5 wonderful christmas gifts…

…for idiots (because they’re people too)!

1. Novelty MAGA brick.

For the Trump supporter that you happen to know (and maybe secretly detest!). This novelty foam brick will be perfect. It can be interpreted in many ways. They can throw it at ‘MSM/libtards’ or it can be thrown at them and maybe knock some sense into their heads? 

Wishful thinking. 

2. Custom Gold Business Card 

For someone who wants to go that extra (douche) mile. Why be incompetent on simple card when you can be incompetent in gold. 

This little light of mine…

3. Memory Enhancing Chewing Gum

….For those of you who happen to know any government officials in the UK/US because these so called world leaders appear to have lost their damn minds. 

This is also handy for those who voted these people in. When everything is a huge mess (more so than it is already) they will try to rewrite history. Hold your close (or not to close) ones accountable today with this memory enhancing chewing gum!

4. Chicken Leg Pants

For the fashion conscious. Have some more angles:

I feel like this would be part of a really good (or bad) Oompa Loompa clothing range. 

5. Hello Kitty Diving Dry Suit

… this one doesn’t require any explanation does it? 

Honourable mentions:

– Fluffy Kitten Underwear

…For the rabid cat enthusiasts in your life.

Last but not least… 

– Leftover Bath Water

What the…

A mineral water themed after dirty bathwater???

Excuse me?!

I have no words for this. Apparently they’re poking fun at someone but I don’t know who nor do I really want to know who. 

Merry Christmas, y’all. 

Stay away from this weird shit. 

Enjoy your day, snarklings!


Everything on this list bar #1 is from © Japan Trend Shop

snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘Widow On The Hill’

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Widow On The Hill | Lifetime (2005)

A sexy young hospice nurse (Natasha Henstridge), is hired by a wealthy man (James Brolin) to care for his sick wife who eventually dies. When the nurse becomes the widower’s new bride and then he dies suspiciously leaving his vast fortune to the new Mrs., his daughter becomes convinced that her gold-digging stepmother is up to no good and could be a murderess.


I think I might just spend the rest of my life snarking about Lifetime movies. They are the gift that keep on giving. I came across this by accident. Someone was so outraged by it that I had to just check it out, lol.

The movie starts with an interview of a woman called Linda. She’s been charged with the murder of her husband and – despite the presence of her lawyer – has agreed to do this interview. Sounds legit.

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We cut back to some point before she became rich and got a tiny dog (it’s always a tiny dog) and she tells us that five years ago she was on her 3rd husband. Oh dear. I can tell that this is going to be good. Anyway, hubs number three leaves her and she finds herself staring at this house on a hill. She puts herself through nursing school and shows up to care for wife of the man who owns said house. CONVENIENT. The daughter Jenny is home from school, ’cause the movie needs a main character that’s young enough to remain alive. The daughter is immediately suspicious of the nurse, because she’s young and hot and y’know, not dying.

Continue reading “snarkview: Lifetime’s ‘Widow On The Hill’”

When the going gets tough…

…pimp out McDonald’s on Twitter?

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Well. Let’s hope that Netflix pays him well for his [insert number] minute cameo on the GG revival.


I’m still on hiatus or whatever but I need to put this here so that I can come back and laugh at it later. In the meantime, I’m gonna go and pose with a cheeseburger and see if anybody wants to help me with my student loans.

 

Has anyone seen Jared’s website?

There’s a link to the website on a couple of his Facebook posts. At first, I didn’t really bother to look at it because I think he was linking from the site to FB anyway. Also I’m not a fan or friend of his page so I don’t really come into contact with it past people showing me things. Someone told me that it was basically him posting random shit and self-promotion, so I went and looked at it and the second hand embarrassment was strong. If he’s paying someone to put this crap up on his behalf I don’t know who I pity the most – him or them. He’s basically created a fan site for HIMSELF, with some random shit like ’13 puppy dog faces’ (it was something like that, lol) thrown in. All he needs is some reposts of someecards pictures and he’ll basically have himself a nice Pinterest profile (no shade, I kind of like Pinterest).
Continue reading “Has anyone seen Jared’s website?”

This is hilarious.

This guy on reddit has been posting about how he hired a hitman on himself and decided to toy with him [the hitman]. I have no idea if it’s true but it’s all kinds of hilarious:

So I’m in some random starbucks in the middle of downtown Las Vegas typing this out for reasons that are beyond me. I guess that if I die I want at least someone to know what happened to me. You’re probably getting the impression that I am scared for my life, but you would be completely wrong. In fact I’m having the most fun I’ve ever had; this is by far the best game I’ve ever played. Now enough of my babbling, let me indulge you on why I hired a hitman on myself. 


There are five parts (at my last count) – if you click on his name (murdering_time) and go to the submitted tab you can find the links to parts 2-5.