retrosnark: friday the 13th/my bloody valentine (2009)



Or basically, the post where I roast myself for my woeful recapping skills of 2009.

I was sifting through my Google Docs folder when I found the reviews I wrote right at the bottom.

I dived in, hoping for some amusement.

I got plenty of it. 

Friday the 13th 

First of all, this movie was terrible. I knew it when I went out and saw it, knew it when I downloaded the shaky cam version, knew it when I re-downloaded it. Knew it when I realised I’d never spend another dime on it.

But my recap. My recap. My eleven-page long recap! I am not sure how I managed to write one page let alone eleven.

Most of it is me basically saying how cute Jared looked but parts of it are just nonsensical. I’m not sure if that’s down to my teenage brain or the fact that the movie was shit. Probably a combination of both.

Now, eleven pages is one thing but I have an additional three page review wherein I ordered the deaths. Yes. I ordered the deaths in terms of favouritism.

I don’t know if that was me reaching or something people do for horror movies? I haven’t watched one in a LONG time.

Highlights from the recap (and you know that I was bringing the snark back then too, LOL):

Lotion girl stops and says that she can hear something and she thinks that GPS dude is watching them. (So they are doing it in a tent in the middle of the woods and she is worried about someone watching…oh please)

Yeah, I didn’t learn many (or any?) of the characters names so Lotion Girl is referred to as Lotion Girl for all eleven pages.

LOL and then we see Jared riding his bike down the longest road…(LMAO…we started laughing…I was like WTF get a car!’ ) and he gets pulled over by a the one cop that this town has lol and (we were like laughing so much and were like ‘It’s not like he was going fast…’)

My friends and I basically spent much of this movie cracking up, yet, I still insist that it’s really good all throughout the recap. I’m such a liar, LMAO.

Then he finds….a hockey stick and he plays pretend hockey as well….and he breaks the window at the top of the shed by accident and he tries to hide the glass and omg he is so adorable. But yeah Jason appears at some point and the asian dude is just like ‘What, that’s not funny…’ and he is just talking LOL and the Jason uses some sort of pole and he shoves it through is neck into his throat….bye.

I love how this guy was so adorable that I was just like, ‘oh, well, you’re dead now – bye! I also have no recollection of this scene. Or most of the movie. Oops.

Anyway, around page six, I seem to get the hint that I have afforded too many words to a movie of this calibre.

THIS IS SO LONG!! I MEAN OMG. YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ ALL OF IT! I THINK I GOT TOO CARRIED AWAY, LOL I HAVEN’T EVEN SAID WHAT I THINK YET

Probably because I wasn’t thinking anything past OMG, JARED!!

I also decided to drop in some knowledge.

Jared Padalecki has been raving about this death since they finished filming on June 13 (a Friday lol!)

I was such a ridiculous fangirl that it’s beyond embarrassing. I’m forever finding old things and just laughing at how stupid I sounded. LOL. And actually when I first watched this I thought Jared’s character would die and I was literally just in bits.

Obviously that made it into the recap.

Then Whitney is like let’s go and they run off and they run down the tunnel and like Jared knocks down something and sets the whole place on fire (Oooh fire no.2) .

First of all, look how excited I was about fire no.2? I have no idea what I was on. I swear that I’m not a pyromaniac.

I started screaming because I was scared that Jared would die and I decided that seeing as I wasn’t scared I might as well scream for Jared lol and because I am weird.

I was scared but not scared? WHAT? Fangirl teen brain, y’all. Logic need not apply.

I was so jumpy at this point because Jason can still turn up and kill Jared!

….and then I was back to being scared (but the kind where I’m laughing).

My favourite part is the last line

And like obviously the end is so obvious but even I got a little freaked….it’s so clichéd but still unexpected!!!

LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!

….it was cliched but….unexpected? Girl, you tripping! And three LOVE ITs? Really?

Anyway, my review was a lot more serious and less fangirlish.

I love the originality of some of the deaths. They were just brutal and that is how it should be. And Jason. I love Jason. He is just so awesome. That mask is just so awesome. I really want one!!!

….I can confirm that I never bought one of those masks.

It only got interesting when Jason turned up and killed everyone! That was awesome.

Everything was awesome.

