Wentworth Miller is tired

Ah, Wentworth Miller. 

I went to an all girls’ school and everyone was in love with him. Eventually, Prison Break ended and he fell off. I did hear that he’s on a bunch of CW shows now and that means one thing. 

He’s encountered the madness that is fandom. 

I have to post this because it has everything. I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or scratch my head in bemusement. 

https://www.facebook.com/notes/wentworth-miller/recalibration/2128302180716046/

This page is not what it was. (A positive thing. IMO.)

I’m doing work here. Work I take seriously. And I’m committed to continuing to create a (relatively) safe, (relatively) structured container in which to do it.

    All other concerns, up to and including what’s cozy/comfy for other people, come second.

    I write and share for me. And I’m speaking to those who understand what I have to say. (Or some of what I have to say.) Some of those people are here now. Some of those people have yet to arrive. Everyone else is just… here. Do you know what I mean?

    Some of you can hang with that. Some of you get where I’m coming from. Others can and will continue to go. With and without assistance. That includes people who…

    • Enjoy bringing some drams to this page. Reacting to drams on this page. Commenting on drams on this page.
    • Spam me with emojis and dancing this-that-and-the-other. I’m a 46 year-old man. I can see 50 from where I’m sitting (and enjoying the view). That sh-t isn’t appropriate.
    • Call me “boo,” “bae,” “sweetie.” Etc. If you asked anyone who knows me IRL to describe me, “sweet” wouldn’t crack the top 20. Trust me. I experience that kind of nomenclature to be not only inaccurate and age-inappropriate, but condescending. Part of a cultural tradition designed to (consciously or unconsciously) minimize and infantilize gay men. Others too. On a related note, I am likewise uncool with being referred to as a “gay husband,” “gay BFF,” “gay” anything. Folks who know me IRL do not do that. Like, ever.
    • Believe I’m in the habit of visiting your personal FB page. I’m not. Would never. (Unless you’re super cute. And that only happened a few times a few years ago. I don’t do that sh-t anymore. It’s not appropriate. Unless you’re super cute.)
    • Nag me on behalf of people who are no longer on this page. If they aren’t here, it’s for a reason. Move forward.
    • Enjoy playing therapist. Who continue to Speak Into Me as if they know me (they don’t), as if I might be interested in their take on What Is Wrong With Me (I’m not). Who write “You should…”, “You ought to…”, “You need to…” Those people should, ought, and need to focus on themselves. Spend more time doing their work, less pretending they know what mine looks like. IMO.
    • Confuse Opinions with Facts. Discourse, both online and IRL, would go much more smoothly if we began each statement with, “It is my opinion…” or “In my experience…” or “According to my belief system…” This shows respect, humility, an awareness that other people may not think the way we do. Or need to. Going out of our way to shove our Truth down someone else’s throat is a Great American Tradition. (Not exclusively American, but we seem to have a knack for it.) I’m not holding space for it here.

    This is my last word (hopefully) regarding the maintenance and regulation of this page. One of the million and one reasons I took a step back from FB, originally, was because I got tired of playing schoolmarm/traffic cop. I don’t have the energy for it. So please – keep the drams and the cliques and the mean girl/mean boy/mean them crap off my page.

    As always, you are 100% responsible for your experience here. If you find yourself made unwelcome, 1. There’s a reason. 2. You are not owed an explanation. If that doesn’t sit well… tough. This is not a space where you get to say whatever it is you feel like saying. Yes, we all have the right to Speak Our Truth. That doesn’t mean anyone else Has To Listen. There is a designated place where you get to Speak Your Truth with a reasonable expectation of being heard. It’s called “your page.” That’s why God/Mark Zuckerberg invented it. – W.M.

    I feel so conflicted. On one hand, fans are super annoying and I’m here for the tongue lashing he just gave them. However as someone who’s prone to rambling and also a writer, I know that he probably had to cut this down extensively. 

    He probably reread it over and over (and apparently didn’t think it was excessive?) but couldn’t cut it down any further. 

    Concision is a writer’s best friend. 

    There’s always more you can leave out. 

    At some point when you find yourself writing a diatribe to people who are not of sound mind, you have to just tap out. I learnt that the hard way when I would get my snark on. I was writing ‘you suck’ in two thousand words and it was draining.

    Keep the snark short and sweet. 

    He also sounds pretentious as fuck. Like, if I was petty, I’d comment with, “You good, boo?” He’s doing way too much here. 

    I had to Google ‘drams’ and it actually means something, but clearly, he’s trying to be all… I don’t know. I don’t know what’s happening there. Sorry, I mean, what’s ‘haps’ there. 

    All of that super cute nonsense… bruh, how do you have a problem with bae, sweetie, hot cheeks etc. but super cute is fine. If being a 46 year old makes him too old for emojis, it makes him too old to be saying ‘super cute’. Leave that shit to the Valley girls. 

    Plus, I see how he was low key shading his fans. Wentworth, boo, are you calling most of them ugly? Damn.  

    Anyway, live your best life, Wentworth, but… maybe take a break from Facebook. 

    5 thoughts on “Wentworth Miller is tired

    1. He does have some fair points that people in fandoms, in particular with the accepted etiquette nowadays of how fans reach out or react to their favorite actors online, is quite annoying and repetitive. I say “accepted etiquette” with a grain of salt, in that it’s the behavior that on a social media level seems to be normalized as how fans get in touch with actors. And Facebook itself is really mixed in being able to have proper and respectful discourse between people unless it’s heavily monitored. The only thing I disagree with in his post is some of his written language… What’s with his capitalization of certain words? I don’t get it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. He has fair points, but at the end of the day, he could have summed it up on one or two lines. The second you try to act like you’re smarter than everyone else, your message is diluted. By the end of reading this, my sympathy had evaporated.

        I have no idea…The entire post was worded oddly, but he’s a writer, so…That must be it. Lol.

        Like

            1. …. uh…wow.
              …holier than thou? …More like freed from the constraints of self-awareness or irony. That’s some hard-shit insecurity. …I experience such sentences to be not only shit, but uneducationally derived and hurdy gurdy my fuckaboo filter be broke…. I’m a turn 50 next year don’t talk me down Gurrl !

              Like

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