Bad Moviethon – #40 – Dragonball: Evolution (2009)

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Dragonball: Evolution 2009 15%
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Goku sets out on a race against time in order to fulfil his grandfather’s dying wish. He must collect a set of seven magical orbs before the vengeful King Piccolo can misuse them.

Apparently, this is #40 and I’ve picked the movie the internet loves to hate!

I guess the point is to find the Dragon Balls so that Goku can stop the bad guy from destroying the world. I don’t remember enough about Dragon Ball Z to hate this movie as much as people seem to.

I thought it was fun! Perfect background noise. It was cheesy and a little over the top, but enough to keep me entertained.

I did wonder about Justin Chatwin as Goku…they couldn’t find any decent Asian actors? Or, I’m guessing they felt like they needed a white male lead to get the asses in the seats. Who knows. Either way, I agree that he was miscast. He was giving me Freddie Prinze Jr teen heartthrob wannabe vibes when he probably should have been doing something else. In the beginning, he beats up a bunch of bullies, but he was kind of a jerk too? Are we supposed to root for him?

The special effects…well, they leave a lot to be desired, particularly the fight scenes. All of the flipping and cartwheels always look cooler when animated. In the film, it’s obvious they have them wired up.

There were some scenes that didn’t make much sense. At one point, our core group of characters are run off the road by a thief who set up a trap – a hole in the ground. They spend so long in the hole that it’s nighttime when one of them leaps out of it, easy as pie. Was there a reason why he waited to free himself? We’ll never know.

We also get some teen romance thrown in there and it was nice. I suppose that’s what the criticism is – in order to cram everything into the film, nothing really happens. It’s very by the numbers with a lot of exposition.

That being said, I kind of want to watch the Dragon Ball Z show now (if only I could get into anime!). I doubt that was the creator’s intention, but hey, you win some, and you lose some.

5/10

Bad Moviethon – #39 – You Lucky Dog (1998)

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You Lucky Dog 1998 N/A
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When dog psychic Jack Morgan treats the inappropriately named pooch Lucky for depression, he has no idea that his treatment will land him in the doghouse. Lucky’s owner dies and leaves all his money to Lucky on the condition that Jack lives with him. Jack’s delighted, but the owner’s family is furious and determined to fight for what they see as their money. Can Jack thwart the evil relations, despite Lucky’s canine capers?

I was reading some of the older Bad Moviethon posts and I couldn’t remember the last outrightly bad movie I watched. So, I went and found one. And what a mess this movie is. A MESS.

You know it’s bad when you’re half an hour in and one of the characters says:

It’s nothing personal, but I think you might be possessed by the devil.

Apparently, this film had a $4 million budget. I can only assume that most of it went on the real therapy required by all involved in this travesty.

The movie begins with newspaper clippings of a teenage dog psychic. We cut to said psychic all grown up and in his dog therapist mode. He’s sleeping in his office while dog owners wait in the waiting room. UNTIL. He meets a dog called Lucky and blammo – his dog psychic connection is back. Lucky’s owner seems to find that endearing instead of creepy as fuck and he has enough time to amend his will – he leaves $65 million to Lucky – on the condition that the dog psychic lives with him. I feel like the premise would be fun and hijinkys enough without the psychic connection, but what do I know? I’m just a humble viewer.

And James Avery is in this. I had to give it a chance.

Anyway, the rich dead guy dies and his family are ENRAGED when they read the will. They start plotting to kill Lucky, because, why not? It’s the villainous thing to do.

Dog psychic movies into the mansion and gets overcited! LIKE REALLY OVEREXCITED! Almost like…he’s a dog. Or, you know, psychically connected to one. There’s a scene where the maids come in while he’s communicating with the dog who wants to go outside. There’s some back and forth and I’ll give Lucky credit, he deserves an Oscar. Unfortunately, Lucky really wants to dig up a bone he buried and somehow Dog Psychic is now…manifesting Lucky? He literally gets on his hands and knees and starts using his face to dig through the ground to find said bone.

I was finding the movie funny so I made the decision to just congratulate myself on making it through thirty minutes and called it a day. I watch bad movies so I can feel irrational annoyance and anger, not laugh at a dog making funny faces. I am going to pretend that Lucky went on to live his best life and that someone gave Dog Psychic a lobotomy,

Bad Moviethon – #38 – Unhinged (2020)

in which I review of a movie deserves its woeful IMDB rating.

