donald trump

Fast & Furious: Trump vs. North Korea


Since Trump became President, tensions between the US and North Korea have been rising purely because Trump is the only one that hasn’t realised that North Korea are all talk and no action. 

They’re constant missile development is mostly for propaganda purposes. Their missiles are inferior compared to the US, and they aren’t really in a position to do anything to the US (most likely they would target territorial waters and South Korea, but only if they deem there to be a credible threat to them). 

Well. 

Donald Trump has claimed the threat from North Korea will be met with “fire and fury like the world has never seen” if they continue to expand their nuclear and missile programmes.

The comments come after reports that North Korea had produced a nuclear warhead small enough to fit on an intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM).

In a press conference at his Bedminster, New Jersey property, Mr Trump warned that North Korean ruler Kim Jong-un “best not make any more threats to the US”.

I love the way he says ‘Thank you‘ like he’s just given a presentation that he’s really proud of.

Shuuuuuut uppppp! 

Fire and fury like the world has never seen

This sounds like something from a Games of Thrones episode (not that I’ve seen the show, but whatever). 

This is not how to respond. He sounds like every single crazy James Bond villain that inexplicably wanted to destroy the world. 

The consequences of any US strike against North Korea would potentially be catastrophic for South Koreans, Japanese and US military personnel within range of North Korean retaliatory strikes – let alone the possibility of civilian casualties.

  1. Is is me or is there hypocrisy regarding nuclear weapons? 
  2. Yes, nuclear weapons are not a good thing, but if we want NK to stop producing their weapons, maybe the nuclear powers should work on removing their weapons.
  3. They probably won’t, so there will always be a situation where volatile nations seek to expand of their missile and nuclear programs. 
  4. Provoking and antagonising North Korea isn’t really a sound plan. This is a country where reason doesn’t apply in the simplest scenarios. Let alone a very huge issue like nuclear weapons. 
  5. What kind of world is it where the former host of Celebrity Apprentice USA is now in charge of the USA’s policy towards North Korea? 

This is the part where we all let out a collective sigh. 

[Source: The Independent]

Too Mooch, too soon


Good news everyone!

White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci has been fired after fewer than 10 days in the post.

I’m sorry, but I have to go all Channing Tatum up in here. 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. 

Oh no he diiiiiiiiidn’t

This is too much. 

This man missed the birth of his child to attend that embarrassing Boys Scout event and this is how Trump pays him back? He even got served with divorce papers because his wife was unhappy with his level of ass kissing. Still, that wasn’t enough to save him. 

That’s cold-blooded. I almost feel sorry for him but he’s still a rich, privileged man. He will be fine. 

I’m guessing it all went down like this. 

Trump: Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the craziest and Presidential of them all!

Mirror: You are the craziest no more but Presidential you are!

Trump: What? No longer the craziest Lemme guess, Crooked Hillary has finally shown her true colours?

Mirror: No, sir, the honour has been bestowed on The Mooch! His legend grows and grows and he’s the talk of the talk shows and fake but also real news!

Trump; The who?

Mirror: Anthony Scaramucci, sir. 

Trump: Yeah, I know that guy, but who’s The Mooch?

Mirror decides to speed the process up.

Mirror: The Mooch threatens all that you’ve worked hard for, sir. He’s taking away all of the attention!

Trump: Sad! How dare he? He’s finished in this town. Nobody makes crazy, inane statements but me, and occasionally Sean Spicer and that woman who replaced him – you know, the six point five – but also ME!!!!! 

Mirror: He even threatened Priebus via Twitter, sir. It seems that he wanted to emulate you, sir. 

Trump: NOBODY SENDS OUT RIDICULOUSLY HAM-FISTED TWEETS BUT ME!! 

Mirror: Raise hand slowly, sir and let’s say the magic words together…

Trump stretches out his unnecessarily long tie and raises his hand, his finger curling as they say:

Trump/Mirror: You’re fired!

Of course, Gen. John Kelly was the one who actually fired Scaramucci. You see, when you push out the previous chief of staff who you don’t report to, you really need to make sure that the same applies for his replacement. 

Scaramucci, you are the weakest link. 
Goodbye! 

Spice(r) Up Your Life


Sean Spicer says that his six months serving in the White House was an honour and a privilege. 

