At the start of the episode, Dean is having some kind of The Walking Dead-esque nightmare. Wooooo! Oh, I mean – Booo. Sucks for him. *coughs*
Claire Novak is in some kind of detention room punching walls and being annoying. Right on cue, she gets a visitor from Castiel, because that’s all she needs.
Claire wants nothing to do with Castiel, who seems to have turned up expecting otherwise. He claims he wants to help her because he’s caused her so much hurt. Her mom abandoned her and went to go and ‘find herself’.
She tells him to get her out of the group home she’s in. This leads to Castiel pretending to be her father and Misha getting to speak in a normal voice.
I hate his normal voice. Someone might need to get him some gravel.
Castiel’s application for custody is denied. RIGHTLY SO!!!
Meanwhile, Jensen is doing the worst fake laughter I have ever heard and watching something. I don’t know what the hell it is.
I was literally just like:
Sam joins him and side-eyes him, while glancing at the non-glowing Mark Of Disdain. Sam seems like he’s fun at parties.
Back at the home, Castiel breaks Claire out because you know, being with an angel with a complex is better than being with humans.
At Crowley’s place, Rowena is still shackled to a wall. This scene is literally thirty seconds long. Who the fuck is editing this show? How hard is it to make this shit easy to follow? Am I the only one bothered by this? HELP ME.
Castiel buys Claire a meal. He tells her that she should try to eat a few vegetables instead of fries or whatever. She says that ketchup is a vegetable. I will agree with this but only when the person saying it is someone I like. She tells him that she doesn’t need him and runs away, along with Cas’ wallet. I wonder where he gets money from. *snort*
Castiel calls Sam and Dean to help him. Dean is outraged. Apparently it isn’t their responsibility to help him find some chick who bailed on him (which is what happens to Sam every Friday night ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha no). I think they agree to help him because next thing I know, Dean is confirming that ketchup is indeed a vegetable.
Castiel asks Dean if he’s okay and once that’s through, he asks Cas to take him out if he goes dark side and not let Sam get in the way because he can’t be ‘that thing again’. OH GOSH. CRY ME A RIVER, MAN Where have I heard this before? Excuse me while I cry a single tear in Dean’s honour.
Meanwhile, Rowena and Cas’ latest prisoner are chit chatting. Apparently she was a horrible mother who sold Crowley for a pig. Sounds fair to me.
Sam is posing as a Detective at the kids home. He finds out that Claire was good friends with someone called Dustin Tate who works at the Wiener Hut…..ha ha ha ha ha.
Dustin’s father seems to owe some kind of loan shark money and Claire is helping them pay it off. Oh dear. They manage to convince her to rob a store. Oh deaaaaaaar. Luckily, Sam, Dean and Cas catch up with Dustin, who presumably spills everything. Cas catches up with her before she can go through with it and the exit the store and this exchange occurs:
Dean: Hey, Miley Cyrus, settle!
Claire: Eat me, Hasselhoff.
My reaction was basically the same as Dean’s but I was just appalled at the writing. Hasselhoff is a fair comparison.
Anyway, Claire pulls a gun on Cas. And then Sam and Dean. Apparently she used to pray to Castiel. He screwed up her life while Sam and Dean did nothing blah, blah, blah.
HOW MANY TIMES. YOU CANNOT PRAY TO ANGELS. JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP.
This episode is on some real bullshit by the way. They could have least made it interesting by hiring Maury to do a fake YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!!!!! skit because I could care less about Castiel, Jimmy Novak and any other Novak-affiliated drama.
….and this goes for Crowley and Rowena and that Jerry Springer-esque mess. He has mommy issues, daddy issues, name issues. Maybe he should invest in therapy for demons.
Rowena basically tries to emotionally swerve her way out of Crowley’s lair.
Sam, Dean and Cas have a nice conversation about loving their fathers. I literally just sighed deeply. They tell Cas some story about New York. It’s too long and too boring for me to recount it to you. I guess this is the one day of the year where a story about John isn’t about how awful he is.
So, just to clarify, there’s basically NOTHING of any note happening in this episode.
So far at least. All of this Mark Of Disdain foreshadowing is hard to miss.
Cas asks if they think Claire is in trouble. Dean’s answer is “She’s hanging out with a guy named, Randy. She’s in trouble.” It’s funny because they’re sitting there chilling instead of looking for her. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I think Randy agrees to sell Claire’s ‘services’ to his loan shark? I wasn’t paying attention but that’s clearly where that was headed. I will update you in a few lines.
Crowley saves Rowena’s life….blah, blah, blah and she escapes the shackles…blah, blah, blah.
Yup. Randy did indeed agree to sell Claire’s services to his loan shark. Castiel arrives in the nick of time and despite the fact that he’s kicked in the nuts several times, the loan shark recovers quickly enough to get into a tussle with Dean. And Dean growls ‘You guys don’t want to do this‘ in his growliest growl as his Mark Of Disdain period flashes before his eyes. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS.
Back in the car, Sam somehow doesn’t realise that Dean wasn’t with them until he hears him yelling in the house. FOR SOME REASON, he exits the car in slow motion (THANKS EDITOR, I NOW KNOW THAT THIS SCENE IS DRAMATIC!) and finds Dean kneeling in a room full of dead bodies, just the way it was in his nightmare from the beginning.
This is the funniest shit ever. I don’t even know why. Sam begs Dean to tell him that he had to do it, and to tell him that it was ‘them or you’. Dean growls some shit that I didn’t catch.
And the episode ends there.
LMAO ALL OVER AGAIN.
Well, first of all:
The episode was disastrous, once again…
Mark of Disdain Dean is HILARIOUS to me. He should have his own LinkedIn page with a slightly edited version of the Taken speech as his bio:
I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for someone smart, I can tell you I don’t have any common sense. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired from the Mark of Disdain and many years of man-pain, semi-permanent death, malfunctioning tear ducts and Big Macs. Skills that make me a nightmare for everybody, but especially clean decor. If you refrain from poking the bear, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you and leave someone with one hell of a cleaning job.
Ah….oh dear. Well. Two episodes is enough for me. I’ll be back soon with more recaps!