The Real World: Trump Administration: Week 17 – A little less conversation and a little more ignorance, please


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I’m back! Baaaack in the saddle again ~guitar riff~ ~headbang~ ~Tom Cruise-esque jump~

Anyway, let’s get down to it. I’ve missed a lot in my absence, but I’m just gonna cover what I’ve read in the past two days lol. Trump’s trip has sort of shoved all the other news to one side. 

1. Spicer is on the verge of getting fired. 

President Trump is set to shake up his communications team, moving press secretary Sean Spicer from the podium at daily briefing, according to sources close to the White House .

Mr. Spicer is expected to remain in a top job in the press office but will be replaced by deputy press secretary Sarah Sanders in providing daily White House briefings, said the source.

The shakeup was predictable following two weeks of communications turmoil at the White House after the abrupt firing of FBI Director James B. Comey.

Mr. Spicer also has had a combative relationship with the press, which has been lampooned repeatedly on “Saturday Night Live,” providing a further distraction for the president’s agenda.

Oh come on! Spicer has to defend nonsense every week, the odds were stacked against him. Can he just co-share the role with the Easter Bunny?

2. Comey was disgusted with Trump and literally tried to blend into curtains that…matched the colour of his suit.

A friend of James Comey has revealed that the former FBI director was “disgusted” when he was hugged by President Donald Trump at the White House.

Benjamin Wittes, a journalist friend of Comey’s and a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, told reporters about a lunch he had with Comey in March.

I would be disgusted too. We don’t know where those tiny hands have been.

Before Comey shook Trump’s hand in the White House’s Blue Room in footage that has been played often since his ousting, the senior intelligence officer had tried to blend in with the curtains to escape Trump’s “inappropriate” behaviour.

Now I’m imagining a Tom and Jerry situation where Trump chases Comey across the White House. Yikes. You can’t blame Comey. Any sane person would actively try to avoid Trump too.

3. Trumpcation

So, Trump has embarked on a nine day trip and usually, those are standard affairs. Usually. Melania has accompanied him, as have Ivanka and Jared Kushner because they have vast amounts of experience and knowledge to bestow on… Wait. That’s right, they’re there because nepotism is acceptable at the highest level of government.

Trump even found time to enjoy a man-only Toby Keith concert. I hope Trump didn’t have to arrive there by bus.

Anyway, IBT has helpfully pointed out that Trump has managed to offend every country on his itinerary.

His nine-day itinerary spans the Middle East and Western Europe where he will visit American allies. But allies though they are, Trump’s megamouth has set him up for some awkward exchanges.

He and his team have managed to offend every country he’s due to visit

4. Dashing Donald

You know how we all know that one person who needs their ass kissed at all times? Anything that’s perceived as a criticism will have them flying off the handle. They will literally fight you if you try to attribute one crumb to them. They will tell you there and then that they don’t cause crumbs. I think we call ’em narcissistic? Anyway, Trump’s hosts have been told to kiss his ass where possible.

Foreign leaders who meet with President Trump this week during his first tour abroad since taking office have been encouraged to tailor their conversation to his personal preferences and knowledge base, The New York Times reports. The big three bullet points to remember: Praise him for winning; don’t talk history; and keep it brief.

After four months of interactions between Mr. Trump and his counterparts, foreign officials and their Washington consultants say certain rules have emerged: Keep it short — no 30-minute monologue for a 30-second attention span.

Do not assume he knows the history of the country or its major points of contention. Compliment him on his Electoral College victory. Contrast him favorably with President Barack Obama. Do not get hung up on whatever was said during the campaign. Stay in regular touch. Do not go in with a shopping list but bring some sort of deal he can call a victory

30 WHOLE MINUTES? That’s far too long. We all know he’ll pretend to be interested for five minutes, do that thing we all do when someone is talking but you’re completely zone out – nod frantically and uhm and ah – and then spend the rest of time singing Britney Spears’ songs in his head.

Compare him favourably to Obama? That’s like comparing Nick Carter favourably to Justin Timberlake.

Also, don’t assume that he knows the history? Look, his advisors know what to do. Send the information packet to Fox News, or even hire a fake anchor to just read it out. Give Trump twenty four hours and the information would be there. That’s how kids learn!

Leaders and diplomats who do not speak English must cut their comments especially short, said Peter Westmacott, former British ambassador to the United States.

How surprising.

5. Bannon in Arabia

Fresh off trying to enforce the Muslim Ban, Bannon tries his best not to shit his pants.

…Why does he look like this? The blow out hair and general disheveled state. Who’s chasing Bannon his dreams?! Oh… wait…

6. The Speech

I happened to catch some and I was amused really. Gone was hate mongering Trump and in its place was a man who is desperate to keep a hold of $110bn dollars. Saudi Arabia have their own role in the current terrorism crisis, hence why they haven’t done much about it, but Trump didn’t seem to care. He was out there blaming Iran, talking about good vs evil, lecturing them etc.

Donald Trump said he was not in Saudi Arabia to “lecture” – but then told the world’s Islamic preachers what to say, condemned “Islamist terrorism” as if violence was a solely Muslim phenomenon and then announced like an Old Testament prophet that he was in “a battle between good and evil”. There were no words of compassion, none of mercy, absolutely not a word of apology for his racist, anti-Muslim speeches of last year.

Now, now, narcissists don’t apologize.

Even more incredibly, he blamed Iran – rather than Isis – for “fuelling sectarian violence”, pitied the Iranian people for their “despair” a day after they had freely elected a liberal reformer as their president, and demanded the further isolation of the largest Shiite country in the Middle East. The regime responsible for “so much instability” is Iran. The Shiite Hezbollah were condemned. So were the Shiite Yemenis. Trump’s Sunni Saudi hosts glowed with warmth at such wisdom.

