thoughts

retrosnark: SPN 5×22 (aka the one that I’m only posting because I’m clearing out drafts)


I’m technically still on hiatus with regards to my Supernatural viewing. I am…halfway through season 10 and I hear that they want to go up to 300 episodes so, I have plenty of time to not catch up. Seriously, how long is this madness going to go on for?

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Anyway, I had this in my drafts and it is clean up day! I was going to rewatch Swan Song a while ago, but then I realized that I’d rather eat my own hair. I’m not and have never been a huge fan of the episode. I remembered recently that my view on the show took a swift downturn after ‘Swap Meat’, lol. So most of the episodes after that point will never go down as favourites of mine.

I think back when it aired, Swan Song was okay. I have to admit that once I’d seen it for the third time, I wasn’t all that impressed by it. Especially with the ‘coda’ at the end. And in hindsight, I honestly find it hilarious that Jensen was happy to claim that it was his idea before he saw the season 6 scripts. LOL. The regret must have been deep.

Anyway, I think right now the main problem with the episode is that nothing has really changed since then. Their other brother (I can’t remember his name now, whoops!) is presumably still in hell….uh, are they just going to leave him there? Have they ever mentioned him again? Do they seriously not care that he’s down there? Are we supposed to buy the brotherly love when they are literally the combination of the worst older brothers ever? I have no idea if they’ve clarified this or not but they have the temerity to have God on their show – they can bring back the half-brother for a damn second.

Not only that but Swan Song marked the start of what I call the ‘reset finale’ wherein everything the season has been building up to goes to shit because the writers cannot be bothered. And sure, brotherly love saved the day but that only happened by way of brotherly neglect so it doesn’t count.

The sentimental memory lane stuff was nice and all but still just a front to cover up the fact that barely anything happened. Sure, Sam drunk a ton of demon blood and gave into Lucifer. Sure, Dean stupidly decided to go after him. Sure, he got his ass beat for his trouble. And then Castiel fixed his face and almost everything that happened from that point on rendered Swan Song irrelevant.

I like to think that shortly after writing it, Kripke smashed up his laptop and screamed, ‘WOO, I’M FREE!!!’ as he stared at the charred remains of a season that went downhill long before Swan Song.

Still, at least it was somewhat entertaining. The dreck that has been aired past season 8 makes Swan Song look like amazing television.

Was the brother’s name Adam? I am officially Team SAVE ADAM! Or whatever his name is. If Jake Abel isn’t available I’m confident that anyone still watching the show would not question a cardboard cutout being used in his place.


Figured I’d post this before I (thankfully) forget even more about the episode and show. I’m glad that my brain is attempting to maximize its storage capacity by removing unwanted information!

A brief aside about ‘The Shield’


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Am I the only one who constantly has (or had to given that the show is old now!) to suspend belief when the Strike Team (which consists of four cops) manage to take on multiple gangs(and these guys are usually violent, dangerous and armed) successfully…usually without backup? Occasionally there are so hiccups for plot purposes, but really…? They couldn’t make the team six guys or something?

It’s still a good show but…my belief is still suspended.

 

snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘Dirty Teacher’


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Dirty Teacher | Lifetime (2013) | Reading time ~5mins

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A high school senior becomes the victim of an elaborate frame-up after learning that her boyfriend is sleeping with their teacher.

You know it’s bad when a Lifetime movie plot instantly makes you think, ‘I keep reading about this fuckery in the news’. Once you can no longer question ‘Based On A True Story’ everything just goes to shit.

I’ve helpfully inserted a Youtube version of the movie below. Please don’t be fooled by the fact that it’s titled ‘Romantic Movie’ – THAT IS A LIE. Unless you’re someone who should be nowhere near a classroom.

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Thoughts on Blood Ties (TV | 2007)


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Plot: While trying to solve a complicated murder case, Toronto private investigator Vicki Nelson encounters dashing Henry Fitzroy, who looks to be in his 20s but claims to be a 450-year-old vampire. Vicki isn’t sure she buys Henry’s story, but since he seems to have insight into her case, she teams up with him. Their relationship becomes even more complex, however, when Vicki’s former police partner and ex-lover, Mike, takes an instant dislike to Henry.


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Ah. Blood Ties. I spent a week watching this show while getting some things done and it was a roller-coaster of emotions. A mixture of ‘man, this show is stupid‘ and laughing at the terrible special effects. And also at one of the character’s choice of bedroom attire. Red kimonos will never be sexy or even acceptable. Blue, maybe. But red? Nope. Goodbye. You don’t exist to me. They automatically remind me of cheesy dance moves, cheap cologne and stripper music. I tried to find a picture on Google but I’m assuming that someone up there is saving me from myself. (more…)

snarkview: 90210 (in which Liam Court was my brother from another mother and then he wasn’t).


