Tag: brexit

they couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery


… otherwise known as the UK’s Brexit position.

[see here for a definition of the title if you need one]

From this article we have:

As the third round of discussions closes on Thursday, the British team are increasingly certain that the hands of EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier are tied by the rigidly worded mandate handed to him by the EU27 member states.

In what universe are his hands tied? His job is to negotiate, not to blindly say, well, there’s twenty seven countries versus the UK, so let me do you a favour!

British officials believe that the mandate given to Mr Barnier has prevented him having sufficient space to negotiate progress, in particular robbing him of the ability to move on to future trade relations, before separation issues like the divorce bill, citizens’ rights, and the Northern Ireland border are addressed

Once again, that’s how negotiations work. Future trade relations don’t benefit the EU, they would benefit the UK. The EU’s interest is…the EU. I’m not sure why the UK refuse to understand that no one is interested in making it easy for them.

A source familiar with the UK’s negotiating position said: “There is some concern about what the UK says is an inflexibility to the Commission’s approach, that it’s difficult to negotiate with people who have perhaps not been given the flexibility to negotiate.”

This is all funny considering that Theresa May’s job isn’t even secure (not that she’s noticed).

Theresa May has been warned that the Conservative Party will decide on her future, after she indicated she would lead it into the next election.

The Prime Minister surprised Tory colleagues with her defiant statement during a trip to Japan, where she insisted she was “not a quitter”, despite reports she would stand down after overseeing the Brexit process.

During the three-day trip to Japan, where she is seeking to boost future trade relations after Brexit, Ms May confirmed that she intends to fight the next election.

Oh Mayhem. They don’t want you as their leader anymore. They can’t even compliment you properly.

However, former party chairman Grant Shapps said it was “too early” to talk about going “on and on”, and that her comments would “raise eyebrows” among party members after the disastrous election result in June which saw Ms May wipe out her Commons majority.

He also gave faint praise to the Government’s Brexit strategy, saying people were “impressed by the Brexit papers: not necessarily even the contents, just that we were getting on with the job”.

Not necessarily even the contents. 


It’s like being happy that your child has just learnt how to go potty. You’re happy that they’ve done it but… not necessarily happy with the contents.

What a bunch of clueless, insensitive idiots.

Case in point

The Government has been slammed by a UN Committee for failing to uphold the rights of disabled people through a string of austerity policies.

An inquiry into the UK’s progress in fulfilling its commitments to a major UN convention found ministers have failed people with disabilities through a catalogue of policies in recent years, affecting a range of areas from access to healthcare to equality in education and work.

Shameful.

Back in the BREXIT IS THE BEST! camp…

Lord Harris, a retail tycoon estimated to be worth more than £100m, claimed he could only employ staff for 35 hours a week under current EU laws.

However, the European Working Time Directive states employees should not be forced to work longer than 48 hours, and they can opt-out if they decide.

After admitting “we haven’t done too badly” when the presenter told him “you’ve done alright out of it,” he added: “I just feel we would be better off out of the EU.”

Lord Harris is now among the 1,000 richest people in the UK, according to The Sunday Times RichList.

…What the actual fuck? He basically has no idea what the EU rules are. Didn’t anyone tell him that the EU rules actually allows him to employ his workers for crazy hours. Or does he know but decided to try and defend his stance with a made up number? You tell me.

Over in the US of Awful (sorry)…

President Donald Trump has pledged that he will give $1 million to those survivors of Hurricane Harvey in Houston, Texas and surrounding areas. But if past pledges are any indication, they probably shouldn’t hold their breath.In 2012, Trump allegedly spoke to Mary Pat Christie, who headed one of the nonprofit coalitions that was working to help those in New Jersey hurt by the storm.

No one was able to find Trump’s donation to the fund.

Washington Post reporter David Fahrenthold noted that Trump also pledged $1 million to a veterans group. It was only after reporters revealed the donation never came, that Trump was finally forced to give. He’s only given $1 million donations twice ever.

Good luck getting that scrilla, Texas.

Other news:

Inspirational quote of the week:

Have a good time!

It was said by man of the hour, Donald Trump, to a group of Harvey victims.

Seven days after the first major hurricane to make landfall in the United States in a dozen years struck the coast of Texas, leaving hundreds of square miles underwater and at least 50 people dead, a buoyant President Donald Trump arrived in Houston on Saturday morning to urge victims of the storm’s devastation to “have a good time!” in the face of losing their homes and loved ones.

The sooner that we don’t have to hear about this pus bucket (Trump) the better… ugh.

I’m gonna close out with some Linkin Park because this song is fitting.

Advertisements

How Not To Stay Out Of Politics


Hello! 

It’s been a quiet around here hasn’t it? I am extremely behind on everything. Damn. Time flies even when you’re not having fun. 

Like, I predicted, the G20 summit was lit. 🔥

In all of the wrong ways.

He was an uneasy, lonely, awkward figure at this gathering and you got the strong sense some of the leaders are trying to find the best way to work around him

“He has no desire and no capacity to lead the world.

“[He] barks out bile in 140 characters, [and] wastes his precious days as President at war with the West’s institutions like the judiciary, independent government agencies and the free press.”

Yup,yup and yup.

The main talking point:

A Russian official at the G-20 Summit tweeted, then deleted a photo of Ivanka Trump taking her father’s seat alongside world leaders that sparked critiques of the first daughter’s role at the summit.