Mr Spicer resigned suddenly from his top White House post this week, citing concern with Donald Trump’s decision to hire Anthony Scaramucci as White House communications director.

For those of you who were around during my The Real World: Trump Administration days, you’ll know that Spicer was a regular feature. Hell, he was all we could talk about. Gaffe after gaffe, mistake after mistake, idiotic comment after idiotic comment. 

I think for the sake of his health and also the competency (hahahahaaa) of the administration, his resignation is the best thing for all. I am sure that we will look back on this day and see this as the moment he saved himself from impending doom. 

So long, Spicey. You’ll be missed. Sort of. 

How Not To Stay Out Of Politics


Hello! 

It’s been a quiet around here hasn’t it? I am extremely behind on everything. Damn. Time flies even when you’re not having fun. 

Like, I predicted, the G20 summit was lit. 🔥

In all of the wrong ways.

He was an uneasy, lonely, awkward figure at this gathering and you got the strong sense some of the leaders are trying to find the best way to work around him

“He has no desire and no capacity to lead the world.

“[He] barks out bile in 140 characters, [and] wastes his precious days as President at war with the West’s institutions like the judiciary, independent government agencies and the free press.”

Yup,yup and yup.

The main talking point:

A Russian official at the G-20 Summit tweeted, then deleted a photo of Ivanka Trump taking her father’s seat alongside world leaders that sparked critiques of the first daughter’s role at the summit.

Svetlana Lukash, who is serving as a Russian emissary at the summit, tweeted on Saturday that Ivanka “replaces Pres Trump at the #G20 table as he leaves for bilateral meetings.”

The tweet was deleted around 10 am ET.

Look. I’m not American. I’m not even sad that America has been shunned by the rest of Europe and other major countries as the defacto leader when it comes to tackling issues. The one good thing to come out of Trump being President is the end of US dominance. It’s time for y’all to let someone else fuck up for a change. At least until you get rid of Le Pumpkin. 

That being said, who the fuck does Ivanka Trump think she is? Girl, why are you even at G20? I don’t care if your husband is a government official, at least we didn’t see pictures of him in what looked like an awful prom dress, or pictures of him sitting in for the President.

“I try to stay out of politics,” Ms Trump said, when she was asked what she advised her father regarding his seemingly knee-jerk use of Twitter.

She’s a Trump, so we shouldn’t be surprised that she fixed her mouth to lie about staying out of politics. The fucking White House rats don’t even stay out of politics, let alone someone who has an office and security clearance.

This is one thing that would be baffling if we couldn’t smell the stench of nepotism a mile off. I saw Trump supporters trying to compare Trump hiring family members to the Royal Family (of England). LOL, yeah, no, monarchs are a different ballgame. Try again.

What does Ivanka know about politics? Did she read Politics for Dummies? What are her qualifications? At this point she’s like the Jaden Smith of the family. Trying to follow in her father’s footsteps but failing miserably. It’s kind of like that Graham Norton clip where Will Smith and Alfonso Ribeiro did the Jump On It dance from The Fresh Prince and for some reason Jaden joined them. On one hand you’re like, aw he’s trying but on the other…I just wanted him to get out of the way. It’s meant to be Will and Carlton, I didn’t vote for Jaden.

Anyway, yeah, the fucking nerve of this woman. I don’t care who your daddy is. Go find something else to do. Like steal more designs. Or hire slave labour to make said designs. It beggars belief, it really does. If my father was a brain surgeon, I wouldn’t turn up in my scrubs and ask if I could join in. Or agree to if my father was crazy enough to ask me to.

That’s the issue, though. At this point, the sanest member of the family is Barron and that’s because he’s what, 12? His brain is still developing. The rest of them? Donald Trump Jr seems to be brainless (your Twitter will never be as interesting as your father’s buddy, deal with it and stop trying so hard)? Eric, well, he needs to ease up on the hair gel and Ivanka? I used to think she was the smartest one but clearly I was wrong. I know there’s another sister but I know nothing about her thankfully.

They’re all cut from the same box of Crayola, so nothing they do is a surprise. I heard that Melania was trapped in her hotel which I’m sure was fine for her. How’s the cyber bullying campaign coming along, sweetie? It’s not? Oh, okay.

In other news, Trump claims he…

Just twice?? A kid who desperately wants to open the food their parents just bought at the supermarket presses more times than that. Not impressed. Try again (unless of course he stopped at twice because he knew it was redundant anyway).

