Tag: recap

Lethal Weapon (FOX) 


Rebooting the hit movie franchise of the same name, “Lethal Weapon” follows Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh as they combat crime in Los Angeles. Following the death of his wife and their unborn child, ex-Navy SEAL Riggs moves to California in search of a new start at the LAPD, where he is paired up with Murtaugh, who recently suffered a near-fatal heart attack. The newcomer’s tendency to not look before he leaps clashes with Murtaugh’s more considered technique, but when they look past the surface friction, they see the partnership might give them what they need.

Technically, this is snarkview. I saw adverts for the show on TV, but it wasn’t until I actually saw the promo on YouTube randomly that I was sucked into watching it. 

The show is, well, charming in its own way. The pilot episode was absolutely horrible, but there’s enough in it to make you continue. That being said, there’s only so much disbelief that I can suspend. 

That the LAPD would continue to allow Riggs and Murtaugh to work together is ridiculous. That we’re supposed to be okay with the whole Riggs wants to die/or does he?! thing is just as ridiculous when his half of his recklessness is just random. I get that he’s the crazy one, but it’s a lot easier to digest in a two hour movie. The entire show is ridiculous. Depending on where you look, people either love it or hate it. 

Take this review on IMDB (where this show has a rating of 8.7/10? LOL)…

I always read the 1/10 reviews because they’re entertaining. And much less annoying than those 10/10 reviews. 

Daman Wayans is a hack who should never have been picked to play Murtaugh.
1/10 | 5 Jul 2017
This show is a sad attempt to imitate a fairly decent movie franchise. Clayne Crawford is barely adequate as Riggs. He’s not even remotely convincing as a bad ass, despite the show’s desperate attempts to portray him as such.
And that accent is just plain annoying. Also, the hair. WTF is that hair about? Speaking of hair, or rather, lack thereof, Daman Wayans was a horrible choice for Murtaugh. He minces and prances through the show like a drag queen reject. His treatment of his new partner reeks of outright contempt, nothing like the grumpy, but ultimately good-natured Murtaugh of the movie. He also is not remotely convincing as a cop. He wouldn’t be convincing as a meter maid. Face it, he’s just a bad comedian who’s also a bad actor and it’s a shame that a fine character like Murtaugh was wasted on this hack. This show needs to be cancelled and the creators need to apologize for ever making it to begin with. But then, that’s me.

I love the last line. Anyway, let me address the most important part. 

Riggs’s hair….

When a character spends half of the time flicking back their hair, it’s distracting. Especially if their haircut kinda sucks. 

Anyway, that review is harsh. I probably wouldn’t have cast Damon Wayans, but he isn’t bad on the show. None of them are except for maybe Hilarie Burton, but that’s only because I feel like she sucks the life out of everything. 

Murtaugh on the show can’t seem to decide whether or not he likes or loathes Riggs. I’m not sure if all episodes aired in the correct order but it was weird for him to be all we’re family in one episode and then the man is nuts in the next. I practically had whiplash. 

Anyway, to sum up season 1:

  • Riggs’s heavily pregnant wife dies while he’s in the middle of investigating a drug cartel related to someone called Tito Flores
  • Six months later, he’s a mess and clearly unfit to work but transfers to LAPD anyway (something to do with his father in law yadda yadda).
  • Murtaugh has heart issues and is just returning back to work, he also has a baby daughter and two kids
  • They argue, Riggs jumps out of buildings a lot. Riggs drinks a lot
  • They’re family
  • They hate each other
  • —-(Therapy sesh x 200 because they wanted to be seen as taking the whole thing seriously (despite making it a running gag – somehow it worked better in the movies)).—
  • They’re fam–no, wait, they hate each other
  • ‘We are faaaamilyyyyy but I want a new partner!’
  • ‘We will save Riggs’s alcoholism with our love!!’
  • Christmas episode – maybe Riggs’ wife’s death wasn’t an accident? Maybe they killed her because he was going after their drug cartel. The cartel leader says ‘You’re [Riggs] not that important’. I was hoping that they would leave it at there but nope.
  • It turns out that the cartel did kill her, but only to get to her father who’s the state attorney (or something) in LA. It was very convoluted. 
  • Along the way, Riggs meets Hilarie Burton and they fall in lust blah blah blah blah. 
  • Murtaugh and his family are cute
  • …. and, after Riggs learned that his FIL knew who killed his daughter the entire time, he turns him in and then goes to Mexico to kill the cartel leader. 
  • Before all of that Riggs kidnaps some guy called Gideon (who is a torturer for the cartel) from police custody. He takes him to his RV, and then up to a cabin and shit gets real and Murtaugh shoots Gideon. Gideon falls down a huge waterfall and washes away. 
  • Two scenes later, Gideon is fine. I honestly thought maybe he had a twin brother but no. The whole gunshot and drowning thing just super turbocharged him. 
  • The finale was crazy bad basically. 

