Tag: white house

Too Mooch, too soon


Good news everyone!

White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci has been fired after fewer than 10 days in the post.

I’m sorry, but I have to go all Channing Tatum up in here. 

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. 

Oh no he diiiiiiiiidn’t

This is too much. 

This man missed the birth of his child to attend that embarrassing Boys Scout event and this is how Trump pays him back? He even got served with divorce papers because his wife was unhappy with his level of ass kissing. Still, that wasn’t enough to save him. 

That’s cold-blooded. I almost feel sorry for him but he’s still a rich, privileged man. He will be fine. 

I’m guessing it all went down like this. 

Trump: Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the craziest and Presidential of them all!

Mirror: You are the craziest no more but Presidential you are!

Trump: What? No longer the craziest Lemme guess, Crooked Hillary has finally shown her true colours?

Mirror: No, sir, the honour has been bestowed on The Mooch! His legend grows and grows and he’s the talk of the talk shows and fake but also real news!

Trump; The who?

Mirror: Anthony Scaramucci, sir. 

Trump: Yeah, I know that guy, but who’s The Mooch?

Mirror decides to speed the process up.

Mirror: The Mooch threatens all that you’ve worked hard for, sir. He’s taking away all of the attention!

Trump: Sad! How dare he? He’s finished in this town. Nobody makes crazy, inane statements but me, and occasionally Sean Spicer and that woman who replaced him – you know, the six point five – but also ME!!!!! 

Mirror: He even threatened Priebus via Twitter, sir. It seems that he wanted to emulate you, sir. 

Trump: NOBODY SENDS OUT RIDICULOUSLY HAM-FISTED TWEETS BUT ME!! 

Mirror: Raise hand slowly, sir and let’s say the magic words together…

Trump stretches out his unnecessarily long tie and raises his hand, his finger curling as they say:

Trump/Mirror: You’re fired!

Of course, Gen. John Kelly was the one who actually fired Scaramucci. You see, when you push out the previous chief of staff who you don’t report to, you really need to make sure that the same applies for his replacement. 

Scaramucci, you are the weakest link. 
Goodbye! 

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Spice(r) Up Your Life


Sean Spicer says that his six months serving in the White House was an honour and a privilege. 

Mr Spicer resigned suddenly from his top White House post this week, citing concern with Donald Trump’s decision to hire Anthony Scaramucci as White House communications director.

For those of you who were around during my The Real World: Trump Administration days, you’ll know that Spicer was a regular feature. Hell, he was all we could talk about. Gaffe after gaffe, mistake after mistake, idiotic comment after idiotic comment. 

I think for the sake of his health and also the competency (hahahahaaa) of the administration, his resignation is the best thing for all. I am sure that we will look back on this day and see this as the moment he saved himself from impending doom. 

So long, Spicey. You’ll be missed. Sort of. 

Blech, I need to take a shower | today’s b***shit (16th May) 


So you know how news broke that Trump leaked important information to the Russians? And how his surrogates denied it all? One person claimed that they were in the room and it didn’t happen. 

Trump has news for y’all!

Honestly, it’s refreshing that Trump was like, ‘Fuck it, yeah, I did it, so what?’ instead of crying fake news. Probably because he knows the information is solid…

😂

Someone needs to put Trump on Twitter time out. 

You’ve Got Memo

Apparently, he asked Comey back in February to end the investigation into Russia/Michael Flynn because Flynn is a “good guy”.

Donald Trump asked former FBI Director James Comey to end an investigation into former National Security Adviser Michael Flynn during an Oval Office visit in February, the New York Times has reported.

“I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go,” the President said to Mr Comey during that meeting, according to the memo. “He is a good guy. I hope you can let this go.”

This is how the honest do business politics.

The Diary of Kellyanne Conway

Basically, she is all about the Benjamins because someone has uploaded a supercut of her criticising Trump for the very things he now pays her to defend.

– the lowdown –

On Monday’s show, Brzezinski said that when Conway appeared on “Morning Joe” during the campaign, she would praise Trump on air, then “the camera would be turned off, the microphone would be taken off, and she would say ‘Blech, I need to take a shower,’ because she disliked her candidate so much.” Scarborough said that Conway suggested that she was taking the job for the money.

KC’s response:

The hosts of MSNBC’s Morning Joe have become virulent critics of the President and those close to him,” Conway said. “Ignoring insults and insinuations is a valuable skill. But when sentiments are attributed to me that are not true, it is necessary to respond.”

The notion that I am serving for ‘the money’ or a ‘paycheck’ is absurd. As campaign manager, I made a fraction of what other consultants have made on unsuccessful presidential campaigns,” Conway wrote. “Then I walked away from dozens of opportunities for millions or dollars, and instead walked into the White House. I would do it again.”

First of all, who was offering her millions of dollars? Girl, please. Secondly, she’s a liar. That’s basically it. Trump seems to surround himself with people who as morally corrupt as he is. 

Meanwhile in the UK…

Labour (opposition party) can’t seem to figure out what their benefits policy is. 

Labour’s benefit payments policy is in “chaos” this afternoon after the party struggled to agree if it would scrap the freeze on welfare.

Which is a shame because

The government faces outrage after it was accused of setting a target to turn down the vast majority of benefit appeals.

Critics branded the system a “sham” after the policy was released by the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP).

The row involves Mandatory Reconsiderations (MRs) – internal reviews people must go through if their claims for welfare are rejected, before they can launch a full appeal.

MRs were already under fire because they are far less likely than full appeals to end in victory.

Now it’s been revealed staff have a performance measure that says 80% of decisions “are to be upheld” – in other words, MRs reject 80% of claims.

This is all stuff that most of us knew but it’s still disgusting. 

White Privilege

A budding heart surgeon studying at Oxford University who knifed her boyfriend during a violent row could avoid jail because of her “extraordinary” talent, a judge has said. Oxford Crown Court Judge Ian Pringle said that a custodial sentence, which would normally be meted out for such a crime, would prevent Lavinia Woodward from embarking on her chosen career – a sentence, which he said was, “too severe”. It was stated at the court, where the 24-year-old admitted to a charge of unlawful wounding, that she met her victim on Tinder before she launched into her attack on 30 September. The judge heard how she punched the man and swiped at him with a bread knife after drinking and taking drugs. The Cambridge-educated man was stabbed in the leg before she threw a laptop, glass and a jam jar at him at the iconic Christ Church College. Pringle said: “It seems to me that if this was a one-off, a complete one-off, to prevent this extraordinary able young lady from not following her long-held desire to enter the profession she wishes to, would be a sentence which would be too severe.

Who cares if she an aspiring heart surgeon? What kind of message does this send? Besides the obvious – privilege, blonde hair and blue eyes will get you everywhere. If only everyone was afforded such a chance…