Anyway…onto the episode…
The recap features witches…the editors don’t really care about the whole suspense thing, do they?
Now: some blonde woman is being chased by some due with horrible facial hair. He catches up with her and snaps her neck.
Post credits: Sam’s hair still looks stupid. Sam and Dean are having a riveting conversation about Dean’s phone blowing up. Sam snatches said phone and sees that Dean is on a dating website….
…..and everything that follows after that is highly awkward and unnecessary. It’s two minutes of Jared talking like there’s a really slow teleprompter behind Jensen’s head. At the end of it all it turns out that they detoured for eight hours so that Dean could get laid. Woo…
In other news, Mundannah tries to put the moves on Castiel. Gurl, give it up. He’ll fuck you, fuck you over and then steal your grace.
Meanwhile, Dean is doing his best ‘super masculine man who has sex’ routine until ol’ girl tells him that she wants his soul.
And then Mundannah meet someone who knows her meat suit. His name is Joe and he’s her husband. Zzzzzzzz.
This is followed by Sam and Dean confronting the demon who abducted the girl that was about to bang Dean. She kills the demon, but not before we find out that the demon was part of some kind of brothel that sends girls out to steal souls. At this point. I’m wondering why the person that put the episode together keeps cutting to different scenes every two minutes? How is anyone supposed to follow the plot? Oh. Wait. That’s probably the whole point.
At ‘Raul’s Girls’ AKA the brothel, a red headed chick/monster/new big bad turns up and kills the demon(s).
Mundannah tells her husband that she ‘left him’ for Cas. Okay…and? Who cares?
The editing of this show is so ridiculous. Just FYI. Recapping it in chronological order is pointless.
Sam and Dean show up at Raul’s Girls HQ and find him dead. Apparently the redhead was a witch. I literally did not see that one coming. Also I can’t tell what accent she’s supposed to have because it keeps changing but it sounds Scottish. She does some kind of witchcraft on the waiter. Yay.
The brothel was apparently a marketing idea geared at increasing the amount of souls going to hell. Crowley is not happy. Sam miraculously finds out the spell that vanquished the demons and reads it out for us. Apparently the spell was created by a witch called Rowena (!).
…who helpfully gives us the next part of Exposition 101. She tells the two girls that she rescued from the brothel that she can teach them how to ‘eke out a modicum’ of power. The waiter at the restaurant explodes or something and that’s important.
Meanwhile, COLE RETURNS! And, oh, no one bothered to tell him that Deanmon was no more. He’s torturing a demon for information about Dean.
Mundannah is having an existential crisis that still doesn’t make her any interesting. She leaves her meatsuit, hopefully to never return.
Rowena and friends are at a hotel, where they’re taken by demons, who are upended by Sam and Dean. Rowena uses an attack-dog spell on one of the girls, who proceeds to attack them.
Dean manages to catch up with her but he’s then upended by Cole, who looks kind of silly when it turns out that Dean isn’t a demon. That doesn’t deter him though and they start fighting. Rowena escapes.
Sam is basically on attack-dog duty and struggles with a door until she dies. Yay, Sam!!
Dean apparently killed Cole’s dad in ’03, which doesn’t explain why Cole looks like he’s 30….I digress. Anyway, Dean explains what happened and it was something to do with Cole’s dad eating livers? That was the best the writers could come up with.
Dean continues with a sob story about knowing how his life will end, by the blade, blah, blah, reverse psychology, blah blah and if Cole wants to shoot him then that’s fine (it’s not like his armed brother is in the nearby vicinity or anything).
Sam chimes in, not that anyone asked him, and reminds Cole that he has a family who needs him to come back home.
In the end, he doesn’t kill Dean. This is so sad to me because I’m always Team Kill Dean. You let me down, Cole. You are hereby banished to the library!
Mundannah’s meatsuit goes back to her husband and Cas looks Jimmy Novak up. Oh, here we go. Thanks a lot, Mudannah.
Sam asks if Dean meant what he said to Cole. Dean tells Sam he was just telling Cole what he needed to hear
because he isn’t always one single tear away from saying that shit on a daily basis.
They think that Rowena got away but it turns out that Crowley’s Beta team captured her. I’m not going to think about whether or not I like her – the fact that she seems incapable of shutting the fuck up has made it easy for me to decide. Oh and surprise twist (because the accent wasn’t a huge giveaway) – she’s supposedly Crowley’s mother.
Finito! And not a moment too soon.
- Dean being on a dating website spurned the case of the week. His username is Impala67. Sam’s username is probably peenodeath. He travelled eight hours to meet up with a chick, presumably because he doesn’t know how to use the location features.
- Demons were running a brothel in order to collect more souls and said chick was working (well, she was abducted) for this brothel (Raul’s Girls)
- A witch called Rowena put an end to that by killing the demons
and remaining in the area because it seemed like a good idea. She was subsequently captured by other demons, but only after evading capture from Sam and Dean because…
- Cole showed up, after months of learning about demons, and he eventually went away after losing another fight with Dean and remembering that he had a family. Considering that he’s spent a long, long time plotting to kill Dean, sending him back to his family might have been a bad idea but okay.
- Rowena may or may not be Crowley’s mother.
So yeah, I don’t have any thoughts really. It was just shit.