HELLO!


Hey all, welcome to my blog.  

If you’re here because you’re tired of Supernatural and the cast- I have a lot of posts that will be of interest to you. Way too many. I kind of wish they’d retire the show and their stupidity. If you’re wondering why I’m trash talking your favourite show – there’s an explanation post here.

Please read the rest of this post if you’re wondering where the Supernatural recaps have gone.

If you have a general comment about Supernatural, the cast or whatever, I now have an open thread!

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Bad Products, cont. 


Just in time for… whatever major holiday is coming next? 

Anyway, let’s dive in. 

1. Asahi Clear Latte Coffee-Flavored Water (Pack of 12)
Espresso extract and milk taste
Price: US$ 21

I don’t have a copy of the description but clear flavoured water that tastes like coffee? No. No. No and no. Nope. I can just make a mug of coffee and then refill my cup with water and voila. Coffee water. Why would anyone even want to drink coffee flavoured water anyway?! I reject this water on…coffee grounds (pun intended).

2. WEMO Wearable MemoErasable slap bracelet notepad

Price: US$ 21

The WEMO Wearable Memo means you will never be forced to write down a note on your hand ever again – nor will you need to whip out your phone to type a reminder. Just wear this slap bracelet-style notepad and always have a portable memo (literally) on you. Being waterproof and erasable, this is a superbly practical tool that is ideal for various kinds of working scenarios, particularly nursing staff or people outdoors. There are four colors, each with a varying background design: the blue version has lines; the beige has rulers and grid dots; the white is plain with a rule along one side; and the green has white grid dots.

K. This one is kind of cool, but you know. I’m good with paper. Plus what happens when you run out of space? How would you even read everything? You’d have to do wrist yoga or something. I can practically feel how awkward and uncomfortable it would be. 

3. Mizuiro Vegetable CrayonsColoring crayons made from food

Price: US$ 29

The diversity of its cuisine is probably Japan’s best kept secret and one of the things that make the cuisine special is its variety of vegetables. Add the Japanese passion for freshness and you end up with an unbelievably rich palette of colors at every produce department in every store. From there, coming up with the idea of using these striking colors to create drawing materials was only a small step further and this is how the Mizuiro Vegetable Crayons were born.

…are they edible, though? The last thing you want to do is buy your kid crayons made out of actual food and still have to worry about them sticking it into their mouths. Come on guys. Just make edible crayons already. 

4. Samurai Umbrella

Price: US$ 89

As featured on CNN!

There’s a lot to like about umbrellas – they keep you dry while letting you wear whatever you want, they don’t get clammy like raincoats, and they’re a great excuse to put your arm around a lady. That said, an umbrella is about the least manly accessory a guy can have…until now.

The Samurai Umbrella replaces your boring umbrella grip with a Japanese sword handle, into a dashing, rainproof road warrior. We’ve even included a shoulder case for the umbrella, so you can carry it bandolier-style and free up your hands.

….how insecure in your manhood does one have to be to find an umbrella unmanly. Considering that men these days either have hipster buns or fades to protect, I don’t see any of them shunning umbrellas.

Anyway, I feel like anyone brave enough to carry this in public is asking to be arrested.  When it’s closed it really doesn’t look like an umbrella and I don’t think the police would waste time waiting for the owner to open it. The only exception is if they’re cosplaying in the rain (oh, what a glorious day…) and even then, no, you’re just looking to catch charges. 

5. Sushi Socks

Raw fish design leg wear
Price: US$ 56

The Sushi Socks are just how they sound: socks that look like Japan’s most famous food. The colorful leg wear fit almost all sizes and are based on actual popular sushi. This is a set of six, kind of like when you get a mori-awaseplatter in a sushi restaurant. They can be folded up to look like pairs of sushi on a plate, the white part of the sock looking like the rice, while the “fish” being the colored patterns.

