snarkview: 7.19 – Dean, Sam and Booby-Bobbeh have all fucked the same chick.

READ THE TITLE AGAIN. 

Ugh, what a mental image. The Bobby part that is. With Sam and Dean, well…it’s understandable. But still pretty fucking weird. And, seriously, this is all that I took from the episode if I ignore Booby-Bobbeh and every scene he was in.

Episode title: Of Grave Importance
What it should be called instead: The One Where You Almost Die of Boredom. Again.

WHAT HAPPENED:

I think it started off with two dumbass teenagers in a haunted house. “Oh, this is wrong we shouldn’t be here” “I know, but we’re dumbasses in the opening of a Supernatural episode – death lies ahead” “YAY!!”. It didn’t go exactly like that but I can assure you that my version is much more entertaining.

They die.

leviathan-esque title card in a season with about three non-filler episodes. go fucking figure.

After the opening, Sam and Dean are in a diner  talking. Dean mentions Dick Roman, I stare at Sam’s hair…I wonder where they get these fugly shirts from…I wonder what I’m having for breakfast. I realise that I don’t even eat breakfast. Oh. Oh. Sorry! I’ll get back to the episode now. Dean gets a call from Annie. She’s some hunter that the boys know, y’know. One of those we-have-so-much-long-winded-history-together-even-though-we-have-never-called-on-you-for-help-or-acknowledged-your-existence-until-this-episode kind of people that they “know”. Please, show. Don’t insult me. The other fans, sure. But not me. So yes, she asks for help on a hunt and Dean’s all, “Yeah, sure. Fine! I know that this episode will suck so let me end this phone call and move onto one of our  more humorous moments” Again, it may not have gone like that exactly but far more entertaining than what he actually said.

Sam: You know that she and Bobby had a thing, right?

SAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

WE DON’T NEED TO KNOW. DEAN DOESN’T NEED TO KNOW AND WE DON’T NEED TO KNOW.

And then Dean’s all like, I mighta had a thing with her too. Eventually Sam admits that he has too and, lol this Annie check gets around doesn’t she. Sam’s explanation was pretty funny that. “She was stressed, and I, I, I…..didn’t have a soul?” of course it also made me realise that

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DEATH BY SAM WINCHESTER’S PEEN’O’DEATH WOULD BE HAPPENING*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But after the next scene, I’d say that she deserves it. She walks into the house where the dumbasses were with no weapons (sigh). Looks around, spots the bodies and the *DIES. (Told youu). Now usually this would be the part where we never see this random woman again but….

It’s all about ghosts and…ghost!bobby and, does anyone actually still give a shit? Sam and Dean get radio silence from Annie and decide  to look for her. Of course this is all prefaced with scenes of Bobby screaming “YOU FUCKING IDJITS. Y U NO SEE ME EVEN THOUGH I’M A GHOST. IDJITS! LOOK AT ME! I’M IN A PINK TUTU! LOOK AT ME!!!” or something, like they can fucking hear him. Dude, shut the fuck up already. Dean momentarily leaves the flask (I’ll get back to that) behind but the remembers it meaning that (spoiler alert: BOBBY HAS BOOBS. Joke. That was a joke) Bobby’s coming too.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

They get there and Annie meets up with Ghost!Bobby and blah, blah, blah. But, lol they both fail at being ghosts and can’t touch anything or see anything. BOBBY HAS BEEN A GHOST FOR A MONTH, GUYS. HE HAS DRUNK BEER, HE HAS MOVED BOOKS, HE HAS…DEFILED PAPER (PROBABLY), HE EVEN SAVED A FALLING ROBOTIC CAT FROM A TREE.  WHY CAN HE SUDDENLY NOT DO ANYTHING? But no he can’t and we’re treated to Ghost 101. Boring!

Some ghost called Victoria tells them that this other dude is evil and killed them all blah, blah. Annie by the way is like an Ellen 2.0. Just what this show needed.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>boring, stupid unimportant stuff happens<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

After Sam and Dean leave to do research. They end up back in their motel room at some point and Dean’s in the shower. IN THE SHOWER. I may have gotten a little excited.  BUT THEN WE SEE HIS ARM AND HEAD FOR THREE SECONDS AND…THE CAMERA PANS TO….Bobby.

Ew.

He writes a message in the mirror after Dean (who’s looking pretty good post-shower, yum) is all like, “Who’s there” and Bobby helpfully writes “Bobby”. Awww. Sam and Dean make some shocked faces for a few minutes. I assume that that’s all they did, I got distracted.

