A day in the life of….supernatural snark

I was going to write a completely nonsensical and probably irrelevant step by step of how I recap. Mostly because I need to critique myself and figure out how to make them shorter (and I didn’t want to use this time to actually watch an episode). However,  I couldn’t be bothered. So I spent twice as much time as I would have writing that making a comic strip version of my watch/recap process.

disappointed___gif__by_themischiefmonster-d7ej23k

I am currently questioning my life choices.

Anyway, click ‘read the rest of this post/continue/read more/whatever the hell it says’ to see the comic strip 😛 Continue reading “A day in the life of….supernatural snark”

Eat less, exercise more. Exercise more, fall on the floor.

Yes, when I’m not bitching about SPN or calling people out for being stupid and senseless OR quietly appreciating Tom Hardy for his looks and not pretending that he’s God’s gift to earth, I am a real person who does real people things.

GuiltyGIF Continue reading “Eat less, exercise more. Exercise more, fall on the floor.”

Did anyone ever watch Don’t Trust The B**** In Apartment 23?

New layout, snarklings! I will probably get bored of it in three days.

Continue reading “Did anyone ever watch Don’t Trust The B**** In Apartment 23?”

snarkview: 10×06, the bullshit meter is full

s-v

Well. I haven’t seen the show since November so all I remember is that Dean was a demon and then he wasn’t. Dean also had a prospective murderer named Cole. Dean was still dealing with the effects of the Mark of Disdain. Dean broke up with Crowley.

And I’m guessing that the main complaint before next season starts will be that Dean never has a storyline.

This will probably be all over the place. Like always. It’s what the show deserves.
Continue reading “snarkview: 10×06, the bullshit meter is full”

stupid and senseless: the ‘no shit, Sherlock!’ edition

I’ve posted about Jared’s website before (I think it’s the previous post lol). One thing I didn’t see are the excessive adverts all over the page (my phone spared me somehow!). I did take another look and, I read the articles, had a browse through the posts. It was very obvious that whoever set up the site intended to make money from it. I couldn’t work out if the articles on there were copied or not but there are a lot of freelance writers who are hired to write content for other people. It was kind of obvious that Jared’s only involvement was attaching his name and likeness to it. Now, I don’t know if he was adding the little notes to the Facebook posts or if that was someone else – but he easily could have been doing so.
Continue reading “stupid and senseless: the ‘no shit, Sherlock!’ edition”

This Means War (2012)

I watched this movie again recently and I was kind of bemused at how terrible it is. It should probably be called This Means Catfish. Or This Is Creepy. I don’t know. I only watched it for Tom Hardy because this is the one movie where he’s not bulked up to the high heavens and speaking in an awful accent (I’ve gotta keep it real with you, Tom).

Continue reading “This Means War (2012)”

snarkview: 9×23, dean winchester wants you to hear him roar-oh oh oh oh oh oh

finsnark2

 

Finally!!! I will start off with the recap of the season (based on what I remember, which is not a lot). In the premiere, Sam was in a trial-induced coma, and sadly, Dean brokered a deal that unleashed the horror of Jared Padalecki as Gadreel as Ezekiel on us. Dean acted like a dog for an episode. Kevin died and Dean was sad about it. Sam finds out that he’s been possessed by an angel while Dean remains sad. They get into the annual midseason fight. Kevin’s mom gets her revenge and Ghost!Kevin tries and fails to be the voice of reason re: the annual fight. At some point Dean takes on the Mark of Cain so he can seek revenge on…everyone, or something. Dean starts to lose the plot. There as an abysmal spinoff attempt. Dean continues to lose the plot. And then his batshit-o-meter reaches 100% and he declares that he’s a dictator and loses his damn mind.

Continue reading “snarkview: 9×23, dean winchester wants you to hear him roar-oh oh oh oh oh oh”

The latest edition of “stupid and senseless”

I’m just going to use Jared’s words and refer to everything dumb that he does as Stupid and Senseless. 

Because his last airline rant wasn’t enough, he decided to throw yet another hissy fit and call a US airlines employee a jerk, and an “a-hole” before tweeting a picture of the guy.

Continue reading “The latest edition of “stupid and senseless””

march madness, indeed.

Snooki was on Supernatural everyone!! Yay! She joins an elite range of guest stars that include Paris Hilton and Mitch Pileggi’s Eyebrows. Someone get her a cookie! AND SOMEONE GET JENSEN A RUBBER DUMMY TO MAKE UP FOR THAT EMMY THAT HE’S NEVER GOING TO GET. Jared will make do with a piece of plastic carved into the shape of a rectangle.

Jared’s also up to his usual shit on Twitter*. CAN SOMEONE JUST PUNCH HIM EVERY TIME HE OPENS UP THE TWITTER APP? RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS MASSIVE FIVETIMESFOURHEAD.

(*ONTD link is no longer working so here are the tweets in question. JUST IGNORE MITCH PILEGGI AND HIS EYEBROWS – 21/05/15)

Please. He always has something negative to say about everything. The only time he has positive things to say is when it’s directly related to Supernatural, which is a fucking joke in itself. It is so tiring. I vote that we send him into the wilderness and leave him there until he learns how to function like a normal person (and gets a hair cut).