Oh, one thing I forgot to mention about the recap. I numbered all of the scenes that contained nudity. That is the most hilarious thing to read. I’m just like, ‘remember that girl from nudity 4?’ LMAO.

Nudity 1 and 2 was okay I guess although a bit too early on in the movie for my liking.

Oh god, too early! The jokes write themselves.

The opening killed me. It was Jared-less, long, boring…..did I say long? I mean yeah it set the tone of the movie…sort of like slow, real slow and then sudden action but it went on for far too long. It only got interesting when Jason turned up and killed everyone! That was awesome.

Everything really was awesome. Why didn’t someone get me a thesaurus?

After I rank the deaths, I went on to finally offer a summary.

I don’t think this movie will further Jared’s career that much but it’s a pretty good horror film and he was great. I think I said earlier that he was maybe a bit too good for the movie itself, but all the same that can only make the character more sincere which it did and we know that Jared is complete master!

*dead*

….I love how the recap is basically LOL THIS HAPPENED but then I’m so serious about the movie, lmao. Or Jared in the movie.

Thank fuck I’m over all of that nonsense.

My Bloody Valentine

This review is a respectable four pages long because I was a more laid-back Jensen fan.

Lol I can barely remember this.

….and the award for How Not To Start A Review goes to….me.

A bunch of kids (like adults playing teens!!) are partying in the mine because they are stupid.

#snark!

I’d rather have a quick opening that one that goes on forever. I didn’t like the whole 30 year olds playing teens and they think that putting a cap on and dressing in ‘teen’ clothes makes it believable.

*dead* Well, okay then.

This one is short because I seemed to just get down to it, lol.

When you are watching it it’s not so obvious who the killer is but like as the death toll rises you can tell. Who is always popping pills just before a murder happens? Who is never seen just after or just before a murder? Or who ‘disappears’ while the murders are being carried. So it was so obvious that the killer was [redacted]

So…It IS obvious who the killer is? I’m all over the place opinion wise…and then by the end,  I seem to have done a 180 and the movie is now really good!

I haven’t seen the original version so I can’t compare them but I thought that it was really good and really hilarious. I didn’t find it scary at all but I can see how it would be scary. It won’t win any awards or propel Jensen to international stardom but it was still amazing to see Jensen on the big screen and he looked amazing although he wore that coat over a hoodie and it looked wrong.

It really sounds like I’m trying to convince myself that this doesn’t suck. Everything was amazing apart from the coat over the hoodie (WHAT A TRAGEDY!)

And seriously, what was with my obsession with these guys and their quest for international stardom *dead* They’ve clearly made it already.

By the end of the review, I’m really reaching…

I like the way it was shot as well…and how the mine that caused the town so much trouble was the one thing holding it together….they all wanted the mine to remain theirs…it’s weird. But I liked that…the love triangle was interesting too!

I know damn well I didn’t pay attention to how it was shot. LOL. 

While I was full of praise for Jared, I had this to say about the acting in this movie.

In terms of acting none of it was special. I mean Jensen was good, but his acting was basic. It was very one dimensional apart from the end.

WHY AM I SO SERIOUS ABOUT IT??

Look, it’s a horror film, Snarky. All they have to do is run, look pretty and say their lines on time.

All in all, while my reviews were like YAY HOT GUYS in reality, both movies were hilariously bad. It’s also hilariously bad that I went from LOL-ing through both movies to basically writing long-winded reviews on how amazing both movies were because I liked the guys (be thankful that I spared you from the fawning!).

Oh dear, oh dear. Thank goodness that I learnt how to be objective. Well. Kinda.

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32 comments

  1. LMAO you’re hilarious. Re Friday the 13th – was boring at the start b/c it was Jared-less but then Jared turned up, and then it was awesome lol. And you loved all the deaths, as long as they weren’t Jared’s – stay away from the fire Jared! + this is only scary b/c Jared could still die. Plus Jared’s a bit too good for this film b/c as everyone knows he’s a complete master hahaha.

    Yeah, you’ve always got to throw in something like ‘it was well shot’ to deflect from the obvious single/solitary/sole reason you’re watching/reviewing this.

    At least you’ve wised up. I still think Jared’s smoking & could probably wax lyrical for 11 pages about his cheekbones, dimples, eyebrows etc, on the pretence that I am just cough reviewing a cough amazing film. And I have no excuse – not a teenager & I know (I know, I know) what an absolute tosser he is & how his acting is comprised entirely of nose flaring.