They go back to the house and somehow see Victoria who tries to tell that that they’re about  to burn the wrong bones (or whatever) and that it was the other mean!ghost who killed all of them blah, blah blah. But  then mean!ghost (who’s been listening in, clearly Vicky, Bobby and Annie were too stupid to realise that he’d fucking hear everything) comes over and…kills Victoria…again. Oh well. And then (and pay attention here), he puts something of his in Sam’s pocket – BOBBY AND ANNIE SEE THE ENTIRE THING – and then is attached to Sam and Dean when they leave to kill him (again) or whatever. Leaving Bobby and Annie behind…sigh. But then Bobby’s like, “HE MUST HAVE PUT SOMETHING ON THEM”. WHAT. MUST? MUST? YOU JUST WATCHED HIM DO IT! Ugh, what is this shit.  Also…really, ghosts are bound to a physical object that has to be close to someone to be able to haunt them/follow them around. LOL, oh show. We have six other seasons that say otherwise. Fail.

They drive somewhere. The mean!ghost attacks Sam for a few minutes and Sam’s all, “OMG! OWWWWWWWW! DEAN MAKE IT STOP, OUCH. DAMMIT, OW!” and…well mean!ghost eventually dies.

They go back to the house and RING-A-DING-DING they can see Bobby! “You can see me?” You don’t fucking say. Bobby goes to get rid of the other ghosts or something, and tells Dean to keep the flask safe.

OH YEAH, even though I cottoned onto this like, 500 episodes ago and thought it was stupid. Sam finally realises that the flask is what’s keeping Bobby around, and that’s why he couldn’t find Bobby when he tried to use a talking board to contact him. Well done Sam. Now toss the flask into FIRE. Do it! /wishful thinking. Sam and Dean say some shit about maybe tossing it into fire behind his back and Bobby tries to defend himself, saying that he stuck around to help them. Blah, blah. Dean gets pissed and says something about natural order (I’m pretty sure that argument will always fail when it’s coming from Sam or Dean) and how Bobby should have gone (hear, hear) and Bobby goes off in a huff.

Maybe something else happens, but I have no idea.

THE END

Thoughts: DULL, DULL, DULL, DULL, DULL. I don’t CARE about Booby any more. Nor did I find the whole Bobby, Sam and Dean sleeping with the same chick thing funny. Sam’s hair was just, simply not up to my standards. The ghost plot probably would have been better if they hadn’t fucked up what they’d established about the ghosts before. They used the house from Playthings, which was a much, much better episode. WHY. Also, really? Another filler episode? Apparently having an extra episode this season means that we need 5 more filler episodes that we had last season. It’s sad when the only memorable scenes of an episode are Dean in the shower and Dean after his shower.

 Next week: I’m pretty sure I’m going to be bitching about Felicia Day. How sure is pretty sure? Really pretty sure.

snarkview: 7.17, the born-again standard “let’s rehash old plots and fuck ’em up”.

7.17, The Born Again Identity.

This episode was down as Cas’ big return. His chance for redemption! HIS GLORIOUS…something. But…it’s apparently about Sam ending up in a mental hospital.

Oh.

No, seriously. How did I not know this? Sure I don’t go looking for spoilers but all I heard in the run up to this episode was CAS, CAS, CAS, CAS – and oh Sam has a breakdown. On another note I refuse to call Lucifer “Hallucifer”. What is wrong with you people?  

So, this episode was Sam-centric. That’s usually code for “It’s about Sam, but there will be limited Sam POV or it’ll be mind numbingly boring”.