Japanese people love anything that looks like food damn. A set of socks arranged to look like a sushi platter? That’s dedication. Expensive dedication. I’ll stick to plain black, thanks. It’s what my sock vanquishing washing machine deserves. 

lift etiquette


Yes, I’m British and we say lift. For any persnickety Americans or wherever else-ians, I’m talking about elevators. 

This isn’t so much an investigation as it is me wondering why traveling in lifts is more complicated than it needs to be. 

The most irritating part is people not letting those inside the lift get out before they shove their way in. 

And then they have the nerve to look at you like you’ve gotten in their way. Are they stupid? 

Rhetorical question.

What’s wrong with WAITING three seconds to see if anyone is in the damn thing. This isn’t Sabrina the Teenage Witch. No one is about to cast a magic spell that will take the lift away from you. It’s not going anywhere. Why are you walking into me? I now hang back before I get off because I’m tired of people knocking into me. 

(On a side note people who do this on trains wind me up. Why do I have to push past you to get off the train? Or why are you pushing past me? It’s always someone that smells funky doing it as well. Okay, fine, so that might be my imagination but still. Don’t touch me. Thank you.)

Second irritating thing being in a lift with strangers. Well, I suppose it can’t be helped but it would be nice if people gaged my mood. Sometimes I don’t feel like making awkward small talk. On the other hand, you get those people who STARE like you have six heads and you’re compelled to start talking lest you press the emergency button and demand that someone get you out of there. 

Third thing is loud conversations, both the ones I am forced to witness and participate in. I don’t need you spreading my or your own business across the lift, thanks. I am just trying to get from A to B in near silence. Thank you. 

Four, funky smells. Cigarette smoke. Wafting perfume. Fart. Can’t you people just take the damn stairs? Or air yourself out, damn.

To conclude: people continue to be the worst. 

Bad Moviethon #19 – Killers 


#19

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

Rotten Score: 10%

Synopsis: Three years after a fateful trip to the French Riviera, Jen (Katherine Heigl) enjoys the good life in suburbia with her handsome husband, Spencer (Ashton Kutcher). That comes crashing down, however, when gunfire rings out the morning after his 30th birthday. It turns out that Spencer has not been honest with Jen about his job; he’s a deadly spy. Now she must learn to dodge bullets while keeping up an appearance of normalcy.

This movie has to be one of the dumbest things that I have ever seen. Even 10% is a generous score. It was that movie where you just sit back and wonder how many people wasted their time on it. How does a script this awful even get greenlit? Ashton Kutcher’s looks were not enough to save this movie. It’s only saving grace (for me) was seeing Casey Wilson pop up. 

To recap quickly, Katherine Heigl is unlucky in love and on vacation with her parents. Ashton Kutcher is a deadly spy who’s bored with his job. They see each other and inexplicably fall in love. 

Fast forward three years and they’re married blah blah blah happy happy. Until Ashton gets some kind of paranoia around the time of his 30th birthday. It’s short-lived until it isn’t. Suddenly, they’re under attack because everyone they’ve been surrounded by for the past three years are highly trained assassins. These people just played a long con for three years just so they could kill someone and collect a handsome reward. Oh and conveniently, no other assassins try to kill Ashton (I guess the hit was put out via the local newspaper….) apart from the ones in his life already. 

Halfway through the sheer nonsense that ensues, Katherine Heigl finds out that she’s pregnant. The news that her husband is a spy and there’s a bun in the oven is too much and she leaves him. Only to save his life minutes later because getting out of this movie is not that easy. 

Anyway, to sum a long story short, I think Katherine Heigl’s father ends up being a spy himself. Apparently he was the one who put out the hit on Ashton. Yeah, cause that makes sense. Hire a bunch of wild assassins to kill your son in law (and potentially your daughter) instead of just … doing it yourself. 

Bonus LOL: Usher appears as a K-Mart manager. I almost fell on my damn seat. So random. So unexpected. So hilarious. 

Verdict: 1/10. So, yeah. Rotten Tomatoes is bang on the money with this one. This movie is pure garbage. 

