Here at Supernatural Snark, I’ve posted about many different things.
There were three seasons of Supernatural recaps.
There was a recap of the Killer Pet Dog SyFy movie (which is a surprisingly popular post of mine).
I snarked about Trump for a good three months.
I’ve even spoken about BET shows.
It’s been a mixed bag. Somewhere along the line, I discovered Japan Trend Shop and from time to time you’ll see me post the items that I can’t quite wrap my head around.
Today is no different.
Today I present to you the Japanese Cotton Wife.
Bride-shaped foam cushion by Bibi Lab
Price: US$ 428
Looking for that special someone to snuggle up to? Look no further than wacky Japanese home items maker Bibi Lab and their new Japanese Cotton Wife. This bride-shaped cushion feels realistic to the touch, so you can hug and dress her up to get a unique household companion experience.
What. The. Hell.
What is this? More importantly, why? Why would someone want a wife made out of cotton? What happens when you spill something on her? You’d have to dry clean your wife. That’s grounds for divorce. Irreversible differences.
You know what would make this even better? Bad jokes.
Keen-eyed observers will spot that this is essentially a parody of real “hug pillows”, which are often decorated with sexy anime characters. The Cotton Wife comes in a washable, skin-colored spandex cover and in two sizes. Needless to say, the taller version has a larger, well, bust than the smaller model.
Bigger fake boobs. Wow. Imagine that. There’s room for improvement, though. How about…a video?
This video made me lose it. THE DANCING. THE MUSIC. I was terrified and amused at the same time.
This is unbelievably creepy. I can’t understand why any sane or rational thinking person would buy one of these. Just get a teddy bear?
That being said, I can see a scenario where some Supernatural fan buys two of these and creates their own huggable Jared and Jensen. Or [insert crazy fan] creates their version of [insert object(s) of affection].
Not to be outdone, Bibi Labs have come up with another design in the same vein. I hope that this one DOESN’T have a video.
Huggable life companions
Called in Japanese the Wata Yome and Wata Danna, the Cotton Wife and Husband Hug Pillows by Bibi Lab are unique companions for whenever you need a hug. We’ve seen plenty of hug pillows in Japan before but these have the most attractive and, well, huggable designs so far. These spouses have limbs and a torso, while the springy materials are really addictive.
Limbs and a torso…what the…well, that makes these sex cushions perfectly normal then.
These unique pillows are nearly life-size too. Dress them in clothes for the most realistic results. Then you will really get the benefit of hug when you are lonely and you’ll never be short of a dinner partner again. The set includes a brown, anti-static fleece cover.
Imagine turning up to a dinner party and your host’s significant other isn’t real. I would be out of there faster than you say ding ding chicken wing.
Oh dearie me. I’m done.