    I haven’t seen either film but I did watch just the final scene of My Bloody Valentine on YouTube, where Jensen walks out of the mine & takes off his helmet/mask. That has got to be one of the worst pieces of acting I have ever seen. Here – https://youtu.be/j1GXbz280k4?t=14 What was he doing with his face?!

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    1. Thanks! Lol the entire recap was a complete mess. I spent a good hour laughing at it when I rediscovered it. It was just nonsense for eleven pages. The worst part was that I had screenshots in it and I’d add these captions that read: OMG SO HOT! Or something similar. 😂😂

      Haha, well I like some questionable people (there’s something about Tom Cruise as Ethan Hunt that I can’t get over. I think it’s the hair). It’s normal. So long as we maintain some perspective, we’re good!

      Oh, you’re missing out on these cinematic masterpieces! Hahaahaa. Omg, that scene. We were laughing SO HARD. The whole theater lost it. All of the tense moments and then we see him pull that face. I was screaming. Let me see if I can pull my quotes about it…

      Then Jensen turns and he has the most ridiculous looking on his face EVER! He looked like he was having a fit and lol all images of sexy evil Jensen left me and was replaced by that. Too funny.

      Lmao! Only God knows what he was trying to go for. It was probably either that or manical laughter. I’m glad that we only had to make do with the contorted facial expression, LOL.

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      1. Oh nooooo, Tom Cruise! Haha, ok we’re even lol. At least we don’t have to be embarrassed about liking Tom Hardy. Because, Tom Hardy. Although I heard he was a dick on the Mad Max set 😦

        I’d imagine most famous actors are fairly shallow, egotistical & disappointing human beings irl. That it comes with the territory. Although, I don’t know any of them from a bar of soap so that’s based on nothing, other than what I’d imagine having smoke constantly blown up your arse must do to you. Wait I know someone who nannied for Christopher Reeve’s kids & he was apparently the nicest, sweetest, most down-to-earth/genuine guy. So was his BFF Robin Williams. So yeah I’m full of it, don’t listen to me.

        lol I watched the end of MBV b/c I wanting to know who the killer was & didn’t think I could handle two hours of such masterful/grade-A+ scriptwriting & acting. Jensen’s acting in that final scene, wow. It was almost painful to watch but I also had a good laff :D.

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        1. I’d have to say that Friday 13th was marginally better than MBV. At least it felt like a theatrical release. MBV felt like a direct to video sequel. Honestly, was there supposed to be any suspense? They showed Dean standing outside of the motel murder room right before the killings. I call him Dean because he played the role exactly the same, costume and all – not a ringing endorsement for his acting skills.

          Love his ‘trying unsuccessfully to hold in a snart’ face at the end. Real Oscar caliber performance!

          Yeah, the fangirls crying about how Jensen is wasting his vast talents/nobly turning down A list roles to keep the SPN crew employed are hilarious. Face it, neither of them are in demand. The best they can hope for is the Lifetime/Hallmark movie circuit – if they’re lucky. If not, it’ll be a bit part on NCIS or even commercials.

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          1. I think both were duds to be honest. I’ve seen fan made F13 movies better than that one! MBV was actually quite a big draw with the 3D crowd IIRC. I think it made more money in the end. The film itself was understated, though. Having Dean pop pills every five minutes wasn’t particularly subtle. And yes, he was visible before almost every murder. He was very much Dean. Apart from the hoodie under the jacket. Dean would never. No one would ever. It was really bad on Jensen’s part, lol. I bet he got bored halfway through like he tends to do.

            That end scene was…That can’t be the best take they had?! It’s not a good sign when everyone leaves the movie cracking up.

            Oh, but that’s just how thoughtful and amazing Jared and Jensen are. I’m sure they share the convention money with the crew too!

            I think Lifetime and Hallmark are too good for them. As in they’d want crazy $$$ and both networks can get more convincing performances for less money. My money’s on Jensen starting a Dad band and Jared…doing reality TV (hey, it works for Tori Spelling!).

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        2. Lol, I’m generally of the mind that religion is a personal choice and nothing to do with anyone else but those Scientologists are… Intense.

