better than spn

I am officially no longer a fan of anything*


This is kind of a response to this: Vision. Fans all have different visions etc. Yeah. Anyway. Rant incoming.

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*Well, except for Manchester United, Chris Hemsworth, certain boybands and Simon Baker. And Tom Hardy on the days when he doesn’t annoy the shit out of me (I am pretty sure most of what he says is just pseudo-babble).

Anyway, for the sake of this post I will mostly refer to football/soccer fans because they’ve really captured my disdain for ‘fans’. At least with SPN, there’s the ‘these people have [insert adjective] fantasies about [insert annoying person affiliated with SPN]’ aspect. It’s stupid but whatever. They’re gullible consumers and whatnot.

Either way, sports fans don’t really have that excuse. Man-crushes don’t count.

Anyway, I used to read the Guardian for sports comments. Basically, I’m the kind of football fan that spends two hours POSTING IN CAPS on Twitter and after that, I go into lurk mode. I stopped reading the Guardian Sports section because it was just full of silly opinion pieces in which the writers would argue against points that they had been writing about for weeks. There was also an aggressive campaign to get a manager fired which was distasteful. In the end, the amount of rage said manager (of my team, no less!) generated was hilarious to me (well, not during matches). They also have this annoying habit of not linking sources. I get it, they have a business to run but it is kind of frustrating to read an article that assumes the readers knows what the fuck they’re talking about it despite providing no information. They do it a lot and I am over it.

So I started using r/soccer, which is basically the subreddit for everything soccer related. I actually started off at the sub for my team but it was very all late teens/early males’ ish and kind of hilariously bad so I switched to r/soccer.

It’s even worse. (more…)

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Night Of The Wild (AKA…The Killer Pet Dog Movie)


I like SyFy movies for what they are – crappy, badly edited but hilarious movies. So when I saw that Rob Morrow happened to be in a SyFy movie I was happy to add it to  my watch list.

With a summary like this, how could I not?

In “NIGHT OF THE WILD”, a large meteor crashes into a quiet town, and pet dogs become mysteriously aggressive. attacking and killing the residents. Teenager Roslyn (Mays) and her old but faithful dog Shep are out camping when the attacks hit. Now separated by the chaos in town and blocked roads, Roslyn and the other members of her family must find each other by fighting back against the blood-thirsty hounds before the dogs take over the whole town and escape becomes impossible.

perfect (more…)

chicago fire: 4×03-05


4×03


I think they manage to reference Chicago Med at least 50 times in the opening ten minutes. Sigh. I will be watching that on Friday and I shall snark about it, cause that’s what I do best! Well. Actually I think procrastinating wins that contest. Anyway. Onto the recaps (ish).

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chicago fire: 4×02


Continuing on from episode 1

The paramedics are still checking in on the baby that they saved. One of them has baby eyes. SIGH. I hope that I’m not smelling an adoption storyline.

Dawson’s pregnant ass finally tells everyone that she’s pregnant (but it hasn’t been six weeks yet…I don’t trust this show) and gets a super duper magical, immediate transfer to a desk job in Arson. CONVENIENT. Well, Severide put in a good word for her but considering that he just got his ass demoted, that’s awfully convenieeeeeeeeeent.

Jeremy from TVD utters a line about Mad Max and at that point I had forgotten that he was on the show. They mention his douchebag brother, so I guess he’ll be back. And while I’m not exactly #TeamManscaping, I really need him to get those eyebrows plucked. They are ALIVE.

Casey finally finds dead body’s notebook (her name is Katya and she was a dancer at a strip club called Stilettos and she was shot last season by some shady dude working with the owner of the club who’s also looking for the notebook *deep breath*). Said owner tries to shoot Casey but he’s foiled by Sgt Voight. YAAAAAAAAAY. Please let there be no more flashbacks.

Molly’s (the bar) new neighbour is bitchy for no reason. Herman shows up with pie and a promise to keep the noise down and she’s all like, ‘my son is allergic to sugar’ and then she insults his five kids. Needless to say, Herman decides to have the best karaoke night of his life on that same night. Right after throwing the pie at her door. Welp.

Oh and another character from Chicago Med shows up, because you now, NEW SHOW!! CHICAGO TRILOGY WOOO! I can’t wait for the four part crossover with Chicago PD/Chicago Fire/Chicago Med and SVU. I could do without the SVU part, it’s always some depressing shit. The last SVU crossover episode was just unnecessary.

GOTHAM: 2×06, that girl is on fire


…yes, my title is from that Alicia Keys song about the girl with some kind of rash.

SNAK

previously: theo burned some shit to the ground and some chick called firefly killed some cop with a flamethrower and all kinds of hell broke loose. butch had his hand chopped off. (more…)

chicago fire: 4×01, jeremy from tvd lives on


My favourite soapy TV drama has returned for another year! (I’m three weeks late but whatever).

So last season, Dawson was pregnant but !!!! she found a dead body in baby daddy’s (Casey) apartment.