  • It starts with Sam running from Lucifer or something. He’s in some alley way or something and idk he does drugs or something but there are drugs. More running. Well it’s more jogging that running. And, oops. Sammy boy jogs in front of the slowest speeding car in the history of television.
  • He’s in a mental hospital, due to the fact that…I don’t know, perhaps he said some stuff about Lucifer and they were like, “A-ha, he’s one of them” and there’s some stuff about  how he’s on the verge of death, how the longest someone went without sleep is 11 days. I’m pretty sure that those things called ‘sedatives’ are supposed to help Sam with that. But apparently Sam’s immune to all kinds of medication because they don’t work.
Aww. 
….
WELL, DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. THIS IS SUPERNATURAL
  • So Dean goes off looking for a cure and it’s so fucking tedious. He calls every number Bobby has and finds nothing but idk Theoretical!Spirit Bobby drops some book that magically reveals a card with a number on it. Dean calls the number and speaks to this guy (I could not understand a word this man said) and he tells Dean all about some healer called Emanuel that cured his eye).
  • Dean goes looking for this Emanuel, but not before he ganks a demon. OH DEMONS ARE BACK. HURRAY and when Emanuel does arrive, whaddya know bitches, it’s Castiel.
  • Meanwhile Sam’s in hospital and NGL, he looks hot. But it’s just the standard stuff, Lucifer being snarky, playing grating songs, making maggots appear in his sandwich. MAGGOT FILLING. It’s like a throw back to season 3.
  • Oh wait. But seriously, he  must be the most toned and bulked up person who’s wasting away. I love how they can have him remain awake in an episode where he’s drugged up and not like, have him be asleep the whole time. It’s almost as though he didn’t spend a quarter of an episode in a closet that one time. Or almost as though he wasn’t in that one episode for 5 minutes that one time. Or almost as though he wasn’t in an episode for 30 seconds that one time. THE ONE TIME LESS SCREEN IS JUSTIFIED, AND…WE GET THIS.
  • There’s some girl called Meredith or something, who just happens to stroll into Sam’s room and just happens to be haunted by her dead brother. And, if she was a hallucination it’d be a good way to maybe justify that screen time. BUT SHE’S REAL. SAM IS GOING TO HUNT WHILE SLEEP DEPRIVED AND ON THE VERGE OF D-D-DEATH. It’s so effing tedious. There’s this one particularly scene where she gives Sam some candy bar or energy bar and he can’t open it. My. Heart. Bleeds. I’m the worst Sam-girl ever, lol.
  • MEANWHILE,  Emanuestiel has agreed to help Dean save Sam and they’re in the car and Dean tells Emanuestiel all about how Cas betrayed him and “broke his brother” and did I mention that Emanuestiel doesn’t remember anything past strolling out of the river butt nekkid. It just makes Cas that much more annoying and I want to throw something at the screen.
  • Dean goes to buy something from the store and is upended by some more demons. I was kind of expecting a scene ala “Let It Bleed” where Dean goes all Steven Seagel and beats the shit out of them and kills them without actual moving but alas, he gets himself thrown into a glass freezer door or something. AND, DRUMROLL…Meg appears and saves the day.  For the love of Sam, stop. Stop bringing her back.  Stop ruining the character even more than you have already. STOP. But yeah, she says some stuff. I can’t actually understand a word she says. But apparently the demons and therefore Crowley want Castiel for some reason and…she’s tagging along. Whatever it was I can guarantee you that  it was stupid and made no sense okay. So maybe I wasn’t listening. 🙂
  • Back in the car there’s an awkward scene where it’s meant to be awkward in the car. But it’s just painful for everybody. Dean looks uninterested, Meg is just smirking and Cas is all *CONFUSED FACE*. But they make it back to the hosp and somehow Emanuestiel realises that he’s Cas (I think Meg tells him that he’s an angel, that’s what it sounded like). Dean’s all like, “You have the juice to kill all these demons”. Oh, yeah. There’s a bunch of demons randomly scattered at the hospital. They obviously never consider the fact that the demons could be INSIDE doing something to you know, that other guy Sam. But whatevs. Dean gives Cas the trenchcoat, and he puts it on despite the fact its covered in blood and all sorts and seriously. Ew.
  • Lemme go back to Sam for a sec, the usual stuff has been happening and he somehow manages to help the girl get rid of her brother. I see he’s can work a lighter but not open a candy bar. The lights smash and he tells the girl to run and then the workers come in and take him away. Electric shock therapy. ‘Cept, worker doing that is…a demon. Ouch. But hey, Sam’s hair looks good.
  • Outside, Cas manages to remember how to gank a demon long enough to remember  everything in about 2. 3 seconds. He should be dead, he bleats afterwards. Blah, blah, blah. SHUT UP AND GO SAVE SAM!
  • Inside he kills the demon currently shocking Sam. Sam however looks up and sees Lucifer instead and tells Cas that he’s not real. Cas is just like “Oh Sam…” I’m more like, zzzzzz.
  • To cut a long story short, Cas can’t heal Sam (I’m 100% sure that we knew this already? Or it might have been that he didn’t have the juice to do it back whenever, can’t remember). But…he can maybe shift it. So he does. To himself.

