specialist Maplin, have collapsed into administration on the same day, putting 5,500 jobs at risk.

…another sign of how Brexit will be good for the UK, surely?

“The business [Maplin] has worked hard over recent months to mitigate a combination of impacts from sterling devaluation post-Brexit, a weak consumer environment and the withdrawal of credit insurance.”

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To conclude: DOUBLE UGH.

Over in Nigeria, the government took a week to admit that yes, 110 girls were kidnapped by a terrorist group they’ve absolutely failed to do anything about. 

Infinity ugh. 

Valentine’s Days gifts that you SHOULD have bought!


I’m on something of a hiatus at the moment, but I figured that I’d swing by and give you some love. By the way, if you went to see Fifty Shades Freed in honour of Valentine’s Day non-ironically, there’s something wrong with you. 
What you should have done instead is bought one of these….

The Brassiere Eye Mask

This is literally some shit out of Fifty Shades of Fuck No. 

Poking fun at Japan’s rather unfair reputation for harboring too many men with strange fetishes, the Brassiere Eye Mask is an amusing way to catch some shut-eye. We’ve all heard those tales of used panties and underwear thieves. Sure, there are a few out there, but the media would have us think that the whole nation was engaged in these, ahem, hobbies. The truth is rather more mundane. Fortunately for fans of the bizarre, Village Vanguard is here with a hilarious eye mask (available in three colors) in the shape of a miniature bra that sits snugly over your face. When you say you got it from Japan, all your coworkers and friends’ questions will be answered!

Oh dear.

The next item is even more bizarre. 

Toilet Noise Blocker Flushing Sound Gadget

It is one of the peculiarities of the Japanese (mostly women, but also men): they’re very self-conscious when it comes to the noises they make when they are on the toilet. Many Westerners are too, of course, but not to the extent that they create a device that makes the sound of flushing water to cover the sound their bodies make. Yes, the On Serebu Toilet Noise Blocker is one such gadget!

Mate, I don’t give a crap what people are doing in the toilet. I think the constant sound of flushing water would drive me berserk, though. WEIRD. 

The next item is for those of you have crazy cat lovers in your life. 

Cat Tail Jeans

The Cat Tail Jeans is your new way to have fun with your pet. Created by cat-themed brand fashion Felissimo and Rinrin Yamano, a manga artist whose cute illustrations have appeared on many Felissimo products, the jeans are especially thick so kittens and cats can latch onto your legs with their claws without causing physical pain to the wearer. And your cat will love trying to get at the mini tail that you attach to the jeans so it swings as you move, attracting their attention. There are also long, pleated pockets that your feline friend will enjoy trying to climb up. The jeans are available in six sizes.

You know what, let us move on because I have nothing to say. 

Exposed Butt T-shirt

This is a shirt for women, right? I’m going to pretend that this is for your average hen do or bachelorette party…No?

Give yourself the, ahem, butt of your dreams, whether you are a guy or a girl, with this Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt. On the front of the white shirt sits a cute female rear in panties, exposed to the whole world for all to see… on your chest. This hilarious parody clothing will be a big hit at parties, when walking down the street, or whenever you really want to surprise your coworkers.

…surprise your co-workers? Where does this potential stupid shirt owner work? Frats’R’Us?

Onto our last product which has to be the second most bizarre…

Toenail Art Polish Stockings

In Japan Toenail Art Polish Stockings are taking over in the same way that “tattoo leggings” did a few years ago! Led by retailers like Belle Maison, girls around Tokyo are leaving their nail polish in the drawer and instead slipping on these “fake toe nail” stockings that create even more striking effects on their feet than regular cosmetics! Here you can choose between six types of “pre-painted” stockings: Paint, Line Candy, Tile Flower, Mermaid, Flamingo, or Sunny Shower. There are also two sizes. And since the stocking have separate toes they are more comfortable to wear and better for your feet.

…..

Stockings with separate toes?? With nail art. Put enough liquor in me and I could possibly get to the stage where I have to enter my PayPal details. Hopefully, I would have sobered up by the point. 

Anyway, yes. Feel free to splurge. 

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day!

Bad Products, cont.


Once again, I have ventured onto my favourite website. Once again, I’m shocked, amazed and slightly grossed out.

1. Upskirt Umbrella.

Yes. You read that correctly.

We’re not going to pretend this is a mainstream trend in Japan but even the puritans among us have to admit: it’s a fun idea. The Upskirt Umbrella (or An-burera, a play on the words for “underpants” and “umbrella”) by Million Girls Project might be the most original umbrella you ever buy. Please just be careful not to get arrested when using it, though! The Upskirt Umbrella is a very tongue-in-cheek spin on Japan’s reputation for turning schoolgirls into sex objects. Well, it might not improve that image but it certainly makes for a novel way to keep the rain off your head!

Oh, yeah, it’s tongue in cheek and not at all creepy. What normal person would even buy this? I can’t even remember the price but anyone who does should probably be on a watch list somewhere.