Svetlana Lukash, who is serving as a Russian emissary at the summit, tweeted on Saturday that Ivanka “replaces Pres Trump at the #G20 table as he leaves for bilateral meetings.”

The tweet was deleted around 10 am ET.

Look. I’m not American. I’m not even sad that America has been shunned by the rest of Europe and other major countries as the defacto leader when it comes to tackling issues. The one good thing to come out of Trump being President is the end of US dominance. It’s time for y’all to let someone else fuck up for a change. At least until you get rid of Le Pumpkin. 

That being said, who the fuck does Ivanka Trump think she is? Girl, why are you even at G20? I don’t care if your husband is a government official, at least we didn’t see pictures of him in what looked like an awful prom dress, or pictures of him sitting in for the President.

“I try to stay out of politics,” Ms Trump said, when she was asked what she advised her father regarding his seemingly knee-jerk use of Twitter.

She’s a Trump, so we shouldn’t be surprised that she fixed her mouth to lie about staying out of politics. The fucking White House rats don’t even stay out of politics, let alone someone who has an office and security clearance.

This is one thing that would be baffling if we couldn’t smell the stench of nepotism a mile off. I saw Trump supporters trying to compare Trump hiring family members to the Royal Family (of England). LOL, yeah, no, monarchs are a different ballgame. Try again.

What does Ivanka know about politics? Did she read Politics for Dummies? What are her qualifications? At this point she’s like the Jaden Smith of the family. Trying to follow in her father’s footsteps but failing miserably. It’s kind of like that Graham Norton clip where Will Smith and Alfonso Ribeiro did the Jump On It dance from The Fresh Prince and for some reason Jaden joined them. On one hand you’re like, aw he’s trying but on the other…I just wanted him to get out of the way. It’s meant to be Will and Carlton, I didn’t vote for Jaden.

Anyway, yeah, the fucking nerve of this woman. I don’t care who your daddy is. Go find something else to do. Like steal more designs. Or hire slave labour to make said designs. It beggars belief, it really does. If my father was a brain surgeon, I wouldn’t turn up in my scrubs and ask if I could join in. Or agree to if my father was crazy enough to ask me to.

That’s the issue, though. At this point, the sanest member of the family is Barron and that’s because he’s what, 12? His brain is still developing. The rest of them? Donald Trump Jr seems to be brainless (your Twitter will never be as interesting as your father’s buddy, deal with it and stop trying so hard)? Eric, well, he needs to ease up on the hair gel and Ivanka? I used to think she was the smartest one but clearly I was wrong. I know there’s another sister but I know nothing about her thankfully.

They’re all cut from the same box of Crayola, so nothing they do is a surprise. I heard that Melania was trapped in her hotel which I’m sure was fine for her. How’s the cyber bullying campaign coming along, sweetie? It’s not? Oh, okay.

In other news, Trump claims he…

Just twice?? A kid who desperately wants to open the food their parents just bought at the supermarket presses more times than that. Not impressed. Try again (unless of course he stopped at twice because he knew it was redundant anyway).

Another tweet that caught my eye…

What the fuck have the Republicans been doing for the past seven years? They had all of that time to start coming up with something. It’s almost like they were so busy complaining that it just never occurred to them that having a plan in place might be the smart thing to do. Sorry. I used ‘smart’ and ‘Republican’ in the same sentence. My bad.

Meanwhile in the UK…

Twas London Pride this weekend and Theresa May had a message for everyone.

If only she hadn’t just given £1bn to a political party who are raging homophobes.

Theresa May was booed as her speech at Pride in London was played to crowds weeks after she struck a deal with the DUP.

Some revellers appeared disgruntled while the Prime Minister’s message was read, thought to be over her deal with the Northern Irish party.

The DUP has been widely critised for its right-wing stance on social issues including gay rights

[via Evening Standard]

Also Brexit is still an embarrassing mess. Everything costs twice as much as it did last year but uh…that impending trade deal between the UK/US will probably help with that.

Right?

A trade deal between the UK and the US would not be enough to offset the damage caused by Brexit, a cabinet minister had admitted.

David Lidington, the Justice Secretary and Lord Chancellor, said even a “big new trade deal” with the US would not replace the benefits of being in the EU single market and that deals with other countries would be needed too.

[via Independent]

What a surprise….

Donald Trump Winning Wasn’t A Bigly Surprise


image

So….to recap, the next President of the United States is someone who:
– was recently on a reality TV show — he was literally lying for a living.
– bragged about sexual assault and grabbing women by the pussy.
– is being charged for the rape of a 13 year old girl
– once recorded losses of over $900m
– doesn’t pay tax because he’s smart
– uses charity donations to pay legal bills and buy gifts
– doesn’t give a shit to charity

You done fucked up, America. You’ve fucked up real good. You know it’s messed up when BBC News have some kind of help form on their site.

image

Watching the election as an outsider has been interesting. It’s not too long ago that voting for the black guy was considered the protest vote. People were angry with Bush, angry with the Republicans. People are always angry at something. If we could monetize anger, no one would need Trump. We would all be billionaires. Anyway, many times during the process I found myself wishing that Donald Trump would win. If only so that four years down the line, these same people are crying and blaming Trump for every miserable aspect of their lives. It’s kind of like how everyone turned on Nickelback (like they didn’t at least catch themselves singing along to ‘Rockstar’ once).

(more…)