          Tom Hardy has been a dick on various sets, lol. I have no doubt that he’s a bit of an asshole. There was an incident with a reporter that didn’t reflect very well on him. But yeah, he’s still hot, lol! Not enough for me to watch his TV show, though. I saw three seconds and had to move on. 😂

          I think it depends on the actor. Some are reasonable but yeah, the more attention they get, the bigger the ego is. In some cases, the ego is huge to start with and they lose all grip on reality. To be fair, they all have off days and no one is perfect but you hear about those with bad reps and think that there’s no smoke w/o fire…

          MBV wasn’t that bad as a whole (okay maybe it was) but you’ve made a wise choice, lol! Lol, I think Jensen used that movie as practise for his future phoning in on Supernatural.

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          1. I’m not religious but I think everyone should be entitled to believe whatever they want, as long as it doesn’t hurt others. But…there’s religion & then there’s total certifiability (aka Scientology). I can’t bring myself to watch a Cruise film. I can’t get passed all the crazy that is his off-screen personality & I’m (err, obviously, re Jared) usually pretty good at ignoring that.

            Yeah I haven’t seen Taboo either. I’ll be giving it a go though. I also love his acting. I could marry his acting skills. I don’t have much patience tho so it may be a 3 second watch 🙂

            @JoJo

            Haha you nailed it. I thought Jensen’s facial expressions were beyond describable (being electrocuted whilst severely constipated?) but ‘trying unsuccessfully to hold in a snart’ is spot on.

            Jensen’s ‘vast talents’ lol. If the script specifically said ‘act like you’re unsuccessfully trying to hold in a snart’, then that was an Oscar worthy performance. Watch out Eddie Redmayne & Casey Affleck, if SPN ever gets cancelled Jensen’s gonna be taking all the roles :p

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            1. Just to clarify the obvious, in my above post – it’s Tom Hardy’s mad acting skills that I could commit myself to in holy matrimony, & not Jensen’s, Jared’s or the unhinged Scientology guy with the admittedly nice hair 🙂

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              1. Can you imagine being married to Jared’s acting? It would be a life of nostril flaring and hair flicks (I’d actually be into the hair flicking but whatever, lol). In Jensen’s case, he would routinely play Twister with his face. With Cruise, you’d be running everywhere (seriously, what is he running from in all of his movies?? Scientology? 😂)

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            2. Lol, for me it helps that I’ve seen a lot of his older movies and think he’s a talented actor. If he wasn’t certifiable, he’d probably get more props but I’m sure he’s happy with his bank account balance, lol.

              Let me know how Taboo is. Tom is great at acting but awful at accents. Hopefully it’s normal in Taboo. I loved one of his other BBC shows based on Oliver Twist (way before he he became HW famous).

              Random side note: Eddie Redmayne scares me. He looks like he’s from another planet entirely. Every time I see him I seriously think ‘this is proof that aliens exist.’ I just can’t with his face. It’s so bad but I can’t help it.

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              1. Agree, Tom Cruise is a great actor. I used to like him. And yep his bank account balance wouldn’t be giving two flips about what I think lol.

                Will do re Taboo. Lol Hardy’s accents. That’s probably why they had a muzzle on him for most of Mad Max. Did he even attempt an Aussie accent? I can’t remember.

                Aw, Eddie Redmayne has the opposite effect on me. I get mesmerised by his face. I have a thing for skinny, weedy, nerdy looking guys tho. Although that could also be due to his acting chops. I go into this weird, trance-like state when I watch people like Hardy, Redmayne, Joaquin Phoenix, Ben Whishaw etc act.

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                1. Lol, I read that Tom has spent a year practising for his next major M:I stunt. As much as I love Ethan Hunt, that’s just ridiculous! I also can’t handle those stunts. Can he just stick to running?

                  Oh, those accents! Lol, yes, they didn’t want to risk ruining the pretty scenery in Mad Max with unintelligible mumbling. He said maybe one word, and it was in his normal growl I believe! I’ll have to rewatch!

                  Sounds like the state I go into whenever I’m watching a movie just for a hot actor 😂 I get that, though, there are some actors who really make it seem like they’re truly their characters. Tom Hardy is definitely one of them…Who else…Simon Baker is another impressive (and underrated) actor. I adore him and his smile. I know he’s doing some Aussie movie but I need him to come back to TV!!

