Season 9

Amusing search terms #3


I always love looking at the search terms in the stats section on here – mostly because the stuff that people put into Google is kind of funny. Some of these might be repeats from #1 (I can’t find the post!) and #2 because WordPress has screwed around with the stats page. Siiiiigh.

First of all I have to start with this:

mitch pileggi eyebrows

Why? Why would anyone search this? His eyebrows are terrifying. Someone could literally write a horror movie with his eyebrows as the monster and we would all be genuinely scared. No points for you, anonymous searcher!

wpid-wp-1442126870790.gif

(more…)

A day in the life of….supernatural snark


I was going to write a completely nonsensical and probably irrelevant step by step of how I recap. Mostly because I need to critique myself and figure out how to make them shorter (and I didn’t want to use this time to actually watch an episode). However,  I couldn’t be bothered. So I spent twice as much time as I would have writing that making a comic strip version of my watch/recap process.

disappointed___gif__by_themischiefmonster-d7ej23k

I am currently questioning my life choices.

Anyway, click ‘read the rest of this post/continue/read more/whatever the hell it says’ to see the comic strip 😛 (more…)

December is upon us!


And I haven’t done a recap or watched the show for about a month. Oh well. Apparently the show’s improved blah, blah, blah. People say this every year when the show starts off with five shitty episodes and then reaches such a particularly woeful level of shit that takes it takes another five episodes for them to realise that it didn’t get better, it was just slightly less shit than the REALLY SHITTY episode that preceded the ‘good’ episodes. I’ve got fandom’s number. And my armchair psychology diploma. I see everything.

(more…)

snarkview: 9×23, dean winchester wants you to hear him roar-oh oh oh oh oh oh


finsnark2

 

Finally!!! I will start off with the recap of the season (based on what I remember, which is not a lot). In the premiere, Sam was in a trial-induced coma, and sadly, Dean brokered a deal that unleashed the horror of Jared Padalecki as Gadreel as Ezekiel on us. Dean acted like a dog for an episode. Kevin died and Dean was sad about it. Sam finds out that he’s been possessed by an angel while Dean remains sad. They get into the annual midseason fight. Kevin’s mom gets her revenge and Ghost!Kevin tries and fails to be the voice of reason re: the annual fight. At some point Dean takes on the Mark of Cain so he can seek revenge on…everyone, or something. Dean starts to lose the plot. There as an abysmal spinoff attempt. Dean continues to lose the plot. And then his batshit-o-meter reaches 100% and he declares that he’s a dictator and loses his damn mind.

(more…)

snarkview: 9×22, it’s gonna be dean


Why am I still torturing myself with this show? That’s the question I ask myself every time I sit down to do one of these. And then I realise that I won’t get the answer to that question until someone tells me what exactly the writers are smoking, because clearly, the fumes have gotten to me via my screen. Apparently season 10 sounds interesting….just like season 9 did, and season 8 before that, and season 7 before that, and season 6…I think we all know how season 10 will go. It will start off shit, get shittier, improve for one episode, and then begin a rapid descent into farcical territory.

What the episode was called: Stairway to Heaven (How clichéd!)

What it should have been called: Hallway to Bullshit/The Hilarious Case of Jensen Ackles’ Face

(more…)

OS: NBC’s Undateable (plus Chicago Fire/PD thoughts) and more.


[the featured image doesn’t not belong to me.]

I am in a snarky mood, so…I will try and do a recap this week, maybe an earlier episode because I don’t have time for any Metatron tomfoolery right now. And I heard that they made Garth a werewolf? AND ALSO APPARENTLY DEAN’S A DEMON NOW? I’m probably going to wrap my head in cotton wool before attempting the finale, because Lord knows that I’m going to be bashing it into the wall. Over and over and over (and over) again.

In the meantime here is an informative graph.

spnsnark-actinggraph

A graph showing the acting level of Jared, Jensen and Misha in season’s 1-8 This is what I do in my spare time. It’s sad.

In all fairness to Misha, he’s probably at a 40 in season 4, but somehow I got more personal satisfaction by grading him with zero for everything. I must be a hater. 😛

Anyway…

I came across Undateable by accident. I was searching for something else (I have no idea what) and I saw it and I looked it up and decided to check it out. Mostly because it’s a sitcom and those are twenty minutes long. I used to think that sitcoms were for stupid people who didn’t have the attention span to sit through a 40 minute show, but then I realised that was a stupid person who no longer has the attention span to sit through a 40 minute show (and it’s sad, bro). And I kind of miss having a sitcom that I genuinely love, like I did with Happy Endings. Trophy Wife was good but it wasn’t great and How I Met Your Mother stopped being funny a while ago, and the ending doesn’t sound to promising. Modern Family is still decent but it lacks the spark of its earlier seasons. Anyway, the premise of Undateable sounded kind of terrible. A bunch of misfits who are deemed not to be dateable by society or whatever  because they’re this and that (read: either socially awkward or emotionally stunted).

(more…)

snarkview: 9×20, supernatural: flatlines


I have good news and bad news.

The good news is that Jared finally got a haircut that didn’t involve him standing in front a mirror with a beanie, a pair of blunt garden shears and shitload of tears.

The bad news is that he’s still an idiot.

Onto the spinoff episode! I’ve been told that it’s worse than all of the worst episodes of Supernatural combined. This doesn’t surprise me. No one with any common sense saw the need for a spin off or a way in which it wouldn’t be completely abhorrent and stupid, but well, nobody said that The CW had smarts.

What this episode was called: Bloodlines

What it should have been called: Flatlines

(more…)

Really…


I’m back. Kind of.

AND IN MY ABSENCE FOX CANCELLED ALMOST HUMAN!!!!!

anigif_enhanced-900-1398709118-5

(thanks to Jeff for reacquainting me with this gif!)

 

My reaction was not as controlled as that. I probably flared my nostrils and shit and like, bitched out a single tear. Anyway. It’s a shame but I will move on.

The CW also managed to air the Supernatural spin-off, realise it was a piece of garbage and subsequently dispose of it.

From what I saw (on one random article on one random site because I’ve been extremely out of the loop for the last two months) Supernatural fans didn’t like it because a. it was cheesy and b. Sam and Dean were only in it for fifteen minutes and c. The characters were lame and morally corrupt etc.

That sounds just like a normal episode of Supernatural to me. LOL. I didn’t realise that the fans were so picky.

Anyway, apparently the Supernatural finale has aired already? I don’t even know where to start from. Last I knew I had posted non-snark about an episode I didn’t watch, so I guess I’ll take it from there. Or not. I don’t know.

SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF.