Featured 5

HELLO!


This blog is on hiatus for the foreseeable future. You’re all welcome to comment/email [spnsnark@gmail.com] but for now, adios snarklings!

I am technically still on hiatus but I reserve the right to occasionally comment on Jared’s activities. He’s basically become my personal amusement. In a good way and not ‘omg, I want to punch myself’ kinda way. I think.

Currently watching season 10
Can’t really be bothered with season 11.

Please be respectful when commenting and if you do decide to leave me a weird comment that makes no logical sense, come back to explain it. That’s all that I ask.

Header icon made by Yannick from www.flaticon.com is licensed under CC BY 3.0


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A DRAMATIC POST DETAILING SATURDAY 19TH MARCH, 2016 AKA MY ONE SINGLE TEAR X 500 DAY


This post is sponsored by Jensen Ackles’ one single tear.

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There might be more than one here but I don’t really care.

It’s one in the morning as I am writing this and I’m using a computer that isn’t mine, intermittently web searching ‘HELP, SPILLED COFFEE ALL OVER MY LAPTOP‘ as if that will magically take me back to the previous afternoon and reverse the FREAK ACCIDENT that occurred.
Continue reading “A DRAMATIC POST DETAILING SATURDAY 19TH MARCH, 2016 AKA MY ONE SINGLE TEAR X 500 DAY”

I am officially no longer a fan of anything*


This is kind of a response to this: Vision. Fans all have different visions etc. Yeah. Anyway. Rant incoming.

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*Well, except for Manchester United, Chris Hemsworth, certain boybands and Simon Baker. And Tom Hardy on the days when he doesn’t annoy the shit out of me (I am pretty sure most of what he says is just pseudo-babble).

Anyway, for the sake of this post I will mostly refer to football/soccer fans because they’ve really captured my disdain for ‘fans’. At least with SPN, there’s the ‘these people have [insert adjective] fantasies about [insert annoying person affiliated with SPN]’ aspect. It’s stupid but whatever. They’re gullible consumers and whatnot.

Either way, sports fans don’t really have that excuse. Man-crushes don’t count.

Anyway, I used to read the Guardian for sports comments. Basically, I’m the kind of football fan that spends two hours POSTING IN CAPS on Twitter and after that, I go into lurk mode. I stopped reading the Guardian Sports section because it was just full of silly opinion pieces in which the writers would argue against points that they had been writing about for weeks. There was also an aggressive campaign to get a manager fired which was distasteful. In the end, the amount of rage said manager (of my team, no less!) generated was hilarious to me (well, not during matches). They also have this annoying habit of not linking sources. I get it, they have a business to run but it is kind of frustrating to read an article that assumes the readers knows what the fuck they’re talking about it despite providing no information. They do it a lot and I am over it.

So I started using r/soccer, which is basically the subreddit for everything soccer related. I actually started off at the sub for my team but it was very all late teens/early males’ ish and kind of hilariously bad so I switched to r/soccer.

It’s even worse. Continue reading “I am officially no longer a fan of anything*”

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FRIENDSHIP SNARK


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featured image credit: x

Yes, nothing is off limits. As you all know, I hate everything except for the Backstreet Boys. Anyway, friends are great. We all need them. To laugh with. Cry with. Do other boring bullshit with. But some of them are just annoying as fuck. Including me. I pity my friends every day. I am THE WORST.

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Snark-worthy situations include:

1. The case of the chronic non-reply

This is a bit of a sore point for me. Now I am by no means the best at replying on time but I will reply eventually or send you an email letting you know that I haven’t been caught up in an avalanche. Or eaten by Barney the Dinosaur’s evil twin brother. There are some people in this world who just can’t be bothered. At this point, I sometimes just email them anyway to give them the task of sifting through my emails. Either way, I don’t know if this is a thing that people do. Ignoring just about every single communicative message you send and then telling you to keep in touch when you do eventually get through to them (I should take the hint, I KNOW). It’s rude. I got into it last year with a chronic non-reply friend and all she could say was that she was busy. Yeah, and so what? I’m busy too. I’m not asking you to give up three months of your life to dedicate a shrine to me, just for you to reply to the emails answering the questions that YOU asked me. Needless to say we don’t speak anymore because they never replied to my last message, in which I purposely wrote things that would trigger their hate of conflict. Just call me Miss Moneypetty. Someone had to end the admittedly one-sided cycle. It might as well be me.

i tried

The people who seem to think ‘LET ME KNOW’ or questions are optional also fall into this category. This isn’t a game where you can skip ‘ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION’ and select ‘I’M GOING TO PRETEND THAT THIS CONVERSATION DIDN’T HAPPEN’ instead.

ANSWER THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN QUESTION!

You ask it again and again until finally…


 

2. The friends who want advice just so they can turn around and do the opposite.

You spin me right round, right round–oh, sorry. Yeah. Well. The phrase ‘do you’ is a lot more prominent these days. Loosely translated as ‘well, shit, I ain’t got nothing to tell ya!’. I get it a lot too. WELP. Well in my defence, I am more of a ranter and venter than a ‘tell me what to do’. So there. Good advice also can’t cure my bad luck, so. Yes. Clearly I fall under this category. I’m sorry.

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3. It’s all about you.

This one is becoming more and more common. You start a conversation with someone and then out of nowhere you’re talking about them and it is really puzzling. This happens when I ask someone a question and usually they steam roll past it and make the conversation about them. I’m always just like, ‘yeah, but what I asked you is ‘where they do that at?’ as they’re talking about  their pet golden unicorns or whatever. Fuck, I probably do it too. We all suck.

