I can’t work out if it’s That or Who. Where’s a pedant when I need one?!
K, first of all – I have nothing against makeup — I love my matte lipstick. I love my silver eyeliner. I love my lipgloss, my mascara, my eyeshadows and well, you get the drill.
But sometimes I kind of hate it — and I guess I do have something against it. Whatever. My first line was an alternative fact, okay?
Most of time that I wear makeup it’s because I feel like I need to and that sucks. There’s nothing worse than getting ready on time (a major feat for me) and then I look into a mirror and go, ‘OH, HELL NO!’. My eyes look to puffy. The skin underneath them is too dark, the blemishes are too obvious – suddenly the flaws become too visible to ignore and I’m rubbing concealer on my face. And then concealer isn’t enough and then I have to apply foundation and then I have to tackle my non-existent eyebrows. Oh, no, no, no. This just isn’t on.
I first started wearing mascara at thirteen (I’d actually sneakily apply it on the bus or at school before I realised that my parents didn’t even notice!). I usually just stuck to mascara, eyeshadow, eyeliner and lipgloss and after a while I didn’t even bother anymore. I had really bad acne when I was younger (like really, really bad) so there are few residual scars. Generally, I don’t notice them but I think a few years ago I just felt like I looked extremely terrible so I would cake my face in foundation every day.
And then I’d spend the whole day blotting it or worrying about my face being shiny (if I had a dollar for every time I’ve asked someone if my face is shiny – I’d be too rich to care about this!) and it didn’t make for a pleasant experience. I did that for about a year before I realised that I didn’t really want to wake up half an hour early just to apply make-up or — reach my destination half an hour early so I could apply it in the bathroom. It just got too much and I realised that it wasn’t making me feel good about myself but worse. I also noticed that I wasn’t asked for ID when wearing makeup and I was like, what because I need my ‘you look young!’’ validation so badly. LOL.
So I ditched the make-up and only wear the full on foundation if I feel completely hideous. I used to make do with concealer but I can barely be bothered these days. I feel like I spend way too much time worrying about my makeup melting off than I do about my normal shitty face. I might as well just worry about my normal shitty face.
That being said sometimes there are days when I just need to look in the mirror and not see my shitty face staring back at me.
I have a feeling that I’m in the middle of a vicious cycle.
In terms of makeup on other people….well, first of all, I don’t want to judge anyone but I think there are some people out there who LITERALLY can’t go anywhere without make-up for whatever reason and that’s kind of sad in a way. I obviously understand that feeling but luckily laziness cured me of it. Still, I think so many people actually look better without makeup (or with less of it). Some people go a little overboard (okay so maybe I’m judging now). There are a lot of current trends that I don’t get. Contouring and all of that. Blusher is something that I will never get. I’m dark and I technically can’t blush, so…? I have worn blusher before but I felt like I looked like a clown almost. I just want to hide blemishes not completely re-shape my face or look like another person entirely.
I suspect that I just completely fail at this whole makeup thing anyway, so yeah, I’m happy to wear my lost cause hat for this one.