humour

Throwback Thursday – The Mask Of R Zorro 


Way back in the 2000s, we were graced with a song called ‘Hotel‘ by Cassidy ft R.Kelly. The song was a bop, but the video. The video had a giant pink elephant in it that none of us could ignore. R Kelly in full on pink durag/Zorro mask get up, dancing around like people wouldn’t be wondering what the hell was going on with his outfit. 

I’m guessing that R.Kelly showed up like that on the set of the video and everyone just went with it? 

I refuse to believe otherwise. 

Meanwhile….

A Mississippi man has filed a lawsuit against R. Kelly for allegedly popping on a little 12 Play and doing a little bumping and grinding with his wife

The entire article is so much funnier than it ought to be. R.Kelly is always in some mess. He seriously needs Jesus. 

That reminds me of the Gospel Bump’n’Grind remix. If I ever heard this in church, the would have to remove me with a stretcher. The audaciousness of this never fails to amuse me. The fact that he prays halfway through is the best/worst part. Clearly he didn’t see ‘nothing wrong’ with what he was doing….Lol. 

snarkview: the real housewives of vancouver | season 1, episode 1


Due to forseen circumstances (the world going to shit, Trump disrupting world peace), I have decided to reintroduce the Real Housewives back into my life.

You know how there are shows so bad that you never forget them? That show for me is Real Housewives of Vancouver. This show is absolutely awful but…so entertaining. I remember accidentally using up all of my mobile data on the train because I was so hooked (in those days, I didn’t play with my internet! And my network provider wouldn’t let me buy anymore for the rest of the month 😢.)

I don’t think I even truly enjoyed it towards the end because it became so bad, but it was TV gold. I devoured each episode like I was getting paid to watch them.

This show is what quashed the Canadians are nice stereotype for me. Enough of that noise. They’re just as awful as the rest of us!

Anyway, I decided to rewatch the first episode and I thought I’d recap. I was going to do all the episodes, but I love myself too much. (more…)

Dumb Moment of the Week


I was going to post another long winded rant about something but it’s Easter and I’ve decided to keep things positive for now. The rant will come later because you know, that’s what I do here. Anyway, I thought I’d tell you about my dumb moment of the week. 
I was walking along and daydreaming as I do when I spotted something brown resting on a railing. 

“Huh,” I thought, “what’s that bird doing there? Should it be leaning on the railing like that? Is it okay? Shit, I hope it’s not dead!”

I approached it cautiously because while I was somewhat perturbed, I wanted zero bird action. I don’t play with birds. I don’t mess with them. I don’t acknowledge them. Having a pigeon flap it’s wings in your face leaves mental scars. 

Anyway, as I got closer I discovered that it wasn’t a bird. 

It wasn’t even an animal.

It was an empty beer bottle. 

An empty beer bottle. 

Perhaps it’s time for a trip to the opticians…

5 Useful Inventions


Guys, I’ve officially run out of things to snark about. I don’t even hate watch anything anymore. I just read the news and watch things that I like. This is no way to live so I will have to rectify that.

*Googles ‘bad movies 2013’*

(more…)

Where did I park my car?


I love bad acting in bad commercials. 

This lost parked car one is hilarious. It’s at some point (00:48 ish) in this clip.

I think I show more concern whenever I lose an earring back (seriously, isn’t that the worst thing ever? It’s Oh No worthy!) 

Zombie Apocalypse Playlist


I’m bored, so…Feel free to play along.

1.John LegendThis Time

Well, that’s a shitty theme. A schmoopy, sensual, piano theme? No bueno. Although, maybe some J-Lege would get the zombies to simmer down while the mortals escape? Hmm!

2.Gary Numan I Am Dust

Yes, this one actually fits! I actually first heard this song on Almost Human. And the on PLL when they showed us that Ezra was potentially A (have they finally revealed who A is yet?). Well, the beat fits. Being turned into dust doesn’t. I’m not sure that’s what the song is about, though. You know what, let me move on.  (more…)

Dumb Moment Of The Week


I figure that calling out other people’s stupidity means that I should call out my own. And I have many. When you’re accident prone, that’s the life. A few weeks ago I fell on some escalators (right at the top because, y’know, gravity wanted to say hi), I walked into a fence that I go past everyday last week, and stairs are always eventful. Yay me. 

So, sometime during the past week, I took my foolishness to a whole new level. I was in the kitchen washing dishes at an ungodly hour. The light was on but the curtains were drawn so I could sort of see outside but not very well. After a while I looked up and saw a strange man in a suit just standing there watching me. I was freaked out and I calmly finished my washing and kept glancing up to see that the man was there. Eventually, I put the light off so I could see properly and the man was still there. 

I looked closer and…

… I realised it was an advert for The Grand Tour. It happened to be physically placed on a van parked outside, hence why it seemed like some guy was just standing there staring into my window. The man in the suit was actually Richard Hammond’s waistcoat thing. 

I felt like such an idiot. LOL. I was just cracking up in my kitchen like an utter loon because I was genuinely panicked by what I perceived to be this creepy man.Thank God I didn’t start tapping at the window and brandishing a wooden spoon. 

The Girl Who Hates Everything | Make-Up Snark!


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my life motto

fashion-girl-makeup-paint

I can’t work out if it’s That or Who. Where’s a pedant when I need one?!

K, first of all – I have nothing against makeup — I love my matte lipstick. I love my silver eyeliner. I love my lipgloss, my mascara, my eyeshadows and well, you get the drill.

But sometimes I kind of hate it — and I guess I do have something against it. Whatever. My first line was an alternative fact, okay? (more…)

These comics sum up my current sleeping pattern (or lack thereof)


I have a long Trump post coming tomorrow so I wanted to at least break up the bullshit with some humor. And my snark machine is not at it’s best because of the no sleep thing, so, yeah.

Enjooooy!  (more…)