The Winchesters has been cancelled

I had completely forgotten about it to be honest. Supernatural dropped into a black hole for me long before it ended. And anyway, the drama surrounding the spin-off was more interesting than the concept itself.

Like, THAT’S the show I would have made.

Two actors. Two honorary brothers. Forced apart by destiny. AND SHOWBIZ! Join us as we navigate a world full of betrayal, overzealous fans, and a wide-ranging lack of ideas. Twelve episodes of Jensen working round the clock to put a TV show together while Jared storms around town trying to shut the entire thing down. Solid entertainment.

Anyway, did anyone watch this show? Was it good? Okay, so that’s a dumb question. Was it so bad it was good?

I see that Jensen is campaigning for it to be saved but…if it’s not on The CW, is there any point?

Talk about being happy for your friends…

… or not, in the case of….Jared Padalecki who had this to say when Jensen tweeted about his Supernatural spin-off…

I saw his tweet and thought nothing of it. Yes, the last line was a little bit strong, but I don’t know what kind of friendship they have. Well…Turns out he really didn’t hear about it from JA first.

I wish I could say I had a better reaction but I literally started laughing when I saw the second tweet.

ETA: He even went after one of the writers involved in the spin-off (and wisely deleted it – credit goes to the person on Twitter who took a screenshot!)

Why is he like this?

Upon further inspection, I see I missed key signs in the first tweet. The lack of exclamation! The weird line breaks (why is he tweeting like this? Why can I picture him furiously smashing his enter key?!).

The ‘Sam Winchester had no involvement whatsoever‘ is clearly code for himself because it doesn’t make sense.

Surely, he meant (LOL) Sam Winchester isn’t involved in any way whatsoever?

Anyway, I’ll be fair to Jared. It does seem like a bit of a dick move on Jensen’s part to do this without at least a heads up? Although, I’ve been telling you all he’s a dick for years now so I’m not surprised.

On the flip side maybe Jared’s reaction is why he wasn’t told? He could have just wished Jensen well and then messaged him privately and we’d be none the wiser – until he inevitably had a fifty tweet rant about it.

At the very least, I’d feel more sympathy if he wasn’t constantly doing the most. Dramatic as he may be, he’s not necessarily in the wrong here.

Jensen, bro, what’s going on?

What was so bad that you couldn’t call Jared and be all like, “So, I’m creating a spin-off of the show we’ve been on together for the last fifteen years. I’m going to be narrating. You’re… well, you’re not in it at all actually, and uh…”

…I guess it would have been an awkward conversation to have.

Somebody update me on this mess because I doubt I’ll be keeping up. I only saw the original tweet Jensen posted by accident.

… and I literally finished work and somehow the blog has its highest daily hits since I started it ten years ago. I have no idea how or why, but uh… thanks? It’s nice to know the hours I wasted writing these posts weren’t for nothing thanks to Jared’s complete lack of filter on Twitter.

Apparently Jared did what he should have done in the first place and all is well again.

….I don’t even have the energy to mock all this brothers nonsense. Clearly, the friendship runs deeper on one side.

stupid and senseless: the tone deaf edition

I don’t bother with stupid and senseless much anymore because anything Supernatural related has been declared persona non grata for some time. I am not interested anymore.

That being said, any opportunity to call out the continued assholery and hypocrisy of the fandom and actors is good with me. The sooner these people disappear from the internet, the better.

stupid and senseless: curated by Jared and Jensen

Let me just start off by saying that my language is colourful in this post. I could edit it out but I want everyone to see just how ridiculous I found this when I saw it.

So, I accidentally clicked onto my Twitter timeline and I saw this:

It's going down in just an hour and two!!!! https://t.co/OJwNxrXz37

— Jared Padalecki (@jarpad) September 22, 2017

I clicked onto her tweet and LAUGHED MY HEAD OFF.

“CURATED.”FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS?

Value: Priceless

I was really tickled pink.