I love this show.

That’s all wrapped up in the first five minutes. Casey’s fine and the police catch the bad guys. Oh, but I guess we’re getting flashbacks. Sweet.

The dead body left behind a notebook exposing some seeding people smuggling ring so they’re also looking for that.

FRED LEHNE IS HERE? EW. But anyway, yeah, he’s here to do a employee check or something. They strip Severide (Lady Gaga’s boyfriend) of his rank and replace him with some dude called Texas or Dallas or something. WELP. They can’t just do Severide like that! Rude.

Casey says he’s fine, but he’s not fine. Dawson is doing that staring-into-space-thing characters do to show they have a lot on their mind.

Oh boy….there’s a new candidate for the firehouse and it’s a naked and taped up Jeremy from TVD. Jeremy stays losin’, y’all. His name is Jimmy but I will call him Jeremy. He gets his ass fired. But not before he makes eyes at one of the paramedics. SIGH.

Texas brings pizza and they’re all like, ‘Severide can we eat or nah?’ Severide takes a bite and then bounces. What a waste! LOL. Welp. Guess they’ll be beefing this season.

Later, Casey realises that the bad dude probably already has dead body’s notebook.

Jeremy from TVD comes back at the end of the episode and begs for his job back and he GETS IT! Jeremy from TVD wins at last!

Texas is all like, ‘Well, Severide doesn’t like me and skipped my boat party, but that’s his problem.” Alright, dude.

Btw, pregnant!Dawson’s ass shouldn’t be ANYWHERE near fires but I saw her up in there evacuating some old dude! Teratogens, girl. Look it up.

Molly’s (the bar that some of the firefighters co-own) has some new neighbours and they come to complain about the noise. Uh…they moved next to a bar? It was a bar before they moved in! Whaaat. LOL.

Meanwhile, Severide is on his 38939303th love interest since the show started. Oh, and he’s decided to quit Firehouse 51.

EYE ROLL.

The baby that the paramedics helped bring to life survives, yay! They made sure to give the dude from Chicago Med some screen time, ’cause you know, NEW SHOW STARTING THIS NOVEMBER. These spin-offs exhaust me.

At the end, Casey’s all like, ‘Dawson, I love you, let’s get back together blah, blah, blah” and she blurts out that she’s pregnant.

UGH. I cannot stand those two. Anyway.

It ends on that lovely note.

GOTHAM: 2×04, mighty morphin gotham rangers


SNAK

 

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Last week: ANOTHER ONE BIT THE DUST

I’m tired as hell at the moment, so expect typos. Sorry 😦

This week: At King Pingu HQ, a bunch of people are arguing. Pingu breaks it up with a well executed shot. He’s pissed that no one has figured out who orchestrated the Arkham Asylum breakout.

They thought it was him. But Pingu is like, NAH, WE COOL RIGHT NOW! Things are going great! Well. That was until the ginger maniac destroyed everything.

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Last Man On Earth (Season 1)


At the recommendation of Trish, I decided to check this show out. It had a slow start, given that there were only two characters in the first few episodes but it grew on me slowly. The best thing about the show is that they manage to pack a lot into twenty minutes. It’s an unconventional sitcom. There’s no laugh track, or obvious cutaways and I like that.

The show is basically set in a time where most of the world has been wiped out by a virus bar Phil Miller, who’s been going around the USA, leaving the words ‘Alive in Tucson’ on billboards, while having an interesting time all alone in his house believing that he’s the ‘Last man on Earth’. By the end of the first episode, he bumps into Carol. The actress playing Carol was on The Hotwives of Orlando playing a spoof of Kim Richards and her voice really, really got on my nerves then and it did on this show too. Somehow, I got used to it and I actually kind of like her character too. (more…)

GOTHAM: 2X03, papa don’t preach


SNAK

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Last week: CHAOS.

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And the reinvention of the telephone.


This week:

Someoone is thrown out a window….by JIM GORDON? Okay, Jim. Do you. (more…)

GOTHAM: 2×01, the adventures of pingu, jimmy and lil bruce


I’m recapping Gotham! This probably won’t last long but I love this crazy show. If you’re someone who has impossibly high standards, Gotham isn’t the show for you. The first half of season 1 was excellent, well-paced, etc. Fox then ordered eight more episodes and….they weren’t as excellent but they were all hilarious. The phrase ‘0 to 100’ comes to mind. The finale was absolutely ridiculous but I loved it.

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Last season: Almost everyone on this show lost their damn mind and either killed their parents, destroyed their offspring in the name of science or just straight up killed a shit ton of people.

Now: Penguin is running the the streets. James Gordon is a traffic cop and all booed up with his girl, Lee. Harvey Bullock is tending bar, because you know, shit happens. Crazy!Barbie AKA Barbara checks into her five star stay at Arkham Asylum, where she locks eyes on Joker-In-Waiting.

What a helpful montage…
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