Considering that last season I watched the first episode and then skipped the next nine or so, I have no idea why I’m watching this one. Probably because they managed to keep Bobby out of the episode.
Anyway, yesterday I got caught up in a Cristiano Ronaldo inspired Youtube black hole. And I came across this video, specifically the 3:55 mark. I was amazed. Not by the free kick but by the commentary. I don’t know who he is but I am inspired. Usually when commentators lose their shit over a goal it’s just unintelligible noise but for this guy, it was a dream. And not just any dream.
“This is not just a dream, it’s a wet dream of orgasmic proportions!”
Once he had time to regain his composure, he turned his attention to the replays and remarked: “This has got more curves to it than Jessica Rabbit on steroids!”
I can only imagine how he’d describe Sam’s hair. Probably something along the lines of, ‘An oil drenched wanton hairball that spreads in a Japanese fan-esque semi-circular arched wave‘.