[Originally my criteria was a film was considered not good if it had a rating below 50% and I’ll stick to that.]

ETA: I watched this in 2020…or 2021? I just didn’t post it. Luckily for you, I’m trying to blog more!

ETA 2: I wrote the previous ETA on 6th April and I STILL didn’t post it. Third time is the charm.


Unhinged

2020

After a confrontation with an unstable man at an intersection, a woman becomes the target of his rage.


I found the concept of this movie interesting, particular the social commentary it comes with. We open with Russell Crowe arguing with an unseen woman and leaving a house. The house then blows up. So, we know he’s a little loco already. Cool. Next we’re with the Mom (I don’t know her name, and I don’t think it’s important). Mom is going through a divorce. She lives with her brother and his girlfriend, and her young son.

They’re running late for school. Her son is quite sassy about it too, which irked me. Like, she knows she’s late, kid. Chill. Anyway, they get stuck in traffic. Son asks to use her phone and drops a nice bit of foreshadowing.

“No pass code? That’s dangerous!”

Is it, though? We will find out!

Fast forward to a green light and Mom honks aggressively when Russell Crowe doesn’t move. He then drives alongside them and motions for Son to roll down the window. Son obliges. Apparently, no pass code is dangerous. Rolling down the car window for angry man is fine.

Continue reading “Bad Moviethon – #38 – Unhinged (2020)”

Victorious (Nickelodeon)

I wrote this so long ago that it’s time I set it free. It will also serve as a reminder that when I can’t find anything else to watch, a book will suffice.

Why is Avan Jogia even on this show? HIS CHARACTER DOESN’T DO ANYTHING. Unless being a bad boyfriend counts? And having wonderful hair. I take it back. He served his purpose and he served it well.

This show is…strange. It’s one of the weirdest things I’ve ever watched. I would not show my children this unless I wanted to mentally scar them.

Continue reading “Victorious (Nickelodeon)”

how much tv is too much tv?

I have no answer. I’m just here to ramble about what I’ve been watching.

Echoes (Netflix)

Someone on Twitter told me that it would all make sense in the end, but all this show did was creep me out. I spent the first four episodes confused.

…and then when things finally started making sense, it went full Lifetime. There was a therapist who married his patient and wrote diaries on how his wife switched regularly with her identical twin sister. EXCUSE ME. Not only did he know, he was okay with it? I feel sorry for his patients.

Also, consent issues, much? The show kind of glosses over it. The only person who reacts appropriately to finding out the twins have been switching every year is their older sister – who was pushed Leni (the bad twin), but she thought it was Gina (the good one). When Gina tells her the truth, Older Sister was mad at her anyway.

Anyway, crazy as it is – everyone is going to get their comeuppance, right?

Wrong.

I won’t spoil the end, but…I don’t recommend this show.

Continue reading “how much tv is too much tv?”

Superman & Lois (Season 1-2)

Superman & Lois (The CW)

Note: I am angry that I am angry about a CW show with the word ‘Super’ in the year 2022. I THOUGHT I WAS PAST THIS.

Season 1 was SO GOOD. I don’t have much to say. The family moments were cute. Clark and Lois were cute. Superman was cute. Tyler was cute. Everything was on point. It wasn’t perfect, but it was entertaining, engaging and a fun way to embrace the Superman IP.

And then Season 2 entered the chat and crapped all over the place.

Continue reading “Superman & Lois (Season 1-2)”

california, here we come

I miss snarking about TV, so, for a limited time only, I have returned!

I’m joking. I never really left.

I just don’t hit ‘publish’. #draftsouttacontrol #arehashtagsstillcool?

The O.C.

Californiaaaa

Californiaaaaaaaaaa

HERE WE COOO-OOOO-MEEEE.

I started listening to the podcast with Summer and Julie Cooper but I don’t care enough about the show. I didn’t make it past the first episode. I did like the OC Dudes podcast (probably not what it’s called).

Anyway, SEASON 1 IS EVERYTHING! I wish they’d stopped there because it was not the same afterwards. Everything was just dramatic for no reason. And then they went and ruined Sandy for no good reason.

