beauty

Iron-Woman


Hello, snarklings. I hope you are all having a good weekend.

I was going to post about that Donald Trump Jr. fiasco that broke this week but I already knew that he was an idiot. That we now have evidence is just a mere footnote. Okay, well, not really. ‘I LOVE IT!’? And Kushner and Manafort were there too? I think I just heard an echo of Putin laughing away evilly in the distance.

Oh and Kellyanne…

When will you stop embarrassing yourself on TV? I’d say that agreeing to meet the Russians in order to collect dirt on Hilary sounds a lot like collusion. (more…)

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A deliciously daring fashion accessory


If you’re wondering why my blog has turned into a random mess of posts – this is what happens when you lose interest in why your blog was initially based on! Even when they decide that they want to do a crossover with Scooby-Doo (see previous post) whom I love enough to want this crossover to die in a fiery pit of molten ash.

Anyway.

I don’t doubt that the Japanese love fake food samples so much but…$120. I don’t think so, mate. I’d need some actual food with my purchase and even then, I’d need a hundred dollar discount and free delivery.  (more…)

Fish Lips and Repetitive Vowel Sounds


Yes, it’s that time where I wonder why you can buy such nonsense on the web. 

I think the makers of this site are just fucking with all of us. 

Seriously

I gaped at this and was ready to move on when I read the description. Specifically this part.

The makers recommend you say vowel sounds out loud over and over again, producing regular and methodical exercises that will strength the twelve facial expression muscles in a comprehensive way

I’m snarkless at this point. Utterly snarkless. The fact that it looks like fish lips. The vowel sounds. The fact that they instruct you to ‘pop in’ the mold and then make mouth movements

Just. 

Bye. 

How To Straighten Your Nose In 3 Minutes


1. Buy one of these

2. Come to your senses

3. Embrace your imperfect nose

Or…

4. Pay for the plastic surgery instead of wasting $50

Or…

5. COME TO YOUR DAMN SENSES. 

(side note: people must be buying this thing. Imagine how stupid it must look, lol!)

The Girl Who Hates Everything | Make-Up Snark!


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my life motto

fashion-girl-makeup-paint

I can’t work out if it’s That or Who. Where’s a pedant when I need one?!

K, first of all – I have nothing against makeup — I love my matte lipstick. I love my silver eyeliner. I love my lipgloss, my mascara, my eyeshadows and well, you get the drill.

But sometimes I kind of hate it — and I guess I do have something against it. Whatever. My first line was an alternative fact, okay? (more…)