Music

If Ed Sheeran had a song about cereal…


… I’m pretty sure that it would go like this:
Ed Sheeran – So Surreal (Cereal)

Woke up one day
It was raining
Water on the window pane
Slowly driving me insane
Went to the cupboard
Before you could say a word
I pulled out the box
Opened the fridge like a sly fox
Rummaging without fear
(Yeah yeah yeah)

(Hook)
Oh and I poured
Yeah-e-yeah
I poured until I couldn’t pour anymore
Oh and I poured
Til I couldn’t pour anymore

(Chorus)
This cereal (cereal)
Seems surreal (seems surreal)
Each bite reminds me (reminds me of you)
And I just can’t be (just can’t be)
Sitting here
Eating cereal (cereal)
I’ve got to move on
Lie under the sun
And think about brighter days
All our happy ways
Eating cereal (cereal)
Giiiirl, you’re so surreal

It was a Monday
Didn’t hear what you say
You looked sad
And I felt bad
Still I pushed you away
Cause every damn day
Went to the cupboard
Before you could say a word
I pulled out the box
Opened the fridge like a sly fox
Rummaging without fear
(Yeah yeah yeah)


Oh and I poured
Yeah-e-yeah
I poured until I couldn’t pour anymore
Oh and I poured
Til I couldn’t pour anymore

This cereal (cereal)
Seems surreal (seems surreal)
Each bite reminds me (reminds me of you)
And I just can’t be (just can’t be)
Sitting here
Eating cereal (cereal)
I’ve got to move on
Lie under the sun
And think about brighter days
All our happy ways
Eating cereal (cereal)
Giiiirl, you’re so surreal

Bridge [needlessly backed by a gospel choir]

Rice Krispies
Oh yeah, when we had a ball
Cheerios
For when we wished we had it all
Cornflakes
That night we danced in the hall
Honey Nut
Oh, girl you really made me fall
Coco pops
Oh, yeah you had me up against the wall
Cereal (oh na na na na naii)
Girl you had me standing tall

(Hook)

(Chorus) x 3


If you’re wondering why I penned this song (lmao), the answer is that I don’t get Ed Sheeran. He went from being a WGWG (White Guy With Guitar) to an overexposed and overrated WGWG. I actually liked his first album. Lego House. Give Me Love. A Team etc. Everything else that’s come after it – nope.
Shape Of You still makes me want to take a frying pan to the head.

It’s not unusual for someone to sell out the way he did, and whatever, get money.

I’d just like him to get money without irritating me with his bland, unexciting lyrics.

Advertisements

L.O.V.E.


Dark times lie ahead so I’ve gone back. Thanks to the internet, you can play old shows and try and convince yourself that it’s still 2005, back when shit was normal. Well. By normal I mean less crazy because we’ve been on a downward spiral for some time now. The noughties were an interesting time. Reality TV really took off.

There was Newlyweds, wherein Jessica Simpson wondered if she was eating chicken because the tuna can said chicken of the sea on it. And even if you felt sorry for Nick Lachey, he instantly undid that by being a bit of a douche. I recently watched the first season and a some of the second season and it’s awful but amazing at the same time. There was too much stupid in that relationship.

Not to be outdone by her sister, Ashlee Simpson broke through and got her own television show. Her pop career took off and prospered (lol) until her disastrous SNL appearance and a massive influx of boos after her Orange Bowl performance. Neither of which were probably entirely her fault, but the fact that she was a blatant manufactured product meant that people were all too willing to hate her.

I am still confused by the whole fake punk thing she was going for. Black hair, grungy clothes etc. How hardcore. Her music was garbage, and I say this as someone who used to rock to Avril Lavigne. Ashlee Simpson was like a third rate Avril that you’d give money to in order to get her to stop performing.

Anyway, MADtv took her SNL appearance and really ran with it. Some of the skits are hilarious. I almost feel bad for her because they’re brutal.

This is the original video for L.O.V.E (which is sort of catchy and awful at the same time).

And this is the madTV skit:

They also spoofed her show and her SNL performance. I feel bad for laughing but they’re hilarious.

Join me tomorrow for my social commentary on every single episode of That’s So Raven.

(Don’t worry, I’m kidding. I haven’t reached that level of misery just yet.)

