The Girl That Hates Everything | Crowds
I’m going to create a new banner because the other one creeps me out. Eyes? What was I thinking?! So long, shitty banner.
Hello, new one.
…Well, I’m no graphic designer.
CROWDS. There’s always some foolishness happening with crowd. I’m telling you, it’s like some kind of haywire spirit possesses people when they’re forced to navigate through a large crowd. People are so rude.
I shall break down the various things that I ‘hate’ about crowds.
- There’s always one person who ignores social boundaries and breaches personal space.
- They seem to want to create space where there isn’t any.
- If you stumble, they will back up faster than a white grandma accidentally walking into a black church, leaving you to flounder and cause a chain reaction of grumbles, eye rolls and death stares.
- Examples: train stations, shopping centres
- This person doesn’t give a fuck, they will physically part the crowd by any means necessary.
That awkward game of ‘Which way?’
- Make up your mind
- Move out of the damn way.
- Why are they always in the middle somehow?!
- And then just as you see an opening, THEY MOVE! It’s like playing Tic Tac Toe with humans.
- They will stop in the middle of the crowd and cause an unnecessary pile up.
- They are the worst.
- The bargers are the aspiring pushers.
- They’re not brave enough to execute a full on push to so they try to squeeze past using their shoulders.
- They seem to be most prominent when one is running late. WHY?
- We get it, you don’t want to be apart from each other but PLEASE. Walking in a line of more than three is unacceptable.
The Zig Zaggers
- They will cut across back and forth like there’s no tomorrow
- Good luck getting past them.
- I’m not interested in how much money you wasted in H&M
- I might be interested in the football scores, but not enough to want to hear your opinion on it.
- I’m not interested in your relationship drama
- I’m not interested in whatever shitty television show you watched last night
- I’m not interested in your life at all
- What I’m interested in is you getting out of the way
- Just stop
- Move to one side and think about where you need to go.
- Don’t wander into the epicenter of the crowd, get in the way and then realise that you need to go the other way. Please.
I think I have covered most of it. I won’t even get into escalator etiquette.
People are savages.