5 More Extravagant Gifts

I am officially DONE with 2020, so what better than browsing through my favourite online Japanese store?

Lotte High Blood Pressure Gum
Everyday use blood pressure control chewing gum

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Expecting from a chewing gum to help lower your blood pressure might sound like a lot but the Lotte High Blood Pressure Gum promises to help fight this health condition. Through the use of an ingredient called monoglucosyl hesperidin, which is glucose added to fruit polyphenols, this gum can help build up a defense mechanism against hypertension and the problems that go with it.


I mean, what could go wrong? Being bloated, getting the runs and general stomach issues all the name of lowering your high blood pressure!

 

Ice Cream Cone Fan
Portable, USB cooling device

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Portable fans are one more of those things that help the Japanese fight the humid, sticky weather that descends on the country between mid-July and late August. The usual problem with these gadgets, though, is that they look too awkward or techie, especially for the more fashion-conscious user. If you would like the benefits of a portable fan that can be charged through a USB port, works for hours, and doesn’t look like, well, a portable fan, then take a gander at the chic, cute, and convenient combo that is the Ice Cream Cone Fan.

This is cute!…but in what way do regular fans look awkward or too techie? Issa fan. What is it supposed to look like? As long as it’s blowing some much needed cool air, who is that bothered by the appearance of a fan?

All-White Rubik’s Cube
Tactile version of the popular puzzle

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You’d have thought that after being around for 45 years, the Rubik’s Cube would have been saturated as an idea. But Japan says “no” and reinvents the now legendary puzzle, giving it a whole new, well, spin: touch. The All-White Rubik’s Cube has the same color on every side – namely, white – but each has a different texture, meaning you must solve the puzzle without the aid of visuals!

 

….NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


Loading Circle Online Meeting Emergency Escape Machine
Gadget for faking a frozen screen

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We all know the feeling of being trapped in a Zoom meeting or online drinking party where you want to escape or disappear for a while. Perhaps you need to go answer a call of nature? Perhaps you are just bored and need a break? From the inventive mind of designer Marina Fujiwara, the Loading Circle Online Meeting Emergency Escape Machine is the solution to our woes that nonetheless has its tongue firmly in its cheek. At the flip of a switch, it throws up a physical replica of the loading circle icon, allowing you to pretend your screen is frozen. Meanwhile, you can click to log off and escape being on camera. Just remember to hold your facial expression steady or you risk giving the game away. All right, so this is what they call in Japan a chindogu – a useless gadget.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I need one of these for real life! Like, someone will be talking to me and I’ll just hold it up, slowly back and away and then run. 


Noodles Towel
Face towel in Japanese noodles bowl design

Ramen noodles have become a hit pretty much all over the world but anyone who delves deeper into Japanese cuisine knows that soba buckwheat noodles and udon wheat noodles are other two parts of Japan’s Holy Noodle Trinity. Regardless of where your loyalties lie, the Noodles Towel lets you have your favorite dish of noodles hanging in your bathroom or, on a hot day, around your neck for the whole world to see!

I am confused, but I’m going to be nice. I own donut shaped earrings, so…I guess I can’t talk. If I saw a donut scarf, I’d probably buy it.

 

5 Gifts That Will Spice Up Your Lockdown

FIVE GIFTS

…or your new normal, whatever stage you’re at!

All items are from Japan Trend Shop.


Item: Cookiray Anti-odor Pendant Lamp

The award-winning Cookiray Anti-odor Pendant Lamp keeps your kitchen or dining room illuminated while also massively cutting down those unpleasant odors that may spoil a meal. This is the perfect light fitting for those times when you want to have grilled food or anything that you cook right there on the table. Oil, fat and smoke do not add up to a nice eating experience, so the Cookiray BE will absorb them into its filters so you can concentrate on the more important task of eating what you have cooked.

Cost: US$ 1,091

Comments: It would probably cheaper and more efficient to just…crack open a window? Although, it being a lamp is handy! Continue reading “5 Gifts That Will Spice Up Your Lockdown”

5 More Unique Gift Ideas

Tokyo City


Cardboard Darth Vader Costume

CARDBOARD?!

What happens if it rains? Does the wearer magically transform into sweaty Anakin Skywalker?? I need answers. Or visuals.

Ahem.

Continue reading “5 More Unique Gift Ideas”

5 More Awesome Gift Ideas

Greetings, y’all. 

Have you met people that you now hate enough to spend large amounts of cash on stupid gifts they will never have any use for?

If the answer is yes, re-evaluate your life. 

If the answer is no, come this way. Let’s wrap. Or unwrap. Whatever. 

1. Samurai Pet Armor for Cats and Dogs

Small pet clothes
Price: US$ 223

Perhaps nothing says Japan quite like the Samurai Pet Armor for Cats and Dogs, which brings together Japan’s history and its love for small domestic animals. Unlike real armor, this is lightweight so your feline or canine friend won’t get (too) annoyed and will be happy to pose for unique photos. And when it’s not in use, you could hang the armor costume up as an item of wall decoration or even wrapped around a drink bottle. Available in four colors and three sizes.