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                  1. Lol can’t Tom just stick to running? Or stop taking work away from poor stunt doubles, jeez, it’s not like he needs the money.

                    Oh yeah, Simon Baker, the Mentalist guy. Agree, he’s a good actor but he doesn’t really do anything for me for some reason. Like Chris Hemsworth, I think he’s a little too rosy-cheeked & healthy looking. I kind of like them weedy – e.g. Ben Whishaw, Colin Morgan & Jared when he’s a beanpole. Doesn’t explain my thing for Tom Hardy tho. I’ll stop trying to explain it 🙂

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                    1. I think Tom Cruise just channels his issues into these stunts. I see no other reason for him to regularly put his life in danger. Lol, right? His stunt double needs to eat too!

                      Simon Baker is so beautiful. I miss his face. Haha, I have a thing for blonde guys, I can’t help it 😂…Lol yeah, I need a guy to not look like I’d have to make him a sandwich before he has enough energy to shake my hand. But that’s just me, LOL. Tbh it depends on the person. And the hair.

                      There’s different levels of Tom Hardy attraction because he’s always messing around with his body. I think he looked better without the bulk 😛

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      2. It reminds me how much I miss your Supernatural recaps. It makes this current fanon somewhat entertaining. I remember fangirls were all over this season (apparently, it’s awesome) and got super pissed over the middle (apparently it sucks). What do I know, I still have to see season 10. LOL

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        1. Aww. I miss my recaps too. I sometimes read a few of them over and crack up because I can remember exactly what I was thinking when I was watching the nonsense. Right now, I just can’t bring myself to do anymore, but we’ll see. I am going to snark about TVD’s last episode, though. I tuned into a random episode just to get a feel for it and it was just the most mind boggling experience ever. That show was always terrible but apparently there was room for it to get worse!

          Oh my gosh, it’s the same shit every season. Jared and Jensen hype up the season. Jensen starts grumbling after three episodes. Jared just wants to play dark!Sam. Misha has nothing useful to offer. The fans LOVE the beginning but by the middle they’re not happy and at the end, it was all garbage. By summer, they’re excited again. I think they go through this needless rollercoaster just to pretend that they’re not all bored out of their minds.

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  2. This was back when they thought they could have actual acting careers right? LOL. I couldn’t finish either movie. I did see that Jared Christmas movie though. I kept getting Sam and Dean vibes from their horror flicks. I wonder how fandom handled their flops. I’m surprised they didn’t torch the studios. I’m constantly hearing fangirls gush about how Hollywood is waiting for them or how they continue to do Supernatural (both the show and conventions) strictly out of love for the fans. It has nothing to do with fame (which doesn’t exist), money or failure to get other work. It’s out of the goodness of their hearts y’all!

    @Elsie

    Don’t feel bad. J2 are still a couple of lookers (though nowhere near as hot as they used to be). Just as long as that doesn’t make you excuse their douchery and put them on that fangirl pedestal.

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    1. The movie studios basically gave them a shot to see if they could turn their fanbase into $$ but they didn’t and HW waved goodbye to them. Actually wait. Hollywood is respectfully waiting for SPN to be done. Lmao, The Christmas Cottage. That movie was soooo dryyyyyyyy. I remember pretending that I liked it. I was all, omg, Jared painted with his left hand just to make it authentic! Originally it was supposed to be a trilogy but…Yeah, common sense prevailed.

      Yes, they seemed to be in Sam and Dean mode in anything they’ve done outside of the show. I guess that’s what happens.

      Fandom hasn’t handled the flops. Half of them resent everyone else from denying Jensen his Hollywood career and think that he’s too good for Supernatural. They’re the ones that wax poetic about his acting every week like it hasn’t been one-note since season 5.

      Lol the old, they’re ‘doing cons and not working on movies because of us’ line! I love that excuse. I’m sure the money is just a nice bonus.