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Well, my opening statement definitely has to be: 90210 is one of the dumbest shows I have ever seen. So, so, so very dumb. It was like watching aliens masquerading as pretty people for five seasons. The show is supposedly set on Earth, but you just have to wonder if the characters are living in a reality where the laws of logic simply don’t apply.

This show (and actually the entire franchise) is, as Google can attest, not very diverse. The CW casting policy appears to be vanilla ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

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I’m just sayin’. (more…)

‘Hand Of God’ (Amazon Original Series)


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Hand of God follows Pernell Harris (Ron Perlman ), a corrupt judge who suffers a breakdown and believes God is compelling him onto a path of vigilante justice.

This has to be one of the most unintentionally hilarious shows I’ve ever seen. And it really isn’t funny, but in its attempts at seriousness, it just fails on every level. The first scene literally shows this naked judge standing in a fountain, speaking in tongues. Fast forward a few scenes and we learn that that is all a reaction to his son shooting himself. And that before that, his son was forced to watch as some thug raped his wife.

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The judge comes across a young preacher and somehow leaves that interaction believing that he is Solomon. He starts to hear messages from his comatose son that supposedly lead him towards the rapist. He believes that God is using his son to help him find the culprit. Somehow, by the end of the first episode, he’s basically figured out that a cop is the rapist. He goes as far as having the cop strip down so that his son’s wife can identify his nether regions. Yes, that actually happened.
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Sons of Bromanarchy


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Sons of Anarchy ¦ FX

A man in his early 30s struggles to find a balance in his life between being a new dad and his involvement in a motorcycle club.

Well. This will go down as another show that didn’t live up to the hype. Not even during some of the earlier seasons. I can only hope that this show was just less idiotic when watched on a weekly basis. I’m not the best binge watcher, so it has taken me about 3 weeks to get through the first six seasons. Right now I’m on season 7. Imagine my shock when I saw that the first episode’s run time was 1 hr 15 minutes. Marilyn Manson showed up as a prisoner. And Courtney Love as a preschool teacher. Goodness. There has been a lot of fast forwarding to say the least. (more…)

The People vs. O.J. Simpson


American Crime Story: The People vs. O.J. Simpson 

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So, hands up if your parents still think that O.J. was set up?

Ironically enough, it’s probably likely that the prosecution and police tried to manoeuvre things. I think it is commonly known that they planted evidence and desperately tried to make certain things stick.

That being said, the biggest mistake they made was putting Mark Fuhrman on the stand. I’ve seen a lot of commenters complaining about the jury deliberating for four hours (let’s be honest, after spending nine months locked away in various hotels, can anyone blame them?) If I was a jury member, my mind would have been made up after Furhman pleads the fifth.

Hell, after the glove incident, my mind would have been made up. Not necessarily because I think O.J. is innocent but because all they needed to counteract that was basic science. The glove shrunk, it was covered blood, the material was stiff – basic science should have told them to keep the glove far, far away from evidence. Stevie Wonder could tell you that it wasn’t going to ‘fit’, posturing or no from O.J. And well, brother Johnnie ran with it and if it doesn’t fit, y’all gotta acquit.

Anyway, onto the TV show itself. It was good. Really, really good and not as theatrical as it could have been. The only person whose acting was unconvincing was Jordana Brewster, mostly because her face wasn’t moving when she was trying to emote.

I guess I will kinda review by character because the plot was a given so I can’t decimate it or anything.  (more…)

Legend (2015)


I recall being sort of excited about Legend before but the novelty of Double Tom Hardy wore off around the time the movie came out. Probably because I remembered why I don’t really fangirl over any of these people anymore. There are a myriad of reasons why I never made an attempt to see it, but I won’t even go into it. Actors are actors and real people who suck as much as the rest of us. It would be really great if society didn’t pretend that wasn’t the case, but what can you do? All I can do personally is take everything and everyone at face value and judge them by what’s on the screen because the only thing ‘real’ about most actors is the fact that they’re acting.

Anyway, soapbox aside, I wasn’t very sold on the concept of this movie for several reasons. The first being that The Krays story has been told many, many times and it isn’t even an interesting story. They were gangsters. They did gangster stuff. One was a little bit ‘off his rocker’ and they both ended up in jail. And as I suspected, the writer did his best to ‘humanize’ at least one of them, to the point where it was almost kind of jarring when he went kind of crazy. Perhaps that was the point, but again, I was really just wondering what the story was here. (more…)

Franklin & Bash (2010-2014) and The Good Wife


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LOL, this picture is funny to me for some strange reason

I have had Franklin & Bash on my watch list for a while and I finally got around to watching it recently. I was pleasantly surprised. Despite the fact that one of the main characters throws up a lot in graphic detail, it is a pretty funny show. At least up until season 3. (more…)