    That’s fine but…

    • Murtaugh, who has three kids and wife decides to follow an unhinged Martin Riggs to Mexico.
    • Bruh. 
    • After spending the entire season bitching about how this dude is going to get you killed you follow him?
    • Even with your three kids. 
    • Your wife.
    • Your pacemaker. 
    • YOUR PACEMAKER. 
    • It was ridiculous but #family
    • Oh and Riggs makes a point of calling the cartel guy to let him know that he’s going to kill him. Doesn’t seem like a smart move but I’m sure Riggs knows Mexico better than the cartels do. They’ll never find him!

    All in all it was entertaining.  I’d recommend it if police procedurals don’t drive you nuts and you’re not someone who’s too good for network TV (you’re only edgy if you’re always watching something on Netflix 😂). 

    Verdict: 6/10

    Side note: I think McG loves CGI explosions almost as much as I love boybands. 

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    snarkview: The Quad & Zoe Ever After (BET)


    Note: this was orginally written and forgotten about in May. I’ve decided to set it free, lol. 

    Before I start, I just have to ask. What would it cost for BET to have one sensible show. Just one. One. It’s bad enough that you have to pick through a sea of whiteness to find a POC character on other television networks. The one network where that isn’t a problem should have at least one decent show, but no. We get neck rolls and stereotypes. If I wanted to watch that, I’d stick to VH1’s reality line up.

    Anyway, I digress.

    Zoe Ever After | 2016 | BET (more…)

    snarkview: Hit The Floor, seasons 1-3 (VH1), part two


    This is longer than intended so I need at least one person to read all of it. You’ll get a prize!

    The series follows Ahsha Hayes (Taylour Paige), the talented yet naive daughter of single mom Sloane Hayes (Kimberly Elise). She joins the NBA cheerleading/dance team called the Los Angeles Devil Girls. She quickly discovers that her mother lied and kept secrets involving life as a Devil Girl herself. Unsure whom to trust, Ahsha must navigate her own way through the dangerous and temptation-filled world of pro basketball. Derek Roman (McKinley Freeman) tries to lure Ahsha away from her boyfriend, German Vega (Jonathan McDaniel). The more she resists his advances, the more persistent [and tempting] he becomes as German’s insecurity overwhelms him. Ahsha’s teammate, Kyle Hart (Katherine Bailess), tries to bring him to his senses and reveals her own agenda as she explains how the world works and how she’s making that world work for her. Ahsha’s father, Pete Davenport (Dean Cain), knows firsthand how difficult that life can be as a former all-star player for the Devils. He becomes the new head coach and discovers that his past is even more complicated than he thought. Players and dancers are forbidden to date, which only makes breaking the rules more tempting as history seems to repeat itself. Devil Girls’ team captain, Jelena Howard (Logan Browning) is dating player Terrence Wall (Robert Christopher Riley) flouting the rules as the classic “mean girl” trying to keep Ahsha off balance because she sees her as a threat

    Oh, where do I start! I’ve been joking that I could just post this with a blank page and it would make no difference but that’s mean and incorrect. This show has an abundance of plot. It’s just that most of it was… well, let’s get into it.

    First of all, this is one of those shows where I’m instantly hardwired to dislike the main character. The actress is fine (for VH1, lol) but the character is just, well talented but naive is an understatement. She’s just stupid and annoying.

    I love you, stupid

    Season 3 sees Raquel now married to Kyle for green card purposes (this is after Kyle spends all of season two ripping people off so she can get her divorce papers from some loan shark, but okay).

    Oscar is in jail due to Sloane handing in a recording that incriminates him in a murder case.

    Lionel is running the team but… Jelena and Terrence are trying to buy it from her. Or the League are forcing a sale. I have no fucking clue.

    Anyway, also, Zero and Jude get back together, go public and they’re very cute, but oddly (haha, well, sort of) disconnected from all of the other characters bar Lionel and Jelena. It was like having a show within a show. On one hand, it’s good because they seem to be the only characters living on Earth and having normal interactions, on the other, it mean that they had little screen time. Ruuuuude

    (more…)

    snarkview: Hit The Floor, seasons 1-3 (VH1), part one


    This is longer than intended so I need at least one person to read all of it. Part one and two. LOL.