That was before I saw what the unlucky (and stupid) fan will be paying for:

Is this a joke?

Swag, memorabilia and….Personal Polaroid pictures taken from set (why the addition of the word personal? Are they sending dick pics?).

You might as well save your $4k. 

Not even a set visit? Fucking FaceTime? What if you don’t have an iPhone or iPad? That’s a serious question. So I have to find someone and borrow their device because I’ve paid four thousand dollars for a video call that’s usually free. Lol. Fuck outta here.

Although, anyone silly enough to drop four grand on this foolishness would probably buy an iPhone if they don’t have one already.

The sheer brazenness of these people is disgusting.

What’s a fan got to do to get some real face time, though? Donate a kidney (+ transportation and their own medical costs?)

The replies are full of people saying they can’t afford it because they’re:

• Broke
• Not rich
• Paying for cons already

The last point had me rolling my eyes. None of these people have any common sense. They will be crying about con tickets while paying exorbitant prices. It was quite funny but sad at the same time.

WHERE IS THE LOGIC?

How can you complain when you have shown these people that you have bottomless pockets. Some of you will borrow money from people to spend one minute in the presence of these people and listen to them talk about their lives for two hours. Some of you will work multiple jobs to afford this shit. Some of you will complain after attending these things only to go again the next year. 

One strategically tweeted #SPNFamily and everyone is rushing forward with open wallets.

All Jared and Jensen see is dollar signs. So excuse me for not having any sympathy.

What is wrong with you people?

Why are you entertaining this madness? You have been donating money to these people on a monthly basis for years now. Years. They will not stop taking your money until you stop giving them your money. Meanwhile, their money (mostly) isn’t going anywhere but the bank. The bank. Please have some respect for yourselves.

Like my friend put it:

Fools and their money. The guys probably came up with this scheme to pay for half of a teeth bleaching session.

Someone will have to tell me what the final bid was but $4k is probably what Genevieve spends on one ugly blouse per shopping session. Why would you donate money in the name of people who don’t value money in the first place. For all of the money fandom has collectively donated, how much have the guys and the wives donated? Have any of you demanded receipts?

Do any of you have at least one functioning brain cell?

If you do – please use it. I don’t really care, I just hate being exposed to such stupidity. Just seeing it makes my head hurt. If that makes me a hater, feel free to let me know. I will wear my title with pride.

Note to Jared and Jensen: 

Please curate Supernatural’s cancellation charity raffle (at this point you might as well bleed fandom dry). Haven’t we all suffered enough? Let the show die a peaceful death already. Please. 

To conclude: UGH.

Obligatory ‘why is Supernatural still on?’ post.

Comic Con and Supernatural are two things I actively avoid, but apparently my news app (ironically called ‘SmartNews’) is having a funny turn today.

Just reading this article gave me a headache. Castiel is dead but not dead dead. Mary is gone but not gone gone. Dead Bobby is dead dead but might come back anyway. Sam and Dean won’t agree on something or other. Crowley is definitely gone (LOOOOOOLLLLLLL at the article and the comments).

The show is dead in the water but not truly dead in the water.

Jared Padalecki, knocking it out of the park and showing that he’s the CW’s FINEST! And the answer to the question is: make fun of your hair. 

Somehow they managed to pay Kansas enough money to perform, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

To conclude, nothing has changed and if you value your time, avoid the show. If you’re someone who has time to waste or problems letting go of fictional characters and/or poor judgement, by all means continue.

retrosnark: friday the 13th/my bloody valentine (2009)

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Or basically, the post where I roast myself for my woeful recapping skills of 2009.

I was sifting through my Google Docs folder when I found the reviews I wrote right at the bottom.

I dived in, hoping for some amusement.

I got plenty of it. 

We’re waiting for a train

…and it just won’t come.

Season 13, here we come!!! Thanks to all those who have kept us going this long…what a life changing ride it has been. #SPNFamily forever!

