Haven’t done one of these for a while but it’s festival season and I’m here to rain on someone’s parade (jk but not really).
I’m not a music festival kind of person. Personally, I prefer an arena with indoor facilities and seating. Why pay so much to stand on a field for twelve hours? ‘Cause I’m not sitting on any grass. Or fake grass. Bugs don’t discriminate. No, no, no. I see no joy in standing in a huge crowd of people and getting whacked over the head while staring at blurry figures on a stage that I can barely see. I did enjoy myself at the one I went to, but I enjoyed the indoor concert I was at a few months prior more.
Anyway, from my experience, it was just okay. Nothing special.
1. Everything is mad expensive.
Forget the ticket price. I mean, if you can afford it then, whatever, that’s your problem. Or your joy.
I’m concerned about the beverage and food prices.
They don’t let you bring your own water so that they can charge you an extraordinary amount for it. In my case, we didn’t even get to keep the lids. I am not sure how that made sense but thankfully, no drinks were thrown. Food is even pricier, but it’s either eating your own arm or having to cough up the cash.
People suck. You’ve got the pretentious, preppy white people who come dressed in their straw hats and shorts and just act like they’re somehow better than to. You get those that act like clothing is optional. People who push their way to the front because they have a God given right to be there. People who get so drunk that you wonder why they bothered to show up at all. People who make so much noise that you can’t even hear the fucking music. Or that one couple who just make out the entire time. WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE? Or the people that have full blown conversations as you’re trying to listen to the music. Fam, shut up, please. People suck.
3. Mosh pits
I had the misfortune of being caught up in one of these. I think for the most part, moshing isn’t mainstream but I happened to be watching a rock band. They’re not even hardcore. I can’t even listen to their songs anymore because the lead singer is a gross pig but anyway, these people started moshing and trying to take the rest of us with them. It was so uncomfortable. Resisting a mosh pit requires strength that you don’t know you have. I was also by myself and at the front so I wasn’t ready to go anywhere but out of the freaking area. I survived, barely.
4. Mud, rain…. adverse weather. Portable toilets. Outside.
Okay, well, I was drenched after the festival I went to and also the last indoor concert I was at. Ick. Still, the mud and general mess is a huge no no no, so the indoor still trump the festival!
5. Social media/The internet/FOMO
Glastonbury is the biggest music festival in the UK, although there are a few others that are quite prominent. Reading & Leeds. In the US, there’s Coachella (two whole weekends…Yay), Burning Man and I dunno if those I Heart Radio things count. Anyway. The chatter usually starts about a week before and continues nonstop, even past the event. People tweet, it’s streamed on the web and on TV, people will be going wild about how amazing the shows are and I’m sitting there thinking…’Is it me or is this a bit shit?’
It’s probably me, but…Yeah, I don’t see the hype really. .
Especially DJ sets. I mean, DJing is spinning decks no matter where you do it.
Anyway, are the constant selfies and tweets really necessary? Enjoy yourself! And save your battery for when you decide to film it all and block everyone’s view with your stupid phone. I bet yhsoe people all have power chargers now. Smh.
Ah well. The constant barrage of updates and articles leads to FOMO, which just allows the commercial side of things to snowball. Plus it’s annoying as hell. The only thing worse than constant updates is the constant stream of ‘WISH I WAS THERE!’. It’s tiresome.
I’d rather go to an indoor concert and know that I’m being screwed than fall into that ‘omg we are one‘ festival bs. Mind you you get all of that extra talking during those too… Anyway, whatever. I said what I said.