Another tweet that caught my eye…

What the fuck have the Republicans been doing for the past seven years? They had all of that time to start coming up with something. It’s almost like they were so busy complaining that it just never occurred to them that having a plan in place might be the smart thing to do. Sorry. I used ‘smart’ and ‘Republican’ in the same sentence. My bad.

Meanwhile in the UK…

Twas London Pride this weekend and Theresa May had a message for everyone.

If only she hadn’t just given £1bn to a political party who are raging homophobes.

Theresa May was booed as her speech at Pride in London was played to crowds weeks after she struck a deal with the DUP.

Some revellers appeared disgruntled while the Prime Minister’s message was read, thought to be over her deal with the Northern Irish party.

The DUP has been widely critised for its right-wing stance on social issues including gay rights

[via Evening Standard]

Also Brexit is still an embarrassing mess. Everything costs twice as much as it did last year but uh…that impending trade deal between the UK/US will probably help with that.

Right?

A trade deal between the UK and the US would not be enough to offset the damage caused by Brexit, a cabinet minister had admitted.

David Lidington, the Justice Secretary and Lord Chancellor, said even a “big new trade deal” with the US would not replace the benefits of being in the EU single market and that deals with other countries would be needed too.

[via Independent]

What a surprise….

The G20 summit is going to be lit 🔥


Or something. I am behind on Trump news, but I’m keeping up when I can. 

I see that the US are still trying to hold Germany to ransom.

Wilbur Ross is the kind of man who is easy to underestimate. Approaching his 80th birthday in November, he seems slow at times and occasionally nods off during longer meetings. And sometimes, he does so even when his boss is holding an important speech only a feet away, as he did recently in Saudi Arabia.

Ross, though, is U.S. President Donald Trump’s commerce secretary, a key cabinet position, and on Tuesday, he was wide-awake. Standing next to an American flag, he read out a speech that was being transmitted to Berlin via video link. Specifically, it was being broadcast into the ballroom of a luxury hotel where German Chancellor Angela Merkel and several hundred guests of the Economic Council, a German business association that is closely linked to Merkel’s political party, the Christian Democratic Union (CDU), were listening.

Ross had initially wanted to travel in person to the German capital, but he canceled at the last minute because, he said in the video, “urgent unexpected matters required that I remain in Washington.” The commerce secretary then straightened his glasses and monotonously recited what his president expected of the Germans.

He demanded that Germany buy raw materials from the United States instead of from Russia, lower tariffs on automobile imports from the U.S. and ensure that America “obtain a larger share” of the European market. Otherwise, he added, the government in Washington, D.C., would have no alternative but to “engage in self-help

Self-help? Oh, by all means, guys. Start now. Please. In all areas. Preferably away from Twitter and idiot press conferences.

My favourite part of this is that he went past his ten minute slot. Dude, you realise that they can just turn you off when your bullshit dial swings over to dis tew much.

Ross had been allotted a speaking time of 10 minutes, but when he still hadn’t finished after 30 minutes, the event participants had heard enough. They turned down the sound and switched off the video link. The U.S. commerce secretary disappeared from the screen, silenced like a political gadfly. Some in the audience laughed.

Other Trump nonsense this week. There’s some kind of ongoing drama with the Morning Joe hosts. Trump was buoyed by CNN firing three guys who didn’t check their sources and accidentally printed – wait for it – fake news. It’s fitting that it was CNN. 

Anyway, 

The hosts of MSNBC Morning Joe said they were warned a tabloid would run a negative story on them unless they said sorry for their coverage of Mr Trump.

I SAID NO!!

Trump is like a giant man baby but he’s good isn’t he? We could be talking about the failed healthcare act or the ramifications of the travel ban being allowed to happen (thanks for nothing, SCOTUS!), but no, we’re talking about this silly feud albeit between the President of the United States and some journalists. What he said was fucked up, but still, it’s ridiculous.

Here’s what Kellyanne Conway had to say:

The president normally does not draw first blood. He is a counter-puncher,” Conway told “GMA” co-anchor George Stephanopoulos. “I endorse the president’s right to fight back when he is being mercilessly attacked and when the airwaves are filled with raw sewage about him and his fitness for office.”

Really? He doesn’t draw first blood? Yeah, meanwhile in delusionville, pigs have started to fly.

