5 More Unique Gifts…

… for the ones you love, hate or love to hate!

[I wrote this a while ago but NGL, Japan Trend Shop is still my favorite website of all time.]

1. Pen Breath Odor Checker

Thanko’s Pen Breath Odor Checker is as compact and discreet as it the name suggests. It looks like a regular black ball pen, but the nifty device is actually a quick way to check if your breath smells before that important meeting with a client. Easy to use, you just breathe onto the device for five seconds while it beeps and then check the reading it gives you. Your breath odor is measured and “rated” according to five levels. And you can also write with it!

Discreet? LOL. How does one breath on a pen in a discreet fashion…? Also, post-COVID this is a no-go. It’s cheaper to just… buy breath mints, or if you want to go for a full 90s era bit, breath spray.

Continue reading “5 More Unique Gifts…”

5 Gifts That Will Spice Up Your Lockdown

FIVE GIFTS

…or your new normal, whatever stage you’re at!

All items are from Japan Trend Shop.


Item: Cookiray Anti-odor Pendant Lamp

The award-winning Cookiray Anti-odor Pendant Lamp keeps your kitchen or dining room illuminated while also massively cutting down those unpleasant odors that may spoil a meal. This is the perfect light fitting for those times when you want to have grilled food or anything that you cook right there on the table. Oil, fat and smoke do not add up to a nice eating experience, so the Cookiray BE will absorb them into its filters so you can concentrate on the more important task of eating what you have cooked.

Cost: US$ 1,091

Comments: It would probably cheaper and more efficient to just…crack open a window? Although, it being a lamp is handy! Continue reading “5 Gifts That Will Spice Up Your Lockdown”

5 More Unique Gift Ideas

Tokyo City


Cardboard Darth Vader Costume

CARDBOARD?!

What happens if it rains? Does the wearer magically transform into sweaty Anakin Skywalker?? I need answers. Or visuals.

Ahem.

Continue reading “5 More Unique Gift Ideas”

5 Awesome Gift Ideas!

Happy New Year (give or take three months), snarklings! I think is is my first (or second) post of the year. 
We all want to toss out the old (baggage, friends, body fat) and introduce the new (friends, baggage to be thrown away next year, body fat that will be gained over the year) and these wacky products from my favourite website of ALL TIME. 

1. Handheld Body Smell Checker
Odor intensity measuring device

Actually this is a pretty good one. Well. Maybe not as a gift. Unless it’s for someone that you hate but somehow need to buy a gift for them? Stranger things have happened.

Never be caught out again by unpleasant odors with the Tanita Handheld Body Smell Checker, a convenient way to keep a close tab on your personal hygiene. Simply extend the sensor arm and hold the device close to your body in an area of choice and get a reading that measures your odor on a 11-stage scale. The process only takes around ten seconds, during which time Tanita’s ES-100 device analyzes for smell-producing particulate matter. Since it is reading the intensity of smells, you can check not only for bad odors but also perfume or aftershave that is too strong

2. Shell Drink Bottle Case
Seashell design

We might need to take this one for a spin in the Delorean so that Castaway era Tom Hanks can quench his thirst in style. 

Carry your drink around with a touch of primitive island lifestyle chic! The visually unique and surprisingly practical Giant Triton Shell Drink Bottle Case is inspired by the titular marine mollusc famous for its massive shell. The cute case has an aluminum coating that insulates the inside, while the softly textured exterior also features a red cord and carabiner that allows you to attach the shell to your belt or bag like a conch for blowing.

3. Talking Animal Ears Tissue Dispenser

…why cry with a regular tissue box dispenser when you can cry in STYLE?

Make reaching for a Kleenex a wholly different kind of experience with this Talking Animal Ears Tissue Dispenser. Takara Tomy Arts has designed this unique item for the popular household brand of Nepia Hana Celeb moisturizing facial tissues (available as an optional extra), which famously feature cute animal faces on the boxes. When you take a tissue, your newly transformed “animal tissue box” will talk to you in Japanese. There are two versions: a rabbit or least weasel, each with different voices and dialogue. The rabbit will comfort you with soothing phrases, while the weasel is more energetic and perks you up.

4. Tissue Box Japanese Police Car
Remote control patrol vehicle toy

AGAIN WITH THE TISSUES?? Am I the only one who just uses the box that they come in? Do I need to manage my time better so that I can take my tissue dispenser game the next level? I need answers? Where’s is Jaaaaa?

There’s an emergency! Call the cops! And they will come whizzing over with Kleenex to rescue the situation. That is, if you have the RC Tissue Box Japanese Police Car. Yet another unique remote control vehicle by Kyosho, the design of the box exterior resembles Japanese police patrol cars. Just take up the controller and start driving your tissue box cop car around the house. Car chases will never be the same again!

