jensen ackles

Obligatory ‘why is Supernatural still on?’ post.


Comic Con and Supernatural are two things I actively avoid, but apparently my news app (ironically called ‘SmartNews’) is having a funny turn today.

Just reading this article gave me a headache. Castiel is dead but not dead dead. Mary is gone but not gone gone. Dead Bobby is dead dead but might come back anyway. Sam and Dean won’t agree on something or other. Crowley is definitely gone (LOOOOOOLLLLLLL at the article and the comments).

The show is dead in the water but not truly dead in the water.

Jared Padalecki, knocking it out of the park and showing that he’s the CW’s FINEST! And the answer to the question is: make fun of your hair. 

Somehow they managed to pay Kansas enough money to perform, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

To conclude, nothing has changed and if you value your time, avoid the show. If you’re someone who has time to waste or problems letting go of fictional characters and/or poor judgement, by all means continue. (more…)

retrosnark: friday the 13th/my bloody valentine (2009)



Or basically, the post where I roast myself for my woeful recapping skills of 2009.

I was sifting through my Google Docs folder when I found the reviews I wrote right at the bottom.

I dived in, hoping for some amusement.

I got plenty of it.  (more…)

We’re waiting for a train


…and it just won’t come.

Even though we all knew it would happen, season 13 is officially a go. WOOOOOOO!!!!! And many more charity campaigns will be on the way too, I’m sure. Congratulation$, fandom.

I’ve lost interest in drumming up any outrage over this show, so I’ll leave any willing takers to do so on my behalf.

Or not.

At this point, we all have better things to be doing!

stupid and senseless: always keep fighting


First of all, Happy Christmas/Holidays/Can Anyone Be Bothered?, snarklings!

Onto the good stuff!

Recently I got a comment that claimed that the Supernatural fans are a family that comfort each other. They’re great people who are against bullying and they don’t offend anyone.

Perhaps that person can explain this 500+ word email that I received…

Name: UnimpressedAnon

Comment: OMG YOU NEED TO FUCK THE FUCK OFF. SHIT, I don’t think I have seen a more useless piece of garbage in my entire existence. I mean, who..what pathetic piece of shit would try start a blog for the sole purpose of badmouthing a television show.
I mean, seriously? Have people not told you this before, if you DON’T LIKE IT. STOP WATCHING IT. It’s that simple. Oh yeah, just try it, honey. God knows we don’t need any of you. The world doesn’t need any part of you. 
You have so much hatred and free useless time that you actually would take these thoughts and anger and use them against an actor or a show, and…I’m not even mad anymore. It’s just pathetic. And yeah..i should probably follow my own advice and leave it, but gosh, you have fucking compelled me to write this. ‘
SPN snark…stop encouraging this, you sick fuckup. This isn’t a huge global issue..like Donald Trump becoming President or the apparent rise in hate crimes, which I’m SURE don’t relate. BUt coming back to the topic on hand, People aren’t going to fall over and DIE because of this show, as far as I know, it’s a pretty good show ans the actors do a pretty damn good job of it, and this isn’t being said out of some blind devotion, or unyielding love. It’s the truth. And that’s my opinion and you have yours. There are things i don’t like either, know what the difference between you and me is, that I don’t have the stupidity or the audacity to actually start a hate blog about things I personally don’t like. So, guess what, suck it up and go do something positive with your life.(Some of the categories in your Other Stuff actually seem nice and sensible) and I don’t know for the life of me why those are included in the OTHER STUFF. You talk about distributing dignity, how is this, snarking, hating, getting together a community of haters to talk shit dignified or civil. IT’s not.
Do yourself a favour and just leave it, these actors/directors/writers do not care about your existence or rants. I doubt they even know you exist. They’re surrounded by love and care and they take that and they turn into good things, positive things. Campaigns,charities, Scavenger hunts. (Random Acts, Always Keep Fighting) 
But do you care about that, OH no ,because Jared’s twitter and Jensen’s fame and Misha’s popularity can only be used for trolling and stupid posts according to you. Look at them, actually look at them. They’ve made so much out of their lives, This particular show, infact has changed so many lives for the better. The entire SPN family has. How have you done that. How have your snark posts and hate comments changed any lives or transformed people. If they haven’t, It simply isn’t your place to talk shit about them.
Just help yourself, and stop encouraging this bullshit. And I obviously had a lot to say, you might not even read all of this . But if you do, I hope you can understand that this..THIS, isn’t just crap filled with sentences stating the perfection of the show fuelled by hormones or unwavering, blind love. Just advice.

I didn’t reply to UnimpressedAnon personally, but I have chosen to give them two things:

  • Their own stupid and senseless post.
  • The attention that Jared, Jensen and whoever will never give them.

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This is probably the best synopsis for SPN that I’ve read in recent times…


image

Especially the “picking fights” part.

