Bad Moviethon #19 – Killers 

#19

…in which I examine if bad movies really deserve their woeful rotten tomatoes score

Rotten Score: 10%

Synopsis: Three years after a fateful trip to the French Riviera, Jen (Katherine Heigl) enjoys the good life in suburbia with her handsome husband, Spencer (Ashton Kutcher). That comes crashing down, however, when gunfire rings out the morning after his 30th birthday. It turns out that Spencer has not been honest with Jen about his job; he’s a deadly spy. Now she must learn to dodge bullets while keeping up an appearance of normalcy.

This movie has to be one of the dumbest things that I have ever seen. Even 10% is a generous score. It was that movie where you just sit back and wonder how many people wasted their time on it. How does a script this awful even get greenlit? Ashton Kutcher’s looks were not enough to save this movie. It’s only saving grace (for me) was seeing Casey Wilson pop up. 

To recap quickly, Katherine Heigl is unlucky in love and on vacation with her parents. Ashton Kutcher is a deadly spy who’s bored with his job. They see each other and inexplicably fall in love. 

Fast forward three years and they’re married blah blah blah happy happy. Until Ashton gets some kind of paranoia around the time of his 30th birthday. It’s short-lived until it isn’t. Suddenly, they’re under attack because everyone they’ve been surrounded by for the past three years are highly trained assassins. These people just played a long con for three years just so they could kill someone and collect a handsome reward. Oh and conveniently, no other assassins try to kill Ashton (I guess the hit was put out via the local newspaper….) apart from the ones in his life already. 

Halfway through the sheer nonsense that ensues, Katherine Heigl finds out that she’s pregnant. The news that her husband is a spy and there’s a bun in the oven is too much and she leaves him. Only to save his life minutes later because getting out of this movie is not that easy. 

Anyway, to sum a long story short, I think Katherine Heigl’s father ends up being a spy himself. Apparently he was the one who put out the hit on Ashton. Yeah, cause that makes sense. Hire a bunch of wild assassins to kill your son in law (and potentially your daughter) instead of just … doing it yourself. 

Bonus LOL: Usher appears as a K-Mart manager. I almost fell on my damn seat. So random. So unexpected. So hilarious. 

Verdict: 1/10. So, yeah. Rotten Tomatoes is bang on the money with this one. This movie is pure garbage. 

3 thoughts on “Bad Moviethon #19 – Killers 

    1. It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve seen, but I certainly lost a few brain cells while watching it. It was all over the place.

      Maybe. Now that the WC games aren’t spread out anymore lol.

      Like

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