Bad Moviethon #18 – Just Married


(Potentially) BAD MOVIE MARATHON 

#18

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

Just Married | 2003

Synopsis: Tom (Ashton Kutcher) and Sarah (Brittany Murphy) are two lovebirds from different worlds. He’s an average guy with a fondness for beer who works a low-level job, while she’s an aspiring writer from a wealthy and cultured family. The disapproval of family and friends doesn’t prevent the pair from marrying, but their disastrous honeymoon in Italy, with an unwelcome appearance by Sarah’s ex-boyfriend, Peter (Christian Kane), nearly succeeds in tearing them apart.

“Rotten” score: 20%

First of all, Brittany Murphy is so damn likable that this movie deserves waaaaay more than 20%. Secondly, Christian Kane looked downright delectable in this movie. I felt bad for wondering what happened to him. Thirdly, I watched this as part of my Ashton Kutcher marathon (which is ongoing. SOMEBODY HELP ME) which I feel a need to confess to. 

This movie wasn’t bad at all. Boy meets rich girl. Rich family hates boy. Rich family has rich guy who they would rather rich girl date. Boy kills rich girl’s dog. They get married. They go on honeymoon in France Italy. Boy cuts power in their rich hotel by being a Stoopid American abroad. They’re thrown out of said hotel. Rich father pays for another hotel. Boy wants to watch football the whole time, cause you know, vacations are basically like real life except you don’t have to work. Rich girl wants to talk about the sights, history and whatever else even though boy has never expressed interest in it. Rich boy swoops in, takes her to some other dude’s house and almost succeeds in smooching her. Boy finds out and almost cheats with ditzy girl. 

Rich girl and boy fall out and break up. Aw. Diddums. 

They fly back to Good Ol’ America. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, it’s over until it isn’t and WOO they love each other YAY! 

It was your standard romantic comedy and it aged surprisingly well. The plot was fairly stupid and predictable, but not offensively so. And it was far better than the next movie on my list (hint: also stars Ashton Kutcher), so I’ll take it. I’d even maybe but probably never watch it again. 

It gets a snark approval rating of: 5/10. Aren’t I generous?

who remembers lindsay lohan’s music?


I have a confession to make.

I Decide by Lindsay Lohan is still my jam.

I can even get down to Rumors.

Over was another, uh, classic. Or something.

She’s no Hilary Duff, but you know, it wasn’t all bad. It wasn’t great but you know, at least she tried. The furthest I’ve gotten is singing to myself at midnight (all fun and games until you realize that there’s a person in that car across the street).

Yeah, anyway, I just felt like I should admit to this. I should probably end the post here.

is this thing on?


I don’t post much here these days mostly because I recently just got back into watching TV and movies etc. Before I was watching In Living Color and MadTV skits on YouTube for two months straight. Oh and I watched three seasons of the Ashton Kutcher Two and a Half Men era.

It was a dark period for me.

I will have more reviews up soon hopefully. I just started watching The Arrangement, a dumb show on E! about dumb people being creepy and dumb. I watched the first season of Scream Queens and I liked it. If there was ever a show made with me in mind, it’s that one. Hilarious stuff.

I tried Night Of which is a dull HBO show. I will try to finish it, but… yeah, it was a bit dry. Maybe it’ll pick up.

I’m also making my way through That 70s Show. The main question I have is what happened to Topher Grace? He used to look cute and now he… well, anyway, it’s Sunday, so I’ll be kind and move on. It’s a funny show. I don’t think I ever watched it as a kid, it was slightly before my time.

In terms of Supernatural, I’m still on hiatus. Here’s an example of some recent Google search terms that have led to my blog.

Why is Supernatural still on?

I wish I knew. I wish we all knew.

Jared Padalecki is a douchebag

I guess nothing has changed? Lol, that’s quite a common search term. Oh, well. I merely reported on his actions. I’m the innocent one here.

