Jared Padalecki and the evil golden arches

If you’re on a phone, you can see the video: here

So, let’s do a checklist (as opposed to receiving a check for eating McD’s. Sigh):

• Using the kids as part of his Big Mac Pimpin’ – CHECK
• Adequate information about whatever the hell he’s promoting? – NOPE
• Adequate information about himself? – YEP!
• Statement implying that he’s not just doing this for the money? CHECK. He owns his own business, y’all. I’m not hating on that, I just wouldn’t have put it in the clip if I wanted people to really go out and sample this All Day Breakfast thing, which doesn’t sound healthy but…
• Some sort of clip hinting that with the right amount of exercise, we can all eat McDonald’s All Day menu and end up with chiseled abs and an excessive amount of beanies. – CHECK.
• Another inexplicable explanation about how he flies back and forth by his own choosing – CHECK.

I don’t really have more to say. I just watched it like it was my team playing a game and yelled out things in response to him. I might be quoting him incorrectly, but who gives a fuck?

Jared: It’s 1pm and I haven’t eaten

Me: WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! None of us have time to eat, bro. I stiiiiill wouldn’t hit up McD’s for All Day Brekkie. I’d just buy a Big Mac. Or lunch?

Jared: I usually finish work at 4am in Austin time and then fly back

Me: So…isn’t it breakfast-ish time by the time you land (idk timezones?) and also, NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO DO THAT!

Jared: Which means I’m back in time to pick up the kids for school!

Me: Have a cookie. And wait, that might answer my previous question.  I’m sure a sleep supplement commercial is coming next. Maybe scented beanies that help you sleep? BEANIEPOCALYPSE – YOU’LL SLEEP SO GOOD THAT YOU’LL THINK THE WORLD IS OVER! Too much? Wait. Or, he can advise people to not fly across the country multiple times a week? Nah, that would be too easy.

Anyway, I saw a few comments from people OUTRAGED that anyone dare question their Overlord and Master Jared Padalecki for selling his soul and promoting McDonald’s, the Evil Golden Arches and all around despicable fast food chain (I’m not hatin’ personally – I love me a Big Mac every once in a while, so if anyone wants to pay me to make commercials about it, I am available). I think the people questioning him kinda have a point. Not just because an All Day McDonald’s menu probably  isn’t a good idea but because he probably wouldn’t eat this shit unless they paid him to. Which they are.

Anyway, I hope he’s at least paid off one his mortgages. Thankfully, I am embarrassed enough on his behalf so he doesn’t need to worry about that. Get money, bitch!