TO. HIMSELF.

  • There are some shitty effects that are like red bolts of electricity on Sam and Cas’ eyes. But well, Lucifer is in his [Cas] head now and, seriously I hope we don’t have Lucifer/Cas scenes. DOESN’T MARK PELLEGRINO HAVE ANYTHING BETTER TO DO WITH HIS LIFE? But yeah, they leave loony!Cas in there.
  • Sam and Dean stroll out of the hospital and…Sam’s all like, “We’re just going to leave him there”. Ah, now I remember why I love him. BUT YES SAM, YOU DAMN WELL ARE. I’d say permanently but the writers of this show are morons and are already bringing him back this season. *YAWN*
The End.
Well there was another scene after but it was Meg and I don’t give a shit.
Thoughts
So Sam’s finally got a hospital scene and it’s in this episode. Minus points for that. What a disappointingly abrupt end to a storyline that should have ended a long time ago. I would have expected it to be resolved over the course of two episodes but no. It seems as though whoever did the research for this episode as well didn’t really do their homework properly. Cas’ inclusion was annoying to be honest. Watching him not remember was made worse by the fact that he did remember so quickly. I really hope that Ghost!Bobby never ever materialises. Screens may be damaged. Meg 2.0  seems to just pop up randomly when she’s not needed.
Jared was pretty awesome in the episode too.  Kudos Jared!
At least Sam’s okay, I guess. I’m spoiler free for the next few episodes, something I should rectify because surprises with this show are NEVER good. NEVER, EVER, EVER.
Unless it’s Sam in hospital attire.

snarkview: 7.12 – Time After Time After Time after we get the fucking point (the episode is about time!)

So. Can I just say this. FOR THE LOVE OF PADALECKI, GIVE HIM SCREEN TIME. AND FOR THE LOVE OF ME, JARED SORT OUT YOUR SIDEBURNS. THEY ARE ALIVE. ALIVE. thank you.

PREVIOULSY: bobby is dead. bobby isn’t a ghost yet. did i mention that bobby was de–oh. And Leviathans are still the BORINGEST bad guys EVER. but hey BORINGEST is apparently not a word.

Now: Sam and Depressed!Dean are in a car. It’s not the impala but idgaf anymore. They’re after something. But somehow Sam decides to ask what the plan is when they’re right there. Was the car ride not LONG enough? Not that he needn’t have bothered. Dean’s reply “Don’t die”. I. AM. Speechless. Sam apparently never really wanted an answer anyway. Oh.

They take different sides and somehow 3 seconds later Dean see’s something in the alley and goes charging at it just as Sam reappears from wherever the fuck he went (it was dark and all I saw where SIDEBURNS, OKAY?). Dean’s all like *GROWL* and he collides into the man with…red…red light surrounding him. I don’t know what kind of effects they were going for. But it didn’t really work out. And whoosh! Dean’s GONE. Sam…tries to look worried. At this point, I’d be less concerned about Dean more concerned about my rapidly increasing sideburns length, but that’s just me. Sam can always avoid mirrors.

[Disgusting title card]

TWO DAYS EARLIER: Uhm. I can’t actually remember. Let me think. No, still blank. But let me show you my favorite scene while I remember! SO MUCH HAIR. FLOWING AND OH GOD. SO GLORIOUS. CLICKY ON THE PICS TO SEE BEAUTIFUL GIFS. Btw, if you don’t appreciate the hair there’s something wrong with you move on.

Ignore the Jensen pic because I post it later on. Still failing at wordpess.

Yeah, so Dean and Sam and somewhere – Dean’s reading about Dick Roman online and Sam’s all, “I hope your watching your cartoon smut and not researching Dick Roman”. Okay, seriously, CARTOON SMUT? Who. Who says that? Dean replies, “It’s called anime, it’s an art form”. You mean to tell me that Sam – who went to college – calls anime cartoon smut? Per-lease. Sheriff Mills calls. “Don’t give me that diaper face – I ain’t the one calling you”. I…think we’re supposed to laugh here.

Ha, ha.

But yes, she calls. I don’t like her. I don’t like how she keeps on popping up because I waste valuable moments of my time trying to remember who the hell she is. She has a case for them or something. I can’t bring myself to care.