    The series follows Ahsha Hayes (Taylour Paige), the talented yet naive daughter of single mom Sloane Hayes (Kimberly Elise). She joins the NBA cheerleading/dance team called the Los Angeles Devil Girls. She quickly discovers that her mother lied and kept secrets involving life as a Devil Girl herself. Unsure whom to trust, Ahsha must navigate her own way through the dangerous and temptation-filled world of pro basketball. Derek Roman (McKinley Freeman) tries to lure Ahsha away from her boyfriend, German Vega (Jonathan McDaniel). The more she resists his advances, the more persistent [and tempting] he becomes as German’s insecurity overwhelms him. Ahsha’s teammate, Kyle Hart (Katherine Bailess), tries to bring him to his senses and reveals her own agenda as she explains how the world works and how she’s making that world work for her. Ahsha’s father, Pete Davenport (Dean Cain), knows firsthand how difficult that life can be as a former all-star player for the Devils. He becomes the new head coach and discovers that his past is even more complicated than he thought. Players and dancers are forbidden to date, which only makes breaking the rules more tempting as history seems to repeat itself. Devil Girls’ team captain, Jelena Howard (Logan Browning) is dating player Terrence Wall (Robert Christopher Riley) flouting the rules as the classic “mean girl” trying to keep Ahsha off balance because she sees her as a threat

    Oh, where do I start! I’ve been joking that I could just post this with a blank page and it would make no difference but that’s mean and incorrect. This show has an abundance of plot. It’s just that most of it was… well, let’s get into it.

    First of all, this is one of those shows where I’m instantly hardwired to dislike the main character. The actress is fine (for VH1, lol) but the character is just, well talented but naive is an understatement. She’s just stupid and annoying.

    (more…)

    Bad Moviethon #7 – The Perfect Guy


    (POTENTIALLY)
    BAD MOVIE MARATHON #7

    …in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

    The Perfect Guy | 2015 | IMDB

    Plot:

    With a fulfilling career and a loving relationship, lobbyist Leah Vaughn (Sanaa Lathan) seems to have it all. Things come crashing down when Dave, her long-term boyfriend, questions her future plans for marriage and a family. The resulting breakup leaves Leah heartbroken, until she meets the charming and handsome Carter Duncan (Michael Ealy). Soon, the budding romance turns dangerous as Carter reveals his volatile nature, forcing Leah to turn the tables on the man she thought was Mr. Right.

    Rotten Tomatoes score: 19%

    Review excerpt:

    The unsure tone screams that this is a director embarrassed by the film he’s making.

    First of all, Michael Ealy.

    Secondly, Sanaa Lathan’s hair and wardrobe were on point.

    The movie begins with Leah being all domestic with her boyfriend before she breaks up with him because he’s not ready to propose. Sometime soon, she bumps into some guy callee Carter at a coffee shop. Well. More like she turned around and he was grinning at her creepily. It was like he was paid by smile and crazy eyes because there was a lot of that in the opening half an hour. Although, Michael Ealy’s smile and crazy eyes would probably work on me too. Anyway, there’s so iced coffee related flirting stuff (I think that’s what it was supposed to be).

    Anyway, after that, Carter saves her from some douche at a bar. They have dinner and things progress. They go dancing and they end up hooking up in the bathroom (recipe for disaster and also unsanitary) and they begin dating. Carter charms her parents, her friends, her cat. Everybody in nearby distance.

    At one point I’m sure that someone dreamily says that he seems too good to be true. 

    (more…)

    retrosnark: supernatural, 4×09 – tepid at best


    This isn’t a new recap, but I found an old document with my thoughts on the episode and it was hilarious to me, so to anyone who misses my recaps – this is for you!

    For some reason, I split it into the flashbacks and after the flashbacks. I’m not sure why I didn’t just approach it as a whole. 

    I’ve had a chance to watch it again, without feeling like I’m going to throw up

    …off to a good start!

    Sam addresses the body issue and makes Ruby take Ruby 1.5 back (NOOOO!!). Then we see Jane Doe in hospital and she’s in a coma and they call TOD and she becomes Ruby and Ruby 2.0 starts asking for fries (I hope she didn’t get any)

    I was a huge fan of Ruby 2.0 if you can’t tell.

    she gives him the ‘imagooddemonbecauseirememberwhatit’sliketobehumanandsoiknowwhatit’slikelosesomeone’ mumbo jumbo. Funny how she fails to mention that she wishes that she was like other demons…?? I mean isn’t that what she said to Dean when she spun him the same line?

    On Dean and Anna:

    I don’t want to see Dean and Anna being all lovey-dovey throughout the entire episode. But I’m not surprised that it’s Dean she’s gets with…but chemistry wise…I hope they make it believable because in the ep when they smiled at each other meaningfully I was all ‘why are they looking at each other like that…’ and it was more creepy than cute.

    Lol! Now I remember that this was back when we all knew what would happen in the next episode because of the spoiler culture. Someone would more or less upload the script outline for each episode way in advance. 

    After a long jumbled block of text that makes little sense, I go on to assess each character. 

    Alistair
    He was AWESOME!!!

