Professionals | Episode 4 “Vectors”

Multi-billionaire Peter Swann (Brendan Fraser) is starting a satellite-supported project that aims to detect disease outbreaks at an early stage in order to be able to intervene more quickly. But the rocket that is supposed to take the satellite into space explodes shortly after it has been launched. His fiancée, doctor Grace Davila (Elena Anaya), then persuades him to hire security professional Vincent Corbo (Tom Welling) to investigate the incident.

I think I need to start a new blog series – Bad TV-athon and this show will be numero uno. Yet, I’m still watching it (of course I am, Supernatural trained me for this!).


S1, Episode 4: Vectors

During a charity gala for the Panacea project, Peter confronts his sister. Vincent is put under pressure, and Grace is called out on a dangerous mission before the gala ends in disaster.


Main points:

– Brendan Fraser is the only saving grace of this show
– Tom Welling looks like he’s questioning his life choices as each scene progresses.
– It’s so bad it’s… watchable, but only to see if the outdo themselves (and they often do).


I think this was the best episode so far in terms of mind boggling entertainment and the worst for everything else. There was so much happening that I had to watch it twice and I will probably still forget things.

Once again, the writing leaves a lot to be desired. It’s poor to average and completely uninspiring for the most part, but out of nowhere they will throw in a corny or completely ridiculous line that throws me out of the show entirely, lol

Notable lines:

Run fat boy, run

– Danny while being chased by the security guard.

Dr Swann’s daughter Jane has been vibing me all night

– Danny while being an asshole.

It’s like he’s in love with me

– Danny while being chased by a policeman who just won’t let up.

In case it’s not clear, Danny is the worst.


The episode begins with Danny and a friend running away from a guard before they steal a car. Danny is about to hotwire it when….we get a *17 minutes earlier* and we’re watching them try attempt to steal a car right from the showroom, trip the alarm and run away… leading us back into the original scene.

Holy, unnecessary flashback, Batman! We get it, they were being chased and stealing a car. Why did we need to rewind back 17 minutes? Why such an odd number?

My face during this show is basically this:

Anyway, they get away only to walk right into our generic villain Tariq Basari’s trap. He threatens to kill Danny, but Danny offers up Vincent (his brother). I wasn’t understanding any of this, but okay, sure, I’ll go along with Danny randomly offering up his brother. They go on to find Basari three new operatives (but we don’t see them again?) for… whatever reason. He seemed like he had enough operatives before.

Meanwhile, Peter is hunting with his father. Not before asking Hacksaw to babysit his daughter because a grown ass man is the right person for the job. Peter is upset about his sister Zora being a liar and manipulating the crash report of the satellite. His father is basically like, ‘well, fear doesn’t lead to success’ or something, I didn’t listen to the conversation during both viewings. I was too distracted by Vincent’s outfit.

A brown leather jacket, a white shirt and black combat pants tucked into tan combat boots. WHY?

Fast forward to a charity benefit in Monte Carlo (which they helpfully showed on screen, I spent much of the episode trying to figure out where they were! Usually there are in 50 locations per episode. This time, there was nothing until Monte Carlo. Are they still in Ireland? South Africa? Europe? I’m guessing it was Europe)…and Vincent and his team are on the job.

Zora tries to convince Peter to relinquish the company, but he refuses. She tells him that the board think he’s incompetent and they all think the medical satellite is draining their funds, etc. He says he’d rather be pushed than jump. She activates Plan B with Luther (who is somehow evading Vincent and his team. Shouldn’t they be keeping an eye on him?). Plan B is basically to execute all the board members.

My mouth DROPPED. Like, what a drastic and dark turn, lol. And also, why? If Zora is upset that the company has lost billions wouldn’t the death of board members cause more loss? I’m just saying.

Anyway, before Plan B, Agents Elias and Neumann from Europol show up uninvited (and because they needed to be in the episode). From an earlier scene, we know Basari is trying to intimidate Elias who so happens to be pregnant. They approach Vincent who tries to avoid them until he can’t.

Again, they didn’t see your face, Vincent, what are you doing? They don’t know that you robbed them! That conversation ends when Tariq Basari shows up at the benefit with Danny. Danny is now angry with Vincent for what he did to him in Mali.

What the… Mali? Why are you dropping this on us mid-episode? We cut to Mali and Danny was shooting at legionnaires, and Vincent basically ran him over with a truck to stop him (and to stop them from killing him!). He thought Danny didn’t remember and… this makes very little sense, but they needed conflict, I guess.

It’s never disclosed to us how Danny knows, although, I guess Basari told him? And Danny is now Team Basari even though Basari has tried to kill him more than once. At that point, Vincent realises he needs to bounce and he tells Grace. Grace, at this point, and in a completely unrelated plot point is trying to secure 6000 doses of a virus that has popped up in Africa. She says she needs to run an errand for 48 hours off the grid (but why, though?) and Vincent is like, ‘sure, I won’t tell Peter because I need to quit and disappear anyway’.

Before we can make sense of that, the power goes out and Luther manages to assassinate all of the board members on the hitlist without being detected (must have been a REALLY dark location given the sheer number of people present!). At one point, he pushes a board member who’s in a wheelchair down a flight of stairs. So rude!

There are board members in other countries who are taken out at the same time. Highlights? One is shot down in a hot air balloon. Another is sprayed with some kind of toxin and falls down an elevator shaft.

I was so baffled (yet entertained) during this whole sequence! It just seemed to proceed at a crazy pace. The first time I watched it, I missed the part where they helpfully show us all the board members so we know who they are for later.

The power comes back on and for whatever reason, Tariq Basari decides to attack Neumann. At this point, he’s already publicly ridiculed him and revealed that Elias is pregnant. And Neumann had to be talked out of stabbing him. Yet here he is, beating the shit out of Neumann, dousing him with gasoline and tossing a lighter at him. In full view of anyone who happens to be in this parking lot…

… but why is he doing this himself? Why is he here? Why is he antagonising law enforcement in a parking lot where anyone can see him? What happened to the three operatives he hired? Anyone?

ANYONE?

Before he can fry Neumann, Vincent appears and tackles Tariq while Peter catches the lighter and blows it out. It was very smooth sequence. Have I mentioned the fact that I love Brendan Fraser? The police arrive at that moment and Tariq runs away.

They all realise that Grace has vanished, and Vincent is all like, ‘she’s okay’. I’m not sure how he knows that, but I’m tired. Too much has happened.

I’m curious to see how they will tie it all up given the huge in-episode plot holes, but… it was an entertaining hour of television despite my many questions.

I think the point is that I’m supposed to turn my brain off and watch that way I don’t have any questions.

Guess I’ll do that next time. Or just read the IMDB reviews (which are still hilarious).

Example(s):

“It’s just a damn shame all around that anyone found themselves in a place of such abject desperation that they would agree to help make “Professionals” happen.”

Ouuuch.

“In my opinion they should have saved the money and uninspired effort and given the money to the worlds starving”

Rating: 5/10. The writing is a major problem at this point, but what adds to it is the poor editing. I’m going with the theory that this show is a spoof of similar and better shows. *nods*.

SNARK WITH ME!

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