Really? How does singling out one country help matters?

By the time Trump reached the bit in which he threatened the bad guys – “if you choose the path of terror, your life will be empty, your life will be brief, and your soul will be condemned” – he sounded like a speech-writer for Isis. Apparently – and unsurprisingly, perhaps – Trump’s actual speech was partly the work of the very man who wrote out his much ridiculed (and failed) legal attempt to ban Muslims of seven nations from the United States.

Oh. This…this couldn’t possibly mean that it was disingenuous! Trump doesn’t lie.

Needless to say, Iran are not happy

Donald Trump should spend his time in Riyadh discussing how to avoid Saudi Arabians “carrying out another” 9/11 atrocity in the US instead of making baseless claims about terrorism against other countries, Iran’s foreign minister has said.

Iran’s foreign secretary Javad Zarif pointed out Mr Trump had himself previously suggested the Saudis were behind the 9/11 attacks.

Mr Zarif said: “He must enter into dialogue with them [the Saudis] about ways to prevent terrorists from continuing to fuel the fire in the region and repeating the likes of the September 11 incident by their sponsors in Western countries.

“You will find out who really knocked down the World Trade Centre because they have papers out there that are very secret. You will find it’s the Saudis, you will find that is the case.”

So, basically Trump is sucking up to the Saudi’s in order to get that sweet, sweet money. Fancy that.

7. Special mention

Not really Trump related, but Anthony Wiener/Carlos Danger was in court this week.

Former congressman Anthony Weiner has left a New York City courtroom after pleading guilty to exchanging sexually explicit texts with a 15-year-old girl.

The Democrat cried in court earlier Friday as he apologized for his behavior and said he had destroyed his “life’s dream in public service.”

He pleaded guilty to a single count of transmitting sexual material to a minor.

He agreed not to appeal any sentence between 21 and 27 months in prison. His lawyer can request leniency at a sentencing scheduled for Sept. 8.

Weiner’s political career ended after his penchant for sexting strangers became public. He said his “destructive impulses brought great devastation” to his family and friends.

No sympathy on my end.

8. FOX News fired someone for being racist. Racist! I know, I can hardly believe it myself. FOX News might as well just rename themselves Damage Control News. They’re not playing anymore.

Fox News Channel said Friday that it had fired liberal commentator Bob Beckel for making a racially insensitive remark to a black employee.

Fox offered no details on the case, but a lawyer for the employee said Beckel had “stormed out” of his office Tuesday when the man, who is a technician, came to do work on his computer, saying he was leaving because the worker was black.

The lawyer, Douglas Wigdor, also said that Beckel attempted to intimidate his client and get him to withdraw his complaint in a meeting Friday with Fox executive Kevin Lord. Fox denied that anyone tried to persuade the man to withdraw his complaint, and said that Beckel had apologized to him after he was fired.

Really? He stormed out because the worker was black. Too black to fix his computer or being in his presence? Did he think he was going to catch a residual tan just by being in the presence of a black person? It’s okay. Melanin doesn’t rub off. What a fucking tool.

No sympathy for him either. I wish they could go back and fire him again. On camera.

9. Russian Comedy

Apparently back in 2016, Russian officials were bragging about making Mike Flynn their bitch. Excuse my French.

Russian officials bragged in intercepted communications that now-fired National Security Adviser retired Lt. Gen. Mike Flynn was their patsy and would be the lever they would use to exert control over the administration of President Donald Trump.

CNN political analysts Pamela Brown and Gloria Borger revealed the explosive information on “Anderson Cooper: 360” on Friday night.

Brown said that “multiple sources” confirmed that Russian operatives boasted that they had cultivated a relationship with Flynn “that they could use to influence Donald Trump and his team.”

She continued, “Those conversations deeply concerned U.S. intelligence officials and it even impacted what intelligence the incoming administration was privy to because some Obama intelligence acted on their own to limit how much sensitive information they shared with Flynn.”

Borger said an intelligence official told her “the way the Russians were talking about Flynn was regarded as what they call a ‘five-alarm fire’ from early on.”

Obviously, Trump’s administration will want to downplay this and….

U.S. officials cautioned that the Russians may have been exaggerating about the degree of control they had over Flynn.

…yeah. Totally believe that.

10. Ignorance Squared = More Ignorance

Reporters are still trying to figure Trump supporters out. I guess considering them idiots is too simple and not respectful of their feelings. Anyway, AP looked at how his supporters have been handing the flowing stream of blunders.

“I tuned it out,” Michele Velardi, a 44-year-old in Staten Island, told the AP of the recent news. “I didn’t want to be depressed. I don’t want to feel that he’s not doing what he said, so I just choose to not listen.”

This Vox article goes into the psychology of it all. I’m guilty of ignoring politics too, but usually for a few days. Not entirely like many people do these days. Not that I blame them. Too much bullshit. It’s easier to just blindly go along with whatever group you’re affiliated with.

11. James Comey’s father knows what’s up.

“I never was crazy about Trump,” J. Brien Comey told USA Today’s affiliate in North Jersey. “I’m convinced that he’s nuts. I thought he belonged in an institution. He was crazy before he became president. Now he’s really crazy.”

The article also covers what people think of Comey. My favourite is him being well liked in a bagel shop. .

Further, Comey appears to be well-liked at a bagel shop he frequented in Westport, Connecticut, while working for Bridgewater, the billion dollar hedge fund.

Bless.

Anyway, that’s me done for the week. Thanks for reading if you made it this far down!

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