Image credit: here

Ebony and Ivory


[direct link]

Ebony and ivory live together in perfect harmony
Side by side on my piano keyboard, oh Lord, why don’t we?
We all know that people are the same whereever you go
There is good and bad in ev’ryone
We learn to live, when we learn to give
Each other what we need to survive, together alive
(more…)

10 ‘Our Lady Peace’ songs that everyone should listen to!


So, a friend and I were reminiscing about Our Lady Peace and given that I actually know where my old iPod is for once, I had their songs at hand and as I was scrolling through it I realised that these songs will always be classic (well to me at least). Teenage me used to bump OLP on a daily basis. I still listen to Innocent regularly because it’s one of my favourite songs of all time. FSOAT (I don’t think that’s going to catch on).

Here are the ten songs! I added lyrics just to pad the post, but whatever, OLP know how to break it down for everyone. Their lyrics are practically poetic.

I’m too lazy to link to anywhere… but OLP are on the usual places. YouTube, Spotify… and so forth.

1. Innocent

Oh, Tina’s losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music, hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie is a war

2. Made of Steel

You wanted a hero tonight
Well I’m not made of steel
I’m not made of steel
But your secret’s safe with me

3. A Story About A Girl

Baby girl, stand up and fight
This is not some paradise
It’s just where we live
Finally you think you’re alright
Then it eats you up alive
You better get used to it

4. Not Enough

There’s nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There’s nothing in between
You know the truth

5. Somewhere Out There

You’re falling back to me
You’re a star that I can see, yeah
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there
You’re falling out of reach
Defying gravity, yeah
I know you’re out there
Somewhere out there

6. Angels/Losing/Sleep

It’s like the calm before the storm
You better swim
Just like it’s cold before it’s warm

7. Life

How many times have you been pushed around
Is anybody there, does anybody care
And how many times have your friends let you down
Is anybody there, did anybody stare
And how many times have your friends let you down
Just open up your heart
Just open up your mind

8. Sorry

Today’s a reason for living
Today’s the blood from a stone
Today’s the light from a candle
Helping us to find our way home
Today we carry each other
Today the past is a freak
Today is the time for forgiveness

9. Are You Sad?

Are you sad?
Are you holding yourself?
Are you locked in your room?
You shouldn’t be

10. Clumsy

And maybe you should sleep
And maybe you just need, a friend
As clumsy as you’ve been

Special mentions:

  • Do You Like It
  • One Man Army
  • Where Are You
  • Never Get Over You
  • Love And Trust

You know what? Do You Like It is too good for a special mention. It’s number 11.

11. Do You Like It

It’s too little too late
Well I can’t escape
So beggin’ you please
I changed all the things that you told me to change

Thank you and goodnight.

stupid and senseless: aaron carter (na na na na na na na na)


Oh, Aaron, what are we going to do with you? That video is still one of the most embarrassing things I’ve ever seen, lol.

Anyway!

Ooh Wee

Aaron was in the news recently for his DUI arrest and subsequent fifteen minutes of fame. He milked that arrest like it needed to be delivered the next morning. Damn. He called Nick out (this is all Aaron does when it comes to Nick, but that’s related to other shit), he said people were body shaming him. We didn’t know the truth. The truth would come out.

This statement had me rolllllllling. Arrested for being a celebrity? Oh and he wasn’t under the influence even though…

arresting officers witnessed the Aaron’s Party singer ‘driving all over the road and running into the median’ while operating a white Chevy Suburban with no tags

Alright, boo.

I know that you’re all dying to see a close up of that neck tattoo so here it is!

(more…)

Waiting For The End


Whenever someone who had a huge musical impact on me dies, I always have their song lyrics in their head. I’ll never claim to be someone who memorises lyrics but you never forget the ones that resonate with you.

Linkin Park have so many songs like that for me.

I won’t pretend that their albums post Meteora are my favorites but Chester (and co) always wrote at least one song you could relate to.

Waiting For The End is one in particular. I’m not sure if it was released as a track or not but it’s one of my favourite songs and it was all that was in my head when I heard the shocking news. It’s hard to believe that we won’t hear that voice again. 

It’s yet another tragic loss of life and I hope he finds the peace he was looking for.


RIP, Chester.

We Are Here To Change The World 



I can’t believe it’s been eight years since Michael Jackson passed away. 
Celebrity deaths aren’t really something that I go crazy over. You get those people who go out and lay flowers and everything and I’m always wondering why. They didn’t know that celebrity. Not really. 

