First of all….BEANIEPOCALPYSE IS UPON US!
A friend of mine told me that my favourite person, Jared Padalecki, is refusing to take off his beanie at $upernatural convention$ now. Apparently, his reasoning was:
Okay, it wasn’t but it might have well as been! If people are paying thousands of dollars to see you, would it really kill you to take off a sweaty beanie for an hour? Seriously. The actual reason – ‘I’m comfortable with this thing on my head, and this is who I am so deal with it‘ – is…well, it’s bullshit. The only people that give a fuck are the people paying thousands of dollars to see you.
Just once I’d like a fan to clap back with some shit like, ‘I worked seven jobs and sold my priceless unicorn collection to be able to afford this con and you can’t take your fucking hat off? Who the fuck do you think you are?!’ but they’re too busy raising money for the next proverbial fuck you that Jared decides to serve up. Oh well.
Speaking of conventions. And Jared (sigh…)…
I had this odd dream that I paid $8 to go to this…Jared convention type thing. Somehow everyone travelled via a bus (even Jared, so if I didn’t know it was a dream before, I definitely did after the bus ride – we all know that he’s too good to ride on a bus with peasants!). The driver let people on without tickets for the sit-with-Jared-in-a-room con so long as they paid the fee, because you know, dream world.
Apart from Misha (clearly my subconscious was just fucking with me on this particular day because Misha Collins has no damn place in my head or dreams or anywhere near me. EW), it was just Jared in a room. I kept seeing posters advertising events but it was just a bunch of tables in a room. And all he did was leave the room and come back. So maybe I was missing some shit that wasn’t included with the eight dollar package. At one point he took off his jacket but…there was another jacket underneath. It was all very exciting.
Anyway, when I got there a bunch of my friends were there and some other people. Jared was sitting in a corner at end of the room. People were just sitting at tables and not doing anything. A friend of mine and I were in our own spot sort of laughing and joking about all of the dumb shit he says, and somehow Jared got wind of it. In hindsight, it was probably a little short-sighted to kind of sit there and talk smack about someone who’s in earshot, but…hey. lol. Our bad.
Naturally, they tried to throw us out but I told my friend that we should just write some bullshit apologies so that our eight dollars wouldn’t go to waste (overpaid CW man baby or not, money is money and I was going to get my eight dollars worth). So we wrote the notes or tweets, whatever it was. Mine was generic and probably insincere. I had no idea what my friend wrote until Jared was addressing everyone. He said all of this foul shit about us followed by, “Don’t worry, that [my name] person and the other one have gone.”
I stepped forward and I said, “Uh, no, boo-boo – actually, I’m still here.”
I wish I’d gone a step further and uttered ‘and keep my name out of your mouth’ but it’s cool. I said some stuff about how my friend and I would never treat anyone badly and that at least we apologized.
He replied with, “She [my friend] wrote in her note that she wasn’t sorry and meant every word.”
WHOOPS. And because I have the worst luck, my friend had bounced at that point. So I was standing there thinking, ‘You got tooooooooooooooold‘, but I was so shocked that I couldn’t say anything. And even though I was terribly amused at this point, I just kept quiet. He looked so upset and also had a potentially volatile group of fans listening on, so I eventually said, “Yeah, well…allow me to speak for myself then…” and only God knows what I said but MY ASS WAS STILL THERE.
After that, my friend and I communicated somehow and she said that she would never apologize to someone who had spoken ill of someone’s death. I agreed and I went up to Jared and I told him,
“I think maybe you need to understand that the way you felt when we were talking about you is how you make others feel, and that at this point, you need to take ownership of what you’ve said and apologize, otherwise people will keep mocking you.”
But he didn’t get that. It was so awkward because I was just explaining it all and he was staring at me like I was speaking Japanese. I think death by some serious beanie laser eyes was potentially on the horizon. I was undeterred, though and did my best to activate the Nostril Flare turbo mode.
It was probably the realest moment of the dream, ‘cept in RL, he’d probably burst into tears and write a long winded Facebook post about how I hurt his feelings. We all know that hurting Jared Padalecki’s feelings is wrong and that he’s too special for anyone to have an opinion about him that isn’t ‘OMG!!! YOU’RE AWESOME!!!’ Oh and that he’s a superhero in a beanie.
Thankfully, somehow all of that faded away. Next I was at home and the Impala (the car from Supernatural) pulled up by window, with Jared in the driver’s seat and I was kind of like, ‘FUCK, PADAPOCALYPSE IS NEAR!’ Or, hey, he’s come to yell at me some more! However, they were there for something else because they went away not long after.
Overall the dream made little sense but the part with the notes had me cracking the fuck up mid-dream. I woke up at one point and I was honestly just like, “No, this is too good!!” and went back to sleep. I have no idea who my ‘friend’ was, but that shade served up with her note was too good.
I’m not too sure what triggered the dream. Probably a combination of me seeing a screencap of one of his tweets on my phone when I was trying to free up space and this post.
Either way, I would prefer my dreams to be Jared Padalecki (and Misha Collins) free from now on. PLEASE.