they couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery


… otherwise known as the UK’s Brexit position.

[see here for a definition of the title if you need one]

From this article we have:

As the third round of discussions closes on Thursday, the British team are increasingly certain that the hands of EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier are tied by the rigidly worded mandate handed to him by the EU27 member states.

In what universe are his hands tied? His job is to negotiate, not to blindly say, well, there’s twenty seven countries versus the UK, so let me do you a favour!

British officials believe that the mandate given to Mr Barnier has prevented him having sufficient space to negotiate progress, in particular robbing him of the ability to move on to future trade relations, before separation issues like the divorce bill, citizens’ rights, and the Northern Ireland border are addressed

Once again, that’s how negotiations work. Future trade relations don’t benefit the EU, they would benefit the UK. The EU’s interest is…the EU. I’m not sure why the UK refuse to understand that no one is interested in making it easy for them.

A source familiar with the UK’s negotiating position said: “There is some concern about what the UK says is an inflexibility to the Commission’s approach, that it’s difficult to negotiate with people who have perhaps not been given the flexibility to negotiate.”

This is all funny considering that Theresa May’s job isn’t even secure (not that she’s noticed).

Theresa May has been warned that the Conservative Party will decide on her future, after she indicated she would lead it into the next election.

The Prime Minister surprised Tory colleagues with her defiant statement during a trip to Japan, where she insisted she was “not a quitter”, despite reports she would stand down after overseeing the Brexit process.

During the three-day trip to Japan, where she is seeking to boost future trade relations after Brexit, Ms May confirmed that she intends to fight the next election.

Oh Mayhem. They don’t want you as their leader anymore. They can’t even compliment you properly.

However, former party chairman Grant Shapps said it was “too early” to talk about going “on and on”, and that her comments would “raise eyebrows” among party members after the disastrous election result in June which saw Ms May wipe out her Commons majority.

He also gave faint praise to the Government’s Brexit strategy, saying people were “impressed by the Brexit papers: not necessarily even the contents, just that we were getting on with the job”.

Not necessarily even the contents. 


It’s like being happy that your child has just learnt how to go potty. You’re happy that they’ve done it but… not necessarily happy with the contents.

What a bunch of clueless, insensitive idiots.

Case in point

The Government has been slammed by a UN Committee for failing to uphold the rights of disabled people through a string of austerity policies.

An inquiry into the UK’s progress in fulfilling its commitments to a major UN convention found ministers have failed people with disabilities through a catalogue of policies in recent years, affecting a range of areas from access to healthcare to equality in education and work.

Shameful.

Back in the BREXIT IS THE BEST! camp…

Lord Harris, a retail tycoon estimated to be worth more than £100m, claimed he could only employ staff for 35 hours a week under current EU laws.

However, the European Working Time Directive states employees should not be forced to work longer than 48 hours, and they can opt-out if they decide.

After admitting “we haven’t done too badly” when the presenter told him “you’ve done alright out of it,” he added: “I just feel we would be better off out of the EU.”

Lord Harris is now among the 1,000 richest people in the UK, according to The Sunday Times RichList.

…What the actual fuck? He basically has no idea what the EU rules are. Didn’t anyone tell him that the EU rules actually allows him to employ his workers for crazy hours. Or does he know but decided to try and defend his stance with a made up number? You tell me.

Over in the US of Awful (sorry)…

President Donald Trump has pledged that he will give $1 million to those survivors of Hurricane Harvey in Houston, Texas and surrounding areas. But if past pledges are any indication, they probably shouldn’t hold their breath.In 2012, Trump allegedly spoke to Mary Pat Christie, who headed one of the nonprofit coalitions that was working to help those in New Jersey hurt by the storm.

No one was able to find Trump’s donation to the fund.

Washington Post reporter David Fahrenthold noted that Trump also pledged $1 million to a veterans group. It was only after reporters revealed the donation never came, that Trump was finally forced to give. He’s only given $1 million donations twice ever.

Good luck getting that scrilla, Texas.

Other news:

Inspirational quote of the week:

Have a good time!

It was said by man of the hour, Donald Trump, to a group of Harvey victims.

Seven days after the first major hurricane to make landfall in the United States in a dozen years struck the coast of Texas, leaving hundreds of square miles underwater and at least 50 people dead, a buoyant President Donald Trump arrived in Houston on Saturday morning to urge victims of the storm’s devastation to “have a good time!” in the face of losing their homes and loved ones.

The sooner that we don’t have to hear about this pus bucket (Trump) the better… ugh.

I’m gonna close out with some Linkin Park because this song is fitting.

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