Continue reading “california, here we come”

that feeling when you’re all three

I haven’t thought about Supernatural since the prequel incident, but the cast have been going through it. Jared’s on a show most people haven’t heard of. Jensen was set to be in ‘Rust’ and that ended badly (to put it lightly).

Misha faded into obscurity.

Until now!

Somehow I am not surprised that the Supernatural cast find new ways to garner attention for all the wrong things.

I was surprised to find that I’d forgotten Misha even existed. I’m sad that this is no longer the case.

Anyway.

While speaking at a Supernatural fan convention, Misha very subtly came out as bisexual.”How many of you would consider yourself introverts?” Misha asked the crowd, in a video shared on Twitter.

“How many extroverts? “And how many bisexuals?”

At that last question, the audience started chanting and clapping, before Misha added, “I’m all three.”

From then, Misha moved on and didn’t bring up his sexuality again.

…okay, but what is he even try to say here? I saw somewhere that he confused ambivert for bisexual, but his real coming out (going back in?) statement makes it seem like he knew exactly what he was saying.

“I want to deeply apologize for misspeaking this weekend. At a fan convention in New Jersey, when I was talking with the audience I said that I was ‘all three’ things: an introvert, an extrovert and a bisexual. My clumsy intention was to wave off actually discussing my sexuality, but I badly fumbled that and understand that was seen as me coming out as bisexual.

“This was not my intention so I need to correct the record: I am not bisexual. I happen to be straight, but I am also a fierce ally and the last thing I want to do is falsely co-opt the struggles of the LGBTQIA+ community. I believe and fully support that we need to sanctify the human right to express our identities honestly and to be free to love whomever we choose openly.

“I am deeply sorry for the clumsiness of my language. I want to be a better ally and I feel sick to my stomach that I might have done anything to make things worse. I’m trying to learn, trying to do better and I will keep listening. Thanks and I’m sorry, Misha.”

I’m even more confused by the apology than I am over the original statement. Why didn’t he just jump on a couch like a normal person?

Anyway, so, the guy who’s spent the better part of the last decade queerbaiting fans, talking about having threesomes and doing whatever else suddenly wants to wave off discussing his sexuality? Okay. Fine. I get that (and personally, I’m in favour of him talking less about himself). Except…he did the opposite. It wasn’t clumsy. It could not have been more targeted and deliberate.

There can only be one logical conclusion.

He wanted attention. He wanted people to know that he still exists…and it worked. All he had to do was say the word ‘bisexual’ and hey presto! He was in the news. It probably went further than he was expecting it to considering he said it at a convention. Or maybe he’s playing 5D chess. We’ll never know (or care).

Enjoy your two minutes of infamy, Misha.

Celebrity Memoir Bookclub

I started listening to this podcast after Will Smith got into one little slap and started making trouble at the Oscars and at first, I really enjoyed it. The Will Smith episode was decent. I listened to another episode based on Yolanda Hadid’s book and that was good too. I assume that’s because they don’t necessarily have any personal feelings towards those people? They were able to be rational and reasonable. And focus on the book!

Anyway, I made it to the Jamie Lynn Spears episode and I must have missed the part where they’re comedians? Oh. Humour is in the ear (or mind) of the beholder. They preface the episode by saying that they used to have a Britney Spears podcast so I knew they would be pro-Britney, but…

It was just beyond mean. They way they spoke about JamieLynn was terrible. To the point where I turned it off and I don’t think I’ll be listening to it again. There were much better ways for them to get their point across. Even if they didn’t agree or they didn’t like the book, their reactions were over the top.

Coming from an outside perspective and as someone who knows the bare minimum about Britney, it was just too much. And I guess it opened up my eyes to how reactionary they are. They present their opinion as fact and I was kind of over it.

And their voices, oh my goodness me. There is no way they sound like that in real life? Imagine the worst valley girl accent and crank it up to a billion. It’s grating on the ears. It is way to high school for me.

I wonder if this is one of those podcasts where you need to cherry pick the episodes… or find another one that does the same thing with less bitchiness?

I know which option I’ll be picking.

Cobra Kai: Season 4

One Line Review: Season 4 starts off well before it devolves into an oddly paced, uneven show with too much focus on the newer characters; there is some pay off in the last two episodes, but they don’t fully make up for what was a disappointing season.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

Continue reading “Cobra Kai: Season 4”