5 Useful Inventions

Guys, I’ve officially run out of things to snark about. I don’t even hate watch anything anymore. I just read the news and watch things that I like. This is no way to live so I will have to rectify that.

*Googles ‘bad movies 2013’*

Sharknado came up first? How rude! Google is a hater.

Anyway, I have chosen (to attempt) to watch RIPD, but only because I feel like I said I would watch that one next? Possibly way back when I watched (sorry, abandoned) the Point Break remake. Speaking of movies, I still can’t get over Thor’s hair. Seriously. I might have to manip one of Wendy Williams’ weaves onto all of the Thor posters. I can’t take it.

Anyway, onto the useful inventions!

By useful I mean questionable.

Toilet Paper Hat

Given that my nose ALWAYS begins to run two seconds after I get on the train, this would be helpful. I’ll go one step further and say that it would provide adequate protection for my head the next time someone decides to lean on it. Seriously. People take liberties during rush hour.

Shoe Umbrella

For those….rainy days where you don’t have to walk in a straight line? Seriously. This would be good for anyone who is being flanked by two space providers (e.g.burly bodyguards that make sure that no one trips over your shoe umbrellas. Knowing me, I’d probably trip myself).

Dictionary Desk Pillow

First of all, why? WHY ENCOURAGE SLEEPING ON A DESK? That ish is painful. Secondly, this thing is $65? I’d rather just sleep on my actual books for free. That way I won’t feel compelled to sleep at my desk to justify my somewhat misguided purchase.

Cup Noodle Candle

Why? The prawns look good, though. Noodles are great but I need my candles to look like… candles, not make me hungry enough to eat wax.

Thumb Extenders

Lol, yeah…This probably isn’t being exclusively used for touchscreeens. Seriously, why? A thumb extender? How much thumb does one person need? I’m done. LOL.

Japan, I love you, but you’re weird.  



  1. Sharknado, is awesome. I think my favorite scenes is when he shoots into the sky with a 9mm pistol on full auto, with both hands and then… Pulls his hands down and has two 9mm pistols… 🙂 Or when the house floods but only in some rooms and the sharks get em… then they go outside and there is no water there either… Fun watch, not good though 🙂 LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LMAO. Sharknado is a classic. A cinematic masterpiece. I could have done without the last movie (so many idiotic cameos ugh) but my fave scene/bit is the chainsaw. When he sawed his way out of the shark in the first movie I almost choked on my tongue, LOL. It was hilarious. 😭😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I haven’t watched the latest one so … NO SPOILERS! I’m saving it to torture my wife with… we trick her into watching this with us by getting her to promise to watch a movie.. without knowing what it is going to be… Sharknado III here we come (laugh)

        Liked by 1 person


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