bad movies

5 Useful Inventions


Guys, I’ve officially run out of things to snark about. I don’t even hate watch anything anymore. I just read the news and watch things that I like. This is no way to live so I will have to rectify that.

*Googles ‘bad movies 2013’*

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Bad Moviethon #5 – Daredevil (2003)


Daredevil | 2003 | IMDB

Synopsis: A man blinded by toxic waste which also enhanced his remaining senses fights crime as an acrobatic martial arts superhero.

Rotten tomatoes score: 44℅

Review excerpt: 

Torn between moody grandiosity and cartoonish mayhem, Daredevil tries to have it both ways, and succeeds at neither.


Batman & Robin continues to elude me but I caught this on TV last week was inspired to blog about it. Sort of. 

I don’t even need to recap. This movie is garbage

I used to think that people were being unnecessarily harsh about it, but no, it’s bad. The only thing I liked was hearing Won’t Back Down by Fuel in the closing credits. That’s my song! Teenage me probably loved the movie’s soundtrack but overall, the film itself was a mess. It was boring and somewhat nonsensical. Colin Farrell was really cheesy as Bullseye. I have no idea what that first ninja battle scene with Elektra and Daredevil was. Or whichever one happened near that kids playground. I was just shuddering due to the cringe. Not to mention the whole ‘stay‘ thing as it’s raining buckets. UGH. 

The movie is basically like one long Evanescence music video, complete with the soundtrack. 

I don’t even know how Daredevil managed to survive after Elektra almost killed him. Or how he managed to catch up with the Kingpin. It was like time slowed down for me but not the movie? If that makes sense. It barely held my attention.

On the flip side, I suppose it isn’t completely worthless. The visual effects weren’t bad. It makes for good background noise/minor entertainment and there are probably worse movies out there. Like Playing It Cool (I’m still processing just how bad that movie was). 

Anyway, based on this, I can only imagine how bad Affleck’s Batman is. I haven’t seen Batman vs. Superman but I hear that it wasn’t great. How surprising. I suppose the upside is that Affleck still has the perfect jawline for the role. 

Bad Moviethon #4: The Perfect Match


(POTENTIALLY)

BAD MOVIE MARATHON #4

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

[Previous movie]

The Perfect Match | 2016 | imdb

Summary: A playboy named Charlie, convinced that all his relationships are dead, meets the beautiful and mysterious Eva. Agreeing to a casual affair, Charlie then wants a bit more from their relationship. (more…)

retrosnark: friday the 13th/my bloody valentine (2009)



Or basically, the post where I roast myself for my woeful recapping skills of 2009.

I was sifting through my Google Docs folder when I found the reviews I wrote right at the bottom.

I dived in, hoping for some amusement.

I got plenty of it.  (more…)

Bad Movie Marathon #3: ‘Playing It Cool (2014)’ or the one where I abandoned the recap. 


pbmm

(POTENTIALLY)

BAD MOVIE MARATHON #3

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

[previous movie]

I was going to watch Gigli next but I literally burst into laughter and repeated ‘I can’t do it’ about four time so. Expect a recap of that. I have issues. But right now my next pick is Batman & Robin!


This is the slowest marathon ever, I apologise.

Anyway! (more…)

Bad Movie Marathon #2: Scooby-Doo (2004)


pbmm

(POTENTIALLY)

BAD MOVIE MARATHON #2

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

[previous movie]


Scooby-Doo | 2002

Yup. You read that right, lol.

scooby-doo_poster

Zoinks! Two years after a clash of egos forced Mystery Inc. to close its doors, Scooby-Doo and his clever crime-solving cohorts Fred (Freddie Prinze Jr.), Daphne (Sarah Michelle Gellar), Shaggy (Matthew Lillard) and Velma (Linda Cardellini) are individually summoned to Spooky Island to investigate a series of paranormal incidents at the ultra-hip Spring Break hot spot.

scooby-doo-di-2

Rotten Tomatoes rating: 30%

Review excerpt: The acting is stiff, the story lacks all trace of wit, the sets look like they were borrowed from Gilligan’s Island — and the CGI Scooby might well be the worst special-effects creation of the year. (more…)

Film Reviews: ‘Edge Of Winter’, ‘Pacific Rim’ & ‘The Boy Next Door’


I don’t know why every movie I end up seeing is pants, but well. Apparently I am drawn to pants.
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