      I think the fandom operates on another dimension sometimes. Although, J2 also stoke the fire by claiming that they auditioned for certain roles. Jared saying he was ‘up’ for Thor always cracks me up. Not with your iron-clad contract, buddy. There was also something about him meeting Bruce Willis around the time they were looking for someone to play his son. Dunno if the two were linked but it made me laugh. I think fundraising is a better career step for them. dead

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      1. LOL @ the mental image of Jared being up against Chris Hemsworth. Or even in the same room together. I’m sure CH doesn’t need another hyperactive fanboy to deal with.
        I wonder if Jared still has his physique. I heard he slimmed down after he failed at a movie career. I also hear J2 don’t have the bodies they once had. Especially Jensen. Fangirls still talk about them like they’re greek gods living on Olympus though. I haven’t looked at them in a while though. Everytime I see them: Jared looks more crazy and Jensen looks more bored. I was just rewatching season 1. It throws me how young, fresh and into the show they were, especially when you compare it to later seasons. As for looks, I can’t help but wonder WTH happened? Weight? Alcohol? Age? I don’t know. Lol. They’re not even that old. I shudder to think what they look like in seasons 10-12.

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        1. Whenever I’m down, I just think about Jared as Thor. Freaking hilarious. Jared’s physique changes on the regular. I remember him being crazy thin a few seasons back. Hopefully he looks better now. Oh, I’m sure we can blame it on the alcohol. Rumour has it (lol!) that they like a drink or two. Or ten. I haven’t seen any current pictures but the last one I saw of them both wasn’t flattering. They looked tired. I’d blame it on parenthood but, lol. Please. You’d think they’d spend some of that con money on good dermatologists, but apparently not.

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          1. Dermatologists? They have skin issues now? Well, at least they’re better off than Misha. Who look like he’s aged 20 years since being on the show. Jared always seems unkempt or greasy to me. You would never suspect he was loaded. I can’t say about Jensen but he seems better put together. He’s aged but he doesn’t look like he has any particular problems. I’ll agree he isn’t as pretty and he’ll probably be getting that middle-aged spread (if he hasn’t already) soon. I wonder if they ever cry when they see their lost pretty from seasons past. I wish they would stop with the tanner though. S1 Sam & Dean look so fair in comparison. Lol.
            Yea, I heard they would drink alot. I also heard they get rowdy. Apparently Jensen is scary if you piss him off. Texans drink alot. Plus they’re “celebrities” rumored to be in “troubled marriages”. We’ve heard of drunk Jared. I wonder what drunk Jensen is like. Or drunk J2.
            I bet they are tired. Tired of this show but, hey, paycheck! Jensen just always looks super bored to me. Jared just scares me these days. Man, that guy is getting more unhinged by the day. I just hope he doesn’t post any more cringey videos.

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            1. Whoever will make them look less haggard w/o needing injections, lol. I think Jared goes for that lumberjack look on purpose. He’s just not very fashion forward, whereas Jensen is occasionally. All of them have gaudy taste. Jensen…Well, I’m not a fan of his and there’s enough out there about his character if you look hard enough.

              I’m tired of them at this point and I don’t pay them any mind. They’re not interesting and their careers aren’t going anywhere, so why waste the time? I’m waiting for their books, though. 😂 Or Jared’s. Jensen’s would probably just be pictures. He just strikes me as someone who isn’t intelligent.

              Jared is a lost cause. I was reading this old interview with him from F13 the other day and he was talking about how the CW was the Pretty Boy Network so he was against going shirtless in the movie… etc. I think he struggles with the fact that his career didn’t take off the way he wanted to and it all just adds up. It’s hard to remain sympathetic, though, when they keep signing up for the show. Money is money but it isn’t everything.

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    2. Lol thanks Rori. Fangirls with pedestals are scary. If I lose any more of my marbles & start turning rabid you have my permission to shoot me. I’m just in it now for the fanfiction tbh. I no longer watch the train wreck that SPN has become.

      Agree that J2 are losing their looks a bit. Although, I think Jared went from Adonis status in S1, to WTF-are-you-doing-get-off-the-#%^*%ing-steroids-they’re-turning-you-into-a-gargoyle in S5-7, & back to hot-but-needs-a-haircut.

      😂 at Jared thinking he could get the role of Thor. Yeah, no, just no.

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      1. Jared in season 1 was the only reason why I ever watched Supernatural. After season 3, it all went left, lol.

        It would be so wrong. Just typing it feels wrong. Can you imagine watching him holding the hammer and wearing the armour and oh my god, THE ACCENT? They’d have to wheel me out of wherever I am on a stretcher, I’d be laughing so hard. Just the sight of him holding the hammer was bad enough on the show.

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        1. I think it should be illegal (not really 🙂 for someone who hits the jackpot in the looks department to go messing with themselves like that.