2. Lap Pillow Mini Skirt

I don’t even have anything snarky to add here. Just read the text that they have added themselves.

This new version of the now legendary Hizamakura Lap Pillow will no doubt do nothing for Japan’s “wacky” reputation in some corners, but we still reckon it’s an awesome and fun way to get some shut-eye anyway. If you want that maternal feeling of resting your weary head on the legs of a woman, then prop yourself on the Hizamakura.

Resembling the “lap” of a woman, complete with red skirt, this takes you right back to that blissful period of nurture, when someone was watching over your every move. The legs this time are foam, thus making for a more comfortable experience. A great gift for guys, for bachelor parties and more.

This time they’re foam? What the heck were they before? I’m scared to find out so I’m going to move on here.

3. Vegetabrella Lettuce Umbrella

WHY. This is umbrella abomination of the highest order and I am personally offended that they chose lettuce. After two days lettuce ends up soggy. That’s not what I’m looking for in an umbrella. At all. Ever.


4. Pancake Playing Cards

I don’t hate these as much as I should.

Now I want pancakes. Time for me to click off this site. Not that I’d buy anything. Everything is extremely expensive in the sense that it’s not free.

The Ranch (Netflix)


Ashton Kutcher stars in this Netflix-original sitcom as Colt, who returns home to his family’s ranch in Colorado after his semi-pro football career ends in failure. Colt plans to run the ranching business with his older brother, Rooster, and his father, Beau (Sam Elliott), whom he hasn’t seen in 15 years. In addition to proving himself to his father and navigating family dynamics, Colt is torn between his current girlfriend and his high school sweetheart, Abby (Elisha Cuthbert), when she expresses doubts about her fiance.

I reviewed the pilot episode of this show a while back. The post is no longer up (because I have standards or something, idk!) but the snark was strong.

Based on the pilot, the summary of this show is basically ‘Youngest son returns home after failed football career to find that his father is still a redneck farmer that hates everything.’

The laugh track doesn’t help this show because as people are ‘laughing’, I’m wondering if I’m having a terrible dream. There are wise cracks about Ashton Kutcher wearing Uggs. The first one was so painful that the writer treated us to another. The opening conversation is about Ashton Kutcher’s character slipping when peeing into the mouth of an ice statue. He ended up flashing Shania Twain while he was up in Canada. The following exchange happens:

Brother: I bet she said that ‘don’t impress me much’.

Ashton
: No, she said, ‘man I feel like a woman’.

Laugh track
: ha ha ha ha ha we’re sobbing on the inside.

By the end of the episode, Ashton Kutcher’s character has supposedly failed his football tryout. He asks his father if he can stay and tries to give him money. His father says no and zzzzZzzzzz. Is this a sitcom or weird family drama? Oh and Ashton and his father manage to end a fifteen year drought by arguing. As this happens a song with the lyrics ‘Rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey. Whiskey makes my baby freaky’ (or something along those lines) plays and I was silently screaming SOMEBODY SAVE ME.

Clearly, I don’t care enough about ranches and hoedowns to like this show. Oh, and I just looked up the reviews and apparently the internet agrees that this show is terrible. Well, some of the internet. Apparently it gets better. Or is it that the pilot is so woeful that it can’t get any worse?

As someone who genuinely liked Undateable (which was a terrible, terrible show), I should probably give this show a few more episodes on that basis. However, if I do, I’m only doing so because I like Elisha Cuthbert.

I’m still mostly watching the show for Elisha Cuthbert. The jokes are so-so and it’s basically a predictable soap opera.

The biggest issue while watching the show was Danny Masterson. His jokes were along the lines of the Shania Twain joke. Insensitive and not very funny. I was also aware of the accusations against him so it was super uncomfortable. He left the show eventually (well, they fired him) so…I don’t know. Perhaps the show can focus on actual humour and discard the cheap laughs.

Or not.

The only major criticism I have is that it’s very repetitive and it looks cheap. I think I read that they shoot it on a soundstage in Burbank (in front of a live audience who apparently laugh at the many, many, f-bombs). Yeah. It shows.

I also hate all of the country music they keep subjecting me to. I don’t think I’m the show’s target audience AT ALL.

And I am not sure why ‘fuck, yeah‘ comes up so many time in the scripts. If they’re ad-libs then…fuck, no. Swearing is a lazy punch line that doesn’t really sound good when it’s a half an hour show. It also sounds so forced on the show at times that I automatically roll my eyes.

Other than that it kind of grows on you. I don’t love it but I don’t hate it either.

It’s harmless background noise and perfect for those nights when you can’t fall asleep, lol.

Verdict: 5/10

ETA: I finished season 2 part 2/season 4 and ugh. Predictable. That and everyone seems to have undergone asshole transplants. Elisha’s character was just annoying which means that my viewership may end sooner rather than later. They need to give her better material. Or maybe just get her to come back as Alex Kerkovich.

#HappyEndings4eva