When asked to clarify if she was endorsing his [Trump’s] comments, she…well…

“I didn’t say I endorsed his attacks; I never said that,” Conway said. “What I said was I endorse his ability to fight back when he is attacked.”

SO, YOU ENDORSE HIS ATTACKS THEN! Just say what you mean, KC, Trump is so unpredictable that he might fire you for defending him too well. You might as well make it count.

What a bunch of idiots.

(See also: another reason why the US needs gun control. It’s sad that this keeps happening.)

Meanwhile in the UK….

  • Theresa May has survived another week after performing several U-turns and jumping into bed with the DUP (at the small cost of a billion quid)
  • The most important U-turn being the public sector pay cap. Tory MPs voted against removing it (it’s something like 1% now) during the week and cheered about it. But now, looks like Theresa is going to scrap it anyway. Hot. Mess.
  • Some other cat wants to cut world aid for the poorest people to raise money for the public sector pay rises. What a charming chap.
  • A white guy (quel surprise!) was jailed for striking a Muslim teenager with an open packet of bacon. Can we just do genetic testing on these kind of people, locate their stupid genes and then come up with some kind of way to block them? Get to it, science.
  • There is now a 100% failure rate in the testing of all high rise tower blocks in the wake of the Grenfell Tower fire. That’s disgusting.
  • Brexit is still a confusing mess

Siiiiiiigh.

Have a good weekend, snarklings!

On behalf of London, f**k Donald Trump


Much love & prayers to anyone who was caught up in the London Bridge attack on Saturday night. 💜❤

~

In the aftermath of the attack I was trying to keep up with everything and what did I see? Updates from Trump’s Twitter. Given that I was personally freaked out because London Bridge isn’t too far from me, I was wondering how someone who was there and looking for updates would feel when they saw the shit Trump was spewing.

Distasteful doesn’t even cover it.

First of all, what does his Travel Ban (thought it wasn’t a ban!) have to do with an attack halfway across the world? Two, we don’t know yet if this attack was carried out by British born people or not. Given that the majority of the terrorists who carried out attacks on US soil were homegrown, the Travel Ban won’t help much there either. 

Thirdly, what kind of world leader jumps off a tragedy that has only occurred to push through their isolationist and discriminatory agenda? 

One that’s got no fucking scruples.

Wow. Yes, that’s it. If we were armed, we’d all be okay. Wrong. How many people in America lose their lives to needless gun violence? Focus on your own shit before you start making suggestions. Again, classless. 

The Mayor (who just happens to be Muslim) was talking about the increased police presence. He was saying that there’s no reason to be alarmed, and that people should go on as normal. This is the kind of level headed response you expect from leaders. Not frothing at the mouth and tiny fingers on Twitter. 

People who reject political correctness are often people who want to be dickheads with no repercussion. Trump was all for it when Kathy Griffin tweeted that picture (and no I’m not defending that, just saying that it goes both ways). Oh, it’s a different matter when his kids are upset. What about the Muslim kids being bullied, the increased level of hate and intolerance in America? That’s okay, right, so long as we’re all singing Trump’s praises, fuck everyone else. 

I can only speak for myself, but I personally don’t need Trump’s blessings, or need his solidarity. He can go and fuck himself. 

That Girl Is On Fire


I will just jump right into it.

An all-natural treatment for women looking to rejuvenate and tighten their vagina is giving doctors serious cause for concern – ground-up wasp nests.

The Etsy retailer that Dr Gunter found selling the oak galls – Heritage Health Shop – claimed that they could improve sex lives and be used on cuts with a warning that the paste will hurt.

“Here’s a pro-tip, if something burns when you apply it to the vagina it is generally bad for the vagina,” Dr Gunter added.

You can read more about this here if you’re so inclined. I personally have nothing to add because I REFUSE. REFUUUUUUUUSE.  Absolutely refuse to believe that any woman would be this fucking stupid.  (more…)

He Ate The Best Chocolates


Hello snarklings!