It truly captures the pointlessness of the show effortlessly. Those of us with clear heads have long determined that the show is currently about two masochistic siblings who willingly walk into situations and then have emo fits about how hard their life choices are. Lest we forget that they were regularly committing credit card scams and killing meatsuits all while lecturing each other about being decent people and morals. I guess that was just them being smart. #TrumpLogic

If there was justice in TV world, Dean would quit hunting to become a male stripper and Sam would retire to the Berkshires and start a self-motivational podcast. #JustSayin

In other news, a friend sent me a link to this video of a bunch of celebrities reading Edgar Allen Poe’s work and the delightful Jared and Jensen feature in it.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t automatically cringe so hard that I almost pulled a muscle like I normally do when I encounter Jared Padalecki. I thought his reading was…inspired…by Jared Padalecki as Tahmoh Penikett as Gadreel. So, in a sense he was recycling and recycling is always good. Well. Maybe not on a TV show, but Jared probably doesn’t care too much about that. I will give him an A for Semi-Enthusiastic Facial Expressions and B for being able to do it beanie-free!

In the case of the extra delightful Jensen Ackles (and yes, that is sarcasm that you’re detecting), one thing I noted was that his facial expression mirrored my own when I’m trying to force myself to sit through an episode of Supernatural. I’m kind of happy that he seemingly felt the same torture, if only for a few seconds. However, his enthusiasm (or lack thereof) is on par with his current efforts (uh, or lack thereof – again) on Supernatural, so…

…it’s time for me to see myself out.


A topical post at last! And I might watch the season 11 episode ‘Baby’ at some point, so…there may be a recap soon.

snarkview: DEAD 7 (AKA The Backstreet Boys and [not really] Nsync movie)


Yes, as promised I am going to sort of recap and review Dead 7 for my one reader. Which is me, so. Self – this is for you. I took about 36 different screenshots during this shit, so this post will be image heavy. There are some NSFW ones, so that will all be under a cut. Sigh.


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Nick Carter provides us with a helpful voiceover that I sort of didn’t listen to. He’s playing someone called Jack and Joey Fatone is called Whiskey Joe. Oh, and Nick’s wife is in this too. Hopefully her acting is better her than it was on their reality show. There’s some kinda theme song that’s kinda cool. The villain appears to be a bald woman….thing…I don’t know, but she is called Apocalyptica.

 

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boo!

 

She kills some dude that she has locked in a cell. She kind of pulls some faces at him and turns him into a zombie by giving him what looks like a bite of a human kidney. Apparently he’s now the flesh of the undead. There is some evil laughter.

Oh…and this movie has chapters? Alright, Nick, I’mma let you begin at least.

STORY BY NICK CARTER. #WhatAboutEvilBlessingsNick?

AJ Maclean is riding around on a horse yelling, ‘Come on, we’ve got people to eat’. Somewhere, Brian and Kevin are just sitting back, silently thankful that they’re not in this mess. AJ Maclean and his band of zombies attack some kind of tavern. AJ’s idea of evil is basically manic laughter and white face paint. All that’s missing is a ‘Y SO SERIOUS?’. While AJ’N’Zombies are going crazy, a lone ranger is running around taking on zombies one at a time until his gun jams and someone called Daisy Jane (his girlfriend?) turns up to save him.

DAISY JANE? I’m surprised Nick didn’t call her Candy Cane, as a nod to Aaron. AJ shows up and  cackles incoherently. I can’t understand a word he’s saying because it’s just ‘mumble mumble he he he he he he he he he’. The lone ranger and Candy Cane gag him and…take him with them as opposed to killing him. In the jail house, AJ is talking coherently but saying all of the usual villainous guff and he he he he he he heeeee *bangs head on wall*. I’m 12 minutes in and that laughter is already REALLY annoying.

This is already worse than the five minutes of Minotaur that I had the misfortune of seeing. That was the same day my Tom Hardy marathon ended, FYI. It was some Meatloaf kind of realness. I’d watch anything for my crush-of-the-moment (but I won’t watch that).

Click ‘Continue Reading‘ for the rest of the post.

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You Are Not Alone…in us finding new ways to make you part with your money


That’s probably what Jensen and Misha should have called their latest campaign. Instead, it is merely called You Are Not Alone.

wtf2

This one is probably the most ridiculous campaign yet. And before anyone says anything, yeah, it sounds like a decent enough idea. At first. *points below* (more…)

Amusing search terms #3


I always love looking at the search terms in the stats section on here – mostly because the stuff that people put into Google is kind of funny. Some of these might be repeats from #1 (I can’t find the post!) and #2 because WordPress has screwed around with the stats page. Siiiiigh.

First of all I have to start with this:

mitch pileggi eyebrows

Why? Why would anyone search this? His eyebrows are terrifying. Someone could literally write a horror movie with his eyebrows as the monster and we would all be genuinely scared. No points for you, anonymous searcher!

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snarkview: 10×06, the bullshit meter is full


s-v

Well. I haven’t seen the show since November so all I remember is that Dean was a demon and then he wasn’t. Dean also had a prospective murderer named Cole. Dean was still dealing with the effects of the Mark of Disdain. Dean broke up with Crowley.

And I’m guessing that the main complaint before next season starts will be that Dean never has a storyline.

This will probably be all over the place. Like always. It’s what the show deserves.
(more…)