This week’s episode is shorter because the bullshit is occurring at a rate that not even I can (or really want to) keep up with.
3-0
Trump loses appeal court bid to reinstate travel ban!!
Fuck yeah! Of course, the big baby had to have his say via Twitter.
Apparently, he won’t rush to appeal, so.
But wait…
President Donald Trump has said he may sign a “brand-new” executive order to revive his travel ban – a day after an appeals court ruled it should remain suspended.
Speaking to reporters aboard Air Force One, Mr Trump said his administration has “a lot of options” to achieve its aim of restricting immigration from seven Muslim-majority countries.
One of those options might involve rewriting the controversial executive order, or replacing it with a new one, to sidestep the legal issues which have caused the travel ban to become held up in the courts.
Mr Trump said it is likely that “very little” would be changed in a second executive order, and hinted that it could be signed as early as Monday or Tuesday.
“We need speed for reasons of security. So it could very well be that we do that,” the President added during the surprise visit to the press cabin, where he was accompanied by First Lady Melania Trump.
The Diary of Kellyanne Conwoman
- Kelly Anne is compulsive liar and there’s now a Wikipedia page dedicated to her bullshit, made-up Bowling Green massacre (which 51% of Trump supporters believe happened).
The “Bowling Green massacre” is a nonexistent incident referred to by U.S. Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway in interviews with Cosmopolitan and TMZ on January 29, 2017, and in an interview on the television news program Hardball with Chris Matthews on February 2, 2017. Conway cited the “massacre” as justification for a travel and immigration ban from seven Muslim-majority countries enacted by United States President Donald Trump. However, no such massacre ever occurred. Conway later said she meant to refer to the 2011 arrest of two Iraqi refugees in Bowling Green on various charges including “attempting to provide material support to terrorists and to al Qaeda in Iraq.”
- She seems to keep fucking up and people seem happy to let her, just to provide us with some amusement? CNN did decline to interview her but that only lasted for so along.
- She got in trouble for endorsing Ivanka’s line and telling reporters that she was on her way to buy some stuff.
The White House on Thursday “counseled” Kellyanne Conway, one of President Trump’s top advisers, in an unusual show of displeasure after she urged consumers to buy fashion products marketed by Ivanka Trump, the president’s daughter. Legal experts said Ms. Conway might have violated a federal ethics rule against endorsing products or promoting an associate’s financial interests.
She always looks like she’s just finished her third vodka and coke- Her response to Trump not tweeting about the Quebec terror incident: “He doesn’t tweet about everything. He doesn’t comment about everything.”
He. Doesn’t. Tweet. About. Everything.
In her defence, it most be exhausting to spend most of your time sifting through bullshit and working out how to generate even more bullshit.
Trump’s team are spinning around, move out of their way.
They’re now using deaths not linked to terrorism to bolster their accusations. #AlternativeFacts. They also falsely claimed that the media didn’t report ~70 terrorist attacks but…that was debunked. Again. Kellyanne Conwoman talked it away – apparently the ones with high casualties get more coverage.
Yes, probably because they HAVE HIGHER CASUALTIES!!!!!
Betsy Clueless
Betsy Devos, or Betsy Clueless as she should be known, was sworn in as the US Secretary of Education. Considering this bish couldn’t even answer basic questions on education and that she’s been donating money to the Repubs for years, I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that she’s going to do a great job.
Spice(r) Up Your Life
Sean Spicer can’t catch a break. First, someone was able to find all of his personal information online via a website he set up and then news broke that Trump is (supposedly) regretting hiring him. Oh dear!
Democracy? What democracy? Let’s just destroy careers!
After being told by a sheriff about a policy that would require people to have been convicted of a crime before police take their assets, Mr Trump encouraged law enforcement to make the name of the politician public.
“Who is the state senator? Do you want to give his name?” Mr Trump asked during a meeting at the White House. “We’ll destroy his career.”
FLOTU$
US First Lady Melania Trump has re-filed a legal case against UK newspaper Daily Mail, saying it cost her the “once-in-a-lifetime opportunity” to profit from her brand.
Mrs Trump could have formed “multi-million dollar business relationships” while she was “one of the most photographed women in the world”, the suit said.
…to profit from her brand? Uh, I thought she wanted to do something about cyber-bullying (the irony). Instead she’s thinking about how much merch she can stick her face and a ‘#MAGA’ on just so she can watching the money roll in. Melania, honey, you’re not Beyonce. And you’re married to a billionaire – your rich ass doesn’t need multi-million dollar business relationships. Your job is to do good, maybe rein in your husband (don’t worry, no one really expects you to) and not to attempt to make as much money as you can.
Or, that’s what it should be. Honestly, you’d think she was a former Celebrity Apprentice candidate trying to cash in.
Papa Trump In Da House
Earlier this month Nordstrom became the fifth retailer to drop the Ivanka Trump clothing line, citing lack of sales.
The move comes amid a boycott of all Trump products, which activists have dubbed #GrabYourWallet, in reference to a 2005 comment Mr Trump made about women’s bodies.
Trump wasn’t happy about them disrespecting his daughter like that (even though he probably caused it by being an unrepentant asshole).
He even used the official POTUS account to retweet his own nonsense.
Sigh.
In general, it’s all been one huge clusterfuck.
Bonus scene: an interactive guide to Donald Trump’s Twitter exclamations. Enjoy! via Quartz
supernatural snark 
Poor Spicey!! Melissa McCarthy has him pegged on SNL and this week he ridiculously mentioned an Atlanta terrorist attack multiple times, that didn’t happen. “Oh I meant Orlando!!” he cries. Yea, because someone who is really invested and cares about this things would EASILY confuse Atlanta and Orlando, that are in two completely different states.
It’s tough times here in America and I’m starting to worry I’ll look like Kellyann Conway by the end of Trumps reign of lies
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I bet none of them can even read a map. Spicer lives in his own world. How one person can consistently spew out bullshit with a straight face is a mystery to me. Thought the first SNL sketch was very funny but didn’t watch the second one…I still feel like there are certain people not taking this seriously. I just heard about Congress basically refusing to prevent mentally ill people from buying guns. It’s sickening.
Lol, girl, stock up on your moisturiser and give yourself a day off from the news at least once a week. These people want to drive all of us nuts with their bullshit but we can’t let them!
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I bet none of them can even read a map. Spicer lives in his own world. How one person can consistently spew out bullshit with a straight face is a mystery to me. Thought the first SNL sketch was very funny but didn’t watch the second one…I still feel like there are certain people not taking this seriously. I just heard about Congress basically refusing to prevent mentally ill people from buying guns. It’s sickening.
Lol, girl, stock up on your moisturiser and give yourself a day off from the news at least once a week. These people want to drive all of us nuts with their bullshit but we can’t let them!
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