Moving on, I’m on hiatus with a lot of shows. Chicago Fire, Chicago PD, Chicago Bakery, Gotham. I keep seeing adverts for Gotham and it looks good, but… anyway, one day.

I also never finished The Mentalist which saddens me.

Apparently not enough to finish it, but you never know, one day.

One day. 

Bad Products, cont. 


It’s that time once again. I recommend the products, you decide which one is the least ridiculous and get yourself something special!

1. For the handyman coffee enthusiasts I present the Power Tool Battery Coffee Maker.

Power Tool Battery Coffee Maker CM501DZ means you’ll never be short of a cup of coffee even on a construction site, as long as you have a drill or other power tool lying around

(more…)

Bad Moviethon #1 [REPOST]


(POTENTIALLY) BAD MOVIETHON

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

#1 POINT BREAK [REMAKE]

maxresdefault

SUMMARYA young FBI agent infiltrates an extraordinary team of extreme sports athletes he suspects of masterminding a string of unprecedented, sophisticated corporate heists.

WHY I’M WATCHING IT: You know when you watch a trailer and you’re just mystified by what you’re seeing and at the same time, it looks really bright and sunny and PRETTY! And then you finally process it and your reaction is WOW. Just wow. Yeah, that was mine when watching the PB remake trailer. Followed by WHY? And then, ‘Yeah, I don’t think too many people are going to pay to sit through this shit…’ (more…)

SIX (History Channel)


The series chronicles the operations and daily lives of operators who are part of the U.S. Naval Special Warfare Development Group (DEVGRU), more commonly known as SEAL Team Six, which is one of the U.S. Armed Forces’ primary counter-terrorism units. [Wikipedia]

I only watched this show for one reason and one reason only. 

Kyle. Freaking. Schmid. 

Imagine my disappointment when I saw he was playing yet another drunken lothario type (although, it’s not like anyone else remembers Copper). Still, his hair is adorable so I forgive him. 

I have one major issue with this show. It uses a very real and still ongoing crisis as the backrop and falls into that white saviour bullshit extremely easily. It was borderline offensive. Completely distasteful and next time, they should maybe pick another crisis. 

To give you a quick summary, we meet the team in Afghanistan. They are looking for a known terrorist but they don’t find him. Instead they end up shooting an American in cold blood. In front of his brother. They destroy the camera footage and apparently forget all about the witness to the crime. 

Years later, the guy that shot the American – RIP – is working security and no longer part of the team. He’s in Nigeria with some people who will be renovating a girl’s school and want to do a photo op. Before that can happen, Boko Haram storm in and kidnap everyone.

In Dubai, the brother of the dead American (Michael) is working with ISIS. When he learns that Rip has been kidnapped, he does his best to get a hold of him. That happens, and we’re forced to watch as the poor girls are dragged from one place to another. 

Eventually, after taking a very long time, the SEAL team are sent in to rescue them. It takes about three attempts, but they do. At this point the teacher of the kidnapped girls seems to think that Rip is some kind of hero. Everyone lives happy even after. 

Until the last scene where an American girl that Michael had been grooming magically finds Rip and shoots him in cold blood. 

Questionable plot aside, the show was easy to watch. Time flew by and it’s good background noise. I’ll probably watch the second season. It’s nothing special…It has the same propaganda-ish feel that these shows generally do. And it was stupid. So stupid. The side plots were the worst part. 

We have one guy trying to pay for his kids tuition. One guy is finally leaving his deadbeat father status behind him. One is trying for a baby (until his wife leaves him). The worst part has to be when one the team members dies. At his wake, the duaghter of the deadbeat dad finds video of her deadbeat father ‘comforting’ the widow. 

Is this a soap opera or a serious show?? The narrative is a little confused. I also didn’t care for the fifty-eleven flashbacks. I’m curious to see how they approach season two. 