Anyway, the real madness happened with Ty Olsson, who decided to turn up at a convention drunk (and not for  the first time, apparently). Not only was he drunk, he was being so inappropriate that they actually booted him from the con. A simple ‘I’m sorry for screwing up’ probably would have sufficed by way of an apology but Ty went one better and produced a response on his website (which seriously looks like it took about ten minutes to produce).

In it, he accuses fans of roofie-ing him, while stressing that he’s not accusing anyone of anything (EXCEPT SLIPPING GHB INTO HIS DRINK!). He starts off by saying ‘for the first time I’m experiencing a true dose of “celebrity status “, which means coming to grips that when you make mistakes …people ARE watching

Alright buddy calm down. SPN does not spell NSA.

also…Celebrity status? Is that what you call it when a bunch of overeager fans fill an actor’s head with nonsense?

And then he makes the fatal mistake of claiming that he isn’t playing a role at conventions. “the hardest thing I have ever tried to do is tone down ” me”. silly, goofy , loud, bossy , intense, loving , caring , passionate …crazy me. Why would I try to “tone it down?” …..cause remember …they’re watching …. And not many see the world as I do, we all see the world differently. For me, fans are just friends that I don’t know yet …and conventions aren’t me playing a role, it’s me being me; doing my best to entertain at a big party, with a bunch of friends. And that … For obvious reasons ….doesn’t work. It’s not even my party. It’s your’s – THE FANS.”

I think the hardest thing he’s done here is convince himself that any of this paragraph makes sense

Despite saying that he tones himself down (but doesn’t play a role!), he then goes on to say that he wasn’t himself at the convention. “I deeply regret having taken away from anyone’s experience. I can only hope that those who know me or have spent some time with me know that this would never be my intention. I also hope that those same people recognize that that wasn’t fully “me”.”

So…he has to tone himself down, while not playing a role but at this particular convention he wasn’t himself. Okay.

HE CAN EXPLAIN! ‘Let me explain: The day I was in the Vancouver airport prior to boarding for Vegas I replied to a tweet from a follower suggesting Jim Michaels and I hang out together and keep each other from getting “roofied”. I jokingly tweeted back “I eat roofies like candy! why you think I’m so chill? ‘

He “jokingly” tweeted that back? Uh-huh. Roofies are hilarious, guys.

“Sadly, I’m convinced someone took me up on that challenge of “eating roofies like candy”. The shots on stage were ice tea. (sorry Rich) , and so was the one my handler brought me. So removing those from the equation I had swigs off 3 fan’s flasks prior to my panel and the drink from a fan’s vodka bottle during my panel. That’s it. This amount would never have made me that intoxicated. During the next 6-7 hours of photo ops and autograph signing I had next to nothing, yet I still felt very messed up. I’ve had more to drink during a single hour panel and still skipped thru the rest of my day like I’d just had my first coffee of the morning . I regret that my own embarrassment over my actions from the night before, not being allowed to show up on the Saturday for my signings and panel, kept me from really asking “how did this happen?” until later in the day Saturday. When I finally realized things didn’t add up, I had urine tests arranged as soon as I could upon returning home. Unfortunately one of the more common substances used for this kinda thing, GHB, only stays in the body for 12-24 hrs.”

…..so, you drank from other’s people’s flasks. That’s your own problem, dude. And also kind of gross. He then conveniently only realises that  things don’t add up after the cut  off point for GHB showing up on a test. That’s not suspicious at all.

I am awaiting results for other possible substances. I want to be clear this is not an excuse or reasoning for my behavior. The mistake was mine when I began to treat a convention meant for a 1000 people like my own personal party. Nor am I saying a fan spiked my drink …I don’t know how it happened. I just KNOW that it did. I also know my own stupidity is at fault. No one should be leaving drinks unattended or accepting food or drink from anyone you don’t absolutely trust. No one…. Particularly in Vegas after cracking an “I eat roofies like candy” joke.”

So…he’s not saying that a fan spiked his drink. But then he pretty much goes onto to say exactly that two sentences later. I love how the lesson he’s learnt is not to accept food/drink after cracking a roofies joke as opposed to….NOT CRACKING ONE AT ALL.

He then goes on to say “Regardless if you believe me or not please know that this is a very real, frightening thing that people do. To the huge population of women in this fandom, to my teenage daughters, please please be careful.”….like he wasn’t the one making people feel uncomfortable in the first  place.

There’s some shit about people believing other versions of events but like, how does he go from this “for the first time I’m experiencing a true dose of “celebrity status “, which means coming to grips that when you make mistakes …people ARE watching” to his “drink” being spiked. I’m not saying that it wasn’t just that, it’s a ridiculous claim to make when he was three sheets to the wind anyway.

A simple “sorry for behaving like a sleazy drunk” would have been a lot more sincere than this crap. But once a douchebag, always a douchebag.

~

There’ll be a recap either next week or the week after that. Or the week after that. One of those weeks.