— Jensen Ackles (@JensenAckles) January 8, 2017

Congratulations #SPNFamily … you did it 🙂 #SPN13 https://t.co/4hkWnG8VTJ

— Jared Padalecki (@jarpad) January 8, 2017

Even though we all knew it would happen, season 13 is officially a go. WOOOOOOO!!!!! And many more charity campaigns will be on the way too, I’m sure. Congratulation$, fandom.

I’ve lost interest in drumming up any outrage over this show, so I’ll leave any willing takers to do so on my behalf.

Or not.

At this point, we all have better things to be doing!

stupid and senseless: always keep fighting

First of all, Happy Christmas/Holidays/Can Anyone Be Bothered?, snarklings!

Onto the good stuff!

Recently I got a comment that claimed that the Supernatural fans are a family that comfort each other. They’re great people who are against bullying and they don’t offend anyone.

Perhaps that person can explain this 500+ word email that I received…

Name: UnimpressedAnon

Comment: OMG YOU NEED TO FUCK THE FUCK OFF. SHIT, I don’t think I have seen a more useless piece of garbage in my entire existence. I mean, who..what pathetic piece of shit would try start a blog for the sole purpose of badmouthing a television show.
I mean, seriously? Have people not told you this before, if you DON’T LIKE IT. STOP WATCHING IT. It’s that simple. Oh yeah, just try it, honey. God knows we don’t need any of you. The world doesn’t need any part of you. 
You have so much hatred and free useless time that you actually would take these thoughts and anger and use them against an actor or a show, and…I’m not even mad anymore. It’s just pathetic. And yeah..i should probably follow my own advice and leave it, but gosh, you have fucking compelled me to write this. ‘
SPN snark…stop encouraging this, you sick fuckup. This isn’t a huge global issue..like Donald Trump becoming President or the apparent rise in hate crimes, which I’m SURE don’t relate. BUt coming back to the topic on hand, People aren’t going to fall over and DIE because of this show, as far as I know, it’s a pretty good show ans the actors do a pretty damn good job of it, and this isn’t being said out of some blind devotion, or unyielding love. It’s the truth. And that’s my opinion and you have yours. There are things i don’t like either, know what the difference between you and me is, that I don’t have the stupidity or the audacity to actually start a hate blog about things I personally don’t like. So, guess what, suck it up and go do something positive with your life.(Some of the categories in your Other Stuff actually seem nice and sensible) and I don’t know for the life of me why those are included in the OTHER STUFF. You talk about distributing dignity, how is this, snarking, hating, getting together a community of haters to talk shit dignified or civil. IT’s not.
Do yourself a favour and just leave it, these actors/directors/writers do not care about your existence or rants. I doubt they even know you exist. They’re surrounded by love and care and they take that and they turn into good things, positive things. Campaigns,charities, Scavenger hunts. (Random Acts, Always Keep Fighting) 
But do you care about that, OH no ,because Jared’s twitter and Jensen’s fame and Misha’s popularity can only be used for trolling and stupid posts according to you. Look at them, actually look at them. They’ve made so much out of their lives, This particular show, infact has changed so many lives for the better. The entire SPN family has. How have you done that. How have your snark posts and hate comments changed any lives or transformed people. If they haven’t, It simply isn’t your place to talk shit about them.
Just help yourself, and stop encouraging this bullshit. And I obviously had a lot to say, you might not even read all of this . But if you do, I hope you can understand that this..THIS, isn’t just crap filled with sentences stating the perfection of the show fuelled by hormones or unwavering, blind love. Just advice.

I didn’t reply to UnimpressedAnon personally, but I have chosen to give them two things:

• Their own stupid and senseless post.
• The attention that Jared, Jensen and whoever will never give them.

This is probably the best synopsis for SPN that I’ve read in recent times…

Especially the “picking fights” part.