That being said, Michael Jackson’s death was that one moment for me. His music was a huge part of my childhood. I’m pretty sure his song Ghosts caused my most scariest nightmare to date, but I’ve made my peace with it. It was my go to jam for a good couple of weeks, I just can’t ever watch the video again. 

Anyway, I used to know all of the lyrics to all his songs because I heard them so much. I even knew the words to Butterflies (which is underrated by the way). 

I still remember the day the news of his death broke. No one was sure what was happening. Was he head? Or just in hospital? CNN were running around like headless chickens. The internet was confused. Eventually it all became clear. 

Michael Jackson was dead. 

It was a huge shock to me personally. We had the excitement of his concerts in London. Some of my friends had tickets, I desperately wanted one myself. One minute he was well on his way to making a comeback and the next…he was gone. 

I remember going on a trip to an event at the venue where he’d been due to perform and everyone was writing messages to him on the advertising boards for his concerts. I have no idea what I wrote, but it was hard to find space. I always wonder what they did with all of it. 

Obviously, he became a controversial figure in the later years, and he was vilified by the press and public. None of that takes away from the fact that he was immensely talented. I’m not one to go crazy over singers but Michael Jackson is a legend, and his music is timeless. 

People will still be listening to his songs long after we’re all gone, that I’m sure of. 

Case in point: I recently saw Captain EO for the first time ever. I wish I could have seen it was intended to be, but it’s still pretty cool. We Are Here To Change The World is a great song and the overall message of the film is still relevant today. I don’t think anyone but Michael could have pulled off the earnestness of Captain EO. It’s well worth a watch if you have time. It’s about 15 minutes long. 

Going back to the music, I don’t think I even have a favourite MJ song because there are so many classics. The main ones like, Bad, Thriller, Beat It, Man In The Mirror, Smooth Criminal and others like Jam (Jam Jam, here comes the man, hot damn!), Dangerous, In The Closet, Do You Remember The Time, They Don’t Care About Us, Will You Be There?, Earth Song, She Drives Me Wild, Why You Wanna Trip On Me, Human Nature, Heal The World and You Rock My World. There are too many to choose from, but this is one instance where that’s not a bad thing.

Do I even need to go into his iconic music videos? Ghosts aside, watching an MJ video was always a good time. 

Hee hee!

Rest in peace, MJ 💜.

My Discovery of Hick Hop


First of all, what the ever loving Reba Kid Rock Blake Shelton (all the country artists I know) fuck is Hick Hop?

Country rap is a subgenre of popular music blending country music with hip hop-style rapping, also known as hick-hop or rural rap.

Oh.

But…

WHAT IS THIS.  (more…)

lyric videos


The Girl That Hates Everything | Official Lyric Videos

I know that this seems petty but is nothing sacred anymore? There was a place for lyric videos. That place was YouTube and the creators were people like you and me. People that had a fondness for a basic black background and Comic Sans font. Or occasionally, backgrounds and fonts that clashed violently. Still, that’s what was so fun about lyric videos. Someone sitting down to take the time to put it all together simply because they enjoyed the song. Now the only thing people enjoy to do is post long forty minutes responses to viral vidoes, reality shows and other people’s videos. And talk about themselves. And troll comments. Or let you know that they’re watching in [insert calendar year here]. I always get the feeling that if aliens came down to Earth, they’d take one look at YouTube and never come back. 

(more…)

tgthe: shape of you by ed sheeran


If given a choice between listening to this song and never listening to music for the rest of my life, I’d pick the latter.
It is garbage.

It’s worse than garbage, at least garbage is picked up eventually. This song is everywhere polluting screens and airwaves. Just hearing it irritates me. Lyrically, it’s shit. The arrangement is lazy. The repetitive ooh I ooh I ooh I (or whatever the heck he’s saying) makes me want to bang my head against a hard surface. Repeatedly.

In fact, Ed Sheeran in general makes me want to move to a cave where I never have to listen to him again. I liked his first album. I really did, but everything that’s come after it has been atrocious. He’s singlehandedly ruining the ‘white guy plays acoustic guitar’ trope because they all sound like superior or inferior versions of him now (sorry James Blunt).

Ugh, anyway, yes. Just wanted you all to know.