Verdict: 5/10. Worth it mostly for Kyle Schmid’s hair. 

when you’re too smart for your own good


I’ll be honest, 2018 has gotten off to a shaky start and I haven’t been keeping up with the news much. It’s been Trump, Trump, Trump for a year and it’s become rather tiring. 

That being said, it’s time to check back in and this week didn’t disappoint. 

We have Melania and her Einstein visa, Hope Hicks and her wife-beating ex-boyfriend, and her resignation. We have Jarvanka getting their security clearances downgraded. Gen. Kelly appears to have gone power mad. Sessions and Trump are like two old pensioners who spend their time arguing with each other. Sarah Huckabee Sanders is still the resident WH Bullshitter. It’s been a long week for Trump.

Oh and Roy Moore has no money. 

Former U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore is pleading for money to pay for his legal bills as he fights a lawsuit against a woman who says he molested her when she was 14.

Moore said on a campaign Facebook page Thursday that his “resources have been depleted.”

Maybe he should auction off his guns? Just a suggestion. 

However, what caught my attention was an ethics story. We have whistleblower drama, extravagant furniture and feigned ignorance.

The worst thing about smart people is that they can easily go rogue and end up with a severely inflated opinion of themselves. Being an expert in their field means that they can do anything. Yet, they struggle with basic tasks like operating a toaster. Maintaining budgets, being able to talk about what they do. Or, not being smart enough to know that they have no business running a governmental department. 

Yes, these musings are in honour of Ben Carson. Ben Carson is one of those frustrating black people who had his black membership revoked a long time ago. He’s an embarrassment as far as I’m concerned. The kind of person that misuses the good fortune they’ve been given. His comments on people on welfare are disgusting. His comments about slavery are even worse. He truly has no shame. 

However, people like him are always the ones that are thrifty with their money while playing fast and loose with other people’s.

Housing and Urban Development Secretary Ben Carson is under fire spending $31,000 on a lavish dining set for his office.

Call me crazy, but why does he need a dining set at all? Are we supposed to believe that there are going to be enough working lunches and dinners that’s it’s a requirement? Not only that, it’s custom made. Supposedly the order has been cancelled but somewhere out there there’s someone with half a dining set who’s probably not happy.

I know that government officials think they’re above the rest of us, but what’s wrong with IKEA? Maybe Ben Carson can get a team of people on welfare to assemble it for him, seeing as how poverty is a ‘state of mind’ and all that.

I think the most ludicrous part is that the actual budget for redecorating was $5,000. That’s still a lot of money. However…

Carson’s wife, Candy, said that “$5,000 will not even buy a decent chair”.

Carson’s department also signed a contract last year to spend $165,000 on “lounge furniture” for its Washington headquarters from the retailer OFS Brands of Huntingburg, Indiana, according to federal procurement records.

All of this amidst the fact that they stand to lose at least six billion dollars of funding. Oh, wait. Ben Carson couldn’t care less about housing. That might be because you know, he’s a brain surgeon with absolutely no experience and also someone with no basic human compassion or understanding of how people less fortunate than him live. 

Naturally, Ben Carson is denying all knowledge of this. I guess he just signed off on a bunch of papers that he read but only comprehended after the ink dried (that’s actually plausible). 

To conclude: Ugh.

Meanwhile in the UK….

Theresa May’s Mansion House speech on Britain’s future relationship with EU was dismissed as vague and unworkable

…not much has changed.

The big news this week was the collapse of Maplin and Toys’R’Us.

Two of the UK’s best-known retailers, Toys R Us and the electronics specialist Maplin, have collapsed into administration on the same day, putting 5,500 jobs at risk.

…another sign of how Brexit will be good for the UK, surely?

“The business [Maplin] has worked hard over recent months to mitigate a combination of impacts from sterling devaluation post-Brexit, a weak consumer environment and the withdrawal of credit insurance.”

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To conclude: DOUBLE UGH.

Over in Nigeria, the government took a week to admit that yes, 110 girls were kidnapped by a terrorist group they’ve absolutely failed to do anything about. 

Infinity ugh.