Shorter snark today because this episode is too lame for me to tell you what happened. If you really want to know, go subject yourself to it. DON’T SAY THAT I DIDN’T WARN YOU.
The episode is called Party On, Garth. And ugh. Just UGH.
1) Garth (DJ Qualls)
Is extremely annoying.
Has his own catchphrase for hunting called “Garthed” or something
Are we really supposed to believe that he’s a hunter? I mean. Seriously. Because I just can’t. I don’t care if he’s quirky. WHAT WAS THE JUSTIFICATION OF THIS NONSENSE? And breathe.
Is not funny
Had far too much screen time
He’s REALLY not funny
Made me want to shoot myself
Had a talking sock puppet called “Mr Fizzles” THAT MADE ME WANT TO SHOOT MYSELF REPEATEDLY.
REALLY, REALLY ISN’T FUNNY AT ALL
Needs to be “Garthed” as soon as possible. I volunteer. I VOLUNTEER!
And, because of these attributes I know that he will probably be back at some point. Maybe they can kill him next time. They better fucking kill him and make sure that he doesn’t come back afterwards.
2. You had to be drunk to see this week’s monster. Enter some 7 year old girl taking a sip of one of her parent’s drinks and WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH, GURL BE DRUNK AND CAN SEE SAID MONSTER. Show, you’re a moron.
3. Sam used a talking board to see if Bobby was still around? And, uh. With his scrambled brain and all he was able to tell. That makes perfect sense. No, really.
4. BOBBY RETURNS! Everyone was gushing about how it was so awesome that everyone kept this a SECRET! And how it was a big SURPRISE!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? If you were surprised then you’re an idiot. Supernatural and subtlety have never been acquaintances. But yeah, spirit!Bobby is still hanging around for some reason. I didn’t care the first time he left, and I won’t care when he eventually fucks off for real.
To conclude, fuck this show.
I’ll see y’all on April 21st, when maybe I’ll feel up to actually writing a full on snarkfest. Thank fuck for heavenatus.
Previously: Bobby got shot in the head and didn’t die instantly
Bobby’s in hospital and we’re stuck in this head while Sam and Dean mope around outside his hospital room doing nothing of any importance.
Oh, Dean yells at some guy and punches glass. He also confronts Dick Roman (the head Leviathan guy) and tells him that he’s coming for him.
He makes some remark about him watching himself online and the camera cuts to these two old dudes filming the whole ordeal.
Questions: Why would Dick Roman just cruise up to a hospital. Why didn’t they those old dudes sell their videos to the 9’o’clock news. Why don’t I give a shit about them trying to make Dean sound all badass. I was expecting UGLY CRYING. Or well. The one perfect single tear. Missed opportunity, folks.
Sam jabs at a cut on his palm that he got 10 episodes ago. That’s all Sam does. Oh no wait – he holds Bobby’s hand too. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
So, last night’s episode was about Bobby (who 75% of the fandom no longer give a shit about). And, like I said in my preview there was lot of Bobby. BECAUSE HE’S SUDDENLY A MAIN CHARACTER FOR THIS EPISODE.
Okay, Sera Gamble. I’m going to use wikipedia to describe to you what the hell a supporting character is supposed to be.
This does not mean that the supporting character out of nowhere declares that he’s adopted the main characters. The fact that Bobby used such a legal term was ironic seeing as how he’s a merchant of illegality. And I don’t care if he was being metaphorical, the energy it took to roll my eyes could have used on something else. Like drooling at Sam.
” Sometimes supporting characters may develop a complexity of their own, but this is usually in relation to the main character, rather than entirely independently.”
AND, YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE THIS. WE KNOW HE KILLED HIS FUCKING WIFE. BUT, NO. IF A CHARACTER DOESN’T HAVE DADDY ISSUES THEN YOU’RE SURE AS HELL GOING TO GIVE THEM SOME. LET’S NOT BOTHER WITH THE FACT THAT HALF OF YOUR AUDIENCE WATCH THIS SHOW FOR THE MAIN CHARACTERS.
So yeah. We were treated to Bobby’s daddy issues. His father was an abusive, drunk asshole who got pissed over spilt milk every day or something until one day eight year old Bobby shot him in the head. Current!Bobby was all like, “Don’t worry she won’t say thank you” to Eight Year Old!Bobby afterwards (this was all happening in his head or something).
Okay, so your kid’s just shot your fucking husband in the head. I think “What did you do?” (or whatever she said) is a fucking reasonable question so shut the fuck up Current!Bobby!
I think there was a scene with Bobby and Dean playing baseball. It was cute but I was really more interested in the fact that Rufus (who was in this for some reason) was rocking a bomber jacket and an earring. Why they didn’t give him his very own “Acceptable in the 80s” montage is a mystery to me. Missed opportunity, folks. Again.
His wife was in this. She did some shrieking and soap opera crying about something and then cut her foot on broken glass. YEAH, WHO GIVES A SHIT? Not me. Or anyone with good taste.
Some badass reaper has been running around after Bobby in this episode. SO, YEAH. RIP OFF OF IN MY TIME OF DYING. Assholes. He says some shit about how Bobby’s going to die. Over and over and over and…it’s like they’re mocking me. DIE ALREADY!
Eventually, he dies. But not before he wakes up and is all *twitches, twitches, twi-* and somehow because Dean speaks Bobby twitch he’s all “GET A PEN!” and then Bobby writes some coordinates or something on Sam’s hand (such a pretty hand can we just focus on that for the rest of the episode? Please? No? Fuck you then). Then he says it…
That’s his last word to them (HIS ADOPTIVE IDJITS) and…I suppose if I hadn’t been bored out of my skull, and I actually gave a crap about Bobby, I’d be kinda—no, no, I really wouldn’t. You know why? Because I look at the time and see that there’s NINE MINUTES LEFT TO GO (which means one huge ass commercial break and then 2 minutes in which they completely fuck it all up)
There’s some scene where Sam and Dean are arguing over liquorice and popcorn. It’s cute but completely contrived because it looks post season 6 to me. Dean should drinking hard liquor while Sam sits in a corner poking at his palm.
Then the reaper is all like, do you want to come with me or stay here forever alone~
….and then it ends. And they do that whole preview of the next two episodes with all they can afford in regards to the music budget playing over it and I’m wondering who’s fucking idea this was. If I didn’t care about the cliffhanger from the last episode why the fuck would I care about this one?
It’s like they’re saying: “Here’s an ending that won’t interest you in the slightest, you may as well stop watching now”. Sadly enough, I am not that smart. And I like to piss of people who can’t handle a bit of bashing. So…whenever the next episode is I’ll be here bitching away about a show that used be good but sucks now.
I’ll leave you with the reason why anybody with sense is still watching this show.