5. Sushi Roll Towel Gift Set

Does anyone love sushi THIS much? Just get me a regular towel and go.

The three towels in the Norimaki Sushi Roll Towel Gift Set come in a dry bamboo leaf-style wrapping traditionally used for serving sushi. At first glance, the three “sushi towels” look like norimaki (sushi roll with seaweed), complete with the colorful filling for natto-maki, kappa-maki and tekka-maki rolls. But despite the “bento” lunchbox packaging, these are actually three small towels that would make a great present for someone with a culinary bent.

I’m too lazy to link them, but these items can all be purchased from Japan Trend Shop.

5 More Awesome Gift Ideas

Greetings, y’all. 

Have you met people that you now hate enough to spend large amounts of cash on stupid gifts they will never have any use for?

If the answer is yes, re-evaluate your life. 

If the answer is no, come this way. Let’s wrap. Or unwrap. Whatever. 

1. Samurai Pet Armor for Cats and Dogs

Small pet clothes
Price: US$ 223

Perhaps nothing says Japan quite like the Samurai Pet Armor for Cats and Dogs, which brings together Japan’s history and its love for small domestic animals. Unlike real armor, this is lightweight so your feline or canine friend won’t get (too) annoyed and will be happy to pose for unique photos. And when it’s not in use, you could hang the armor costume up as an item of wall decoration or even wrapped around a drink bottle. Available in four colors and three sizes.

I don’t know if this is really cool or really terrible, so… I’ll let y’all be the judge. 
Continue reading “5 More Awesome Gift Ideas”

Bad Products, cont. 

Just in time for… whatever major holiday is coming next? 

Anyway, let’s dive in. 

1. Asahi Clear Latte Coffee-Flavored Water (Pack of 12)
Espresso extract and milk taste
Price: US$ 21

I don’t have a copy of the description but clear flavoured water that tastes like coffee? No. No. No and no. Nope. I can just make a mug of coffee and then refill my cup with water and voila. Coffee water. Why would anyone even want to drink coffee flavoured water anyway?! I reject this water on…coffee grounds (pun intended). Continue reading “Bad Products, cont. “

Valentine’s Days gifts that you SHOULD have bought!

I’m on something of a hiatus at the moment, but I figured that I’d swing by and give you some love. By the way, if you went to see Fifty Shades Freed in honour of Valentine’s Day non-ironically, there’s something wrong with you. 
What you should have done instead is bought one of these….

The Brassiere Eye Mask

This is literally some shit out of Fifty Shades of Fuck No. 

Poking fun at Japan’s rather unfair reputation for harboring too many men with strange fetishes, the Brassiere Eye Mask is an amusing way to catch some shut-eye. We’ve all heard those tales of used panties and underwear thieves. Sure, there are a few out there, but the media would have us think that the whole nation was engaged in these, ahem, hobbies. The truth is rather more mundane. Fortunately for fans of the bizarre, Village Vanguard is here with a hilarious eye mask (available in three colors) in the shape of a miniature bra that sits snugly over your face. When you say you got it from Japan, all your coworkers and friends’ questions will be answered!

Oh dear.

The next item is even more bizarre. 

Toilet Noise Blocker Flushing Sound Gadget

It is one of the peculiarities of the Japanese (mostly women, but also men): they’re very self-conscious when it comes to the noises they make when they are on the toilet. Many Westerners are too, of course, but not to the extent that they create a device that makes the sound of flushing water to cover the sound their bodies make. Yes, the On Serebu Toilet Noise Blocker is one such gadget!

Mate, I don’t give a crap what people are doing in the toilet. I think the constant sound of flushing water would drive me berserk, though. WEIRD. 

The next item is for those of you have crazy cat lovers in your life. 

Cat Tail Jeans

The Cat Tail Jeans is your new way to have fun with your pet. Created by cat-themed brand fashion Felissimo and Rinrin Yamano, a manga artist whose cute illustrations have appeared on many Felissimo products, the jeans are especially thick so kittens and cats can latch onto your legs with their claws without causing physical pain to the wearer. And your cat will love trying to get at the mini tail that you attach to the jeans so it swings as you move, attracting their attention. There are also long, pleated pockets that your feline friend will enjoy trying to climb up. The jeans are available in six sizes.

You know what, let us move on because I have nothing to say. 

Exposed Butt T-shirt

This is a shirt for women, right? I’m going to pretend that this is for your average hen do or bachelorette party…No?

Give yourself the, ahem, butt of your dreams, whether you are a guy or a girl, with this Mousou Exposed Butt T-Shirt. On the front of the white shirt sits a cute female rear in panties, exposed to the whole world for all to see… on your chest. This hilarious parody clothing will be a big hit at parties, when walking down the street, or whenever you really want to surprise your coworkers.