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4. LOL. LMAO. ROFL. OH. K friends

You know when you write a paragraph, all in proper English and full sentences and then you get ‘lol’ back. Usually an out of context lol. Either the person didn’t read it or they’re just hard-wired to respond with lol. Either way, I find it really hard to have conversations like that. I guess that’s the point. They want me to shut up. I will never do that. Neveeeeeeeer. NEVER!!! I’m just going to start throwing random things out and see how many consecutive lol replies I can get! Dinosaur cake! Lol. Nick Carter! Lol. Aaron Carter! Lol. Geronimo! Lol. Vanilla Ice! Lol. K. Lmao. Oh.

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Read more under the cut!
Continue reading “FRIENDSHIP SNARK”

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The People vs. O.J. Simpson


American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpson 

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So, hands up if your parents still think that O.J. was set up?

Ironically enough, it’s probably likely that the prosecution and police tried to manoeuvre things. I think it is commonly known that they planted evidence and desperately tried to make certain things stick.

That being said, the biggest mistake they made was putting Mark Fuhrman on the stand. I’ve seen a lot of commenters complaining about the jury deliberating for four hours (let’s be honest, after spending nine months locked away in various hotels, can anyone blame them?) If I was a jury member, my mind would have been made up after Furhman pleads the fifth.

Hell, after the glove incident, my mind would have been made up. Not necessarily because I think O.J. is innocent but because all they needed to counteract that was basic science. The glove shrunk, it was covered blood, the material was stiff – basic science should have told them to keep the glove far, far away from evidence. Stevie Wonder could tell you that it wasn’t going to ‘fit’, posturing or no from O.J. And well, brother Johnnie ran with it and if it doesn’t fit, y’all gotta acquit.

Anyway, onto the TV show itself. It was good. Really, really good and not as theatrical as it could have been. The only person whose acting was unconvincing was Jordana Brewster, mostly because her face wasn’t moving when she was trying to emote.

I guess I will kinda review by character because the plot was a given so I can’t decimate it or anything.  Continue reading “The People vs. O.J. Simpson”

My body, mind and soul are ready


SO, SO, SO, SOOOOOOO READY. 

I will be recapping this for my three readers.

LOOK AT THAT FAUXSTACHE. God bless Nick Carter. He will always be the superior Carter brother (Aaron is currently lost, but he will find his way back. I would DM him on Twitter but I’m scared at the prospect of his response – I hear he flashed his bum on some form of social media recently. No bueno).

Howie, boo, I hope you’re debt-free. I will forgive you this one lapse. Well. Second. His 90s goatee wasn’t the best choice.

Joey Fatone. Well. He’s no stranger to SyFy. I remember his three seconds in Jersey Shore Shark Attack. He also looks like a young-ish Jim Beaver on this poster. LMAO.

AJ.  Born to be a villain. But not born to have that awful make-up on his face.

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I love that the tagline is LARGER THAN LIFE! I suppose LARGER THAN DIRTY POP! Or I DRIVE MYSELF CRAZY! would not have worked as well.

Anyway, it’s okay, Nick. I forgive you…I am sure it is contextual and everything….

….cause that makes you laaaaaaaaarger than liiiiiiiiifeeeeeee!

The Love Of Money

You Are Not Alone…in us finding new ways to make you part with your money


That’s probably what Jensen and Misha should have called their latest campaign. Instead, it is merely called You Are Not Alone.

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This one is probably the most ridiculous campaign yet. And before anyone says anything, yeah, it sounds like a decent enough idea. At first. *points below* Continue reading “You Are Not Alone…in us finding new ways to make you part with your money”

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Dear Hannah…


…and anyone else who posts a comment like this. I can’t be bothered to reply to you people anymore, so you will be directed here.

Anyway.

When I received this in my inbox my initial reaction was [redacted]

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In reply to supernaturalsnark.

Hannah

Fuck you. Jared doesn’t have a big ego. He was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and he started the Akf campaign and he saved my fuckin life. All he ever does is give and give so fuck you. You don’t know anything about Jared

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I was intending to just say something like, ‘Don’t go away angry, just go away’ but I thought that might be harsh. I could have gone with ‘Fuck you too!’ but I actually have manners, so. Instead, I read your comment again and was slightly confused because the post you commented was written BEFORE he publicly acknowledged his depression. You’ve already proven that you can read, so unless Jared has personally sent you here to fight his corner, I think the post kind of speaks for itself. It’s reactionary post to some foul shit that your Overlord and Master said before he suddenly had an epiphany and wanted to spread peace and happiness in the form of receipts. Continue reading “Dear Hannah…”

Jared Padalecki and the evil golden arches


If you’re on a phone, you can see the video: here

So, let’s do a checklist (as opposed to receiving a check for eating McD’s. Sigh):

  • Using the kids as part of his Big Mac Pimpin’ – CHECK
  • Adequate information about whatever the hell he’s promoting? – NOPE
  • Adequate information about himself? – YEP!
  • Statement implying that he’s not just doing this for the money? CHECK. He owns his own business, y’all. I’m not hating on that, I just wouldn’t have put it in the clip if I wanted people to really go out and sample this All Day Breakfast thing, which doesn’t sound healthy but…
  • Some sort of clip hinting that with the right amount of exercise, we can all eat McDonald’s All Day menu and end up with chiseled abs and an excessive amount of beanies. – CHECK.
  • Another inexplicable explanation about how he flies back and forth by his own choosing – CHECK.

Continue reading “Jared Padalecki and the evil golden arches”