    Mark Rolston was audible at least! The other Alistair sounded like he had marbles in his mouth. 

    Castiel
    I am in love with Castiel 🙂 In the sneak peek when Sam is like ‘Cas, please’ or whatever and just walks over puts the two fingers on Sam’s head and knocks him…that was hot…

    Whaaaaaaat. In love. With Castiel! Wait, you know what, this was season 4, so I won’t judge myself. I also have no idea what I’m describing here. I’m sure that it was tepid at best. 

    Uriel
    He called Ruby a stain!! *hugs Uriel* and in the next one he attacks her!! I love him 😀 (Not as much as Castiel)

    Loooooooool. *hugs Uriel*

    Castiel&Uriel
    Wow…what an entrance…10 secs of the ep and they still manage to steal it…especially Castiel….

    Still not judging myself. Much.

    Ruby
    What a bitch.

    Truly my favourite character. 

    Anna
    I wanna know what she did! But I feel sorry for her…good actress as well. ‘smoke ’em if you got ’em – I liked that

    …Well, I’ll take my word for it. I barely remember what this woman looks like!

    Dean
    It was great how he didn’t judge Sam and he just listened….that was so touching

    Oh gosh, I still liked Dean at this point! This is the ultimate throwback. 

    Sam
    His girlfriend gave him the evils cause he lost the knife…shame on you Sam. Ermmmm his mojo doesn’t work…uhoh…and KILL AN ANGEL SAM????? Oh boy…
    Jared was amazing though

    I was a really bad recapper back then because again, I have no idea what the hell I’m describing here. I’m sure that Jared truly was amazing, though. 

    Ruby 3.0
    I WANT HER BACK!!

    Ruby 1.5 – Better than 2.0

    More evidence that 2.0 is my ultimate fave. 

    Overall it was a good episode weakened by GC as Ruby, granted she was a lot better but still bad and she ruined Jared’s scenes.

    Lmao. She was a lot better but still bad…. Hahahahha. Oh dear. What a backhanded compliment. 

    8/10 from me..

    Well, damn, 8? I haven’t liked anything that much since…Since…Since…Since…

    … Yeah, never. 

    I’m kidding, I’m kidding…

    I vaguely remember this episode being the start of what killed the show. The neverending Angels vs Something battle. In that season it was demons, but 4.09 and the episode after were both terrible. 

    Anyway, I’ve blocked it out from memory thankfully. 

    How To Screw Up A TV Show (as told by ABC Family’s “Twisted”)


    I’m about three years too late but this show was supposed to be easy viewing for me…but I ended up hate watching the last half of the season due to the foolishness.

    Anyway, here’s how to screw up a show as per Twisted.


    1.Have a decent plot

    When charismatic Danny Desai returns to his hometown after spending five years in juvenile detention, he sees that things are no longer as he remembered them. His mother’s socialite status has plummeted due to his incarceration, and his childhood friends Jo and Lacey have grown apart and are at opposite ends of the social spectrum. Lacey is popular and dating the captain of the soccer team, while Jo struggles to put the trauma of the past behind her. Jo wants to give Danny a second chance, but when she asks for answers about the motive behind his crime, he won’t — or can’t — reveal the information. When a fellow student is found dead in her home, the town spins into a frenzy of suspicion and mystery — with Danny as prime suspect. Jo and Lacey must decide if their childhood friend is guilty or just a victim being persecuted for his twisted secrets.

    (more…)

    snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘Dirty Teacher’


    s-v

    Dirty Teacher | Lifetime (2013) | Reading time ~5mins

    maxresdefault

    A high school senior becomes the victim of an elaborate frame-up after learning that her boyfriend is sleeping with their teacher.

    You know it’s bad when a Lifetime movie plot instantly makes you think, ‘I keep reading about this fuckery in the news’. Once you can no longer question ‘Based On A True Story’ everything just goes to shit.

    I’ve helpfully inserted a Youtube version of the movie below. Please don’t be fooled by the fact that it’s titled ‘Romantic Movie’ – THAT IS A LIE. Unless you’re someone who should be nowhere near a classroom.

    (more…)

    snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘A Deadly Adoption’


    A Deadly Adoption | Lifetime (2015)

    adeadlyadoption1

    A distanced couple decide to take in a seemingly innocent pregnant woman in hopes of adopting her unborn child. However, there is more to a book than its cover.


    I love a good Lifetime movie. They always tend to follow a similar pattern. There’s a husband of good social standing; a wife who’s either a nag or as interesting as cardboard. There’s a young heathen, who inevitably ends up dead or jailed, who tempts the husband and usually gets a little clingy. The husband has a huge revelation and realises that he loves the wife because she’s sane. The wife also gets to prove that she’s strong by (usually) taking down the young heathen. And then husband and wife live happily ever after!
    (more…)