Bad Inventions

Fish Lips and Repetitive Vowel Sounds

Yes, it’s that time where I wonder why you can buy such nonsense on the web. 

I think the makers of this site are just fucking with all of us. 


I gaped at this and was ready to move on when I read the description. Specifically this part.

The makers recommend you say vowel sounds out loud over and over again, producing regular and methodical exercises that will strength the twelve facial expression muscles in a comprehensive way

I’m snarkless at this point. Utterly snarkless. The fact that it looks like fish lips. The vowel sounds. The fact that they instruct you to ‘pop in’ the mold and then make mouth movements



Hide your cats, hide your smile…

First of all, I’d like to thank Bow Wow for providing some much needed amusement today. Although, most people laughing away know damn well that they stunt for Instagram as well. That’s what Instagram is for. Showing off and constant pet pictures in case we forget what your cat looks like. 

Anyway, onto today’s discoveries. 
First up is this Cat Food Candle. 

Look. Unless someone wants crispy fried cat, I don’t think this candle is good idea (unless they don’t have a cat and want a cat food candle for some unexplained reason). 

Next we have a smile exerciser mouthpiece? 

This contraption SCARES me. But I guess it beats pumping all kinds of chemicals into your lips. Actually, I think both are terrible. We should be working to outlaw duck face and not promoting it. Since when was it style of face? And why would anybody want to have permanent duck face?

It even looks terrible on Batman

And isn’t the whole point of duck face that you’re not smiling? Maybe they should call this the Smile Evaporator Mouthpiece? 

I…I have officially run out of words. And now I’m making a duck face at my phone. 

How To Straighten Your Nose In 3 Minutes

1. Buy one of these

2. Come to your senses

3. Embrace your imperfect nose


4. Pay for the plastic surgery instead of wasting $50



(side note: people must be buying this thing. Imagine how stupid it must look, lol!)