          It’s like Bradley James (Arthur from Merlin) fixing his teeth & getting a nose job. His face was exquisite & his teeth/nose were part of that. They were adorable. Now he looks like generic, plasticised, Hollywood factory produce. I wanna hold a wake for the death of his magnificent face :(. I mean look at this travesty – http://m.imgur.com/RF08VhH

          Also – http://m.imgur.com/aQAtslz

          I need to get a life lol.

          Yeah, S1 (especially) of SPN was a snooze fest & the pull for me was entirely Jared being drop dead gorgeous. I’d bet anything he was on the ‘roids as early as late S1, when his face started visibly puffing up. But yep, his beauty held out & things didn’t go seriously south until mid-S4.

          Hahahaha being wheeled out on a stretcher. If Jared had been Thor, that would’ve been #1 on your bad movies marathon list. You’re a masochist btw, Playing It Cool, The Perfect Match & that Point Break remake shiver lol.

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          1. Err, wait, I think I misunderstood re things going left with SPN post-S3. You were talking about the storyline, not Jared’s face. I’m a little obsessed :s. Agree with that also.

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          2. I think I’m just zooming past all of the so bad they’re good movies and hopping straight onto the so bad you want to cry movies. Lol, Jared as Thor would have a list of its own! Although, it would be interesting to see them replace the hammer with some kind of turbo nostril flare superpower. nods

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            1. Lol you’re nuts (re movies that could be used as a torture device). If you want a suggestion & are willing to risk possible permanent emotional scarring, there’s this old movie, ‘Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band’ (1978) that was voted the worst movie ever made & destroyed the careers & reputations of a number of people involved in making it. I read that the leads (Peter Frampton & the Bee Gees – hilarious watching them attempting to act) refused to talk about it in interviews for years after.

              I saw it when I was 10yo & absolutely loved it. But there’s no accounting for my taste now let alone when I was 10.

              You probably wouldn’t be able to find it anyway. All copies have most likely been burned to spare people’s suffering.

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              1. LOL, it ended careers? Oh dear. I have to find it haha. Or look it up at least. Permanent emotional scarring? Wha? Well it can’t be any worse than Point Break! I love it when actors refuse to talk about questionable movies. Didn’t they realise that it stunk while they were making it?!

                This reminds me Tom Hardy while talking/doing press about/for This Means War. He was not here for that movie at all. It was hilarious to see how awkward he (along with Reese & Chris) was about it.

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                1. Aw no, I’m being unfair, saying you’d be emotionally scarred is going overboard. Although, it’s considered bad enough that you might contemplate maybe, possibly physical self-harm? if you were forced to sit through it all. Yeah, I read that a couple of people who were instrumental in getting it made never worked again & it’s credited with severely damaging the Bee Gees’ & Peter Frampton’s reputations.

                  I absolutely loved it. Actually, based on timing, I must have been around 6 or 7y.o. when I saw it. So I’d totally take my recommendation as a practical toddler (over practically every single other person who’s seen it) re how great it was.

                  God, This Means War. What the hell was Hardy thinking? Actually, per Wiki, it made $156m at the box office (Jesus Christ) so why not? I bet he made a packet & people always flock to see sanity-destroying garbage like that. Err I can’t exactly talk re taste in movies :s

                  Oh – Jared P named & shamed another poor b*stard on Twitter yesterday for taking just over an hour to deliver his pizza. That’s actually the normal delivery time in Australia. I’d be shocked if my pizza made it in less than an hour, & I live in a mid-city location.

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. This Means War still haunts me to this day. I think I posted about it once. It made $150m? There’s hope for my Killer Toaster movie! Lol I’m sure Tom will be in another turkey soon enough. It’ll be interesting to see what excuse he makes. Although, Child 44, Lawless, the one where he has a dog and the movie with Nick Nolte (the names escape me) were all questionable.

                    I saw that Jared tweet with the dramatic screenshot of him about to delete the app. LOL. The complaint isn’t the issue but how he does it. He’s always rude. I’d probably have to wait 30 mins or less for a pizza but that’s because the store is w/in 10-15 mins walking distance. Takes five to drive, but they need to get the order ready etc. Anyway… Shouldn’t Jared have a private chef by now?!

                    Sorry for the late reply! I’m useless at comments 😕

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