…surprise your co-workers? Where does this potential stupid shirt owner work? Frats’R’Us?

Onto our last product which has to be the second most bizarre…

Toenail Art Polish Stockings

In Japan Toenail Art Polish Stockings are taking over in the same way that “tattoo leggings” did a few years ago! Led by retailers like Belle Maison, girls around Tokyo are leaving their nail polish in the drawer and instead slipping on these “fake toe nail” stockings that create even more striking effects on their feet than regular cosmetics! Here you can choose between six types of “pre-painted” stockings: Paint, Line Candy, Tile Flower, Mermaid, Flamingo, or Sunny Shower. There are also two sizes. And since the stocking have separate toes they are more comfortable to wear and better for your feet.

…..

Stockings with separate toes?? With nail art. Put enough liquor in me and I could possibly get to the stage where I have to enter my PayPal details. Hopefully, I would have sobered up by the point. 

Anyway, yes. Feel free to splurge. 

Happy Belated Valentine’s Day!

Bad Products, cont.

Once again, I have ventured onto my favourite website. Once again, I’m shocked, amazed and slightly grossed out.

1. Upskirt Umbrella.

Yes. You read that correctly.

We’re not going to pretend this is a mainstream trend in Japan but even the puritans among us have to admit: it’s a fun idea. The Upskirt Umbrella (or An-burera, a play on the words for “underpants” and “umbrella”) by Million Girls Project might be the most original umbrella you ever buy. Please just be careful not to get arrested when using it, though! The Upskirt Umbrella is a very tongue-in-cheek spin on Japan’s reputation for turning schoolgirls into sex objects. Well, it might not improve that image but it certainly makes for a novel way to keep the rain off your head!

Oh, yeah, it’s tongue in cheek and not at all creepy. What normal person would even buy this? I can’t even remember the price but anyone who does should probably be on a watch list somewhere.

2. Lap Pillow Mini Skirt

I don’t even have anything snarky to add here. Just read the text that they have added themselves.

This new version of the now legendary Hizamakura Lap Pillow will no doubt do nothing for Japan’s “wacky” reputation in some corners, but we still reckon it’s an awesome and fun way to get some shut-eye anyway. If you want that maternal feeling of resting your weary head on the legs of a woman, then prop yourself on the Hizamakura.

Resembling the “lap” of a woman, complete with red skirt, this takes you right back to that blissful period of nurture, when someone was watching over your every move. The legs this time are foam, thus making for a more comfortable experience. A great gift for guys, for bachelor parties and more.

This time they’re foam? What the heck were they before? I’m scared to find out so I’m going to move on here.

3. Vegetabrella Lettuce Umbrella

WHY. This is umbrella abomination of the highest order and I am personally offended that they chose lettuce. After two days lettuce ends up soggy. That’s not what I’m looking for in an umbrella. At all. Ever.


4. Pancake Playing Cards

I don’t hate these as much as I should.

Now I want pancakes. Time for me to click off this site. Not that I’d buy anything. Everything is extremely expensive in the sense that it’s not free.

5 wonderful christmas gifts…

…for idiots (because they’re people too)!

1. Novelty MAGA brick.

For the Trump supporter that you happen to know (and maybe secretly detest!). This novelty foam brick will be perfect. It can be interpreted in many ways. They can throw it at ‘MSM/libtards’ or it can be thrown at them and maybe knock some sense into their heads? 

Wishful thinking. 

2. Custom Gold Business Card 

For someone who wants to go that extra (douche) mile. Why be incompetent on simple card when you can be incompetent in gold. 

This little light of mine…

3. Memory Enhancing Chewing Gum

….For those of you who happen to know any government officials in the UK/US because these so called world leaders appear to have lost their damn minds. 

This is also handy for those who voted these people in. When everything is a huge mess (more so than it is already) they will try to rewrite history. Hold your close (or not to close) ones accountable today with this memory enhancing chewing gum!

4. Chicken Leg Pants

For the fashion conscious. Have some more angles:

I feel like this would be part of a really good (or bad) Oompa Loompa clothing range. 

5. Hello Kitty Diving Dry Suit

… this one doesn’t require any explanation does it? 

Honourable mentions:

– Fluffy Kitten Underwear

…For the rabid cat enthusiasts in your life.

Last but not least… 

– Leftover Bath Water

What the…

A mineral water themed after dirty bathwater???

Excuse me?!

I have no words for this. Apparently they’re poking fun at someone but I don’t know who nor do I really want to know who. 

Merry Christmas, y’all. 

Stay away from this weird shit. 

Enjoy your day, snarklings!


Everything on this list bar #1 is from © Japan Trend Shop