Empire 2×06: ‘Dollars in the bank’

 

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Okay, for some reason episode 6 opens with Becky and her boy having alone time. Her boy happens to be the HILARIOUS drug dealer from Murder In The First. Good for her, I guess.

Rainbow Abomination are practising when Cookie gets word that Hakeem has been kidnapped. She doesn’t think its real. HONEY, IT’S REAL.

Jamal is singing another depressing song. I still don’t like it. The song also sounds like something I’ve heard before. Oh, well. This scene is too long. Jamal is sad that Michael cheated. Oh. Well. Thankfully Cookie bursts in and shows Lucious the video and they all realise that Hakeem has actually been kidnapped.

…by people with Longhorn tattoos. Hakeem calls them a bunch of cowboys and gets his ass whooped. Lucious is convinced that they will get him back soon because they’re only asking for $40K. They ask for proof of life and get it.

WILLIAM FICHTNER IS IN THIS EPISODE. I love him. Continue reading “Empire 2×06: ‘Dollars in the bank’”

Empire 2×03: ‘Mirage a Trois’

We open with the federal prosecutor giving a statement outside court. Apparently Lucious is a dangerous sociopath who shouldn’t be allowed in public. Oh, and she wants to be attorney general. #GOALS You would think that she would pick an easier target than someone that she herself admits is her sociopath – and someone who is overwhelmingly popular, but okay. I’mma let her finish.

Lucious is ready to reclaim his Empire. He makes some grand statement that I didn’t hear but I’m sure it’s the same as the last two and the same as the next three.

Over at Chateau Hakeem, his new girl, Valentina, is looking for her pants even though he has to be on Sway in the Morning. Cookie basically drags his ass out of there. Lil Hakeem’s Sway performance is actually kinda good. Apart from the random shirt grab – bruh this isn’t your music video. Lil H wants to call his group Mirage a Trois…

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Continue reading “Empire 2×03: ‘Mirage a Trois’”

Empire 2×01: ‘You done now, lady!’

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I’m not sure if it’s my computer but the recap proceeds at 2x the speed in certain parts, almost as if the writers don’t really want us to remember the…finer details.

Anyway, last season – lots of shit happened, but Cookie testified against someone and then Lucious ended up in jail. *dramatic music*


We open with a #FreeLucious concert. And then, Cookie emerges from a gorilla suit. That is, a gorilla suit…while trapped in a cage. She starts to talking about how the prison system is flawed and basically biased against young black men. The words all sound right and I agree but…she literally just emerged from a gorilla suit in a cage. I don’t think that went down very well when it aired, lol. It was a tad unnecessary.

Al Sharpton pops up. I won’t comment. Don Lemon pops up. Sigh.

Jamal sings at the concert, Lil Hakeem sort of raps. Cookie is doing some schmoozing and Andre looks…important. Meanwhile, Lucious does some light exercise in prison. Chris Rock is playing someone called Frank Gathers. He’s also in prison. Oooh. Continue reading “Empire 2×01: ‘You done now, lady!’”