The boys play rock paper scissors. Sam wins. Dean quips “How does paper beat rock?”. I facepalm. They do some research and whoever’s writing this episode decides that Dean gets to have more than one brain cell in this episode and he taps into some local camera feeds within 3 seconds or something. FUCK YOU SERA. SAM WAS THE COMPUTER GENIUS. STOP TRYING TO MAKE HIM OBSOLETE. Yes. Dean’s all ::smug:: about it whereas I am just distracted by the sideburns because MY GOD THEY ARE HUGE. I tune back in to hear Sam say…”Or are you strictly into dick now?”.

Speechless.

Sam’s delivery of the line though was flat – as was Dean’s response so this pleases me. I imagine that all the wincest shippers creamed themselves on the spot. This show is for everybody, not just slash fans.

Some other shit happens. And we’re in the scene from the start. The plan is still “don’t die”. So why they felt it necessary to replay the whole fucking clip again instead of having NOW flash up on the screen is a mystery to me. I can’t bring myself to care – sorry. So just scroll up and read all of that again.

We’re catapulted into 1944 and Dean is—-OH OH OH WAIT. Sorry. Back when I said “Some other shit happens” I didn’t talk about the dude who was all like, “I saw a guy in a Justin Timberlake hat”. Justin Timberlake hat. I feel as though that line was supposed to get a laugh out of me.

It didn’t.

So, 1944 and Dean’s arrested. I’m sure this scene was very amusing. I don’t remember much. He’s at the police station and the cop is ridiculing him for having a fake i.d. dated 68 years into the future. Because the writer has decided that Dean is stupid in this scene, he scrunches his face up and starts to count back with…his fingers. I’m sure many people count like that but…well. He looked stupid. Then Eliot Ness comes in and Dean from that point on spends the episode like *_________*. He makes references that I do not understand or remember or care about. He fanboys Elliot Ness to his face and says AWESOME a lot and does some Sean Connery impression or something.

After about five minutes I pray that he shuts the fuck up. Sadly, he doesn’t.


he did look pretty damn hot though. if only this had been a silent movie. Sigh.

So yes. Elliot Ness was a hunter. Who happened to be hunting whatever the fuck Sam and Dean were hunting. The God of Time After Time After Time AKA Jason Dohring because I can’t refer to the dude as simply the God of Time.

Meanwhile, the show hits a new level of boring with Sam/Sheriff Mills. She calls Sam – she’s STILL in a police cruiser, I mean she quite clearly just drives around in that thing for fun because she has no problem with dropping her job (being a sheriff is not important, yo. Don’t you watch TV?!) and getting her ass down to Ohio so she can be in these BORING scenes. They talk about Bobby, sex, pizza, The Kardashians and Sam’s increasingly alarming sideburns and nothing interesting at all.

Back to 1944, and…Dean and Elliot Ness are still after the God of Time. They interview some dude. Jensen looks hot and it’s glorious until he speaks. It’s just a jumble of pop culture references and things I don’t understand. I tune out.

Sam gets sent to sleep by Sheriff Mills in his old pokey room there, and omg it’s glorious. The hair flops everywhere and just omg. Sorry but THIS WAS THE MOST EXCITING MOMENT. HAIR. FLOPPING.

And oh. Somehow Dean has gotten Sam a note from the past through some old, lose brick or something. Still don’t care.

Back in 1944, Elliot Ness and Dean catch up with Jason Dohring. (Sam basically found out that the only way to get Dean back was when he had his hands on Jason Dohring at some specific time and Jason Dohring’s girlfriend from 1944 is alive and tells Sam that it’s 11:34). Yeeeeeeeeah.

So, Sam does all the ritual stuff and here’s the kicker. Cut’s his palm and…uses his blood to write 11:34 on a piece of paper?! LMFAO. Oh, show. So yeah it works and Dean turns up along with Jason Dohring and Sam eventually kills him.

So basically Dean got sent to 1944, hunted with Elliot Ness, got back to 2012 (it should be 2013 but show fails at continuity) and…he doesn’t even get to gank the SOB. Sam who did nothing of importance does because, he’s a MAIN character.

Fuck you, writers.

Oh, it ends with Jason Dohring going all MWAHAHAHA I SEE YOUR FUTURE IT’S FULL OF BLACK OOZE! AND LEVIATHANS. Uhm. We all knew that. Sam and Dean knew that, WHY ARE WE ALL SO SURPRISED?!!!!

Whatever.

This episode is graded D for Boring as fuck.