I don’t know if this is really cool or really terrible, so… I’ll let y’all be the judge. 
Continue reading “5 More Awesome Gift Ideas”

Bad Products, cont. 

Just in time for… whatever major holiday is coming next? 

Anyway, let’s dive in. 

1. Asahi Clear Latte Coffee-Flavored Water (Pack of 12)
Espresso extract and milk taste
Price: US$ 21

I don’t have a copy of the description but clear flavoured water that tastes like coffee? No. No. No and no. Nope. I can just make a mug of coffee and then refill my cup with water and voila. Coffee water. Why would anyone even want to drink coffee flavoured water anyway?! I reject this water on…coffee grounds (pun intended). Continue reading “Bad Products, cont. “

Bad Products, cont. 

It’s that time once again. I recommend the products, you decide which one is the least ridiculous and get yourself something special!

1. For the handyman coffee enthusiasts I present the Power Tool Battery Coffee Maker.

Power Tool Battery Coffee Maker CM501DZ means you’ll never be short of a cup of coffee even on a construction site, as long as you have a drill or other power tool lying around

Continue reading “Bad Products, cont. “

Valentine’s Days gifts that you SHOULD have bought!

I’m on something of a hiatus at the moment, but I figured that I’d swing by and give you some love. By the way, if you went to see Fifty Shades Freed in honour of Valentine’s Day non-ironically, there’s something wrong with you. 
What you should have done instead is bought one of these….

The Brassiere Eye Mask

This is literally some shit out of Fifty Shades of Fuck No. 

Poking fun at Japan’s rather unfair reputation for harboring too many men with strange fetishes, the Brassiere Eye Mask is an amusing way to catch some shut-eye. We’ve all heard those tales of used panties and underwear thieves. Sure, there are a few out there, but the media would have us think that the whole nation was engaged in these, ahem, hobbies. The truth is rather more mundane. Fortunately for fans of the bizarre, Village Vanguard is here with a hilarious eye mask (available in three colors) in the shape of a miniature bra that sits snugly over your face. When you say you got it from Japan, all your coworkers and friends’ questions will be answered!

Oh dear.

The next item is even more bizarre. 

Toilet Noise Blocker Flushing Sound Gadget

It is one of the peculiarities of the Japanese (mostly women, but also men): they’re very self-conscious when it comes to the noises they make when they are on the toilet. Many Westerners are too, of course, but not to the extent that they create a device that makes the sound of flushing water to cover the sound their bodies make. Yes, the On Serebu Toilet Noise Blocker is one such gadget!

Mate, I don’t give a crap what people are doing in the toilet. I think the constant sound of flushing water would drive me berserk, though. WEIRD. 

The next item is for those of you have crazy cat lovers in your life. 

Cat Tail Jeans

The Cat Tail Jeans is your new way to have fun with your pet. Created by cat-themed brand fashion Felissimo and Rinrin Yamano, a manga artist whose cute illustrations have appeared on many Felissimo products, the jeans are especially thick so kittens and cats can latch onto your legs with their claws without causing physical pain to the wearer. And your cat will love trying to get at the mini tail that you attach to the jeans so it swings as you move, attracting their attention. There are also long, pleated pockets that your feline friend will enjoy trying to climb up. The jeans are available in six sizes.

You know what, let us move on because I have nothing to say. 

Exposed Butt T-shirt

This is a shirt for women, right? I’m going to pretend that this is for your average hen do or bachelorette party…No?

Give yourself the, ahem, butt of your dreams, whether you are a guy or a girl, with this Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt. On the front of the white shirt sits a cute female rear in panties, exposed to the whole world for all to see… on your chest. This hilarious parody clothing will be a big hit at parties, when walking down the street, or whenever you really want to surprise your coworkers.

…surprise your co-workers? Where does this potential stupid shirt owner work? Frats’R’Us?

Onto our last product which has to be the second most bizarre…

Toenail Art Polish Stockings

In Japan Toenail Art Polish Stockings are taking over in the same way that “tattoo leggings” did a few years ago! Led by retailers like Belle Maison, girls around Tokyo are leaving their nail polish in the drawer and instead slipping on these “fake toe nail” stockings that create even more striking effects on their feet than regular cosmetics! Here you can choose between six types of “pre-painted” stockings: Paint, Line Candy, Tile Flower, Mermaid, Flamingo, or Sunny Shower. There are also two sizes. And since the stocking have separate toes they are more comfortable to wear and better for your feet.

…..

Stockings with separate toes?? With nail art. Put enough liquor in me and I could possibly get to the stage where I have to enter my PayPal details. Hopefully, I would have sobered up by the point. 

Anyway, yes. Feel free to splurge. 

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day!

Bad Products, cont.

