Bad Moviethon #25 – Venom (2018)


Venom 2018 29%
While trying to take down Carlton, the CEO of Life Foundation, Eddie, a journalist, investigates experiments of human trials. Unwittingly, he gets merged with a symbiotic alien with lethal abilities.

It’s funny because I used to be such a huge Tom Hardy fan and at one point he was EVERYWHERE but Venom came and went for me. I didn’t hear about it until… well, I don’t remember now, but it was well after it came out.

I think Tom Hardy is a good actor, especially when it comes to unique characters. My only issue with him is that he’s unintelligible when he’s speaking with certain accents – and he insists on doing a different one in every movie. He has a distinctive voice already that I think accents just don’t work for him.

Naturally, two minutes into Venom and I was thrown by his accent. It was… bad. However, I could make out most of what he was saying. Progress! — and also subtitles because I learnt my lesson after Warrior.

Onto the movie and…Venom isn’t a bad movie at its core, it’s just…not very good. That’s not to say that it lacks entertainment value. The scenes with Eddie/Venom talking to each other are really good. It’s just lacking a lot of things – probably because it has a short run time of 92 mins (plus 20 mins of end credits – are they taking the piss?). It needed another 20 mins to establish some character motivations.

For instance, Riz Ahmed is doing some science mumbo jumbo with symbiotes… but why? What’s his end goal? Eddie seems to come to terms with Venom rather quickly. Eddie’s ex-girlfriend comes to terms with Venom even faster and it feels like there’s a huge chunk missing from the movie. It’s a Venom movie, but we hardly hear anything about Venom himself.

I did read that they cut 30-40 mins from it so maybe the plot progression is on the cutting room floor. I don’t know and the director didn’t do much to make me care. Or the movie just needed Spiderman.

Perhaps the sequel will be better?

Tom Hardy, modern day vigilante

So this happened…

Hollywood superstar Tom Hardy chased down and helped snare a moped thief after pursuing him through gardens and across a building site in south west London.

A witness said the Hollywood actor “switched into superhero mode” as he collared the man before checking him for weapons after the chase.

He sprinted through gardens and a building site before grabbing the thief by the scruff of the neck, and declaring, “I caught the c***,” said a witness.

This story amused me greatly, lol. 

My first thought that he was probably method acting or putting some kind of future building climbing movie montage training into action, and my second was that he’s lucky he lives in Richmond (nice, posh, affluent area). You can never be certain what people are carrying on them these days. Hollywood training or not, I’m leaving the chasing and sprinting to the police, thanks.

Anyway, kids, please don’t try this at home! Leave the c*** capturing to Tom! 

Legend (2015)

I recall being sort of excited about Legend before but the novelty of Double Tom Hardy wore off around the time the movie came out. Probably because I remembered why I don’t really fangirl over any of these people anymore. There are a myriad of reasons why I never made an attempt to see it, but I won’t even go into it. Actors are actors and real people who suck as much as the rest of us. It would be really great if society didn’t pretend that wasn’t the case, but what can you do? All I can do personally is take everything and everyone at face value and judge them by what’s on the screen because the only thing ‘real’ about most actors is the fact that they’re acting.

Anyway, soapbox aside, I wasn’t very sold on the concept of this movie for several reasons. The first being that The Krays story has been told many, many times and it isn’t even an interesting story. They were gangsters. They did gangster stuff. One was a little bit ‘off his rocker’ and they both ended up in jail. And as I suspected, the writer did his best to ‘humanize’ at least one of them, to the point where it was almost kind of jarring when he went kind of crazy. Perhaps that was the point, but again, I was really just wondering what the story was here. Continue reading “Legend (2015)”

sort of stupid and senseless: tom hardy

It pains me to do this, but I am an equal opportunity bitch, so. Last week I saw these tweets from a film critic about Tom on ONTD. Read from bottom to top. Continue reading “sort of stupid and senseless: tom hardy”

The Revenant | Official Teaser Trailer

More Tom Hardy. Woo! But this trailer literally tells me nothing. I guess it is just a teaser. Though all I can see is that some guys are shooting at other guys, it looks like it could be interesting.

Tom Hardy has interesting facial hair. Leonardo DiCaprio has interesting facial hair and interesting hair in general. I can’t tell if it’s real or weave. Or man extensions. Whatever you call them. Meave.

The setting is kind of nice to look at. I can’t remember where they filmed this now but all I know about this movie is that there was a lot of drama on set. And that Tom may or may not have punched/choked the director.

To conclude, I kind of want to see a movie of the set more than I want to see the actual movie, lol.

This Means War (2012)

I watched this movie again recently and I was kind of bemused at how terrible it is. It should probably be called This Means Catfish. Or This Is Creepy. I don’t know. I only watched it for Tom Hardy because this is the one movie where he’s not bulked up to the high heavens and speaking in an awful accent (I’ve gotta keep it real with you, Tom).

Continue reading “This Means War (2012)”


First of all, TWO TOM HARDY’S. I’m not a fan of movies glorifying real life criminals, but hell, The Kray Twins have been done many times before so it’s a moot argument at this point and anyway, it’s DOUBLE TOM HARDY.

Continue reading “LEGEND”