Tom Hardy, modern day vigilante

So this happened…

Hollywood superstar Tom Hardy chased down and helped snare a moped thief after pursuing him through gardens and across a building site in south west London.

A witness said the Hollywood actor “switched into superhero mode” as he collared the man before checking him for weapons after the chase.

He sprinted through gardens and a building site before grabbing the thief by the scruff of the neck, and declaring, “I caught the c***,” said a witness.

This story amused me greatly, lol. 

My first thought that he was probably method acting or putting some kind of future building climbing movie montage training into action, and my second was that he’s lucky he lives in Richmond (nice, posh, affluent area). You can never be certain what people are carrying on them these days. Hollywood training or not, I’m leaving the chasing and sprinting to the police, thanks.

Anyway, kids, please don’t try this at home! Leave the c*** capturing to Tom! 

snarkview: DEAD 7 (AKA The Backstreet Boys and [not really] Nsync movie)

Yes, as promised I am going to sort of recap and review Dead 7 for my one reader. Which is me, so. Self – this is for you. I took about 36 different screenshots during this shit, so this post will be image heavy. There are some NSFW ones, so that will all be under a cut. Sigh.


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Nick Carter provides us with a helpful voiceover that I sort of didn’t listen to. He’s playing someone called Jack and Joey Fatone is called Whiskey Joe. Oh, and Nick’s wife is in this too. Hopefully her acting is better her than it was on their reality show. There’s some kinda theme song that’s kinda cool. The villain appears to be a bald woman….thing…I don’t know, but she is called Apocalyptica.

 

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boo!

 

She kills some dude that she has locked in a cell. She kind of pulls some faces at him and turns him into a zombie by giving him what looks like a bite of a human kidney. Apparently he’s now the flesh of the undead. There is some evil laughter.

Oh…and this movie has chapters? Alright, Nick, I’mma let you begin at least.

STORY BY NICK CARTER. #WhatAboutEvilBlessingsNick?

AJ Maclean is riding around on a horse yelling, ‘Come on, we’ve got people to eat’. Somewhere, Brian and Kevin are just sitting back, silently thankful that they’re not in this mess. AJ Maclean and his band of zombies attack some kind of tavern. AJ’s idea of evil is basically manic laughter and white face paint. All that’s missing is a ‘Y SO SERIOUS?’. While AJ’N’Zombies are going crazy, a lone ranger is running around taking on zombies one at a time until his gun jams and someone called Daisy Jane (his girlfriend?) turns up to save him.

DAISY JANE? I’m surprised Nick didn’t call her Candy Cane, as a nod to Aaron. AJ shows up and  cackles incoherently. I can’t understand a word he’s saying because it’s just ‘mumble mumble he he he he he he he he he’. The lone ranger and Candy Cane gag him and…take him with them as opposed to killing him. In the jail house, AJ is talking coherently but saying all of the usual villainous guff and he he he he he he heeeee *bangs head on wall*. I’m 12 minutes in and that laughter is already REALLY annoying.

This is already worse than the five minutes of Minotaur that I had the misfortune of seeing. That was the same day my Tom Hardy marathon ended, FYI. It was some Meatloaf kind of realness. I’d watch anything for my crush-of-the-moment (but I won’t watch that).

Click ‘Continue Reading‘ for the rest of the post.

Continue reading “snarkview: DEAD 7 (AKA The Backstreet Boys and [not really] Nsync movie)”

I am officially no longer a fan of anything*

This is kind of a response to this: Vision. Fans all have different visions etc. Yeah. Anyway. Rant incoming.

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*Well, except for Manchester United, Chris Hemsworth, certain boybands and Simon Baker. And Tom Hardy on the days when he doesn’t annoy the shit out of me (I am pretty sure most of what he says is just pseudo-babble).

Anyway, for the sake of this post I will mostly refer to football/soccer fans because they’ve really captured my disdain for ‘fans’. At least with SPN, there’s the ‘these people have [insert adjective] fantasies about [insert annoying person affiliated with SPN]’ aspect. It’s stupid but whatever. They’re gullible consumers and whatnot.

Either way, sports fans don’t really have that excuse. Man-crushes don’t count.

Anyway, I used to read the Guardian for sports comments. Basically, I’m the kind of football fan that spends two hours POSTING IN CAPS on Twitter and after that, I go into lurk mode. I stopped reading the Guardian Sports section because it was just full of silly opinion pieces in which the writers would argue against points that they had been writing about for weeks. There was also an aggressive campaign to get a manager fired which was distasteful. In the end, the amount of rage said manager (of my team, no less!) generated was hilarious to me (well, not during matches). They also have this annoying habit of not linking sources. I get it, they have a business to run but it is kind of frustrating to read an article that assumes the readers knows what the fuck they’re talking about it despite providing no information. They do it a lot and I am over it.

So I started using r/soccer, which is basically the subreddit for everything soccer related. I actually started off at the sub for my team but it was very all late teens/early males’ ish and kind of hilariously bad so I switched to r/soccer.

It’s even worse. Continue reading “I am officially no longer a fan of anything*”

Legend (2015)

I recall being sort of excited about Legend before but the novelty of Double Tom Hardy wore off around the time the movie came out. Probably because I remembered why I don’t really fangirl over any of these people anymore. There are a myriad of reasons why I never made an attempt to see it, but I won’t even go into it. Actors are actors and real people who suck as much as the rest of us. It would be really great if society didn’t pretend that wasn’t the case, but what can you do? All I can do personally is take everything and everyone at face value and judge them by what’s on the screen because the only thing ‘real’ about most actors is the fact that they’re acting.

Anyway, soapbox aside, I wasn’t very sold on the concept of this movie for several reasons. The first being that The Krays story has been told many, many times and it isn’t even an interesting story. They were gangsters. They did gangster stuff. One was a little bit ‘off his rocker’ and they both ended up in jail. And as I suspected, the writer did his best to ‘humanize’ at least one of them, to the point where it was almost kind of jarring when he went kind of crazy. Perhaps that was the point, but again, I was really just wondering what the story was here. Continue reading “Legend (2015)”

sort of stupid and senseless: tom hardy

It pains me to do this, but I am an equal opportunity bitch, so. Last week I saw these tweets from a film critic about Tom on ONTD. Read from bottom to top. Continue reading “sort of stupid and senseless: tom hardy”

The Revenant | Official Teaser Trailer

More Tom Hardy. Woo! But this trailer literally tells me nothing. I guess it is just a teaser. Though all I can see is that some guys are shooting at other guys, it looks like it could be interesting.

Tom Hardy has interesting facial hair. Leonardo DiCaprio has interesting facial hair and interesting hair in general. I can’t tell if it’s real or weave. Or man extensions. Whatever you call them. Meave.

The setting is kind of nice to look at. I can’t remember where they filmed this now but all I know about this movie is that there was a lot of drama on set. And that Tom may or may not have punched/choked the director.

To conclude, I kind of want to see a movie of the set more than I want to see the actual movie, lol.

This Means War (2012)

I watched this movie again recently and I was kind of bemused at how terrible it is. It should probably be called This Means Catfish. Or This Is Creepy. I don’t know. I only watched it for Tom Hardy because this is the one movie where he’s not bulked up to the high heavens and speaking in an awful accent (I’ve gotta keep it real with you, Tom).

Continue reading “This Means War (2012)”