Smallville Thoughts #1 | Clark and Lana

I should have posted my top five episodes from season 1 by now, but I just finished season 2 and this new series needs to be done. I need somewhere to vent my frustration with this show.

So, welcome to Snarkville!

I would tweet, but… no.

My first topic isn’t even about the relationship between Clark and Lana (SIGH), but their on-screen dynamic. More specifically, their kissing scenes. In all of my years watching low-brow television, they have the worst on-screen kisses I have EVER seen in my life.

It is unbearably awkward.

They have decent chemistry, but it just falls apart whenever they’re not doing that CW thing where the characters stare into each others eyes and then we all bask in uncomfortable silence (in Lana’s defense, I feel like this is a Tom Welling speciality).

Towards the end I was skipping their non-dialogue scenes. I couldn’t do it anymore and I seem to be the ONLY one with this issue. I’ve seen people calling them ‘hot’ and ‘mind-blowing’. How? Where? Never mind that Clark looks like he’s going to physically inhale Lana EVERY TIME, they occasionally insist on having close-up shots. I sometimes watched the show on my phone which made it that much worse.

Imagine this:

All up in your face at 4am?

It’s shocking that I didn’t get nightmares.

And fine that GIF is from an episode where Clark was on Red Kryptonite and acting like a jerk, but the ones with regular farmboy CK are not much better.

I feel like Smallville was leaning towards its teen show status with these weirdly over the top kiss scenes. Clark and Lana were the worst offenders, but it was a common theme throughout the show and they almost always go on for too long.

[Side note: I think the worst kiss comes in Season 8, Episode 4. There was tongue and it was visible and horrific.]

God bless the fast forward option because after one kiss, I’d had enough.

And yes, I just wrote a post about kissing scenes on a twenty year old show.

I need a new hobby. 😂

SNARK WITH ME!

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