Trump’s big boy trip threw up some more chance encounters. I think I read an article on USA Today that claimed that he had shown discipline on the trip and that the real drama would start as soon as he has access to FOX News again. Discipline? That’s like saying Tom is disciplined when he’s not chasing Jerry. But I admire their optimism.  (more…)

The Real World: Trump Administration: Week 17 – A little less conversation and a little more ignorance, please


wp-1485731527681.jpg

I’m back! Baaaack in the saddle again ~guitar riff~ ~headbang~ ~Tom Cruise-esque jump~

Anyway, let’s get down to it. I’ve missed a lot in my absence, but I’m just gonna cover what I’ve read in the past two days lol. Trump’s trip has sort of shoved all the other news to one side.  (more…)

Blech, I need to take a shower | today’s b***shit (16th May) 


So you know how news broke that Trump leaked important information to the Russians? And how his surrogates denied it all? One person claimed that they were in the room and it didn’t happen. 

Trump has news for y’all!

Honestly, it’s refreshing that Trump was like, ‘Fuck it, yeah, I did it, so what?’ instead of crying fake news. Probably because he knows the information is solid…

😂

Someone needs to put Trump on Twitter time out. 

You’ve Got Memo

Apparently, he asked Comey back in February to end the investigation into Russia/Michael Flynn because Flynn is a “good guy”.

Donald Trump asked former FBI Director James Comey to end an investigation into former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn during an Oval Office visit in February, the New York Times has reported.

“I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go,” the President said to Mr Comey during that meeting, according to the memo. “He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go.”

This is how the honest do business politics.

The Diary of Kellyanne Conway

Basically, she is all about the Benjamins because someone has uploaded a supercut of her criticising Trump for the very things he now pays her to defend.

– the lowdown –

On Monday’s show, Brzezinski said that when Conway appeared on “Morning Joe” during the campaign, she would praise Trump on air, then “the camera would be turned off, the microphone would be taken off, and she would say ‘Blech, I need to take a shower,’ because she disliked her candidate so much.” Scarborough said that Conway suggested that she was taking the job for the money.

KC’s response:

The hosts of MSNBC’s Morning Joe have become virulent critics of the President and those close to him,” Conway said. “Ignoring insults and insinuations is a valuable skill. But when sentiments are attributed to me that are not true, it is necessary to respond.”

The notion that I am serving for ‘the money’ or a ‘paycheck’ is absurd. As campaign manager, I made a fraction of what other consultants have made on unsuccessful presidential campaigns,” Conway wrote. “Then I walked away from dozens of opportunities for millions or dollars, and instead walked into the White House. I would do it again.”

First of all, who was offering her millions of dollars? Girl, please. Secondly, she’s a liar. That’s basically it. Trump seems to surround himself with people who as morally corrupt as he is. 

Meanwhile in the UK…

Labour (opposition party) can’t seem to figure out what their benefits policy is. 

Labour’s benefit payments policy is in “chaos” this afternoon after the party struggled to agree if it would scrap the freeze on welfare.

Which is a shame because

The government faces outrage after it was accused of setting a target to turn down the vast majority of benefit appeals.

Critics branded the system a “sham” after the policy was released by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP).

The row involves Mandatory Reconsiderations (MRs) – internal reviews people must go through if their claims for welfare are rejected, before they can launch a full appeal.

MRs were already under fire because they are far less likely than full appeals to end in victory.

Now it’s been revealed staff have a performance measure that says 80% of decisions “are to be upheld” – in other words, MRs reject 80% of claims.

This is all stuff that most of us knew but it’s still disgusting. 

White Privilege

A budding heart surgeon studying at Oxford University who knifed her boyfriend during a violent row could avoid jail because of her “extraordinary” talent, a judge has said. Oxford Crown Court Judge Ian Pringle said that a custodial sentence, which would normally be meted out for such a crime, would prevent Lavinia Woodward from embarking on her chosen career – a sentence, which he said was, “too severe”. It was stated at the court, where the 24-year-old admitted to a charge of unlawful wounding, that she met her victim on Tinder before she launched into her attack on 30 September. The judge heard how she punched the man and swiped at him with a bread knife after drinking and taking drugs. The Cambridge-educated man was stabbed in the leg before she threw a laptop, glass and a jam jar at him at the iconic Christ Church College. Pringle said: “It seems to me that if this was a one-off, a complete one-off, to prevent this extraordinary able young lady from not following her long-held desire to enter the profession she wishes to, would be a sentence which would be too severe.

Who cares if she an aspiring heart surgeon? What kind of message does this send? Besides the obvious – privilege, blonde hair and blue eyes will get you everywhere. If only everyone was afforded such a chance…