Once again, I have ventured onto my favourite website. Once again, I’m shocked, amazed and slightly grossed out.

1. Upskirt Umbrella.

Yes. You read that correctly.

We’re not going to pretend this is a mainstream trend in Japan but even the puritans among us have to admit: it’s a fun idea. The Upskirt Umbrella (or An-burera, a play on the words for “underpants” and “umbrella”) by Million Girls Project might be the most original umbrella you ever buy. Please just be careful not to get arrested when using it, though! The Upskirt Umbrella is a very tongue-in-cheek spin on Japan’s reputation for turning schoolgirls into sex objects. Well, it might not improve that image but it certainly makes for a novel way to keep the rain off your head!

Oh, yeah, it’s tongue in cheek and not at all creepy. What normal person would even buy this? I can’t even remember the price but anyone who does should probably be on a watch list somewhere.

2. Lap Pillow Mini Skirt

I don’t even have anything snarky to add here. Just read the text that they have added themselves.

This new version of the now legendary Hizamakura Lap Pillow will no doubt do nothing for Japan’s “wacky” reputation in some corners, but we still reckon it’s an awesome and fun way to get some shut-eye anyway. If you want that maternal feeling of resting your weary head on the legs of a woman, then prop yourself on the Hizamakura.

Resembling the “lap” of a woman, complete with red skirt, this takes you right back to that blissful period of nurture, when someone was watching over your every move. The legs this time are foam, thus making for a more comfortable experience. A great gift for guys, for bachelor parties and more.

This time they’re foam? What the heck were they before? I’m scared to find out so I’m going to move on here.

3. Vegetabrella Lettuce Umbrella

WHY. This is umbrella abomination of the highest order and I am personally offended that they chose lettuce. After two days lettuce ends up soggy. That’s not what I’m looking for in an umbrella. At all. Ever.


4. Pancake Playing Cards

I don’t hate these as much as I should.

Now I want pancakes. Time for me to click off this site. Not that I’d buy anything. Everything is extremely expensive in the sense that it’s not free.

huggable life companions

Here at Supernatural Snark, I’ve posted about many different things. 

There were three seasons of Supernatural recaps. 

There was a recap of the Killer Pet Dog SyFy movie (which is a surprisingly popular post of mine). 

I snarked about Trump for a good three months. 

I’ve even spoken about BET shows. 

It’s been a mixed bag. Somewhere along the line, I discovered Japan Trend Shop and from time to time you’ll see me post the items that I can’t quite wrap my head around.

Today is no different. 

Today I present to you the Japanese Cotton Wife.

Japanese Cotton Wife

Bride-shaped foam cushion by Bibi Lab

Price: US$ 428

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Looking for that special someone to snuggle up to? Look no further than wacky Japanese home items maker Bibi Lab and their new Japanese Cotton Wife. This bride-shaped cushion feels realistic to the touch, so you can hug and dress her up to get a unique household companion experience.

What. The. Hell. 

What is this? More importantly, why? Why would someone want a wife made out of cotton? What happens when you spill something on her? You’d have to dry clean your wife. That’s grounds for divorce. Irreversible differences. 

You know what would make this even better? Bad jokes.

Keen-eyed observers will spot that this is essentially a parody of real “hug pillows”, which are often decorated with sexy anime characters. The Cotton Wife comes in a washable, skin-colored spandex cover and in two sizes. Needless to say, the taller version has a larger, well, bust than the smaller model.

Bigger fake boobs. Wow. Imagine that. There’s room for improvement, though. How about…a video?

This video made me lose it. THE DANCING. THE MUSIC. I was terrified and amused at the same time.

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This is unbelievably creepy. I can’t understand why any sane or rational thinking person would buy one of these. Just get a teddy bear?

That being said, I can see a scenario where some Supernatural fan buys two of these and creates their own huggable Jared and Jensen. Or [insert crazy fan] creates their version of [insert object(s) of affection].

Welp.

Not to be outdone, Bibi Labs have come up with another design in the same vein. I hope that this one DOESN’T have a video.

Cotton Wife and Husband Hug Pillows

Huggable life companions

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Called in Japanese the Wata Yome and Wata Danna, the Cotton Wife and Husband Hug Pillows by Bibi Lab are unique companions for whenever you need a hug. We’ve seen plenty of hug pillows in Japan before but these have the most attractive and, well, huggable designs so far. These spouses have limbs and a torso, while the springy materials are really addictive.

Limbs and a torso…what the…well, that makes these sex cushions perfectly normal then.

These unique pillows are nearly life-size too. Dress them in clothes for the most realistic results. Then you will really get the benefit of hug when you are lonely and you’ll never be short of a dinner partner again. The set includes a brown, anti-static fleece cover.

Imagine turning up to a dinner party and your host’s significant other isn’t real. I would be out of there faster than you say ding ding chicken wing.

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I think they’re trying to recreate the spiderman kiss

Oh dearie me. I’m done.