It truly captures the pointlessness of the show effortlessly. Those of us with clear heads have long determined that the show is currently about two masochistic siblings who willingly walk into situations and then have emo fits about how hard their life choices are. Lest we forget that they were regularly committing credit card scams and killing meatsuits all while lecturing each other about being decent people and morals. I guess that was just them being smart. #TrumpLogic

If there was justice in TV world, Dean would quit hunting to become a male stripper and Sam would retire to the Berkshires and start a self-motivational podcast. #JustSayin

In other news, a friend sent me a link to this video of a bunch of celebrities reading Edgar Allen Poe’s work and the delightful Jared and Jensen feature in it.

For the first time in a long time, I didn’t automatically cringe so hard that I almost pulled a muscle like I normally do when I encounter Jared Padalecki. I thought his reading was…inspired…by Jared Padalecki as Tahmoh Penikett as Gadreel. So, in a sense he was recycling and recycling is always good. Well. Maybe not on a TV show, but Jared probably doesn’t care too much about that. I will give him an A for Semi-Enthusiastic Facial Expressions and B for being able to do it beanie-free!

In the case of the extra delightful Jensen Ackles (and yes, that is sarcasm that you’re detecting), one thing I noted was that his facial expression mirrored my own when I’m trying to force myself to sit through an episode of Supernatural. I’m kind of happy that he seemingly felt the same torture, if only for a few seconds. However, his enthusiasm (or lack thereof) is on par with his current efforts (uh, or lack thereof – again) on Supernatural, so…

…it’s time for me to see myself out.

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A topical post at last! And I might watch the season 11 episode ‘Baby’ at some point, so…there may be a recap soon.

snarkview: DEAD 7 (AKA The Backstreet Boys and [not really] Nsync movie)

Yes, as promised I am going to sort of recap and review Dead 7 for my one reader. Which is me, so. Self – this is for you. I took about 36 different screenshots during this shit, so this post will be image heavy. There are some NSFW ones, so that will all be under a cut. Sigh.

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Nick Carter provides us with a helpful voiceover that I sort of didn’t listen to. He’s playing someone called Jack and Joey Fatone is called Whiskey Joe. Oh, and Nick’s wife is in this too. Hopefully her acting is better her than it was on their reality show. There’s some kinda theme song that’s kinda cool. The villain appears to be a bald woman….thing…I don’t know, but she is called Apocalyptica.

 

boo!

 

She kills some dude that she has locked in a cell. She kind of pulls some faces at him and turns him into a zombie by giving him what looks like a bite of a human kidney. Apparently he’s now the flesh of the undead. There is some evil laughter.

Oh…and this movie has chapters? Alright, Nick, I’mma let you begin at least.

STORY BY NICK CARTER. #WhatAboutEvilBlessingsNick?

AJ Maclean is riding around on a horse yelling, ‘Come on, we’ve got people to eat’. Somewhere, Brian and Kevin are just sitting back, silently thankful that they’re not in this mess. AJ Maclean and his band of zombies attack some kind of tavern. AJ’s idea of evil is basically manic laughter and white face paint. All that’s missing is a ‘Y SO SERIOUS?’. While AJ’N’Zombies are going crazy, a lone ranger is running around taking on zombies one at a time until his gun jams and someone called Daisy Jane (his girlfriend?) turns up to save him.

DAISY JANE? I’m surprised Nick didn’t call her Candy Cane, as a nod to Aaron. AJ shows up and  cackles incoherently. I can’t understand a word he’s saying because it’s just ‘mumble mumble he he he he he he he he he’. The lone ranger and Candy Cane gag him and…take him with them as opposed to killing him. In the jail house, AJ is talking coherently but saying all of the usual villainous guff and he he he he he he heeeee *bangs head on wall*. I’m 12 minutes in and that laughter is already REALLY annoying.

This is already worse than the five minutes of Minotaur that I had the misfortune of seeing. That was the same day my Tom Hardy marathon ended, FYI. It was some Meatloaf kind of realness. I’d watch anything for my crush-of-the-moment (but I won’t watch that).

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